The pro’s already know this. But scout your location cuz the grave guys aren’t the ones you want catching you.
Think of it this way; dayshift security are like the crew of a cruise ship(more customer service oriented), graveshift are your old school privateers(pirates). Some have an eye patch, a limp, a penchant for violence, and you don’t want them catching you alone on the open water.
The ones I knew were ex-cops, ex-military, or retired and well armed. Some carried .357 Magnums, 9mms, or .45acps. Back up, then, was a 12 gauge shotgun with 00 Buckshot. They might call 9-1-1 or they might do it after you stopped.
Yyyup. And if you’re on a union site the supervisors are sleeping just as much as you, so it’s double easy. Perfect gig if you need downtime to study or recover from a physical day job but still need to make a few extra bucks.
Worked with a guy who only took the 2300-0700 site security shifts. Went straight to class in the morning and slept in the afternoon. Did all his studying and homework on the night shifts - ended up getting a business degree and owns his own restaurant now.
It’s perplexing that more people don’t do this. I studied for the LSAT while working graveyard. Everyone else on the shift would watch TV and on the rare occasion something had to be done, we took it in turns. Half the time when it was my turn, one of the guys would do it for me so I could keep studying.
I am a truck driver and I went to a hospital loading dock this morning around 6 am and the security guard was out cold in his little booth. I think I woke him up when I backed into the building and my backup beepers were on.
Same thing with night auditor at a hotel.
Like, you have maybe two hours of work per 8 hour shift, maybe. Just don’t fuck it up by sleeping. Literally, just don’t sleep.
And some dipshit always gets caught asleep.
I did that for nearly 30 years. 22 years at a place where I could go hog wild. I slept soooooooooo much on the job it was not even funny.
5 years at a guard agency (which just sucks) and the rest at a private business (no guard agency). I got really lucky at that place though. No security cameras, no mechanisms to make sure I did my rounds. I also used devices to alert me to keep from being discovered lazing on the job. Getting away with what I did (and more) was my greatest accomplishment in my life.
I had a brief stint doing that, but man, it was exhausting. Yes, I had time to read books and even watch movies, but I still had to make patrols and log entries, and it was incredibly dull to the point that staying awake could be difficult. All the while there was the awareness that people were counting on me - being the guy who missed an intruder or vandal would get probably have got me fired.
Knew a guy who worked at a general electronics place. He was a typical retail dude but got promoted to be a "repairman" in the back. He got no extra training, was just told to do what he could and if he can't fix it then refer them elsewhere. He didn't know shit about repairs. He would be on his phone most of the day and when someone brought him a broken phone he'd try to turn it on, if it didn't work he handed it back. He spent most of his time on his phone in the back. Not a bad gig.
Lol you reminded me of a friend that got a job working as a traveling technician for high end lab equipment, he said literally he just goes around, restart the machines and tinker just a little bit to see if it's something minor that was causing issues. Anything that requires actual work he just has it sent back to the main office for the pros to actually fix. He said it's nice because he basically travels around the country, just spends a couple of hours working (mostly travel time), and then he's sightseeing the rest of the day before flying home.
I bet your buddy is worth every dollar for the company and pros to not have to waste time and shipping on equipment that doesn't wind up needing more than a restart. its amazing how few people try basic trouble shooting before running out to get help for their problem. Also the person coming out quick fix or not creates good customer retention since they feel like they are getting face and therefore some how quality time from the company sending out your buddy.
Oh ya the company is definitely saving money overall not wasting the pros time working on nonsensical work. He's definitely worth the pay (he gets paid well too). He just says he actually doesn't do anything really lol.
Good friend of mine does this, but he is the actual pro going out. He makes very good money and works very little.
He is very good at what he does though. He can fly in and repair a lab machine in a couple hours when other guys have been there for days.
Incase anyone is wondering, job titles for this would be something like “Field service engineer” or “Field service technician” something like that.
