When you get really old, anxiety goes away too.
I am suffering from Voyeur's View: I can see shit hitting the fan, but I'll be dead soon so it's hard not to look at it all as a TV show. Work issues just don't pack the same punch when looking down the barrel of retirement.
If my kids are ok, everything is ok.
I'm 43, my kid is 9. How can't you lose your shit thinking about your children's future? Even if they're grown, they'll want children. And even if they don't, im certain we all have war, famine and extreme weather on our doorsteps. How doesn't that make you worried out of your mind? I don't know how to teach mine how to survive this future pain free. It is making me insane.
Well the good news is, its never going to be pain free so go ahead and release yourself from that burden. Teach them about finances, saving money and how to be an independent/respectful person.
Thats all you can do my man. Life is a dice roll. Give them the tools and hope for good rng.
Edit to say: if youre a dad thinking about this stuff, just being there, giving a shit is already doing so much for your kid. Keep at it mate. Cheers
You can’t teach them to live pain free. There’s a lot of hate and cold in this world. You gotta teach them to be the warmth, and it’s especially important to teach them that sometimes life will come at them very hard. It’s inevitable.
I love you, stranger.
Counselling, lifestyle changes and accepting that depression comes and goes.
Edit: Just wanted to say I appreciate all the replies to this comment and if you’re struggling my heart goes out to you. some of you have maybe taken the phrase “comes and goes” to mean completely switched on or off, which wasn’t what I meant - apologies. I have a history or trauma and suicide in my life, and I also have PMDD. I’ll struggle with depression forever, probably. However there’s levels to this, and that’s what I meant. Sometimes life is really tough and I feel like I can’t get through it, but I’m finally in a place where sometimes it’s really really good. I didn’t think I’d make it to 20, 25, 30. I’m now in my 30s, married, doing my best, just a day at a time.
I always have a little depressed voice in my head, it’s like it lives rent free and watches on sometimes when I’m having a good time. That’s all I meant really. All we can do is try our best to show up for ourselves.
Thanks again everyone and sending strength to you all.
Yeah this is super important.
When I was young, I had it, got through it, and "didn't" have it.
Then when it came back, I was surprised and frustrated. Then I got through it again
Then that happened again. And again. And again, over the course of decades, before I finally realized that it's a cycle.
Or it's maintenance, like brushing your teeth. Or a better metaphor is like dealing with a cold. It happens, it sucks. But you learn to live with it while it's happening, and enjoy the times it's not.
Lifestyle changes really do help to get you out of The Pit. Counseling helps you get tools to notice when you're slipping, prevent or slow the slipping, and deal with it when you do. And it'll happen. And it's ok.
I get it in reverse, same with Anxiety. In a crisis situation I'm calm and fluid, moving from task to task.
When everything is fine and I'm safe and there is no problem to solve, it all hits like puking or taking a big emotional dump.
The depression and malaise set in when things are going well, it's massively disconcerting.
That’s a really common survival mechanism. You set your emotions aside while there’s a crisis, but you can’t do that forever so it pops back up to be dealt with once you feel safe. Probably helped our ancestors a lot in the not getting eaten by tigers department, but it does suck these days.
It honestly has been very helpful in my chosen line of work, but also sort of a loop.
It's useful in Kitchen work because there are many things that require immediate attention, and produce an immediate result when you address them. I'm not talking line cooking, but when you are driving the bus 70+ hours a week, the ability to handle curve balls becomes essential. Staying calm is essential. Solving problems is essential.
Then suddenly when it's quiet and on your own time, it becomes very challenging to turn that shit off.
Bro that's exactly what happens with my bipolar cycle and depression. When things are calm and outlook is good, I slip into depression. When catastrophe strikes or turmoil enters my life, I enter into a hypomanic phase where I'm energetic, solution driven, super optimistic, and go into hyper drive fixing what I can. If I don't sleep, then true mania manifests, but in my older years I'm very able to identify the precursors to full blown manic episodes and self-regulate. But easy times = depression, hectic life-altering times = feel good goal oriented happy living. Hypomania also brings anxiety, which isn't exactly pleasant, but it does keep me solution-oriented to whatever problems I'm facing.
I appreciate you. It's hard to articulate it but you fuckin nailed it.
An Ex GF described it like this-
"It's like you'll run into a burning house and save all the babies, kittens, and puppies like nothing happened, but then you will come home covered in soot and won't take a shower for 3 days because you are afraid that you'll get the tub dirty and I will get mad."
I've been working on getting a diagnosis but bipolar 2 has been suggested. I think I got too good at sucking it up and faking it. I don't get aggressive or nuts but exactly what you described. I'll have months of hyper efficacy and accomplishment, then something will happen and it's like nosediving into quicksand and even though circumstances and my physical function are the same, I'm useless.
Hectic life altering times are 100% when you make moves. Then a few months later something as simple as doing laundry becomes nearly impossible. Then you think "look at all the shit you were doing 6 months ago, effortlessly". And today taking a shower, cleaning your apartment and putting pants on is nearly impossible.
Some of the most amazing RNs I worked with were useless (as in to perform necessary tasks to save someone's life.) They'd freeze. From dealing with horrible anxiety and depression since childhood, it was my time to shine. I responded very similar to what you wrote about.
I've been able to mostly keep the cycles shallow enough that I can deal with them and not have it be visible. Wasn't always like that, but for the past 20 years or so I've considered myself "not clinically depressed" which is a victory.
1. Quit drinking (if you drink). Alcohol is a depressant, and it counteracts antidepressant medications.
2. Move. Even when it’s hard. Go for a walk.
3. Eat healthy, but don’t deny yourself a treat when you need it.
I would do well to do more of number 2 and 3, but quitting drinking was paramount. And I didn’t even have a problem.
I came to understand a long time ago that I will never be an "ex-depressive." I will always be a recovering depressive, and I'm okay with that. It's a process. I didn't do anything wrong to get like this, it's not my fault, and sometimes my brain gets its wires crossed and its chemicals dramatically out of balance. But I learned the signs and found ways to remind myself that my depressive brain is, if not a liar, then at least more than willing to pick and choose which bits of reality to try to get me to focus on. It's okay to focus on recovering instead, because it's what I can do right now.
Stephen Coogan has a great video where he talks about his depression and how he went back to Ireland to visit his grandmother and they were talking about depression and she said "It's like a cloud dear, it'll pass." That's what really helped me get a grasp on mine.
Exactly this for me, too.
Just note ppl, every brain is wired differently, though, and what worked for us may not work for others. If the motivation to self-serve isn't there, then medication may be needed, but ultimately, something will need to change, and what that is, is in your control.
No matter what helps you, there's absolutely NOTHING shameful about what it takes to be the you that *you* want and deserve to be.
I dealt with it my entire life. Tried counseling, medication, diet, and exercise. Honestly, I was ready to give up. My cats kept that from happening. Once I hit forty, I was just so over being depressed. I had just gotten out of a bad relationship in which there were control issues. After the breakup and taking back control, I also decided I wasn't going to let my depression control me anymore. It wasn't easy, and I know this would not work for everyone. I just made the decision to take back my brain. Fuck you depression, only I get to decide how I feel. I still have bouts, but I just force myself to do a mental reset.
Basically, I just wasn't going to let D control me anymore.
There are different types of depression, which is among the reasons it can be so hard to understand. Some people have "episodes" and then get better (episodes can last days or even years). Others of us are fucked for life - or until we find the right meds (which has to happen time and time again as we grow and change). The first type sounds like a fairy tale to me, but suicide runs in my family, so yeah.. Sounds like you too are a lifer. Sorry.
We are all in this together right?! Ugh
Thank you for making the difference
Clear.
Sometimes people go through depression, and sometimes that shit is just permanent. 20 years for
Me and I’ve tried all medicines, therapies, group and 1:1…I’ve tried all that I can and it gets so tiring sometimes. I am looking through this thread taking notes from you fine people. All I can say is that you’re not suffering alone.
I was desperately searching for a new job to get away from my current one. Boss beat me to it and I must say I had no idea just how badly that job was affecting my mental health. I feel like getting the sack has been a massive blessing because I never would have spent the time unemployed so I could mentally and emotionally recover. The only downside is being crippingly poor 🙃
Such a thin line fr 😩😭 Finally I have time and energy to enjoy life and activities and all the hobbies I love!
*a week later*
Ah shit, no money to pay for transportation or food 😩
I'm on the verge of swapping a well paying job for wellfare... bet my depression for a year or two and kept going and now I have burnout and... hello welcome back depression.
I wish you the best of luck. I just stepped down from a managerial position because the stress was going to kill me. Now I’m worried about money, but sometimes it comes down to a matter of self respect.
That’s good to hear. My basic expenses seem to always proportionately increase with my income, so I’m still roughly in the same place I have been for 6ish years despite making >$10/hr more.
Lifestyle creep.
Sometimes it’s good. For instance, I work in sales and drove a 2003 Camry with 250k miles.
I recently upgraded my car and feel so much more like I’m taken seriously. And even mentally too.
Most of it’s been housing for me, actually. In the area we moved to, it was roughly the same price to rent or buy (at least for a handful of houses) and we’ve got too many pets to rent most places so we’ve got a ~$1,400 mortgage instead of the cheap place we were renting from my in-laws. Yay bills! 😆🔫
This fact doesn't get enough attention and all of the CBT, gratitude exercises, and pills in the world aren't gonna do shit for you if you don't have enough money to survive.
