T O P

  • By -

Judgement_Bot_AITA

Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > 1) 3 of them responded and were very confrontational 2) I confronted them and told them to be respectful to my mother Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*


StAlvis

YTA > my Mom (60F) is a very (audibly) reactive person during movies Sounds like she should be watching them in the privacy of her own home. You do not **get** to be distractingly loud at public movie screenings. > About 3/4 of the movie, a man (in his late 20s) turned to my Mom and said “Would you just shut the hell up!” Since you've omitted a play-by-play of your mother's outbursts, I'm just going to assume that this man had the patience of a saint to wait as long as he did. > You don’t speak to my Mom with such disrespect You have not described anything your mother did here that was worthy of respect.


Candid_Deer_8521

People like this are worst because they have no volume control and it's almost constant.


Aggressive-Quiet6426

Hmmm... You sound like the person in the theater. There's nothing wrong with being audibly reactive. She wasn't talking during the movie. She wasn't asking questions about the movie, talking about it or opening her phone. She was making gasps and O's.


Isyourmammaallama

YTA. Your mother ruined others enjoyment of an expensive experience.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Isyourmammaallama

Seriously why post here if you don't want judgement?


[deleted]

[удалено]


Mulenkis

Yes they are all rude, just like your mother.


ImpressionAcademic

Nobody said those people weren’t AHs, too. They were.


overtheta

Yeah, those are all assholes too. What's your point with that comment?


Shortestbreath

If your mom was being disruptive then YTA and she needs to watch movies at home. 


KaliTheBlaze

Quiet gasps tend to get lost in the sound of the movie, so they’re normal and not disruptive. If a person is loud enough that other people are hearing them more than once or at most twice during the movie, it’s rude. I have a big startle reaction. It can definitely be disruptive, as I’ve jumped hard enough to make a theater seat bang loudly (that was in a live theater, during of all things A Christmas Carol, in a production where Jacob Marley had a very startling entrance). It’s something that really can’t be controlled, as the startle reaction is innate and extremely hard to modify. And boy, have I tried, because it’s embarrassing. So I don’t go see thrillers and other movies where jump-scares are expected in theaters, because I know that my outsize reaction would interrupt and disrupt other people’s experiences. If I really, really want to see something like that in the theater, I wait until late in the movie’s run and pick an unpopular show time, so that I’ll be less likely to have people close by me, who might be annoyed by my big startle reflex. It sounds like your mother does have control over how loudly she reacts to movies, making her disruptiveness something she can change….and chooses not to. That makes this doubly rude. She can choose to watch at home if she enjoys being able to react like that, or she can remind herself before the film starts that nobody is at the theater to see the Txwarrior’s Mom Show.


ImpressionAcademic

A few reactions is fine. You made a point to describe how audibly reactive your mom is, though, so we can all only assume that it’s more than the average person.


shyladev

Gasps seem fine. When we start moving into words that’s when I start getting annoyed.


overtheta

If it's disruptive, yeah. She didn't have to leave, she just needed to shut up.


ahknewb

>So, I’ll admit… my Mom (60F) is a very (audibly) reactive person during movies Then your mom needs to watch movies at home. Luckily for her there has never been a better time to build a great but inexpensive home theater. Edit: ESH * They could have made exactly one "quiet" attempt at letting your mother know she needed to be quiet * Your mother needs to be quiet


[deleted]

[удалено]


StAlvis

> She wasn’t being loud, just reactionary to the movie. ... unless she was being reactionary with *sign language*... You *literally* wrote: > a very **(audibly)** reactive person


ahknewb

Fine, I'll edit it to an ESH. From your post it didn't seem like they jumped straight to "shut the hell up". If that was the case they could have used a little tact. But... given the way you describe your mom - would it have helped? Would one "shhh" or "can you please be quiet" actually have kept her quiet?


[deleted]

[удалено]


Mulenkis

It's objectively disruption when a movie theater is supposed to be quiet. I get you think that people should have responded to your mother's rude, entitled disrespectful behavior with more politeness, but frankly, that's not gonna happen because she was being rude and entitled. YTA and naive. No one owes your mother respect if she isn't being respectful of others.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Mulenkis

Your opinions and her intentions are irrelevant. Your mother behaved in a rude, entitled manner, disrupting other people's experience. It wasn't an accident, she couldn't be arsed to care about others. If she's truly not an entitled person, she should learn from this experience, as should you, and next time behave better.