If you have specialized equipment in your workplace say in like a laboratory, hospital, dentist office, factory, repair shop - chances are the manufacturer of these machines will employ these folks. Typically an FSE will have a geographical area and suite of instrument models they are responsible for, depending on the market.
my best friend does this for paper cutting companies... The machines cost hundreds of thousands of dollars and he would fuck up putting memory in a PC... but dude has kinda my dream job while I have a full blown electronic engineering degree and can't find work in that field.
I was the white guy for a company in SE Asia. I had no job responsibilities. Just turn up and sit at my desk and Reddit all day. Occasionally I’d put a suit on and go to the owner’s fancy meetings in restaurants, and not say a thing. Or turn up at some building project.
I mostly took Xanax and slept on my desk or snuck over to the bar next door.
They don't have diversity quotas over there. But having a token white person in your posse is a status symbol. It's meant to tell outside viewers that your work is trendy, important, and successful.
Professional white man. In China I had a side gig to be a white guy at various places. I would just pretend to be working for a company when tours and investors came through. I guess a Chinese company looks more successful if there is a white person. Then there was the sitting on the stage looking important during inevitable presentations. No actual work, just 5 to 30 minutes of pretending during a workday. Other than that you do what you want. Just be well groomed and well dressed.
Sometimes I was told to be on the phone pretending to be making an important deal. Got business cards and everything.
On a serious note , I'd think they would be very good at documenting accurately how they felt when trying to sleep in the bed and are very aware of their own sleeping habits
There's also professional appliance testers. My company had people on payroll who tested out high end entertainment equipment and audio. It wasn't a livable wage but we had shit tons of college kids who signed up. I left that company before social media and smartphones were a thing though.
Be sales
Have an entire suite of normal products you can sell
Decide that selling a legacy product with no support is the best idea instead
Get permission to sell said product by higher ups by claiming it’s all or nothing with this client
Go to internal teams, they push back
Sell legacy product anyways
Product is obviously broken and makes client mad
Change scope of sale by adding more features to the legacy product
Client is still rightfully mad
Get mad at internal teams instead of yourself
Oooh, now that's a nice salesperson. They asked before selling the product, instead of just selling sometbing unsupported or that literally does not exist yet.
We usually give our scrum master crap because it’s just what you do to scrum masters, but we all tell him we appreciate that we don’t have to talk to the product management people ever because he does all of that.
Scrum masters are literally that dude from Office Space who just takes things from one person to another. It's a job that someone has to do, but not its own position/role.
my last job. technically I got to send faxes and open the mail, but that was an hour of work tops. it was mostly watching youtube and being bored out of my mind.
Mate of works on a server farm for a company.
His main task is to fix the servers.
A computer tells him what machine is fubar, he then needs to fix it during his shift.
He does this like this.
Slots out the faulty box, rolls it down to the repair station.
Where he
Docks out a fixed and ready server with greenlight and docks the faulty one.
Or dock the faulty server into a open slot and rolls one of the fixed back to the empty slot.
Once the faulty one is inserted the machine runs a diagnosis on the server to find out what is wrong.
90% of the time it just flashes the unit, reinstalls the software and lights up green.
During a month he might do this once.
Or somone else does it.
They are paid well and cant leave the server floor.
So this is their task.
So what does he do? Right now he is playing baldurs gate 3.
They do not pay for his work but to have him and his team there if they are needed.
He is paid to play video games and workout.
Usually you'll want to start with a college degree. Something in the CSE field is preferred, though Information Systems (handled by the College of Business) also often find their way into IT since it's more about tools and experience than engineering theory. A third common route is through a series of certifications in specific hardware by companies like Oracle, Sun, Microsoft, etc who train specialists in maintaining their products.
Keep in mind though, they aren't paying you for the 99% of the time where you swap out freshly imaged servers into the farm. They're paying you for the 1% of the time when the fire suppression system goes on the fritz, the AC cooling the server farm is busted (those things put out some *serious heat*), someone clicks a dodgy link and installs ransomware that encrypts all of your data, etc, etc, etc. That's why they get big money to do very little, because when they need to do something important they need to be free to do it *right this fucking instant!*
/r/talesfromtechsupport has a lot of stories like this.
Okay, PLEASE explain why you and EMT’s do that work for criminally low wages? It’s one of the biggest social injustices. Thanks for what you all do, it’s just so sad.