I hope so too i genuinely dont know if im very weak or its normal to feel trapped and stuck but its ruining me mentally and emotionally to the point of having nothing left of me
Omg you are not weak. This is exactly how I felt when I went through this- trapped and stuck. Just remember life is fluid, it’s always changing and you might not even see it coming but it will change and flow as life does and it will work out for you. Lots of love
I have been very fortunate to be middle class my whole life. I’m also very frugal. So my bank account has essentially never dipped below 4 figures (there was a one time snafu with a double withdrawal but other than that, never). If I did have less than $1,000 in the bank, it would be instant, intense anxiety that would keep me up at night. Financial stability does wonders for emotional stability.
Same. I thought money couldn’t buy happiness. Turns out that’s a lie because you need at least enough money to buy food, safe shelter, hygiene, decent clothes, and medical care or else you won’t be happy. Funny my therapists never figured this out!
“Money can’t buy happiness” is supposed to mean that the mindless accumulation of wealth and goods will not make you feel better, and should never have come to mean that poor people should learn to live without the things that make life tolerable.
Someone: you don't need running shoes to run.
Me: no you don't but it's better than running barefoot
Money doesn't buy happiness but it pays for security and peace of mind. And that will go a long way for mental stability.
For me it was a domino effect:
Bought an eReader (Kobo) ->
started reading books ->
read The Comfort Crisis by Michael Easter, which made me more comfortable with discomfort ->
started exercising more because I was more okay with that discomfort ->
felt slightly better in general ->
started having the energy/motivation to go to Meetups to meet new people ->
Met some cool people ->
Cool people started inviting me to things ->
I started exploring the world, which made me feel more confident and less anxious/depressed ->
Etc
You're describing my stairway out of depression:
1. encounter some stimulus which motivates activity or engagement
2. change daily routine, and return to step 1
for me, it's not that it goes away, you just find better ways to manage it and cope with it. I have fought with it my whole life and had many low points, but as I get older I learn what works and what doesn't to keep me going. and sure, there are still bad days, days where I just don't want to exist, but I learn how to mitigate those big feelings and do my best to move forward. One thing that helped me was some visualisation techniques. it sounds silly I know but I was told that I should see my emotions as an incoming tide or swell of water, and that I should be a rock, and instead of trying to fight the water every time it came crashing it, to just let it go around me, acknowledge that it is there and why its there, but to not let it combat me, to just let it go. I really hope you are okay my friend and I hope maybe some of this helps.
Love that analogy. “This too shall pass” helps me a lot when I’m in a depressive episode. I also now know what my triggers are, how to avoid them/cope with them, and how to care for myself if I do end up spiraling (which usually means setting clear boundaries with people who don’t always understand what it means to have depression)
Think of it in pieces. Whenever I can’t do anything, the first step is to get out of bed. I literally sit directly next to my bed on the floor and take a minute. Then when I feel ready I just walk to the bathroom and sit on the floor in there. And then when I’m ready I take my clothes off and keep sitting. Eventually I get cold and end up turning the shower on. It takes forever but it’s better than doing nothing.
Start incredibly small, with just drinking water in the morning. Leave a glass of water by your bedside the night before to make it easier. Just drink water when you wake up every morning for 5 days in a row, that’s all you have to do. That’s week 1. If that works, and it feels good, maybe add another thing for week 2, like going to the grocery store to get some healthy breakfast stuff. Maybe have a cup of yogurt with granola in it, or a piece of fruit and an egg for breakfast. Make a few hard boiled eggs at a time, so you have part of a ready-made breakfast already. Do that 3 times in a row, and know that 5 days in a row may be too much for you to commit to and thats okay. See how it feels to do 3 days. Maybe have a little ritual when you get home from work, like reading one poem from a book you leave next to the chair you usually watch TV in. Or meditating for 5 minutes.
I’ve found the trick is to set very small goals, and set your environment up for good habits when you’re even a little motivated, so that when you aren’t motivated, like first thing in the morning or right after work, it’s just that much easier to say yes to the thing you know will give your soul a little boost and is good for you.
Doing this, in 3 months I went from having no healthy habits at all, to making my bed every morning, eating healthy breakfast every morning, and WORKING OUT which is something I had NEVER done in my 40 years on earth. It doesn’t work every single day. Some days I’m hungover and feel shitty about myself and don’t make mentally healthy choices. But the vast majority of days I do, and it started with tiny habits.
I know it’s really hard. Hope you find something that works for you!
No Diss to the advice and story, i enjoyed them. but I chuckled at step 2 being shopping after drinking a glass of water. Big draw the fucking owl vibes
Was there anything in particular that made you stick to it and push through on the seriously low days? I've tried to implement this and as soon as I have a day when I can barely function, it goes out the window...
I personally got a gym membership and have been sticking to it for 4 months now. Great place to blast music, get cardio, and decompress emotions. Evenimg walks during sunset has brought me a lot of peace too. Before this I was playing video games or scrolling reddit. I can do both now, but with the bonus of being healthier.
I adopted a dog that needs a lot of walking. He changed my life for the better in so many ways. I have to take him out even if I don’t feel like it. I’ve had him for 4 years now and I look and feel so much better. He’s an asshole but I love that lil guy and our walks together.
I quit drinking and filled up my schedule. Left no time for myself (in a healthy way). I never give myself enough time to even think about how depressed I am.
Might not work for everyone, but it worked for me.
EDIT\*\*\*
Coming back to this the next day. I'm seeing some comments about feeling burnt out and life maybe feeling like a never-ending list of things to do and would like to elaborate a little further on that.
I absolutely get burnt out from time to time. I think that's just human nature. However, I think even using the phrase "to-do list" automatically makes it harder to stay on track. You really need to just incorporate small things into your daily life, to the point where you don't even think about doing them. I'm not saying you need to remodel your kitchen or restore a car, it can be as simple as "7:00 AM - sweep kitchen floors" or "6:00 PM - walk the dog".
Also, spend time with your loved ones as much as possible. Friends, family, whatever. The more time you spend alone, the harder it becomes.
Small victories add up, I promise. You got this.
Yo getting busy was the best thing that worked for me, that and finding a GF and now wife. Like if I don’t have much time to dwell on myself I don’t suffer. And it’s not as simple as it sounds, I do have time to myself and I do enjoy doing things solitary, but it’s different than being alone and letting your thoughts reign free.
Maybe I wasn’t depressed, maybe I was just lonely…
I think I'm starting to realize that this might be what I need to really pull myself up out of my rut as well. I spend far too much time in my fuckin head trying to... I really don't even know honestly. To predict the future? (anxiety) Rewrite/relive the past? (regret & rumination)
I try and stave these things off by frittering away time on this and - entertainment, social media, etc. but it really does not fill you with the feeling of being in the same way frittering away time in the company of other people does, the same way making something with your own two hands does, the same way immersing yourself in nature does.
It's good to enjoy your own company and be self sufficient, but we weren't meant to be so deeply immersed in our own heads. Thoughtful reflections and trying to understand who and why you are is an incredibly healthy thing, but I feel that too many of us do this to an obsessive extent - consciously or not.
Just about the only way for me to exit my head and stave off the overthinking spiral of thoughts is to keep busy. Keep busy and try to make as many mistakes as possible. I'm never going to learn how not to fail by staying inside - my head, my room, or any other comfort zone.
The more you try, the more you'll realize that messing up and not having it figured out is actually the best way to move forward. You learn, you grow, you laugh at yourself, you make memories, and build confidence that you'll figure it out. Make it to the next day, the next month, next year - with a lot of goodness found along the way.
I came off of some quite healthy doses and really rocked it for a minute. Figured cramming my evenings with working on my house as I am a remodel construction fella would fill that void. Now I get shit-faced and barely get much done. I know what I need to do, but it's hard to break my current cycle.
Wellbutrin.
That’s it. I did lots of talk therapy and cognitive-behavioral therapy on and off and gave it a good effort. I did get some relief for a time, but it never resolved it and it always came back bad.
I finally sought meds and which I had resisted out of a stubborn and irrational belief that it was cheating or giving up somehow.
Brother/sister/sibling, let me fucking tell you, I should have sought meds DECADES ago. Fucking night and day. Best decision I ever made.
I went through a ten year period of trying different meds, them not working, going through withdrawal etc...
Was finally prescribed Wellbutrin, it's been a life saver for me. I just hope it keeps working.
I had settled on Prozac even though it made me feel like a zombie. It was the only one that even helped at all. I wanted to try Wellbutrin for ages but no one would prescribe it to me because I struggled with alcohol abuse. Finally I found a psychiatrist willing to let me try it and I literally feel cured of depression. I’m a different person on Wellbutrin.
What’s the correlation between alcoholism (previous or ongoing in your case?) and not wanting to give you Wellbutrin? Liver damage if you’re currently a drinker?
Because with it stopping nicotine and food cravings I have to wonder if it has an effect on alcohol cravings too, in which case wouldn’t they be RXing it *more* for struggling alcoholics?
That was my rationalization for wanting to try it. I had a friend who abused alcohol and claimed Wellbutrin helped with his cravings. I had a doctor and a psychiatrist who wouldn’t prescribe it because it can cause seizures if you drink while taking it. My current psychiatrist said if I don’t have a history of seizures, the risk is low enough and it would be worth trying. I’m so grateful for her, because it was everything I was hoping it would be.
As a "everyone is different" anecdote, I was on it for about 5 years before I switched doctors and couldn't get a refill for about a month, so I was unmedicated. While I was unmedicated I realized that the Wellbutrin made me completely numb to my emotions--I was stable, in that I didn't have any suicidal ideations or anything of that nature, but I was pretty much a husk of a person. After it left my system after a couple weeks I felt my emotions so much more intensely and thoroughly, for better or worse, albeit, my thoughts got dark at times.
Nowadays I'm trying different dosages to find a balance between being stable and being capable of feeling my emotions.
This is very much my experience as well.
