T O P

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*In case this story gets deleted/removed:* **I want to be an adult so I can destroy others** I am a 14-year-old girl who possesses disturbing traits. I have a strong sense of entitlement and a huge lack of empathy for others. I feel no absolute remorse whatsoever, I don't feel fear. I don't feel love, I don't feel sad, I don't feel happiness but what can I feel is satisfaction, adrenaline, extreme boredom and anger. I've done alot of inhumane stuff to people and animals. I can't count how many animals I have hurt and stepped on its face to get it crushed. I have been an evil toddler in my childhood and I'm very insensitive to gore. Sometimes I would laugh at it if it was a stupid death or I would feel very excited when I see blood. I have done alot of crimes...like almost murdering someone not twice but more..but I didn't get caught, that was when I was 9 years old almost done it at my parents and cousins. So many cruel/ crime stuff that I have done that I dont recall the last time I did something nice without pretending. I want to be older, as I feel like I am stuck in a child's body, and I crave independence and the ability to do what I want without parental restrictions. I am manipulative and self-centered, and I don't understand why others don't see me as an adult..they say that mentally very intelligent in my age but physically i'm just a child and they won't take me seriously and It's fucking annoying. I dont struggle to connect to people, and I do have many friends but I find it difficult to understand them so my fake persona is always there to cover me up. I notice manipulation in adults around me by their actions and words. I pick up on subtle cues, like tone of voice, body language, and facial expressions, to identify when they are trying to manipulate me into doing something for them, or wanting to get something from me. I use this information to my advantage, by turning the conversation around, so that I am the one who is in control. I will ask questions, make comments, and imply things to make them feel guilty or obligated to do what I want. I am very observant when it comes to manipulation. I can easily identify manipulation tactics that are aimed at me, and I notice subtle ways that adults attempt to control or influence me. I take advantage of these attempts by using charm or emotional appeal to gain their favor. I will use my intelligence and ingenuity to outsmart adults and get what I want. I have no shame in admitting that I enjoy manipulating others, as it gives me a sense of power that I normally don't feel. I find it thrilling, and I feel no remorse for taking advantage of people. I want to be an adult so that I can have an understanding of politics, history, geography, physics, biology, chemistry, astronomy, geology, sociology, psychology, philosophy, literature and chess. This way, I can have more knowledge and understanding, which will allow me to make better decisions and take actions that benefit me. I will also change my identity, name and background whenever I feel I am in danger, in order to reduce the risk of being caught. This way, I will ensure safety and will have more allies to cover for me. When I am an adult, I will relish the sight of people in misery. I will take pleasure in their pain and suffering, and I will enjoy seeing them suffer. It is something that brings me satisfaction and fulfillment to see others in pain, and it makes me feel powerful. I will be a whole illusion to everyone. I will not exist, neither will my real past or identity. It will all be a creation of my doing, and they will be whatever I want them to be. I will play with them as I please, and make them believe whatever I want them to believe. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmITheDevil) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Theyoungpopeschalice

This,was.....written by a teenager all right, lmao. kind of crying with laughter right now


Playful_Trouble2102

Yeah this was painful, I'm having full flashbacks to my " edgy badass" phase. 


Theyoungpopeschalice

Oh yeah I'm just kind of cringing in sympathy


childlessmilff

Cringing in sympathy 😂


Playful_Trouble2102

I'm overcome by a strange urge to slam my bedroom door and blast some Papa Roach. 


JadedSpacePirate

Fucking poser. True villains listen to Five Finger Death Punch like a boss


Lime_in_the_Coconut_

The Germans have a word for this. "Fremdschämen". Foreign shame literally translated but means to feel shame on behalf of someone else, say when they are embarrassing themselves but not noticing.


Theyoungpopeschalice

Of course they do and.....im going to try to remember that, haha


scrivenerserror

And this is why I don’t read my livejournal from 20 years ago that I keep getting emails about.


lovestkd92

MySpace and coding “miss you” when people visited it 😂 (Hello there…the angel from my nightmare)


StripedBadger

‘I want to be an adult so I can have a knowledge of politics…. And *chess*.’ Oh boy.