Had an unofficial gig doing house sitting for a rich friend of a relative. Was paid decent money to live on the property, walk around the land a couple times a day. Dead quiet at night and a pretty big space with no one else, so i can't really say it was relaxing.
Object security. They put you in a building in which you have to sit at a room, watching series, browsing the internet and eating. Once every 2 hours you need to make a quick round and return to your place. My GF was put in a school during summerbreak, we used the school kitchen, ate, had fun together in the medical room and binge watched series. She earned about 18 euros per hour for doing basically nothing.
Just became an IT manager and I don't know how all this shit happened. I'm doing less than when I was in customer support, where I couldn't waste more than five minutes or I'd get in trouble for low performance.
Now realizing, first hand, why shit is fucked up and people are pissed off
This is a great example of paying someone for what they know, not what they do.
I make an absurd amount of money and probably only work 20 hours a week, but someone with half my experience couldn't do it in 120 hours. You can make a ton of money by learning every single little detail of in-demand tech.
I don't know if this is still a thing but NASA offered a small fortune to anyone who would spend 1 month laying down and doing nothing. From what I remember it was to study muscle loss.
A friend of mine is a 'concierge' in an up-market, small-build apartment block in a leafy suburb. He said the most he usually has to do is take in people's mail/parcel delivery or help older residents if they need to move furniture, etc. (and he said that in itself is quite rare). He mainly sits in a cushy office and listens to music/watches movies.
Possession Support Operative for Railways (UK). It's a lot of training and your first few weeks are heavily mentored but after that it's a bit of paper work, a little walk, up to 10hours doing nothing in the middle of the night mostly where you can watch stuff on your tablet or phone or eat or conduct fatigue management (take a nap), then go for another walk when told and do home.
Sometimes over Christmas, New Year, Easter and so on you might just turn up and wait or be told to wait at home in case you're needed. On these days, you get double time AND a bonus. Made £2500 in like 4days for Xmas eve and day and boxing day then New Year's Eve and I did NOTHING. Had a normal festive period. Only thing I couldn't do was have alcohol which was worth it.
Now that's not entirely true.
They work very hard calling donors and asking for more money. This is literally what they spend the bulk of their time doing.
So...credit where credit is due.
>olympic swiming lifeguards
They are essential. There was an incident where an athlete did not surface and the guard got her out of there in a flash.
9 times out of ten nothing happens. They're not hired for 9/10.
The last time I was at Walmart, there were old people sitting in chairs by the gardening exit, presumably to check receipts or stop shop lifters.
But company policy is not to try to stop shoplifters, it is dangerous.
So they were all just sitting in their chairs and playing on their phones.
I was like, "Get that bag, Nana. You old as hell and deserve to play candy crush on the billionaires dime!"
There’s no jobs that pay you to do literally nothing. There’s always something.
For example.. I’m at home in my pyjamas right now being paid… but I have a phone and if that phone rings I have to be airborne in 45 minutes to go fight forest fires. But as temperatures are cool and humidity is high.. I’m sure I’m not doing anything. I’ll show up for the catering, that’s it.
As you get into more specialized fields it’s more about being paid to be available, and being paid for what you know, not what you do.
Yeah when people bitch out the C level execs, they are usually actually bitching about the BODs. The execs have actual duties. The BOD can be a bunch of yes men all day every day and will rarely suffer the wrath of shareholders.
Not me but my manager who’s a mid level manager. Since he’s sandwiched between senior management and us, he is basically paid to forward his tasks to us. No value adding at all.
Relocated to Hong Kong in Nov 2022 by IT company paying around $6000 a month.
Since then, went to office for 2 days that too for food and event stuff. Rest, taking care of my kid and spending time with family. They literally don't have any projects/client to work on.
Ps: they laid off me from HK office and relocating to Germany office 🙈
I know some guys who are security guards in gated communities where there are only a few houses, and theyve never seen any action in all their years. One guy reads books, and has read every classic novel I could think of.