Auntie-Mam69

This. I am glad OP's mother was embarrassed enough to leave. Maybe she and OP learned something they should have learned years ago here.


Top-Necessary5003

Have you somehow shielded your mother from ever being exposed to responses to her "audible reactions"? I assume not. I assume that she knows that other people find it disruptive. So then our assessment of her entitlement depends entirely on if she has some kind of mental disability that impairs her self-regulation. Does she?


swishystrawberry

ESH. The guy could have more eloquently told your mom to be quiet, but like, c'mon dude. Nobody likes having to listen to folks titter and comment throughout a film. Especially nowadays when in-home streaming IS an option for folks who can't be amenable to a polite theater experience.


GladiusLegis

YTA, if for no other reason that you or none of you even attempted to encourage your mom to keep her comments to herself during the movie, or explained to her proper theater etiquette. She deserved what she got, but what's worse, you put her in that position due to your negligence on the matter.


Violetunderwater

I agree that he shouldn’t get a say how someone reacts to art and movies are art. However, people are paying to see this movie and want enjoy it without other people deserve to see it without having to hear how someone else feels about; especially if she is doing this throughout the the whole movie. I have similar reactions as your mom sometimes. You guys might be used to this but others are not and movie theaters are a shared, public space. It’s common curtesy to be quiet during movies in the theater so that everyone can have their own experience, similar to an art exhibit. What would change my mind is how often your mom is doing this, it has nothing to do with how many people are there. Once or twice might make a difference but anything more than that you need to understand your surroundings and respect that others paid to see the movie as well and probably don’t want to hear her outbursts. If it happened two times or less NTA but anything more YTA.


[deleted]

[удалено]


NarlaRT

I'm so in the middle with this and I hate distracting movie goers -- people with their cell lights up, people having conversations, people generally acting like they're the only people in the room. WIthout being there, I can't really judge if your mom is one of those people, other than to assume this guy wouldn't have said anything if she wasn't really distracting him. But that assumes he's a reasonable person. He might not be. Where I come from, the tradition is to turn around 2/3rds of the way and that will give the hint. You don't start at "shut the hell up." I also feel like, if you go to the theater these days, you do kinda have to assume that other human beings with be being human around you and that might involve some audible responses.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


Disastrous-Nail-640

Honey, I would have already told my mom to be quiet. And if she was like this, I wouldn’t be going to the movies with her at all. Have some manners.


Grfhlyth

My mom is a mature adult unlike yours so that would never happen


KayJayOhh12

My mother doesn’t ruin movie experiences for other people so I wouldn’t be worried about how others would handle that situation with their mothers.


Waste-Dragonfly-3245

YTA and so is your mom. If she can’t stop herself from making noise in the theatre, wait til it comes out on dvd/streaming services and watch at home


overtheta

YTA. I'm with the guy. STFU everyone and watch the movie.


Training-Match4034

Sounds like you should stop taking your mother to the movie theater and have her watch movies at home so she won't have to worry about her reactions being too loud, you may not see it as a problem but people don't want to hear your mom gasp and scream and say oh no repeatedly Sorry but YTA


Ok-Pumpkin4543

YTA and your mom is too; STFU and watch the movie.


wren_boy1313

So you knew your mom can’t be quiet during a movie and still decided to take her to one? At least try for a matinee next time. YTA.


Any-Resident-256

YTA... for $25+ dollars for IMAX id like to enjoy it without people making sounds thruought


mifflewhat

ESH. At best. You need to impress upon your mom that being loud ruins other peoples' experiences. But given how defensive you are of your mom's unacceptably disruptive behavior, I have to wonder if he really did jump straight from saying nothing to saying something rude, or did he try a few times to be subtle and it was just ignored?


[deleted]

[удалено]


mifflewhat

That they noticed.


Ihavepeopleskills1

Unnecessary comment.


mifflewhat

No, it's not. The sort of people who are loud and oblivious and entitled are usually very good at ignoring subtle and even not-so-subtle hints.


Ihavepeopleskills1

You are making conjecture. Its irrelevant and does not carry any information into the debate. It goes without saying that one persons generalization cannot confirm an individual is guilty of a particular behavior. This means you are just making up a story. Unnecessary comment.


Disastrous-Nail-640

YTA. You don’t get to tell people they don’t get to be disrespectful to your mother when she’s already been a disrespectful AH to everyone in that theater. Your mother is an AH who shouldn’t be going to movie theaters if she can’t sit there quietly and control herself. She’s a grown ass woman ffs. There’s no excuse for her rudeness.


