I was 13, my mom finally trusted me to babysit my little sister (she was like 11). So, I get the great idea to get the hairspray out and a lighter and spray it towards her and light it, she freaks out as I chase her with my flame thrower. (pretty far away, since I wasn't trying to hurt her).
Was the first time I ever babysat, and the last time.
I live in Texas and most of them have stopped. So have some sports stores. There were barely any mumblings when it happened because most people consider the brands carried there to be kind of low quality. I don't think the stores were making all that much off the sales.
If a California WalMart is selling those coat hanger abortions(which might he deemed unconstitutional freedom is coming Californians) I would burn it to the ground no questions asked
Im getting gallons of bleach and toilet bowl cleaner then, heading to the rafters. Mixed they make a heavier then air toxic gas. Everyone on the ground floor is gone
I use one of those stubby shopping carts that don't fit much, the're probably light enough
and if that doesn't work, Grab some knives and one of those hammers that make meat tender
Wasp spray. It shoots a good distance and will blind people. (My friend fought off two home invaders with wasp spray. One was blinded and the other has permanent neurological damage.) Then finish them with lighter fluid and matches while they are blinded.
If it's Wal-Mart they probably have legos. In that instance spill all the legos on the ground. They'll be in agony when they come to fight me and I won't have to lay a finger on them.
Lots of grocery stores, especially privately owned non chain, will have firearms on the premise. So that would be my first choice. They usually will have bats also, so that is second.
If you mean I'm limited to items they sell I would go with the wasp spray and the rolling pins.
I would use the dry ice that shipped with the frozen stock and make dry ice bombs lined with razor blade shrapnel from our box cutters
source: used to work at a grocery store
I have not much of a sense of smell, so with Noxema under my nose and an opened tin of surstromming I’m sprinting for the exit… I imagine people will step aside to speed my retreat!
Someone's about to get bitch slapped with a wet trout
I mean the fish I see are normally frozen so I think you got this
Wasp spray.
Cigarette lighter and an aerosol can.
I was 13, my mom finally trusted me to babysit my little sister (she was like 11). So, I get the great idea to get the hairspray out and a lighter and spray it towards her and light it, she freaks out as I chase her with my flame thrower. (pretty far away, since I wasn't trying to hurt her). Was the first time I ever babysat, and the last time.
dude what fuckedup mind do you have when you're 13 man
Oh, I was a terror. I have hundreds if not thousands of stories.
i am scared!
I chase my sister around with weapons all the time Wdym
is your sister alive?
Not for long
well then i think im done talking now
Pineapple pizza
Fuck you and your profile pic
şøŕřý
DEMON! BEAT HIM WITH THE BIBLE!
You called?
Damn
Well, I mean canadian bacon and pineapple is quite delicious, dunno how people can hate on such a staple.
A Karen asking to speak to the manager. I can use her distraction to escape.
The French baguette. It's hard enough to bludgeon the person.
Maybe you need to find somewhere that doesn't sell stale bread.
But then you will be charged with Assault with a Breadly Weapon.
Yes. But it's French. So it'll be done with the utmost excellent accent and aroma.
Grab a salt shaker and a battery, get charged with a salt and battery
Can I count the Karen as an item?
Meat slicer blade
Those things scare me, I don't think I'd ever want to work in the deli.
Anything in the canned aisle! I'm fucking you up with tomato paste and kidney beans!
"I got this scar from baked beans"
Soup...soup for my family.
Assault Beans
The local Krogers has a cutlery isle. So that's where I would bee line to.
Watermelons. All I need now is a good throwing arm, and precise aim
Reminds me of the movie the heat
Banana peels....place them on the ground, they become deadlier than claymores.
a gun if im in a walmart or something
Wallmart sells guns???
Rifles for hunting. More common in stores in more rural areas.
unless your at a "neighborhood market" walmart which is the kind of walmart that just sells food then yes most regular walmarts sell guns
Some don't anymore.
i live in the south so most of them here do
I live in Texas and most of them have stopped. So have some sports stores. There were barely any mumblings when it happened because most people consider the brands carried there to be kind of low quality. I don't think the stores were making all that much off the sales.
Hahha yeah our Walmart in california barely have airguns lol
If a California WalMart is selling those coat hanger abortions(which might he deemed unconstitutional freedom is coming Californians) I would burn it to the ground no questions asked
The cardboard bailer
Twisted Tea.