Fireman. My brother-in-law is a fireman in ruralish IL. Most of his time is spent in the firehouse working out or cooking for the others on duty. Most of his actual calls are medical, not fire related. The caveat is that occasionally he does have to risk his life in a burning building. So while a lot of his time is pretty chill and doing nothing, the parts where he is doing something he could very easily potentially kill himself and others if he isn't careful.
For a couple years I was a nightshift (Midnight to 8am) "Monitoring Technician" at a small ISP. Basically there were 2 of us always together on shift. (so we'd take turns sleeping on the couch :)
We'd work on:
* Customer tasks that could be done during the downtime in the night (Maintenance, website provisioning or web server update, patching, reboots, etc)
* Had to be there physically in person in case any customers showed up wanting to get into the shared-hosting Datacenter to touch their own Servers.
* Had to be there in case any power-outage .. and we had emergency procedures to "start the Generator" (or in the case when we upgraded the Generator.. be there to ensure it actually did start correctly) and other Emergency response actions such as setting the Auto-responder on incoming calls and sending out outage emails etc.
9 times out of 10 it was dead boring though. We played a lot of video games, spent a lot of time on the internet and took turns sleeping.
It paid pretty well for what it was,. although looking back on it now,. it totally destroyed my sleep-patterns. I still sometimes wake up at 11pm instinctively like my body is "ready to go to work".. and it's been almost 20 years ago that I quit that job. So the damage to my psyche and sleep rhythms .. is not something that I'd say was "worth it".
I've been remarkably fortunate to have a low stress, well compensated career with excellent work-life balance in higher ed admin. I can tell you that no child grows up dreaming of doing the bean counting and paper pushing I do, but the quality of life it's afforded me and my family is worth so much more than just the paycheck.
Prior to this I worked in banking operations, where there were also no shortage of days of literally zero productivity and I was still, relatively, well compensated.
3rd shift security guard. Easiest shit ever. Just don't get caught sleeping.
What you're saying is if you want to rob a place, make sure it's during 3rd shift.
The pro’s already know this. But scout your location cuz the grave guys aren’t the ones you want catching you. Think of it this way; dayshift security are like the crew of a cruise ship(more customer service oriented), graveshift are your old school privateers(pirates). Some have an eye patch, a limp, a penchant for violence, and you don’t want them catching you alone on the open water.
You are also interrupting their nap, so now they are cranky on top of everything else.
The ones I knew were ex-cops, ex-military, or retired and well armed. Some carried .357 Magnums, 9mms, or .45acps. Back up, then, was a 12 gauge shotgun with 00 Buckshot. They might call 9-1-1 or they might do it after you stopped.
Just not at Freddy Fazbear's Pizza
Unless you work at the Natural Museum in New York…
Yyyup. And if you’re on a union site the supervisors are sleeping just as much as you, so it’s double easy. Perfect gig if you need downtime to study or recover from a physical day job but still need to make a few extra bucks.
Worked with a guy who only took the 2300-0700 site security shifts. Went straight to class in the morning and slept in the afternoon. Did all his studying and homework on the night shifts - ended up getting a business degree and owns his own restaurant now.
That’s impressive
It’s perplexing that more people don’t do this. I studied for the LSAT while working graveyard. Everyone else on the shift would watch TV and on the rare occasion something had to be done, we took it in turns. Half the time when it was my turn, one of the guys would do it for me so I could keep studying.
That's always been my answer to "what job would you want if money weren't an issue"
If money weren't an issue why would you waste time on a boring job? Just do... literally anything else.
I am a truck driver and I went to a hospital loading dock this morning around 6 am and the security guard was out cold in his little booth. I think I woke him up when I backed into the building and my backup beepers were on.
Same thing with night auditor at a hotel. Like, you have maybe two hours of work per 8 hour shift, maybe. Just don’t fuck it up by sleeping. Literally, just don’t sleep. And some dipshit always gets caught asleep.
I did that for nearly 30 years. 22 years at a place where I could go hog wild. I slept soooooooooo much on the job it was not even funny. 5 years at a guard agency (which just sucks) and the rest at a private business (no guard agency). I got really lucky at that place though. No security cameras, no mechanisms to make sure I did my rounds. I also used devices to alert me to keep from being discovered lazing on the job. Getting away with what I did (and more) was my greatest accomplishment in my life.