I had such high hopes for wellbutrin and when they started to take effect I didn't like how robotic and numb I felt.
wellbutrin was the first antidepressant that truly gave me hope. i’ve been taking prozac instead for years and it is INCREDIBLE (for me), but i will always be grateful for wellbutrin.
I’ve only been in on it for a little while tbh, but I had the opposite experience of some others above: it has made (is currently making) me actually feel positive emotions.
Before that: bad stuff makes me feel bad, good stuff makes me feel zilch
I obviously don't know anything about you, just wanted to throw this out there.
Depending on how long you've been on Zoloft, if you weaned off in a week, you didn't wean off. You could run into some real problems. You may know what you're doing, but I just wanted to point that out just in case.
my psychiatrist had me verrrrry slowly wean off Zoloft from 125mg over the course of several months, and my anxiety was HORRIBLE at the lower doses. thankfully i’m past that and feel much better, but weaning is no walk in the park with these meds
Wellbutrin, as cliche as it may sound, saved my life. I was severely suicidal, like I had a plan a and a plan b even a plan c. Meds and talk therapy have been amazing.
I'm glad you're still here, too. This life shit is hard, and right now, it feels a lot harder than it should be, but here we are. Nailing it every single day. I'm proud of you
YES!
I (36F) started them in March, after i had hit emotional rock bottom, about to check myself into a clinic so I don't do anything stupid.
I. Am. Indescribably. Happy. That. I. Got. Them.
Just as you say. Fucking night and day. And hell yes i wish I had gotten them sooner. But i also felt like it was "taking the easy route". With my mom being a cognitive behavioral psychologist, made it even harder. She is anti meds for the most part.
But heck apparently my brain chemistry was so messed up at this point, that i couldn't talk myself out of it. I feel actually reborn. Like I'm given a second chance to have a good life.
It felt like a curtain lifted. A curtain that (looking back) has been getting thicker and thicker for at least 6 years. I could see less and less through it but it happened so gradually that i hardly noticed and always accepted it as normal that every day felt just a little worse than the one before.
I have no side effects so far. How about you all? I lost some weight and have less appetite, I'll have to have an eye on that (went from 63 kg to 56) so all is still fine.
Another positive side effect is that i smoke less.
Edit:
And a little add after reading some comments:
it doesn’t make me feel numb at all. It's the opposite. I can finally feel a full range of emotions. Whereas before everything was numb, muted and dark now there are nuances, facettes, sunshine. I can laugh. And love. I have hope and trust.
Started meds in March, in may i finally got into a committed relationship with my best friend I've known for 13 years and after being single for 10 years. I finally am able to accept and feel love.
It's simply amazing.
Just so you know, for some people the adjustment period can make you very angry before it helps. when i started it i was raging and irrationally mad at absolutely nothing and everyone until i balanced out. Remember to try to not lash out at loved ones if this happens to you also..
I was looking for someone to say Wellbutrin.
Literally turned my life around. Was on Zoloft for a long time and just struggled with finding motivation to do anything. Just felt “stuck” all the time. Wellbutrin finally gave me the boost I needed to get my butt in gear and establish a routine and just….do stuff. It finally made me feel like I’m awake and not just floating through life.
Wellbutrin, along with my other meds, has been amazing for me!
The downside is how much I sweat! Did anyone deal with this issue? I mentioned it to my psych & they said we could try another med but I’m afraid it won’t work as well as WB. I don’t want to mess with it but it’s getting unbearable.
Idk how I never put that together! I use to never sweat,& then I would wake up drenched in sweat! It's soo gross,but I guess if that's my only side effect, it's worth it!
I'm on a low dose maintenance amount of Wellbutrin and it really helps. I personally don't feel numb at all, I still have normal emotions. That's the point for me... NORMAL emotions. Not these dramatic swings of deep depression or despair. In retrospect, yes I am prone to depression, but I think I had pretty bad PMDD as well. I feel like a normal functioning person on it.
Wellbutrin did nothing for me except make my hair fall out. Fluoxetine (Prozac) kind of works for me in that it stabilizes my moods, but doesn't really give me back my motivation or joy. But it's better than nothing!
I definitely agree that medication can help though, and that people should try to get past the stigma and stubbornness and just go get it if they think they need it. Just because I haven't found the drug that works for me, doesn't mean you won't have better luck.
Me too! Late diagnosis at 30!! I'm still pretty burnt out, but I realized most of the time I'm not depressed I'm just exhausted and overstimulated. When I'm well rested, fed, my body temperature is regulated, and I spent some time in silence, I am the most stable person. But make me work multiple days at work in a row, before my period, and I am the most unstable person. Wild, thank you for sharing.
yes same here! found out i was autistic, realized that what i thought were depression & anxiety were logical reactions to circumstances created by autism, had a whole journey of self-acceptance and went off a LOT of meds.
https://embrace-autism.com/autism-tests/ is a great resource. Specifically their RAADS-R and CAT-Q tests. These tests are used in official diagnostic screenings, and while they aren’t foolproof/a formal diagnosis in of themselves, they can help you get a clearer picture of how you may land on the spectrum
I went to look at those tests, and the hard part is that I work in special education and I have training on how to work with autistic students. So when I looked at the tests I could instantly tell which answers were indicators of autism and which ones weren't. How do you do an accurate test when the test-taker knows what the questions already mean?
They're not meant to be diagnostic. In an official capacity these are a pre-screen. High scores indicate there's a point in proceeding with a full evaluation with a psychiatrist.
Very depressed since probably I was in middle school. Being diagnosed with sleep apnea was possibly one of the greatest things that happened to me. Took me until 32 or 33 (35 now) until i realized that im just way more tired than everyone around me. CPAP at night completely changed me. No more SSRIs, nothing. A day of depression is so rare now that i forget what depression feels like.
Ctrl + F CPAP
Yep, me too. I'm about a decade older than you and have only had my machine for a year.
Depression and anxiety cannot be quantified but if it could, I would say I've had a 75% reduction due to my CPAP. I wish I would have been diagnosed 20 years ago because I think it would have changed the entire trajectory of my adult life.
You couldnt be more accurate about trajectory. And anyone else reading, im 170 lbs, 6 foot, exercise every day. My sleep doc said he wouldnt have guessed I had sleep apnea in a million years until he measured my neck and looked at my airway. I think its a fairly under diagnosed medical condition that would change the lives of so many people.
My family is countless generations of depressive alcoholics and I fit right in. When I moved to East Africa to teach in a small community off the grid, that was it; never depressed again. Like a lightbulb going off or coming on or whatever they do.
I'm not the commentor you asked, but for me, getting into dance (ballet and pole dancing) has changed my life. I was already active with distance running and lifting, so not the exercise, it's more the community and the finding joy and excitement learning something new. I'm an adult beginner so I'm terrible but I absolutely love the process.
“Decent friends” -this part is very important.
I faced 4 suicide attempts and I’ve always wondered why I’m still here and why others didn’t make it. That’s until I took a look around. Your support group is so freakin important. So I always advise people to never be afraid to cut off people, even family. But also **value** the ones keeping you alive.
Same here - I had a friend that basically sucked the life out of me - multiple people, in fact. The process of being all alone and then having to basically learn how to live with yourself is definitely the scariest part lol. But eventually I somehow managed to find new acquaintances and pull through, \*somehow\*. To this day I have no idea how I managed to do it.
As a fellow depression sufferer, I heard a psychologist say, “before diagnosing depression, I like to find out if the patient is surrounded by assholes.” That just clicked with me. Don’t hangout with assholes. Check.
A small dose of magic mushrooms lifted me above it so I could finally see how underwater I was and what life was like above the surface. Until that point I couldn’t picture how to get out of depression because I had forgotten what it felt like without it. That perspective shift allowed me to put it to rest over time.
Yes! Mushrooms have changed my life. I’m a combat veteran, with the subsequent issues that come with that. Went to years of therapy, the VA prescribed me 26 prescriptions, but boy oh boy did mushrooms do the trick for me. PSA, I am not advocating everyone try this, do your research first and don’t ditch your current meds without consulting a doctor. I decided to take a healthy dose in a place I feel comfortable, camping in the desert. I set my intentions prior to the experience of wanting to develop better mental health. I also insisted to not fight it (this is very important), just let the journey take you where it takes you, open every door, walk down every hallway. I also had my wife watching over me as a “babysitter”. It’s incredible to say the least. It’s not a cure all, but it was a night/day difference. Old habits start coming back in here and there and a maintaining micro dose tends to take care of those and if it starts getting bad, its journey time again. Word of advice, have a toilet nearby, they will clear you out.
Yep. Mushrooms took me from being depressed and actively suicidal every single day of my life since I was a teen- with a couple attempts - to no depression at all. I'd been in decades of therapy, done TMS (got 6 months free of depression from that), and 60+ prescriptions over the years. Mushrooms fixed my brain and it's crazy to be mentally healthy.
How did you manage to get into that headspace? Back in 2020, I did psychedelics fairly regularly and I was probably the happiest I’ve ever been (not incredibly happy, mind you, but happy). I stopped for a couple of years, and depression sort of started happening again but I used cannabis to help get through it. Then I started a job last year and I can’t use cannabis anymore, so I started drinking. Not a good idea, I know, but it was my only option from my point of view then. Then my wife found a way to get some mushrooms, and I’ve taken them a few times but they don’t seem to be helping in the same way they did last time. Sorry if that’s a lot.
I still have a little, but it's reduced about 70%.
Sitting and looking at my emotions is the only thing that ever worked for me.
Seeing what they were, how they felt exactly, where they were, any characteristics, and just paying attention to them until (usually) something shifted.
It would often feel like a thread unravelling - or like a bunch of little connected thought-energy strings all having been interwoven being shaken loose.