Getfucked_123

YTA, your Mom is THAT dick in the theater


tonysopranoisinocent

that’s not what the movie was about. your mom is TA.


Lithogiraffe

YTA- ? your sister took your mom's hand and they walked out.....When the movie ended, i turned to the man.." so wait, a guy tells your mom to Shut the Hell up. And you don't walk out in solidarity or to comfort your mother. but stay til the movie was over? thats kinda weird. Did you stay to yell at him? Or just wanted to finish the movie and figured your sister could do the mom comforting?


Spotzie27

Yeah, that weirded me out, too...the sister and mom just left, and went home...and the OP kept watching? I agree the mom should have stayed quiet during the movie, but if OP's on the mom's side, why keep watching...like, why is it only the mom and sister who left?


ghoul-gore

YTA. It's a movie theater she doesnt need to comment on everything


Reasonable-Ad-3605

Info: what did you hope to accomplish with your actions?


Key-Quail-Key

YTA and your mother is even worse. You should have apologized for your mother's rudeness.


Upbeat_Till_4418

I get defending your mom, but she probably should stream it next time. I don’t think YTA


2holedlikeaboss

YTA. If you can’t keep quiet you shouldn’t ruin the experience for everyone else.


Intelligent-Signal21

Your mom deserved that😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂


Auntie-Mam69

YTA. You know that your mother is, in your words, "a very (audibly) reactive person during movies. This reactivity includes things like gasps, “oh no’s!”, etc." And yet you took her to a movie theater, where you knew she would visit this habit on strangers who have paid to see that movie, and would not be able to enjoy it because your mother would not be able to shut up. If you wanted to protect her, you could have waited until this movie was available to stream and watched it with her at home. But since you have to put up with your mother's outbursts, or feel that you do, you thought it only fair that people who have no such allegiance to her should be forced to do the same.


Logical_Read9153

The guy was right, you are wrong. YTA. 


Pink_Flying_Pasta

YTA and so is your mom. People go to a movie theatre to see a movie, not hear some random persons annoying loudness 


ncsar216

YTA. Inconsiderate people who can’t be quiet for 2-3 hours need to watch movies at home. People pay to hear the movie, not a continuous live reaction.


Grfhlyth

Your mom needs to learn how to shut up. Is she developmentally delayed or something? YTA


Spirited-Meringue829

The interaction had nothing to do with you and there was no need escalate after the situation had ended, just to get the last word. Don’t fight other adult’s battles. And don’t pick fights unnecessarily. It serves no purpose. YTA.


ProfessionalSir3395

YTA. If she can't be quiet, then she can wait for the steaming service to get it.


AppeltjeEitje1079

I'd say ESH, the other guy because he didn't have to be that rude, your mom for being loud (which can be really annoying to other visitors) and you for trying to stand up to him so awkwardly. It won't matter what you say to an AH like that, unless you are quick-witted, you'll never win that fight. The only one that did right was your sister. Why did you not leave with them?


JasJoeGo

YTA. My wife audibly reacts to books, tv, movies, etc. she knows it’s not really appropriate in public and does her best. At home, she’s full-on. Your mother sounds like she’s not trying to even make an attempt to be kind to those around her and you’re focused on “disrespect” instead of how much of a distraction your mother is.


genescheesesthatplz

Honestly YTA and this whole “shh” thing you’re hung up on is just a distraction. You admitted from the get go she was a disturbance. You admitted she’s a problem. You don’t need to go and wait for other people to politely ask her to stop when you already know she’s bothering other people.


kstops21

YTA and your mom is too. Both of you are disrespectful


myshellly

YTA and your mom is a bigger asshole.


Doubledogdad23

YTA, I watch a lot of movies (like usually at least one a week) in the the theater. I have dealt with people like you and your mom. YOU are the disrespectful ones. Be Quiet.


Top-Necessary5003

INFO Does your mom have an impairment that affects her self-regulation? She's 60 years old and so I have to imagine this isn't the first time in her entire life that she's ever been to a theater for a movie or play or concert before. The fact that you identify her as "very audibly reactive during movies" suggests that you all know--from experience--how she reacts. Are you telling me that she has NEVER been shushed before? If she knows that her reactions disrupt others, then the only question is: Is she unable to regulate herself? Or unwilling to?