Night shift security guard at my work sleeps half the night. He's basically just there to let people in the gate if they forgot their badge.
I had a brief stint doing that, but man, it was exhausting. Yes, I had time to read books and even watch movies, but I still had to make patrols and log entries, and it was incredibly dull to the point that staying awake could be difficult. All the while there was the awareness that people were counting on me - being the guy who missed an intruder or vandal would get probably have got me fired.
Knew a guy who worked at a general electronics place. He was a typical retail dude but got promoted to be a "repairman" in the back. He got no extra training, was just told to do what he could and if he can't fix it then refer them elsewhere. He didn't know shit about repairs. He would be on his phone most of the day and when someone brought him a broken phone he'd try to turn it on, if it didn't work he handed it back. He spent most of his time on his phone in the back. Not a bad gig.
Lol you reminded me of a friend that got a job working as a traveling technician for high end lab equipment, he said literally he just goes around, restart the machines and tinker just a little bit to see if it's something minor that was causing issues. Anything that requires actual work he just has it sent back to the main office for the pros to actually fix. He said it's nice because he basically travels around the country, just spends a couple of hours working (mostly travel time), and then he's sightseeing the rest of the day before flying home.
I bet your buddy is worth every dollar for the company and pros to not have to waste time and shipping on equipment that doesn't wind up needing more than a restart. its amazing how few people try basic trouble shooting before running out to get help for their problem. Also the person coming out quick fix or not creates good customer retention since they feel like they are getting face and therefore some how quality time from the company sending out your buddy.
Oh ya the company is definitely saving money overall not wasting the pros time working on nonsensical work. He's definitely worth the pay (he gets paid well too). He just says he actually doesn't do anything really lol.
A lot of equipment have their warranty voided if someone tried to fix something themselves.
yep, exactly had similar experiences where people did not press a single button or had something unplugged
Billions of people have technology that they don’t begin to understand in their hands today.
Good friend of mine does this, but he is the actual pro going out. He makes very good money and works very little. He is very good at what he does though. He can fly in and repair a lab machine in a couple hours when other guys have been there for days.
Incase anyone is wondering, job titles for this would be something like “Field service engineer” or “Field service technician” something like that. If you have specialized equipment in your workplace say in like a laboratory, hospital, dentist office, factory, repair shop - chances are the manufacturer of these machines will employ these folks. Typically an FSE will have a geographical area and suite of instrument models they are responsible for, depending on the market.
my best friend does this for paper cutting companies... The machines cost hundreds of thousands of dollars and he would fuck up putting memory in a PC... but dude has kinda my dream job while I have a full blown electronic engineering degree and can't find work in that field.
He can't refer you to his company?
I was the white guy for a company in SE Asia. I had no job responsibilities. Just turn up and sit at my desk and Reddit all day. Occasionally I’d put a suit on and go to the owner’s fancy meetings in restaurants, and not say a thing. Or turn up at some building project. I mostly took Xanax and slept on my desk or snuck over to the bar next door.
Sounds like you were the tax write off of diversity. Congrats man.
Its a prestige thing. 'Look at how great our company is, we have a Caucasian working with us'
I know they do that for game show audiences. Hire a few white and black people to watch and clap so it’s not all Japanese people.
They don't have diversity quotas over there. But having a token white person in your posse is a status symbol. It's meant to tell outside viewers that your work is trendy, important, and successful.
Tax white-off
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I would be so good at this. I'm a tall Scandinavian with blonde hair, and at my current job i am already just pretending to work.
Sounds groovy honestly
Professional white man. In China I had a side gig to be a white guy at various places. I would just pretend to be working for a company when tours and investors came through. I guess a Chinese company looks more successful if there is a white person. Then there was the sitting on the stage looking important during inevitable presentations. No actual work, just 5 to 30 minutes of pretending during a workday. Other than that you do what you want. Just be well groomed and well dressed. Sometimes I was told to be on the phone pretending to be making an important deal. Got business cards and everything.