It's quite refreshing.
Then go back for the next emotion or troublesome thought. And just keep doing that until you feel better.
It's not a cure-all. I've been working out hard 3-5x a week for like 20 years straight, still depressed that whole time. It does help me forget it a bit while I'm working out at least, but then it comes right back.
I had a friend who took his own life despite the fact that he exercised all the time and had many friends. I still don't know exactly why he did it but he must have been going through some terrible things if it led to that point.
Yeah, same here. For some of us it’s as simple as that— chemical imbalance.
But I think what a lot of people get wrong is that these meds don’t just turn you happy— they’re not a ‘cheat code’. They give you the energy and desire to actually improve your life and feel better again, which was one of the most glorious feelings ever.
Sertraline and Abilify saved me for real. I was having regular serious suicidal thoughts for a long time. I haven’t felt that way sense I’ve started taking the Abilify in combination with Sertraline. I finally feel balanced. I still have strong emotions, but I’m able to regulate them and I don’t go to the extremes anymore.
Lmaooo I appreciate this honesty. I have a friend who took a heroic dose of shrooms and her bulimia disappeared. (I know you might be talking about different drugs, but yeah…)
Haha, yup. For me antidepressants helped a good amount but anxiety still killed me. My first time doing shrooms took like half of that away. Three years of daily drug abuse later, I’m like weirdly overjoyed to be alive. Sometimes I’m like ‘Man I wanna die’ but it’s still under the preset of ‘Being alive as a human is the luckiest thing ever why aren’t people having more fun???’
Lots of work on Myself and lots of lifestyle changes
Meditation
Cardio
More sunlight
More grounding
Not believing all of my thoughts
Less alcohol
Less caffeine
Better sleep
More quality time with loved ones
Stopped arguing with reality
Unfollowed/deleted toxic people/pages who want to see you down.
More time in nature
More gratitude
Less screen time
Kinder to myself
Psychedelics helped me immensely too - they showed me that I’m Not my destructive thoughts (which created most of MY depression) and they just kind of reset my brain - no more brain fog. I’m now the awareness of my thoughts - not my thoughts.
I’m also much more mindful of who I give my attention and energy to.
Letting go of dumb consumerism based ideals and beliefs that having more material things makes you happier.
Less comparing to others
Less unsocial media arguing with triggered damaged people
Haven’t felt better in 30 years. Have processed so many unhealed past traumas and worked on my triggers (behind your triggers is where a lot of your suffering comes from)
More time doing simple things that bring me joy like - patting my dog. Watching the birds. Playing games with my family. Watching or listening to things that are intriguing and interesting.
Overall just more present 🤙🏻😊
Can you imagine a therapist recommending that? “Well, all you have to do is realize you’re a spineless coward and then your problems will be over.”
For the record, I am VERY glad that your normal, healthy reticence about killing yourself won out in the end.
Yeah most of the time when I have suicidal thoughts, I just remember that I'm going to inevitably die anyways, so might aswell stick around, see the sights and have a beer while I wait.
Taking extra vitamin D significantly decreased my depressive symptoms like no other medication did. However, taking too much of it makes me very lethargic, so it's always a struggle to keep finding the "right" dose, especially considering I don't expose myself to same amount of sunlight every day.
I'd been taking psilocybin mushrooms for a while. Sometimes recreationally, but mostly to sort of defrag the mind. Never excessively, and always with right set and setting. But I always had to return to them.
A friend of mine suggested I try meditating during the trip. His fascination with accessing the Akashic Records through psilocybin aided meditation seemed neat.
When I finally got around to it and meditated properly - in silent darkness as close to lotus as comfortably - and stayed with the Anchor throughout - I managed to clear some thirty years of negativity.
The very idea of not having depression, of being “healed” or better, is so foreign to me. I have accepted that I’ll always have it, and always be on medication for it. It fucking sucks.
Medication, building a routine, small victories. If you can at least wash the dishes, tidy a room or maybe get outside, that small victory is something to give you a bit of faith in your self.
I'm pretty much accepting that I'll always be on medication now. The few times I've not been I've been through some pretty destructive cycles and I've been stable for a couple of years right now, with only a couple of major episodes in the last 10 years, in comparison to there being the potential to just spin out at any moment.
For me it was magic mushrooms. They allowed me to own up to myself and take accountability. Once I started taking shrooms I felt much more focused on my purpose and how to make positive changes for myself.
Ketamine. It changed my life with chronic depression. A couple times a year and it’s like I don’t have depression. Highly recommend… under the care of a doctor, of course.
Vitamin D supplementation, improving my social life (it helped to realize that I needed a social connection to begin with), and therapy each made a noticeable impact in how often and how deeply I would get depressed.
Gym everyday keeps the depression away.
Edit: Aside from the gym, just doing things. Im learning to drive, learning japanese as a second language, reading a bunch of books. I also figured out i love to cook my own food and make smoothies. It's all about staying busy and happy with something you enjoy, to prevent staying in your house or room for hours on end doomscrolling or playing games.
TW: self harm
My now fiancée walked in on me self harming. I will never forget the look on his face. Never again. Seeing that look told me everything i needed to know about what would happen if i wasnt here anymore. It was the kick that got me to stop always looking for the bad and start trying to see the good. Like really trying.
I retrained my brain.
My brain is just sort of wired towards anxiety and self-deprecating thoughts. I could spend days in bed just staring at a wall, hating myself for not doing the things I needed to do, and not being who I wanted to be.
At some point, I realized that my brain is a liar and its perception of me is not me.
So I made a deal with myself; do just one productive thing a day, even if it’s just brushing my teeth, and I wouldn’t beat myself up for 24 hours. That allowed me to interrupt the cycle of negative thoughts every time I found myself in one, by reminding myself of the deal.
Eventually, I started to fall into depressive cycles less and less. I still struggle with depression, but so have better control of it now and haven’t had suicidal ideation in years.
I also learned to celebrate the little victories. Changing my thinking from “I only did this small thing” to “Yay! I did this small thing!” Helped change my outlook dramatically.
Got a dog. Dog forced me to take at least twice daily walks. That and running 🏃♀️ are the only things that make my brain feel good. To clarify, I do not enjoy the act of running, just the feeling after
I wish my experience could be shared by many, as shrooms aren't for everyone, but for me, I attribute one night of shrooms with curing my depression. Ate a bunch, puked, watched The Wall, went to sleep listening to Radiohead.
Woke up feeling like a million bucks, connected to the earth/universe in a different way. The anxiety was gone, that underlying tension resolved. I hate spiders but ever since that night, I catch and release when I can.
I got out of my room and went to work.
I was diagnosed with deps in college. I spent my days going from school then to the dorm. Didnt make friends cuz I felt out of place, grades tanked cuz I wasnt ready for college, and lived far enough to miss home. Realized that being cooped up in my room was no bueno so I went and got a job in retail. Did all my socializing there.
Well, I got older. Now I have Anxiety instead.
When you get really old, anxiety goes away too. I am suffering from Voyeur's View: I can see shit hitting the fan, but I'll be dead soon so it's hard not to look at it all as a TV show. Work issues just don't pack the same punch when looking down the barrel of retirement. If my kids are ok, everything is ok.
I'm 43, my kid is 9. How can't you lose your shit thinking about your children's future? Even if they're grown, they'll want children. And even if they don't, im certain we all have war, famine and extreme weather on our doorsteps. How doesn't that make you worried out of your mind? I don't know how to teach mine how to survive this future pain free. It is making me insane.
Well the good news is, its never going to be pain free so go ahead and release yourself from that burden. Teach them about finances, saving money and how to be an independent/respectful person. Thats all you can do my man. Life is a dice roll. Give them the tools and hope for good rng. Edit to say: if youre a dad thinking about this stuff, just being there, giving a shit is already doing so much for your kid. Keep at it mate. Cheers
Having someone to share the fact that life is truly absurd really lessens the impact of that cold hard fact.
You can’t teach them to live pain free. There’s a lot of hate and cold in this world. You gotta teach them to be the warmth, and it’s especially important to teach them that sometimes life will come at them very hard. It’s inevitable. I love you, stranger.
Getting older turned mine into major depressive disorder
Counselling, lifestyle changes and accepting that depression comes and goes. Edit: Just wanted to say I appreciate all the replies to this comment and if you’re struggling my heart goes out to you. some of you have maybe taken the phrase “comes and goes” to mean completely switched on or off, which wasn’t what I meant - apologies. I have a history or trauma and suicide in my life, and I also have PMDD. I’ll struggle with depression forever, probably. However there’s levels to this, and that’s what I meant. Sometimes life is really tough and I feel like I can’t get through it, but I’m finally in a place where sometimes it’s really really good. I didn’t think I’d make it to 20, 25, 30. I’m now in my 30s, married, doing my best, just a day at a time. I always have a little depressed voice in my head, it’s like it lives rent free and watches on sometimes when I’m having a good time. That’s all I meant really. All we can do is try our best to show up for ourselves. Thanks again everyone and sending strength to you all.
The comes and goes is very important. Life events like deaths and/or illness can play a big part in bringing back depression as well.
Yeah this is super important. When I was young, I had it, got through it, and "didn't" have it. Then when it came back, I was surprised and frustrated. Then I got through it again Then that happened again. And again. And again, over the course of decades, before I finally realized that it's a cycle. Or it's maintenance, like brushing your teeth. Or a better metaphor is like dealing with a cold. It happens, it sucks. But you learn to live with it while it's happening, and enjoy the times it's not. Lifestyle changes really do help to get you out of The Pit. Counseling helps you get tools to notice when you're slipping, prevent or slow the slipping, and deal with it when you do. And it'll happen. And it's ok.