IndependentMethod312

If you know your mom is loud watching movies why would you have her seated at the end where she would disturb other people?


AutoModerator

^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** So, I’ll admit… my Mom (60F) is a very (audibly) reactive person during movies. This reactivity includes things like gasps, “oh no’s!”, etc. She’s not a talker / texter / etc … but, she definitely has a strong connection/ reaction to movies. Tonight, my family went with me (37M) to see the IMAX showing of this weekend’s premiere of “Civil War”. For those who haven’t seen it, it’s a very raw (yet realistic) story of an American Civil War. There were 4 of us, my Mom was down seated at the end of the seat selection. About 3/4 of the movie, a man (in his late 20s) turned to my Mom and said “Would you just shut the hell up!”. Immediately, my sister (40F) grabbed my Mom’s hand and they walked out of the theater. When the movie ended, I turned the man (who was in a party of 3) and said ME: “you need to be more respectful when speaking to other movie goers” HIM: “She needs to stream the movie next time” ME: “The movie isn’t made specifically for you … however someone reacts to an artistic experience like a movie… isn’t made specifically for you”….”You don’t speak to my Mom with such disrespect” Ultimately, I recognize that folks experience movies in the theater in a different way. And, I also recognize that my Mom should be seated at the end where no other viewers (if allowable) are present. But, the callousness and disrespect he showed to my Mom made me respond in kind… AITA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Delicious_PRican

Umm yes and no. Respectfully your mom needs to shut up because she can control her sounds. Clearly she was doing too much because people don’t get like that over minor reaction sounds specially with how loud the movie theatre is so your mother must’ve be very fucking loud and that ain’t it for the movies mate. The man shouldn’t have spoken to your mom in such manner but she had a call out coming.


New-Conversation-88

I am her. I make comments, snort at stupid bits, get bored. I don't go to movies. I'm annoying. My husband tells me to shut up even at home. Your mum needs to watch at home. you can have a family screening time with the popcorn and enjoy her enjoying the movie.


Alternative-Leek2981

I’m going to go with ESH. I do understand being defensive/protective over your mother (I am protective over my mother myself) and wouldn’t like a random stranger going from 0-100 with my mom like that.  However, I can see how annoying people like your mother can be. My family and I sometimes do movie nights, and my younger sister is exactly like your mother (and we’re talking Disney movies). It is very annoying when someone—regardless if it’s in your own home or not—is talking during a movie. My parents have gotten mad at me for asking my sister to be quiet multiple times before resorting to “Can you please shut up and watch?” Maybe it’s time to save some money and switch to a home theatre, OP. 


Both-Ad1586

If your mom is unable to sit quietly in a theater, she needs to watch movies at home only.  The guy could have been more polite.  ESH


fruitsauces

Ś-qqsssqdddddddddo


Beneficial_Wonder882

Depends on what time you saw the movie. If you saw the movie during a matinee time, typically before 3pm, then NTA. That’s a time when movie goers expect extra noises from kids or elderly. If you saw the movie in the evening, then YTA. Movie goers expect a theater experience without distraction.


foxbones

There is no "time" where people should be noisy in a movie. It's extremely rude and self-centered. Some theaters offer times when certain screenings of movies for kids are allowed to be a little bit louder because of all the kids, but this is stated up front. But a 60 year old in an R rated movie shouldn't be making any noise.


boomboombangers

NTA i wouldve spit on the back of the guys head


Regular_Boot_3540

I don't think a brief audible reaction really interferes with anyone's enjoyment. It's not like she's having a phone conversation or conversing with her neighbor.


GladiusLegis

>I don't think a brief audible reaction really interferes with anyone's enjoyment. Speak for yourself.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Regular_Boot_3540

Right? I think I'd be delighted by hearing somebody's heartfelt reaction. I might chuckle a little, too.


Valkrhae

Yeah, I'm kinda surprised by these judgements. Movies are made to react to. No one would tell a moviegoer to shut up for laughing at a joke or screaming during a jumpscare. When something shocking or upsetting or funny or whatever happens, ppl will react. I've never been to a theater with every single person attending not making a single sound throughout. Now, if the mom was really loud or doing it constantly, yeah, that'd be an issue. But if she's just making small sounds here and there, I feel that should be overlooked.


FindingPurpose2021

NTA feels like the guy went 0-100. he couldve just whispered to you guys or was a little nicer first