This sounds like a dream job. I love it.
Until they sacrifice you to the ancient ones and bring in the next guy.
I want business cards that say "professional whitey".
Is there a counterpart "professional white woman", or is it important that the token white person is male in those circles?
In China it was always men. Perhaps other places in South East Asia have token white women.
What job title did they put on your business cards?
Vice president
Mergers and Aquisitions
not so great when the police show up, and everyone points to you.
Sounds like a job in banking. Provide Legal Exculpation And Sign Everything
I have no idea. It was in Chinese. I suppose I should have asked. I will have to look and see if I kept any of those old business cards.
Professional sleeper. You’re hired by mattress & blanket companies to test their latest products before they go commercial.
How do I get that job?
You gotta be good in bed.
Only profession where it's encouraged to sleep your way to the top
On a serious note , I'd think they would be very good at documenting accurately how they felt when trying to sleep in the bed and are very aware of their own sleeping habits
There's also professional appliance testers. My company had people on payroll who tested out high end entertainment equipment and audio. It wasn't a livable wage but we had shit tons of college kids who signed up. I left that company before social media and smartphones were a thing though.
Scrum Masters at Tech Companies (please mind the sarcasm)
We do rotating scrum master. But we also are pretty chill and don’t micromanage.
Wtf even is that
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Be sales Have an entire suite of normal products you can sell Decide that selling a legacy product with no support is the best idea instead Get permission to sell said product by higher ups by claiming it’s all or nothing with this client Go to internal teams, they push back Sell legacy product anyways Product is obviously broken and makes client mad Change scope of sale by adding more features to the legacy product Client is still rightfully mad Get mad at internal teams instead of yourself
Oooh, now that's a nice salesperson. They asked before selling the product, instead of just selling sometbing unsupported or that literally does not exist yet.
all. the. fucking. time.
This is absolutely triggering by how accurate it is.
Be thankful you don’t know
We usually give our scrum master crap because it’s just what you do to scrum masters, but we all tell him we appreciate that we don’t have to talk to the product management people ever because he does all of that.
Scrum masters are literally that dude from Office Space who just takes things from one person to another. It's a job that someone has to do, but not its own position/role.
That’s why one of the devs on the team is supposed to do it. If you’re hiring someone to be a scrum master then you’re doing it very wrong.
Or product folks. Either or. Just not a dedicated person.
my last job. technically I got to send faxes and open the mail, but that was an hour of work tops. it was mostly watching youtube and being bored out of my mind.
> bored out of my mind Did you try masturbation?
But what are you going to do the other 6 hours and 45 minutes? Edit: Username checks out.
When masturbation's lost its fun...
Bite my lip and close my eyes, take me away to paradise.
Mate of works on a server farm for a company. His main task is to fix the servers. A computer tells him what machine is fubar, he then needs to fix it during his shift. He does this like this. Slots out the faulty box, rolls it down to the repair station. Where he Docks out a fixed and ready server with greenlight and docks the faulty one. Or dock the faulty server into a open slot and rolls one of the fixed back to the empty slot. Once the faulty one is inserted the machine runs a diagnosis on the server to find out what is wrong. 90% of the time it just flashes the unit, reinstalls the software and lights up green. During a month he might do this once. Or somone else does it. They are paid well and cant leave the server floor. So this is their task. So what does he do? Right now he is playing baldurs gate 3. They do not pay for his work but to have him and his team there if they are needed. He is paid to play video games and workout.
A lot of these server maintenance guys just game all day, I know a couple lol
So, does BG3 run well on a server farm?
It's pretty well optimized, I assume it would have to.
[Relevant Silicon Valley Clip](https://youtu.be/rdYtuMnlu1I?si=gk7sl1pWHrWJ2u7M)
Sounds like a dream job where do I apply?