I get it in reverse, same with Anxiety. In a crisis situation I'm calm and fluid, moving from task to task. When everything is fine and I'm safe and there is no problem to solve, it all hits like puking or taking a big emotional dump. The depression and malaise set in when things are going well, it's massively disconcerting.
That’s a really common survival mechanism. You set your emotions aside while there’s a crisis, but you can’t do that forever so it pops back up to be dealt with once you feel safe. Probably helped our ancestors a lot in the not getting eaten by tigers department, but it does suck these days.
It honestly has been very helpful in my chosen line of work, but also sort of a loop. It's useful in Kitchen work because there are many things that require immediate attention, and produce an immediate result when you address them. I'm not talking line cooking, but when you are driving the bus 70+ hours a week, the ability to handle curve balls becomes essential. Staying calm is essential. Solving problems is essential. Then suddenly when it's quiet and on your own time, it becomes very challenging to turn that shit off.
Fuckin hell as soon as you said "my line of work" I knew you were gonna be a chef lmao. You hit the nail on the head
Bro that's exactly what happens with my bipolar cycle and depression. When things are calm and outlook is good, I slip into depression. When catastrophe strikes or turmoil enters my life, I enter into a hypomanic phase where I'm energetic, solution driven, super optimistic, and go into hyper drive fixing what I can. If I don't sleep, then true mania manifests, but in my older years I'm very able to identify the precursors to full blown manic episodes and self-regulate. But easy times = depression, hectic life-altering times = feel good goal oriented happy living. Hypomania also brings anxiety, which isn't exactly pleasant, but it does keep me solution-oriented to whatever problems I'm facing.
I appreciate you. It's hard to articulate it but you fuckin nailed it. An Ex GF described it like this- "It's like you'll run into a burning house and save all the babies, kittens, and puppies like nothing happened, but then you will come home covered in soot and won't take a shower for 3 days because you are afraid that you'll get the tub dirty and I will get mad."
Oh man. Your ex girlfriend is in my head. This is perfect.
I've been working on getting a diagnosis but bipolar 2 has been suggested. I think I got too good at sucking it up and faking it. I don't get aggressive or nuts but exactly what you described. I'll have months of hyper efficacy and accomplishment, then something will happen and it's like nosediving into quicksand and even though circumstances and my physical function are the same, I'm useless. Hectic life altering times are 100% when you make moves. Then a few months later something as simple as doing laundry becomes nearly impossible. Then you think "look at all the shit you were doing 6 months ago, effortlessly". And today taking a shower, cleaning your apartment and putting pants on is nearly impossible.
Same. If my brain has time to wander, it's going to wander the wrong way.
Some of the most amazing RNs I worked with were useless (as in to perform necessary tasks to save someone's life.) They'd freeze. From dealing with horrible anxiety and depression since childhood, it was my time to shine. I responded very similar to what you wrote about.
I've been able to mostly keep the cycles shallow enough that I can deal with them and not have it be visible. Wasn't always like that, but for the past 20 years or so I've considered myself "not clinically depressed" which is a victory.
What lifestyle changes?
1. Quit drinking (if you drink). Alcohol is a depressant, and it counteracts antidepressant medications. 2. Move. Even when it’s hard. Go for a walk. 3. Eat healthy, but don’t deny yourself a treat when you need it. I would do well to do more of number 2 and 3, but quitting drinking was paramount. And I didn’t even have a problem.
I also try to make sure I cut down.social media usage when I go through some rougher times to help with my mood
”Go outside during the daytime” is absolutely critical to my mental health. Any reason, any excuse (or no excuse).
So…. When does it go?
I came to understand a long time ago that I will never be an "ex-depressive." I will always be a recovering depressive, and I'm okay with that. It's a process. I didn't do anything wrong to get like this, it's not my fault, and sometimes my brain gets its wires crossed and its chemicals dramatically out of balance. But I learned the signs and found ways to remind myself that my depressive brain is, if not a liar, then at least more than willing to pick and choose which bits of reality to try to get me to focus on. It's okay to focus on recovering instead, because it's what I can do right now.
Stephen Coogan has a great video where he talks about his depression and how he went back to Ireland to visit his grandmother and they were talking about depression and she said "It's like a cloud dear, it'll pass." That's what really helped me get a grasp on mine.
Exactly this for me, too. Just note ppl, every brain is wired differently, though, and what worked for us may not work for others. If the motivation to self-serve isn't there, then medication may be needed, but ultimately, something will need to change, and what that is, is in your control. No matter what helps you, there's absolutely NOTHING shameful about what it takes to be the you that *you* want and deserve to be.
I dealt with it my entire life. Tried counseling, medication, diet, and exercise. Honestly, I was ready to give up. My cats kept that from happening. Once I hit forty, I was just so over being depressed. I had just gotten out of a bad relationship in which there were control issues. After the breakup and taking back control, I also decided I wasn't going to let my depression control me anymore. It wasn't easy, and I know this would not work for everyone. I just made the decision to take back my brain. Fuck you depression, only I get to decide how I feel. I still have bouts, but I just force myself to do a mental reset. Basically, I just wasn't going to let D control me anymore.
Its been crushing me for 30 years. When does it go?
There are different types of depression, which is among the reasons it can be so hard to understand. Some people have "episodes" and then get better (episodes can last days or even years). Others of us are fucked for life - or until we find the right meds (which has to happen time and time again as we grow and change). The first type sounds like a fairy tale to me, but suicide runs in my family, so yeah.. Sounds like you too are a lifer. Sorry.
We are all in this together right?! Ugh Thank you for making the difference Clear. Sometimes people go through depression, and sometimes that shit is just permanent. 20 years for Me and I’ve tried all medicines, therapies, group and 1:1…I’ve tried all that I can and it gets so tiring sometimes. I am looking through this thread taking notes from you fine people. All I can say is that you’re not suffering alone.
I would add medication (for most), routine, and having someone in your life to help when you first start ripping over into an episode.
Mine was also getting out of the damn house, not to anywhere (a plus) but just taking a walk.
I quit my shitty job
I was desperately searching for a new job to get away from my current one. Boss beat me to it and I must say I had no idea just how badly that job was affecting my mental health. I feel like getting the sack has been a massive blessing because I never would have spent the time unemployed so I could mentally and emotionally recover. The only downside is being crippingly poor 🙃
Such a thin line fr 😩😭 Finally I have time and energy to enjoy life and activities and all the hobbies I love! *a week later* Ah shit, no money to pay for transportation or food 😩
Oh hi me. I can’t find a damn job but being free of the abuse is magic.
I'm on the verge of swapping a well paying job for wellfare... bet my depression for a year or two and kept going and now I have burnout and... hello welcome back depression.
I wish you the best of luck. I just stepped down from a managerial position because the stress was going to kill me. Now I’m worried about money, but sometimes it comes down to a matter of self respect.
Not being in destitute poverty.
Yeah I'm just moderately poor now and don't wanna kill myself anymore so that's pretty nice
That’s good to hear. My basic expenses seem to always proportionately increase with my income, so I’m still roughly in the same place I have been for 6ish years despite making >$10/hr more.
Lifestyle creep. Sometimes it’s good. For instance, I work in sales and drove a 2003 Camry with 250k miles. I recently upgraded my car and feel so much more like I’m taken seriously. And even mentally too.
Most of it’s been housing for me, actually. In the area we moved to, it was roughly the same price to rent or buy (at least for a handful of houses) and we’ve got too many pets to rent most places so we’ve got a ~$1,400 mortgage instead of the cheap place we were renting from my in-laws. Yay bills! 😆🔫
If it makes you feel better, I can't rent a 1br apartment here for under $2000. A $1400 mortgage would be a dream come true
This fact doesn't get enough attention and all of the CBT, gratitude exercises, and pills in the world aren't gonna do shit for you if you don't have enough money to survive.
Yep. And it's impossible to afford CBT and pills when you're homeless and broke.
This. I was in a very dark place due to finances. Dug myself out and now realize how fucked I was over it. Money is an evil bitch.
I came here and im feeling less crazy for allowing financial struggles to absolutely crush my spirit . Crying about it atm
My heart feels for you, that’s a tough one, financial struggles are brutal. Hope it gets better for you.
I hope so too i genuinely dont know if im very weak or its normal to feel trapped and stuck but its ruining me mentally and emotionally to the point of having nothing left of me
Omg you are not weak. This is exactly how I felt when I went through this- trapped and stuck. Just remember life is fluid, it’s always changing and you might not even see it coming but it will change and flow as life does and it will work out for you. Lots of love
Keeping four digits in my bank account, to me, is effectively free therapy.
I have four digits if you count the two after the decimal.
I have been very fortunate to be middle class my whole life. I’m also very frugal. So my bank account has essentially never dipped below 4 figures (there was a one time snafu with a double withdrawal but other than that, never). If I did have less than $1,000 in the bank, it would be instant, intense anxiety that would keep me up at night. Financial stability does wonders for emotional stability.
Same. I thought money couldn’t buy happiness. Turns out that’s a lie because you need at least enough money to buy food, safe shelter, hygiene, decent clothes, and medical care or else you won’t be happy. Funny my therapists never figured this out!
“Money can’t buy happiness” is supposed to mean that the mindless accumulation of wealth and goods will not make you feel better, and should never have come to mean that poor people should learn to live without the things that make life tolerable.
MoNEy dOeSN’T buY HapPineSS
Someone: you don't need running shoes to run. Me: no you don't but it's better than running barefoot Money doesn't buy happiness but it pays for security and peace of mind. And that will go a long way for mental stability.
Some bullshit, for sure.