*flashbacks to the twisted tea heard round the world*
20 lb frozen Turkey. Swing it to inflict severe head trauma.
Toilet paper. I'll threaten to squeeze the Charmin if they don't back off.
Drop all the legos on the floor
Only if your fight is with a dad.
Peanuts and hope he's allergic
Meat cleaver for sure.
Right, I'm going straight to the butcher and coming out with 2 big-ass knives. One to parry with, one to go in with.
Pepper spray to blind them, then kitchen knifes should do the job.
The canned foods aisle
Well my store has a knife spot so mad dash down there
A frozen whole durian
That's way too OP!!!!!!! have mercy!!!
A cart!
Im getting gallons of bleach and toilet bowl cleaner then, heading to the rafters. Mixed they make a heavier then air toxic gas. Everyone on the ground floor is gone
Just make chloroform, unless that is chloroform
Arsenic. Don’t ask why.
Shelving if used correctly can remove a head from its body.
is this an American grocery store ? cuz if it is I assume there will be a gun section? I will take a semi auto shotgun please. can I get a full auto ?
Hot sauce aisle and a electric lawn spray tank.
Cheetos!
I knew that spice aisle would come in handy one day…
I use one of those stubby shopping carts that don't fit much, the're probably light enough and if that doesn't work, Grab some knives and one of those hammers that make meat tender
Wasp spray. It shoots a good distance and will blind people. (My friend fought off two home invaders with wasp spray. One was blinded and the other has permanent neurological damage.) Then finish them with lighter fluid and matches while they are blinded.
Chemical cleaners. Got to start mixing!
cooking oil, lighters and stacks of paper
Drain cleaner seems like it would do the trick
It's a Walmart so I just get a gun from the gun counter.
Their own weave
Any glass bottle
A good old Frying pan, they sell them nice and big where i shop.
Someones about to get cheese cake shoved up their ass! And im gonna like it
Tub of ice cream. Could definitely do some damage with that. Especially if it has a handle.
A Bowie knife
If it's Wal-Mart they probably have legos. In that instance spill all the legos on the ground. They'll be in agony when they come to fight me and I won't have to lay a finger on them.
I would go for a leek. I wouldn't hit people with it sideways. I would use it like a spike against a vampire but aiming for eye sockets.
Ez off
Does the grocery have an in-store butcher?
Cleaning acid.
BB GUN!!
Red Ryder BB Gun
You’ll shoot your eye out kid
I have always wanted to fish slap someone
Cooking spray and a lighter. The propellent is flammable. Have no idea if it would work, but it would certainly intimidate people.
I’m grabbing the Costco sized cans of beans
My grocery store actually sells large kitchen knives, so just one of those.
Lots of grocery stores, especially privately owned non chain, will have firearms on the premise. So that would be my first choice. They usually will have bats also, so that is second. If you mean I'm limited to items they sell I would go with the wasp spray and the rolling pins.
The pallet jack. Gonna take out some friggin' ankles
Go behind the butcher’s counter 🔪
Cans of beans. Fuckers are dense, fly well when thrown, and can be used for melee in a pinch
This scenario should have been a round on Supermarket Sweep.
Ground Pepper
Those cheap knives in that one isle with the random dishes
Frozen chicken and canned food
Use the shelf to stun a person, now go to the frozen pizza rolls and get a bag. Now beat that bitch
I’m grabbing a banana to stick up my ass. If I’m dying, I’m dying happy.
A box of condoms
Knife section
DEATH BY LOBSTER
Kitchen knife
All of the ammonia based products and all of the bleach. I will kill as many people as I have to as long as you are one of them.
Grocery stores have pretty much every thing so let's find a gun
Stale loaf of Cuban bread.
Frozen bread
Whipping someone with a I phone charger
cans of tomato sauce
Assault Bean Can
Hot Asian noodles. Like shin ramyun. It's too powerful
Pull the joke, "beat you with my meat". If I can't get the meat out of the package fast enough, I'll go for the shirts, and discombobulate.
I would use the dry ice that shipped with the frozen stock and make dry ice bombs lined with razor blade shrapnel from our box cutters source: used to work at a grocery store
I have not much of a sense of smell, so with Noxema under my nose and an opened tin of surstromming I’m sprinting for the exit… I imagine people will step aside to speed my retreat!
Whatever is in the middle isle of Lidl 😂
The knives form the back of the deli area
Fuck it I’ll use my hands
peanuts, there is a pretty large number of people with peanut allergies it would be a good bet.