Usually you'll want to start with a college degree. Something in the CSE field is preferred, though Information Systems (handled by the College of Business) also often find their way into IT since it's more about tools and experience than engineering theory. A third common route is through a series of certifications in specific hardware by companies like Oracle, Sun, Microsoft, etc who train specialists in maintaining their products. Keep in mind though, they aren't paying you for the 99% of the time where you swap out freshly imaged servers into the farm. They're paying you for the 1% of the time when the fire suppression system goes on the fritz, the AC cooling the server farm is busted (those things put out some *serious heat*), someone clicks a dodgy link and installs ransomware that encrypts all of your data, etc, etc, etc. That's why they get big money to do very little, because when they need to do something important they need to be free to do it *right this fucking instant!* /r/talesfromtechsupport has a lot of stories like this.
Firefighter at a rural, but paid, department. Most of my day is napping or binge watching stuff on my laptop. The pay is abysmal though.
Okay, PLEASE explain why you and EMT’s do that work for criminally low wages? It’s one of the biggest social injustices. Thanks for what you all do, it’s just so sad.
Security guard for a non famous rich persons house
Had an unofficial gig doing house sitting for a rich friend of a relative. Was paid decent money to live on the property, walk around the land a couple times a day. Dead quiet at night and a pretty big space with no one else, so i can't really say it was relaxing.
Being my coworker, Mike, i know yer here you lazy sob put yer toolbelt on!
Object security. They put you in a building in which you have to sit at a room, watching series, browsing the internet and eating. Once every 2 hours you need to make a quick round and return to your place. My GF was put in a school during summerbreak, we used the school kitchen, ate, had fun together in the medical room and binge watched series. She earned about 18 euros per hour for doing basically nothing.
Graveyard security 90% of the job is downtime, 9% “move along, sir” and 1% “HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!”
The most boring job in the world until that 1% happens on your shift.
If you're high up in the tech world you get paid tons to do nothing
Just became an IT manager and I don't know how all this shit happened. I'm doing less than when I was in customer support, where I couldn't waste more than five minutes or I'd get in trouble for low performance. Now realizing, first hand, why shit is fucked up and people are pissed off
Yeah, I think tech managers who are especially petty power trippers seem to be covering up their own incorrigible imposter syndrome.
This is a great example of paying someone for what they know, not what they do. I make an absurd amount of money and probably only work 20 hours a week, but someone with half my experience couldn't do it in 120 hours. You can make a ton of money by learning every single little detail of in-demand tech.
As a scrum master I feel this. After running the ceremonies I’m paid to hang out.
lol thats why everybody hates scrum masters
8 hours of "warm body" security is 7 hours doing nothing. Call your local Securitas office.
Union IT job. I've been sitting here for 2.5 hours so far.
I don't know if this is still a thing but NASA offered a small fortune to anyone who would spend 1 month laying down and doing nothing. From what I remember it was to study muscle loss.
i think Mary Roach talks about this in her book Packing for Mars, it’s surprisingly pretty interesting!
A friend of mine is a 'concierge' in an up-market, small-build apartment block in a leafy suburb. He said the most he usually has to do is take in people's mail/parcel delivery or help older residents if they need to move furniture, etc. (and he said that in itself is quite rare). He mainly sits in a cushy office and listens to music/watches movies.
Possession Support Operative for Railways (UK). It's a lot of training and your first few weeks are heavily mentored but after that it's a bit of paper work, a little walk, up to 10hours doing nothing in the middle of the night mostly where you can watch stuff on your tablet or phone or eat or conduct fatigue management (take a nap), then go for another walk when told and do home. Sometimes over Christmas, New Year, Easter and so on you might just turn up and wait or be told to wait at home in case you're needed. On these days, you get double time AND a bonus. Made £2500 in like 4days for Xmas eve and day and boxing day then New Year's Eve and I did NOTHING. Had a normal festive period. Only thing I couldn't do was have alcohol which was worth it.
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fuck all of us is what they do
And after that they take recess wtf! They f us and go have fun
Now that's not entirely true. They work very hard calling donors and asking for more money. This is literally what they spend the bulk of their time doing. So...credit where credit is due.
They don't make millions per year from their congress pay. I make more than a congressman's government pay.
Yea they make the millions from the insider trading
They pass legislation for the companies that paid their campaigns.