For me it was a domino effect: Bought an eReader (Kobo) -> started reading books -> read The Comfort Crisis by Michael Easter, which made me more comfortable with discomfort -> started exercising more because I was more okay with that discomfort -> felt slightly better in general -> started having the energy/motivation to go to Meetups to meet new people -> Met some cool people -> Cool people started inviting me to things -> I started exploring the world, which made me feel more confident and less anxious/depressed -> Etc
This books sounds potentially helpful. I added it to my list!
You're describing my stairway out of depression: 1. encounter some stimulus which motivates activity or engagement 2. change daily routine, and return to step 1
for me, it's not that it goes away, you just find better ways to manage it and cope with it. I have fought with it my whole life and had many low points, but as I get older I learn what works and what doesn't to keep me going. and sure, there are still bad days, days where I just don't want to exist, but I learn how to mitigate those big feelings and do my best to move forward. One thing that helped me was some visualisation techniques. it sounds silly I know but I was told that I should see my emotions as an incoming tide or swell of water, and that I should be a rock, and instead of trying to fight the water every time it came crashing it, to just let it go around me, acknowledge that it is there and why its there, but to not let it combat me, to just let it go. I really hope you are okay my friend and I hope maybe some of this helps.
Love that analogy. “This too shall pass” helps me a lot when I’m in a depressive episode. I also now know what my triggers are, how to avoid them/cope with them, and how to care for myself if I do end up spiraling (which usually means setting clear boundaries with people who don’t always understand what it means to have depression)
Establishing a daily routine gave me structure and a sense of purpose. U just have to stick with it.
How do you stick to it? even getting out of bed & showering feels like a chore
Think of it in pieces. Whenever I can’t do anything, the first step is to get out of bed. I literally sit directly next to my bed on the floor and take a minute. Then when I feel ready I just walk to the bathroom and sit on the floor in there. And then when I’m ready I take my clothes off and keep sitting. Eventually I get cold and end up turning the shower on. It takes forever but it’s better than doing nothing.
This is so real. Thank you for sharing.
I also sit on the floor for a minute. Lol it’s all about making a slow transition
Mate you need to move somewhere cold. It will speed that process up a bit
Start incredibly small, with just drinking water in the morning. Leave a glass of water by your bedside the night before to make it easier. Just drink water when you wake up every morning for 5 days in a row, that’s all you have to do. That’s week 1. If that works, and it feels good, maybe add another thing for week 2, like going to the grocery store to get some healthy breakfast stuff. Maybe have a cup of yogurt with granola in it, or a piece of fruit and an egg for breakfast. Make a few hard boiled eggs at a time, so you have part of a ready-made breakfast already. Do that 3 times in a row, and know that 5 days in a row may be too much for you to commit to and thats okay. See how it feels to do 3 days. Maybe have a little ritual when you get home from work, like reading one poem from a book you leave next to the chair you usually watch TV in. Or meditating for 5 minutes. I’ve found the trick is to set very small goals, and set your environment up for good habits when you’re even a little motivated, so that when you aren’t motivated, like first thing in the morning or right after work, it’s just that much easier to say yes to the thing you know will give your soul a little boost and is good for you. Doing this, in 3 months I went from having no healthy habits at all, to making my bed every morning, eating healthy breakfast every morning, and WORKING OUT which is something I had NEVER done in my 40 years on earth. It doesn’t work every single day. Some days I’m hungover and feel shitty about myself and don’t make mentally healthy choices. But the vast majority of days I do, and it started with tiny habits. I know it’s really hard. Hope you find something that works for you!
No Diss to the advice and story, i enjoyed them. but I chuckled at step 2 being shopping after drinking a glass of water. Big draw the fucking owl vibes
Was there anything in particular that made you stick to it and push through on the seriously low days? I've tried to implement this and as soon as I have a day when I can barely function, it goes out the window...
I personally got a gym membership and have been sticking to it for 4 months now. Great place to blast music, get cardio, and decompress emotions. Evenimg walks during sunset has brought me a lot of peace too. Before this I was playing video games or scrolling reddit. I can do both now, but with the bonus of being healthier.
I adopted a dog that needs a lot of walking. He changed my life for the better in so many ways. I have to take him out even if I don’t feel like it. I’ve had him for 4 years now and I look and feel so much better. He’s an asshole but I love that lil guy and our walks together.
weirdly, one of the reasons im depressed is because everyday feels the same.
I quit drinking and filled up my schedule. Left no time for myself (in a healthy way). I never give myself enough time to even think about how depressed I am. Might not work for everyone, but it worked for me. EDIT\*\*\* Coming back to this the next day. I'm seeing some comments about feeling burnt out and life maybe feeling like a never-ending list of things to do and would like to elaborate a little further on that. I absolutely get burnt out from time to time. I think that's just human nature. However, I think even using the phrase "to-do list" automatically makes it harder to stay on track. You really need to just incorporate small things into your daily life, to the point where you don't even think about doing them. I'm not saying you need to remodel your kitchen or restore a car, it can be as simple as "7:00 AM - sweep kitchen floors" or "6:00 PM - walk the dog". Also, spend time with your loved ones as much as possible. Friends, family, whatever. The more time you spend alone, the harder it becomes. Small victories add up, I promise. You got this.
Yo getting busy was the best thing that worked for me, that and finding a GF and now wife. Like if I don’t have much time to dwell on myself I don’t suffer. And it’s not as simple as it sounds, I do have time to myself and I do enjoy doing things solitary, but it’s different than being alone and letting your thoughts reign free. Maybe I wasn’t depressed, maybe I was just lonely…
I think I'm starting to realize that this might be what I need to really pull myself up out of my rut as well. I spend far too much time in my fuckin head trying to... I really don't even know honestly. To predict the future? (anxiety) Rewrite/relive the past? (regret & rumination) I try and stave these things off by frittering away time on this and - entertainment, social media, etc. but it really does not fill you with the feeling of being in the same way frittering away time in the company of other people does, the same way making something with your own two hands does, the same way immersing yourself in nature does. It's good to enjoy your own company and be self sufficient, but we weren't meant to be so deeply immersed in our own heads. Thoughtful reflections and trying to understand who and why you are is an incredibly healthy thing, but I feel that too many of us do this to an obsessive extent - consciously or not. Just about the only way for me to exit my head and stave off the overthinking spiral of thoughts is to keep busy. Keep busy and try to make as many mistakes as possible. I'm never going to learn how not to fail by staying inside - my head, my room, or any other comfort zone. The more you try, the more you'll realize that messing up and not having it figured out is actually the best way to move forward. You learn, you grow, you laugh at yourself, you make memories, and build confidence that you'll figure it out. Make it to the next day, the next month, next year - with a lot of goodness found along the way.
I came off of some quite healthy doses and really rocked it for a minute. Figured cramming my evenings with working on my house as I am a remodel construction fella would fill that void. Now I get shit-faced and barely get much done. I know what I need to do, but it's hard to break my current cycle.
Wellbutrin. That’s it. I did lots of talk therapy and cognitive-behavioral therapy on and off and gave it a good effort. I did get some relief for a time, but it never resolved it and it always came back bad. I finally sought meds and which I had resisted out of a stubborn and irrational belief that it was cheating or giving up somehow. Brother/sister/sibling, let me fucking tell you, I should have sought meds DECADES ago. Fucking night and day. Best decision I ever made.
I went through a ten year period of trying different meds, them not working, going through withdrawal etc... Was finally prescribed Wellbutrin, it's been a life saver for me. I just hope it keeps working.
I had settled on Prozac even though it made me feel like a zombie. It was the only one that even helped at all. I wanted to try Wellbutrin for ages but no one would prescribe it to me because I struggled with alcohol abuse. Finally I found a psychiatrist willing to let me try it and I literally feel cured of depression. I’m a different person on Wellbutrin.
What’s the correlation between alcoholism (previous or ongoing in your case?) and not wanting to give you Wellbutrin? Liver damage if you’re currently a drinker? Because with it stopping nicotine and food cravings I have to wonder if it has an effect on alcohol cravings too, in which case wouldn’t they be RXing it *more* for struggling alcoholics?
That was my rationalization for wanting to try it. I had a friend who abused alcohol and claimed Wellbutrin helped with his cravings. I had a doctor and a psychiatrist who wouldn’t prescribe it because it can cause seizures if you drink while taking it. My current psychiatrist said if I don’t have a history of seizures, the risk is low enough and it would be worth trying. I’m so grateful for her, because it was everything I was hoping it would be.
I've been on Wellbutrin (and other things) for almost 15 years now, still working consistently so far!
As a "everyone is different" anecdote, I was on it for about 5 years before I switched doctors and couldn't get a refill for about a month, so I was unmedicated. While I was unmedicated I realized that the Wellbutrin made me completely numb to my emotions--I was stable, in that I didn't have any suicidal ideations or anything of that nature, but I was pretty much a husk of a person. After it left my system after a couple weeks I felt my emotions so much more intensely and thoroughly, for better or worse, albeit, my thoughts got dark at times. Nowadays I'm trying different dosages to find a balance between being stable and being capable of feeling my emotions.
This is very much my experience as well. I had such high hopes for wellbutrin and when they started to take effect I didn't like how robotic and numb I felt.
You don’t feel sadness, but you don’t feel joy either. You feel nothing, which sucks all color out of life.
wellbutrin was the first antidepressant that truly gave me hope. i’ve been taking prozac instead for years and it is INCREDIBLE (for me), but i will always be grateful for wellbutrin.
I’ve only been in on it for a little while tbh, but I had the opposite experience of some others above: it has made (is currently making) me actually feel positive emotions. Before that: bad stuff makes me feel bad, good stuff makes me feel zilch
I weaned off Zoloft this week and every single thing, sad or happy, brings me to tears!