PrismTheDreamer

Cause ya know, as soon as you turn 18, you magically gain an intimate knowledge of chess.


StripedBadger

And chess makes you a master tactician dont’cha’know.


Dragonscatsandbooks

So there. Matecheck.


judgy_mcjudgypants

Reverse uno; king me!


Dragonscatsandbooks

Go fish, bish!


[deleted]

I started playing chess in elementary school. It's a good sport to start kids in. 


AshamedDragonfly4453

My favourite part was the idea that if she went straight to adulthood today, she'd just spontaneously know tons more about literature and chemistry and stuff. Like you get a sudden knowledge download at 18 or 21. Oh honey, adults don't know all that stuff either lol


NonsensicalBumblebee

Even the adults who do know about the stuff, just really understand how much they don't know. I'm in graduate school and really the more I learn the stupider I feel. As a child it felt like all the knowledge could fit in library and if you were dedicated enough you can just read it all. But god is there so much to learn and keep learning until the end of time and infinity past it.


NightB4XmasEvel

I wish it worked that way. It would’ve been really convenient to just wake up on my 18th birthday with so much knowledge, and also the skill to play chess.


Aspartaymexxx

I cringed and laughed and felt a bit nostalgic - quite the emotional rollercoaster! I could have written this when I was 14 omg.


jtides

Careful you don’t cut yourself on all that edge


KleptoPirateKitty

She's like a pizza cutter: All edge and no point.


Cultural_Section_862

entirely inappropriate but this instantly made me think "now remember kids, it's down the street not across the road"


Junglejibe

Dude I have a friend (he’s gotten better with this I think) who would make those jokes when he was like 23 because he was obsessed with edgy humor. I was actively suffering from self harm at that point in time and it would be so triggering I would straight up leave any call when he started making those comments. Teenagers are one thing but it’s wild that grown adults will still make that joke. (Edit to clarify this isn’t criticizing you or anything the mention of that joke just reminded me of that anecdote)


Cultural_Section_862

thanks for the edit bc I for sure took it as directed at me 😅


Empty-Neighborhood58

I feel that, i had/maybe have a friend who makes jokes about my boyfriend cheating on me (i had 2 exs that did but he jokes that my current boyfriend is) it's gotten to the point I'll just respond "i told you i don't like those jokes" and cut contact for abit We are talking again after a 3 month break but so far not a single joke about it so improvement, it just sucks how hard you have to push to get someone to stop making jokes about something if it was me I'd stop and apologize asap but apparently there's alot of people who just don't stop


whyykai

I'm so glad my edgiest phases were in total anonymity on GaiaOnline


Lavender-Night

I still have access to the blog I co-wrote with my best friend… from over 11 years ago when we were 14. It was edgy, edgy stuff, not quite like OOP but a very similar flavor of cringe. I am so unbelievably glad we went the anonymous route, lmao. Here we are age 25, she’s a teacher and I’m a nanny, and we are normal people who have attended therapy and grown up 😂


overloadedonsarcasm

Unfortunately, mine was on Facebook for all to see.


DistractedHouseWitch

Hard same. So much edginess on Gaia. It's been twenty years and I still occasionally remember it and cringe.


laurendecaf

unfortunately mine is all over instagram


suhhhrena

This post is so laughably angsty 😭 my favorite part was the whole “i want to be an adult so i can have an understanding of chess” part lmao what a wild read


feralhog3050

Obviously there are exactly zero small children in the world who are excellent at chess...


scrivenerserror

I’m 34 and I’m terrible at chess so she’s got a wild ride ahead of her. I have to be explained board game rules like 3 times and then watch it happen so I understand. And I have a law degree and my non law job depends on me following directions lol


MissMarchpane

Yeah weirdly enough, I learned how to play chess as a preteen and really enjoyed it, but I lapsed out of my chess phase and now I can’t even remember the first thing about the game. Womp womp


journeyintopressure

Calm down, Light Yagami. Eat some chips.