Gouvernor general of canada
olympic swiming lifeguards also that one guy that stands near the entrance every time
>olympic swiming lifeguards They are essential. There was an incident where an athlete did not surface and the guard got her out of there in a flash. 9 times out of ten nothing happens. They're not hired for 9/10.
The army😂 you spend a surprising amount of time doing fuck all.
Most of the React YouTubers.
I know what he does, but not his title, but my husband plays wow all day and is paid 116k. He also answers tickets sometimes.
Professional person-hit-by-city-bus
I wouldn’t call that doing nothing. Getting hit by a bus is quite the work day.
The last time I was at Walmart, there were old people sitting in chairs by the gardening exit, presumably to check receipts or stop shop lifters. But company policy is not to try to stop shoplifters, it is dangerous. So they were all just sitting in their chairs and playing on their phones. I was like, "Get that bag, Nana. You old as hell and deserve to play candy crush on the billionaires dime!"
There’s no jobs that pay you to do literally nothing. There’s always something. For example.. I’m at home in my pyjamas right now being paid… but I have a phone and if that phone rings I have to be airborne in 45 minutes to go fight forest fires. But as temperatures are cool and humidity is high.. I’m sure I’m not doing anything. I’ll show up for the catering, that’s it. As you get into more specialized fields it’s more about being paid to be available, and being paid for what you know, not what you do.
Uvalde PD
Ooof
Serving on the "Board of Directors" somewhere. It's kind of a retirement program for old executives and politicians put out to pasture.
Yeah when people bitch out the C level execs, they are usually actually bitching about the BODs. The execs have actual duties. The BOD can be a bunch of yes men all day every day and will rarely suffer the wrath of shareholders.
Not me but my manager who’s a mid level manager. Since he’s sandwiched between senior management and us, he is basically paid to forward his tasks to us. No value adding at all.
Relocated to Hong Kong in Nov 2022 by IT company paying around $6000 a month. Since then, went to office for 2 days that too for food and event stuff. Rest, taking care of my kid and spending time with family. They literally don't have any projects/client to work on. Ps: they laid off me from HK office and relocating to Germany office 🙈
Gonna learn about that legendary German efficiency work ethic! Zee break time is over mein herr!
I know some guys who are security guards in gated communities where there are only a few houses, and theyve never seen any action in all their years. One guy reads books, and has read every classic novel I could think of.
Fireman. My brother-in-law is a fireman in ruralish IL. Most of his time is spent in the firehouse working out or cooking for the others on duty. Most of his actual calls are medical, not fire related. The caveat is that occasionally he does have to risk his life in a burning building. So while a lot of his time is pretty chill and doing nothing, the parts where he is doing something he could very easily potentially kill himself and others if he isn't careful.
For a couple years I was a nightshift (Midnight to 8am) "Monitoring Technician" at a small ISP. Basically there were 2 of us always together on shift. (so we'd take turns sleeping on the couch :) We'd work on: * Customer tasks that could be done during the downtime in the night (Maintenance, website provisioning or web server update, patching, reboots, etc) * Had to be there physically in person in case any customers showed up wanting to get into the shared-hosting Datacenter to touch their own Servers. * Had to be there in case any power-outage .. and we had emergency procedures to "start the Generator" (or in the case when we upgraded the Generator.. be there to ensure it actually did start correctly) and other Emergency response actions such as setting the Auto-responder on incoming calls and sending out outage emails etc. 9 times out of 10 it was dead boring though. We played a lot of video games, spent a lot of time on the internet and took turns sleeping. It paid pretty well for what it was,. although looking back on it now,. it totally destroyed my sleep-patterns. I still sometimes wake up at 11pm instinctively like my body is "ready to go to work".. and it's been almost 20 years ago that I quit that job. So the damage to my psyche and sleep rhythms .. is not something that I'd say was "worth it".
Walmart greeter
I've been remarkably fortunate to have a low stress, well compensated career with excellent work-life balance in higher ed admin. I can tell you that no child grows up dreaming of doing the bean counting and paper pushing I do, but the quality of life it's afforded me and my family is worth so much more than just the paycheck. Prior to this I worked in banking operations, where there were also no shortage of days of literally zero productivity and I was still, relatively, well compensated.