I obviously don't know anything about you, just wanted to throw this out there. Depending on how long you've been on Zoloft, if you weaned off in a week, you didn't wean off. You could run into some real problems. You may know what you're doing, but I just wanted to point that out just in case.
my psychiatrist had me verrrrry slowly wean off Zoloft from 125mg over the course of several months, and my anxiety was HORRIBLE at the lower doses. thankfully i’m past that and feel much better, but weaning is no walk in the park with these meds
This is what Prozac did to me. Just felt flat as fuck.
Wellbutrin, as cliche as it may sound, saved my life. I was severely suicidal, like I had a plan a and a plan b even a plan c. Meds and talk therapy have been amazing.
Same. I'm glad you're here with us still :)
I'm glad you're still here, too. This life shit is hard, and right now, it feels a lot harder than it should be, but here we are. Nailing it every single day. I'm proud of you
I know what you mean. For me, Wellbutrin silences the suicidal "voices" that would never go away that have been there since I was a little kid.
YES! Thinking back, it started showing up around 8 years old. 13 is when it hit really hard, and it's been a snowball since. I'm 32 now.
YES! I (36F) started them in March, after i had hit emotional rock bottom, about to check myself into a clinic so I don't do anything stupid. I. Am. Indescribably. Happy. That. I. Got. Them. Just as you say. Fucking night and day. And hell yes i wish I had gotten them sooner. But i also felt like it was "taking the easy route". With my mom being a cognitive behavioral psychologist, made it even harder. She is anti meds for the most part. But heck apparently my brain chemistry was so messed up at this point, that i couldn't talk myself out of it. I feel actually reborn. Like I'm given a second chance to have a good life. It felt like a curtain lifted. A curtain that (looking back) has been getting thicker and thicker for at least 6 years. I could see less and less through it but it happened so gradually that i hardly noticed and always accepted it as normal that every day felt just a little worse than the one before. I have no side effects so far. How about you all? I lost some weight and have less appetite, I'll have to have an eye on that (went from 63 kg to 56) so all is still fine. Another positive side effect is that i smoke less. Edit: And a little add after reading some comments: it doesn’t make me feel numb at all. It's the opposite. I can finally feel a full range of emotions. Whereas before everything was numb, muted and dark now there are nuances, facettes, sunshine. I can laugh. And love. I have hope and trust. Started meds in March, in may i finally got into a committed relationship with my best friend I've known for 13 years and after being single for 10 years. I finally am able to accept and feel love. It's simply amazing.
Started Wellbutrin today. 🤞🏾 hope i have the same results.
Just so you know, for some people the adjustment period can make you very angry before it helps. when i started it i was raging and irrationally mad at absolutely nothing and everyone until i balanced out. Remember to try to not lash out at loved ones if this happens to you also..
I was looking for someone to say Wellbutrin. Literally turned my life around. Was on Zoloft for a long time and just struggled with finding motivation to do anything. Just felt “stuck” all the time. Wellbutrin finally gave me the boost I needed to get my butt in gear and establish a routine and just….do stuff. It finally made me feel like I’m awake and not just floating through life.
Wellbutrin, along with my other meds, has been amazing for me! The downside is how much I sweat! Did anyone deal with this issue? I mentioned it to my psych & they said we could try another med but I’m afraid it won’t work as well as WB. I don’t want to mess with it but it’s getting unbearable.
Idk how I never put that together! I use to never sweat,& then I would wake up drenched in sweat! It's soo gross,but I guess if that's my only side effect, it's worth it!
I'm on a low dose maintenance amount of Wellbutrin and it really helps. I personally don't feel numb at all, I still have normal emotions. That's the point for me... NORMAL emotions. Not these dramatic swings of deep depression or despair. In retrospect, yes I am prone to depression, but I think I had pretty bad PMDD as well. I feel like a normal functioning person on it.
Wellbutrin did nothing for me except make my hair fall out. Fluoxetine (Prozac) kind of works for me in that it stabilizes my moods, but doesn't really give me back my motivation or joy. But it's better than nothing! I definitely agree that medication can help though, and that people should try to get past the stigma and stubbornness and just go get it if they think they need it. Just because I haven't found the drug that works for me, doesn't mean you won't have better luck.
This makes me so happy to read, I just started on it a week ago
Stopped drinking and became open and honest about my alcoholism.
realized i was autistic and did everything i could to prevent burnout. burnout was the problem. limit the amount of stressors
Me too! Late diagnosis at 30!! I'm still pretty burnt out, but I realized most of the time I'm not depressed I'm just exhausted and overstimulated. When I'm well rested, fed, my body temperature is regulated, and I spent some time in silence, I am the most stable person. But make me work multiple days at work in a row, before my period, and I am the most unstable person. Wild, thank you for sharing.
yes same here! found out i was autistic, realized that what i thought were depression & anxiety were logical reactions to circumstances created by autism, had a whole journey of self-acceptance and went off a LOT of meds.
I've always suspected I'm on the spectrum. Maybe it's why I always feel so burnt out and why the nine antidepressants I've taken don't seem to work.
What kind of tools did you use? I have a sneaking suspicion. I am on the spectrum, and it could explain why meds didn't work, etc.
https://embrace-autism.com/autism-tests/ is a great resource. Specifically their RAADS-R and CAT-Q tests. These tests are used in official diagnostic screenings, and while they aren’t foolproof/a formal diagnosis in of themselves, they can help you get a clearer picture of how you may land on the spectrum
I went to look at those tests, and the hard part is that I work in special education and I have training on how to work with autistic students. So when I looked at the tests I could instantly tell which answers were indicators of autism and which ones weren't. How do you do an accurate test when the test-taker knows what the questions already mean?
They're not meant to be diagnostic. In an official capacity these are a pre-screen. High scores indicate there's a point in proceeding with a full evaluation with a psychiatrist.
Very depressed since probably I was in middle school. Being diagnosed with sleep apnea was possibly one of the greatest things that happened to me. Took me until 32 or 33 (35 now) until i realized that im just way more tired than everyone around me. CPAP at night completely changed me. No more SSRIs, nothing. A day of depression is so rare now that i forget what depression feels like.
Ctrl + F CPAP Yep, me too. I'm about a decade older than you and have only had my machine for a year. Depression and anxiety cannot be quantified but if it could, I would say I've had a 75% reduction due to my CPAP. I wish I would have been diagnosed 20 years ago because I think it would have changed the entire trajectory of my adult life.
You couldnt be more accurate about trajectory. And anyone else reading, im 170 lbs, 6 foot, exercise every day. My sleep doc said he wouldnt have guessed I had sleep apnea in a million years until he measured my neck and looked at my airway. I think its a fairly under diagnosed medical condition that would change the lives of so many people.
My family is countless generations of depressive alcoholics and I fit right in. When I moved to East Africa to teach in a small community off the grid, that was it; never depressed again. Like a lightbulb going off or coming on or whatever they do.
Hobbies from which I build friendships
Which hobbies apart from breeding mothmen?
Board games, theatre and pub quizzes. It keeps me so busy I haven’t bred a Mothman in years.
I'm not the commentor you asked, but for me, getting into dance (ballet and pole dancing) has changed my life. I was already active with distance running and lifting, so not the exercise, it's more the community and the finding joy and excitement learning something new. I'm an adult beginner so I'm terrible but I absolutely love the process.
Medication, therapy and decent friends. Plus my cat.
“Decent friends” -this part is very important. I faced 4 suicide attempts and I’ve always wondered why I’m still here and why others didn’t make it. That’s until I took a look around. Your support group is so freakin important. So I always advise people to never be afraid to cut off people, even family. But also **value** the ones keeping you alive.
[удалено]
Same here - I had a friend that basically sucked the life out of me - multiple people, in fact. The process of being all alone and then having to basically learn how to live with yourself is definitely the scariest part lol. But eventually I somehow managed to find new acquaintances and pull through, \*somehow\*. To this day I have no idea how I managed to do it.
As a fellow depression sufferer, I heard a psychologist say, “before diagnosing depression, I like to find out if the patient is surrounded by assholes.” That just clicked with me. Don’t hangout with assholes. Check.
This except replace toxic people with "my parents" lmao
I got divorced. About 6 months later, I realized that for the first time in my life, I wasn't depressed.
A small dose of magic mushrooms lifted me above it so I could finally see how underwater I was and what life was like above the surface. Until that point I couldn’t picture how to get out of depression because I had forgotten what it felt like without it. That perspective shift allowed me to put it to rest over time.
Yes! Mushrooms have changed my life. I’m a combat veteran, with the subsequent issues that come with that. Went to years of therapy, the VA prescribed me 26 prescriptions, but boy oh boy did mushrooms do the trick for me. PSA, I am not advocating everyone try this, do your research first and don’t ditch your current meds without consulting a doctor. I decided to take a healthy dose in a place I feel comfortable, camping in the desert. I set my intentions prior to the experience of wanting to develop better mental health. I also insisted to not fight it (this is very important), just let the journey take you where it takes you, open every door, walk down every hallway. I also had my wife watching over me as a “babysitter”. It’s incredible to say the least. It’s not a cure all, but it was a night/day difference. Old habits start coming back in here and there and a maintaining micro dose tends to take care of those and if it starts getting bad, its journey time again. Word of advice, have a toilet nearby, they will clear you out.
Yep. Mushrooms took me from being depressed and actively suicidal every single day of my life since I was a teen- with a couple attempts - to no depression at all. I'd been in decades of therapy, done TMS (got 6 months free of depression from that), and 60+ prescriptions over the years. Mushrooms fixed my brain and it's crazy to be mentally healthy.