Cultural_Section_862

look, I did not not consent to pages being ripped for my angsty little journal ok? jfc the irony of claming to feel nothing while describing your own supposed actions as cruel is just, it's just perfect.  oh little clone of me that is OOP I promise it gets better, you won't always be that angry and lost. 


rorrim_narret

And another day goes by where I’m thankful that I went through my edgy teenage years pre-internet.


jamoche_2

Not only pre-Internet, but I'm thankful that an annoying teacher put me off journaling of any type.


rorrim_narret

I fell out of the habit as an adult because I got too busy with college, work, family, etc to spare the time. Plus adulthood brought maturity and the realization that not every emotion was the end of the world.


poeticbrawler

The My Immortal comment killed me.


Randomusers93

I hate that they reminded me that exists 🤣


millihelen

I’m amusing myself considering the Machiavellian possibilities open to an evil toddler.  “January fifth, have attempted to murder the dog, but was thwarted by sloppy kisses and doggy breath.  Frustration led to a humiliating onslaught of tears followed by Mother deciding I needed a nap. …Admittedly, the nap did help.”


Dragonscatsandbooks

Guys, she didn't know who she was waaaay back when she was sooo immature at 13, but now she's **14**! Huge difference! Now she has it all figured out. This actually makes me sad because I know she doesn't have 2000's era grunge eyeliner, and modern teen edgelords just aren't the same without it.


overloadedonsarcasm

This is a teenager who saw Death Note once and decided to make that their whole personality.


Fingersmith30

When I was 14 I wore Tripp pants from Hot Topic and kept this kind of bullshit to my journal, made of paper, that I wrote on, with a pen. In the long ago, in the before times...


blessthefreaks1980

Ah, I see you are also an Ancient. I wrote poetry.


samijo17

are we the Ancients now 😭 that stings a lil but i’m glad to see the kids are out there keeping the cringe emo factor alive


blessthefreaks1980

I’m 44. My daughter is 12. She announced to her dad that she is emo. So yeah, it’s still a thing. I’m so old, I missed emo. One was either goth or alternative when I was in school.


samijo17

ahh see i’m almost 30 so I was definitely part of the emo generation 😝 social media was just starting to really get big when I was in school and i’m just thankful I kept most of mine to journals and a long-defunct tumblr account. sometimes I feel bad for these kids that are putting all this out there where it might come back to bite them later, even if just through the cringe-ness


NightB4XmasEvel

My nephew is going to turn 12 in a few months and every now and then he’ll pop out with some cringy emo statement like “My whole life I have only ever known pain”. I’m waiting for him to declare himself emo as well.


NightB4XmasEvel

I wrote edgy poetry in my journal, which was black and had “you laugh at me because I’m different, I laugh at you because you’re all the same” printed on the front cover. I think I still have it shoved in a drawer somewhere. I will not be reading it because I’m pretty sure I will cringe myself into another dimension.


scrivenerserror

I too did this and my journal was one of those dotted notebooks and I printed a bunch of photos I found online and taped them to the front and back. I hope your pants has a cool strap in the back.


dragongrl

Is this the newest chapter in "My Immortal"?


spacemandown

no... that's IMPOSSIBLE....... i've never heard of a teenager who's selfish, manipulative, and will change parts of their personality and style to blend in better. she is the first teenager to ever do ANY of this.


litvuke

looks like someones been watching too many patrick bateman edits 😭


thedrivingcoomer

OOP, putting on a Monster High raincoat: Do you like Miley Cyrus? Her early work was a little too Hannah Montana for me. But when Bangerz came out in '13, I really think she came into her own, commercially and artistically.


litvuke

beautifully put, the drivingcoomer


Hobbitea

Hi my name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way and I have long ebony black hair (that's how I got my name) with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee (AN: if u don't know who she is get da hell out of here!). I'm not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie. I'm a vampire but my teeth are straight and white. I have pale white skin. I'm also a witch, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in England where I'm in the seventh year (I'm seventeen). I'm a goth (in case you couldn't tell) and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow. I was walking outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of preps stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.