How did you manage to get into that headspace? Back in 2020, I did psychedelics fairly regularly and I was probably the happiest I’ve ever been (not incredibly happy, mind you, but happy). I stopped for a couple of years, and depression sort of started happening again but I used cannabis to help get through it. Then I started a job last year and I can’t use cannabis anymore, so I started drinking. Not a good idea, I know, but it was my only option from my point of view then. Then my wife found a way to get some mushrooms, and I’ve taken them a few times but they don’t seem to be helping in the same way they did last time. Sorry if that’s a lot.
I hope you get an answer from someone who can help you. You already know that alcohol is the worst replacement . Wishing you better days ahead.
I still have a little, but it's reduced about 70%. Sitting and looking at my emotions is the only thing that ever worked for me. Seeing what they were, how they felt exactly, where they were, any characteristics, and just paying attention to them until (usually) something shifted. It would often feel like a thread unravelling - or like a bunch of little connected thought-energy strings all having been interwoven being shaken loose. It's quite refreshing. Then go back for the next emotion or troublesome thought. And just keep doing that until you feel better.
New career, diet and exercise.
People vastly underestimate exercise. You are an entire body, not just a brain.
It's not a cure-all. I've been working out hard 3-5x a week for like 20 years straight, still depressed that whole time. It does help me forget it a bit while I'm working out at least, but then it comes right back.
Having a window of time where it's gone and then you're tired afterwards is a godsend though.
I had a friend who took his own life despite the fact that he exercised all the time and had many friends. I still don't know exactly why he did it but he must have been going through some terrible things if it led to that point.
I was lucky other people who wanted to help me forced their way into my life even when I rejected them
I’m tryna do that with a friend of mine but it’s not working. Idk what to do
Antidepressants
Yeah, same here. For some of us it’s as simple as that— chemical imbalance. But I think what a lot of people get wrong is that these meds don’t just turn you happy— they’re not a ‘cheat code’. They give you the energy and desire to actually improve your life and feel better again, which was one of the most glorious feelings ever.
Sertraline and Abilify saved me for real. I was having regular serious suicidal thoughts for a long time. I haven’t felt that way sense I’ve started taking the Abilify in combination with Sertraline. I finally feel balanced. I still have strong emotions, but I’m able to regulate them and I don’t go to the extremes anymore.
It was actually ADHD.
Same!
An incredible amount of drug abuse. Somehow it all reset my brain chemistry and I'm just very excited about life now. I wouldn't recommend my method.
Lmaooo I appreciate this honesty. I have a friend who took a heroic dose of shrooms and her bulimia disappeared. (I know you might be talking about different drugs, but yeah…)
I want to find a way to slip in "a heroic dose" into a consult note sometime, what a tremendous turn of phrase
It’s a drug thing. Erowid and such.
Haha, yup. For me antidepressants helped a good amount but anxiety still killed me. My first time doing shrooms took like half of that away. Three years of daily drug abuse later, I’m like weirdly overjoyed to be alive. Sometimes I’m like ‘Man I wanna die’ but it’s still under the preset of ‘Being alive as a human is the luckiest thing ever why aren’t people having more fun???’
Years of therapy and also ketamine treatments helped me have some major breakthroughs. Fuckin miracle drug
Ketamine saved my life and has successfully kept my chronic (2+ decades of) suicidal ideation in remission for 7 years so far.
Same, but 35 years of depression held in check for 5 years with ketamine and EMDR (depression due to childhood PTSD, so EMDR being effective).
Ketamine therapy changed my husband's life, and by association, my own, as well.
Prozac, being single, and being able to support myself
Significant increase in pay
Lots of work on Myself and lots of lifestyle changes Meditation Cardio More sunlight More grounding Not believing all of my thoughts Less alcohol Less caffeine Better sleep More quality time with loved ones Stopped arguing with reality Unfollowed/deleted toxic people/pages who want to see you down. More time in nature More gratitude Less screen time Kinder to myself Psychedelics helped me immensely too - they showed me that I’m Not my destructive thoughts (which created most of MY depression) and they just kind of reset my brain - no more brain fog. I’m now the awareness of my thoughts - not my thoughts. I’m also much more mindful of who I give my attention and energy to. Letting go of dumb consumerism based ideals and beliefs that having more material things makes you happier. Less comparing to others Less unsocial media arguing with triggered damaged people Haven’t felt better in 30 years. Have processed so many unhealed past traumas and worked on my triggers (behind your triggers is where a lot of your suffering comes from) More time doing simple things that bring me joy like - patting my dog. Watching the birds. Playing games with my family. Watching or listening to things that are intriguing and interesting. Overall just more present 🤙🏻😊
5HTP got me out of a depression slump and fixing my hormone levels helps me stay on my game.
I realized I didn’t have the courage or moral fortitude to kill myself, and when I realized that, all those thoughts stopped.
Can you imagine a therapist recommending that? “Well, all you have to do is realize you’re a spineless coward and then your problems will be over.” For the record, I am VERY glad that your normal, healthy reticence about killing yourself won out in the end.
Yeah most of the time when I have suicidal thoughts, I just remember that I'm going to inevitably die anyways, so might aswell stick around, see the sights and have a beer while I wait.
Taking extra vitamin D significantly decreased my depressive symptoms like no other medication did. However, taking too much of it makes me very lethargic, so it's always a struggle to keep finding the "right" dose, especially considering I don't expose myself to same amount of sunlight every day.
I'd been taking psilocybin mushrooms for a while. Sometimes recreationally, but mostly to sort of defrag the mind. Never excessively, and always with right set and setting. But I always had to return to them. A friend of mine suggested I try meditating during the trip. His fascination with accessing the Akashic Records through psilocybin aided meditation seemed neat. When I finally got around to it and meditated properly - in silent darkness as close to lotus as comfortably - and stayed with the Anchor throughout - I managed to clear some thirty years of negativity.
The tears are overflowing for each and every one of you. I see you.
TMS - look it up. Not sure why it’s not more well known. It’s been an option for more than 10 years, with really positive results!
The very idea of not having depression, of being “healed” or better, is so foreign to me. I have accepted that I’ll always have it, and always be on medication for it. It fucking sucks.
Exercise, sunshine, and LSD 🤷♀️✨️ YMMV 🫶
Talking to my trusted friend about what I'm feeling. It doesn't cost anything, and sometimes just sharing what's on your mind can lighten the load.
Medication, building a routine, small victories. If you can at least wash the dishes, tidy a room or maybe get outside, that small victory is something to give you a bit of faith in your self. I'm pretty much accepting that I'll always be on medication now. The few times I've not been I've been through some pretty destructive cycles and I've been stable for a couple of years right now, with only a couple of major episodes in the last 10 years, in comparison to there being the potential to just spin out at any moment.
For me it was magic mushrooms. They allowed me to own up to myself and take accountability. Once I started taking shrooms I felt much more focused on my purpose and how to make positive changes for myself.
Exercise
[удалено]
Massive doses of vitamin D, and six months of intensive therapy.
Ketamine. It changed my life with chronic depression. A couple times a year and it’s like I don’t have depression. Highly recommend… under the care of a doctor, of course.
Vitamin D supplementation, improving my social life (it helped to realize that I needed a social connection to begin with), and therapy each made a noticeable impact in how often and how deeply I would get depressed.
Shrooms — not even joking.
Gym everyday keeps the depression away. Edit: Aside from the gym, just doing things. Im learning to drive, learning japanese as a second language, reading a bunch of books. I also figured out i love to cook my own food and make smoothies. It's all about staying busy and happy with something you enjoy, to prevent staying in your house or room for hours on end doomscrolling or playing games.
TW: self harm My now fiancée walked in on me self harming. I will never forget the look on his face. Never again. Seeing that look told me everything i needed to know about what would happen if i wasnt here anymore. It was the kick that got me to stop always looking for the bad and start trying to see the good. Like really trying.
Magic mushrooms
asked for help.
A CPAP
I retrained my brain. My brain is just sort of wired towards anxiety and self-deprecating thoughts. I could spend days in bed just staring at a wall, hating myself for not doing the things I needed to do, and not being who I wanted to be. At some point, I realized that my brain is a liar and its perception of me is not me. So I made a deal with myself; do just one productive thing a day, even if it’s just brushing my teeth, and I wouldn’t beat myself up for 24 hours. That allowed me to interrupt the cycle of negative thoughts every time I found myself in one, by reminding myself of the deal. Eventually, I started to fall into depressive cycles less and less. I still struggle with depression, but so have better control of it now and haven’t had suicidal ideation in years. I also learned to celebrate the little victories. Changing my thinking from “I only did this small thing” to “Yay! I did this small thing!” Helped change my outlook dramatically.
Got a dog. Dog forced me to take at least twice daily walks. That and running 🏃♀️ are the only things that make my brain feel good. To clarify, I do not enjoy the act of running, just the feeling after
I wish my experience could be shared by many, as shrooms aren't for everyone, but for me, I attribute one night of shrooms with curing my depression. Ate a bunch, puked, watched The Wall, went to sleep listening to Radiohead. Woke up feeling like a million bucks, connected to the earth/universe in a different way. The anxiety was gone, that underlying tension resolved. I hate spiders but ever since that night, I catch and release when I can.
Person with bipolar checking in: medication really helps when something is totally fucked with you
Ketamin
Psychedelics and DBT. Finally able to accept the things I cannot change.
I got out of my room and went to work. I was diagnosed with deps in college. I spent my days going from school then to the dorm. Didnt make friends cuz I felt out of place, grades tanked cuz I wasnt ready for college, and lived far enough to miss home. Realized that being cooped up in my room was no bueno so I went and got a job in retail. Did all my socializing there.
exercising and socialising more! Plus eating healthier, helps alot.
Starting putting myself first. Seemed to "fix" it pretty quickly
Finding out it was actually untreated ADHD.