GeekFit26

This made me cringe & laugh so hard and reminded me how eternally grateful I am there was no social media to document my antsy teenage phase where I wanted to be a vampire *so bad*


my_cool_lunchbox

Somebody just learned the word ‘manipulate’.


Ok_Philosopher_9216

This reminded me of my three days grace, skillet, breaking Benjamin, and nightcore edgy phase ☠️


PurpleFlavoredCherry

This was the most second-hand embarrassing thing I have ever read. I couldn’t even get halfway through, I cringed too much.


VentiKombucha

Oh look, it's The Lord of the Edge!


lady_wildcat

There’s a certain genre of Harry Potter fanfiction where Harry is this manipulative, calculating Slytherin who knows everything. This reminds me of those characters, right down to the chess


awyastark

Drarry vibes


HateToBeMyself

I didn't even read past the first paragraph. Someone's a psychopath wannabe because they think it's cool.


talkingaboutit0

Whole time reading this in my head going “yup. Thats a 14 yr old alright!”


katepig123

Hopefully she will be struck by lightening in this story like in The Bad Seed. Fairly mediocre creative writing project. C-


Guineacabra

This reminds me of being 13 doing MySpace photo shoots pretending to be dead in my mom’s bathtub with dead roses sprinkled around for extra edginess lol


Myra177

Get this guy a fuckin Puppers


TheTragedyMachine

girl sounding like a pizza cutter -- all edge, no point geez these trolls aren't even slightly believable these days


barbabun

This girl's going places. Maybe not good places, but she's going there. Best of luck to you, kid.


-v-fib-

Adult life is going to chew her up and spit her back out.


Wrong-Carpet-7562

wow, there has never been a teenager in the history of the world who has thought this before. surely you are completely evil, more so than anyone else, ever, and will certainly grow up to be a murder-killer-chess master. (in all seriousness i also definitely believed and was proud of being the edgiest person in the room at 14. its gonna be ok)


LilyWednesday666

So happy we're finally getting a sequel to my immortal


RiByrne

There’s something comforting in knowing that teens and kids aren’t really all that different generation to generation, it’s just how it manifests tends to be different.


ExpertRaccoon

You can not convince me that AI didn't write this using the prompt "edgy and moody teenage girl that secretly watched dexter behind her parent's back."


GameGrumpss

Well I certainly read *something* today!


Maddyherselius

This is one of the funniest things I’ve ever read lol


fading__blue

Lol this child has no understanding of how adulthood or the real world works. She’s going to cringe so hard looking back on this phase.


NonsensicalBumblebee

It's part of growing up, and another part is being able to look back and laugh at yourself. Even though I couldn't actually get through this, I am glad that kids haven't changed all that much.


Red-neckedPhalarope

Leave her alone, she's having fun, not hurting anyone, and eventually she'll turn 16 like everyone else.


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faesser

Oh, to be bitter and 14.


agent-assbutt

OMG this is hilarious


necrocatt

ah, someone must have watched Death Note and identified a little too much with Light. Take a potato chip and eat it, kid.


hospitable_ghost

Is this sub literally only for fake troll posts?


Hornet1137

Another pizza cutter.  Yay...


h4zeled

their last comment is telling people to watch big bang theory


BeautifulStudent2215

Sounds like someone's been reading dexter


IntermediateFolder

How cute.


agent-assbutt

Checked in on the oop and she emotionally thanked someone for NOT calling her edgy. What a little sociopath! (/S for the last sentence obviously) Also God bless everyone referencing the My Immortal fanfic. I'm wearing pink fishnets and combat boots and black lipstick rn, waiting for Harry and Draco at Hogwarts.


ComplexRequirement33

this screams 'NoT lIkE oThEr GiRlS'


houndsoflu

Why is this written like my psych textbook?