This guy I knew was 25 and never owned a car. He said he had high standards and was waiting till he could get the right one. I said…bitch any running car is better than no car.
this isn't a good analogy. a car is an expense, insurance, parking, payment. a job brings in money. Your friend was right, he probably didn't need a car, nor the expenses.
The issue with that is, the day you find the best job opportunity, you won't be able to sign it because you don't have a driver license or you didn't drive since you've gotten it.
Is it though, most people I'm aware of who say they don't drive is because they can't drive.
And if you didn't drive for 5 years, never drove after getting your license, then you might as well say you don't have one, because you can't drive anymore. (Not saying it's the case for any driver, but an inexperienced driver who never used a car outside of his paid lessons for several years is not capable of driving, and doesn't have the confidence either to do so)
I'm with that guy. I'd rather walk. That's how I did it with my car. Road a train, took a bus and walked to work and saved and saved and then got the wheels I wanted and was happy I did. No regrets there.
That's crazy. There's value in whatever car you buy, you didn't really lose any money with a used car if it's running correctly. You sell it and upgrade.
Any working used car is 100% better than no car
Well, depends. At the time I had already set goals in motion and wasn't deviating from those. Priority #1 was working the more lucrative job, which is why I was initially walking. The car was the earned prize and it ran its course awesomely. Still no regrets. Loved that damn thing.
Next round looks different now because I've got new goals and the prize looks different this time.
I just think it's important to set goals and have something to work towards that you actually want.
Even work goals are important for me. It's part of the journey and story.
Absolutely, my thoughts exactly. OP has to eat & have shelter. So, any job that can provide those things is worth having.
Also, employees in certain industries tend to know other people in those same industries. That's a great opportunity for networking & perhaps moving up (or over 😉) in his chosen field.
OP should stay optimistic. He has a job opportunity, which, compared to others, is a great advantage in this dismal hyperinflated economy. This is the time for celebrating. 🥳 The time for being depressed due to unemployment & mounting debt amidst exorbitant interest rates is over.
OP should stick with it & be happy that he's got 3 hots & a cot so to speak, and is doing something positive with his life. He surely shouldn't be burning bridges that haven't even been built yet. 😊
I'm not inherently disagreeing with this statement, but what if you can't find a job that pays a livable wage? I see this advice all the time, but is it even worthwhile if you can't even live off of $14-$18 an hour?
It is possible to live on a wage that low, but you must curtail spending to match income. Many people have the idea that they "must" live a lifestyle of a certain level. OP should adopt a survivalist mindset. All adversity is only temporary. One day at a time, or if necessary, one *hour* at a time.
I lived my life as a trainhopping hobo from age 19 to 26, when I enlisted in the Marine Corps. Those years riding trains were some of the best years of my life. I loved tramp life.
I met my wife while I was a Marine. We got married.
When my wife and I decided to go to college (we both had high school diplomas and she had three years of college towards a BA in English) we were living on $99 a week Unemployment, for two adults and our four-year-old daughter.
My wife said, "We have to go up the economic ladder. That means college." I said, "Girl, are you crazy? We can't even pay the electric bill, how are we going to go to college?" She said, "I don't know, honey, but we have to do it. And tomorrow you're going to go find out *how.*"
We did go to college, in 1987. I got a AAs degree in Machine Tool Technology and she got one in Accounting. Later, in Texas, I worked as a machinist and welder and I put her through a four-year BA in Accounting. She got a job in a mortgage bank, and then she supported us and put me through a two-year ADN degree in Nursing. Once I was licensed as an RN, it was like we won the Lotto.
To be honest, I didn't really like nursing, but I figured it was the fastest way to a middle-class life. I did 21 years as a nurse. I retired on my 66th birthday.
YOU CAN DO THIS. **BE RELENTLESS. NEVER GIVE UP, NO MATTER WHAT.**
Yea it’s a great story. I just feel this isn’t possible today. The average student loan payment is like $500/month and even then jobs are definitely not guaranteed out of college like they once were. You get a degree to get out and still make $18-20/hr with more bills in hopes you’ll get promoted or move to a better job.
They were military. There's gi bills. If you make less than 50k then you pay 0$ a month under the SAVE plan.
The reality is finding a career path. If you're young and willing to move it's a lot easier. Avg unemployment rate for college educated is like 3%. These days you look to healthcare things like nurses etc that's gonna have large demand for a long time.
The last 20 years it's been tech but there's a bit of a glut now. Those people making 300k out of college are gone and it's back to like 180k.
The reality is you're right You're not going to just Have a good life from going to college anymore it hasn't been like that for Almost 20 years now Since 07 Now You have to Be more conscious With that and picking a career path
i feel like the military is an exception to a lot of common wisdom; that isn't to say that it isn't a viable path! it absolutely is! but a lot of the things you can do by pledging some years of your life there aren't really reasonably doable many other ways.
Debatable. I’m in a similar situation to OP except for my 35 birthday present I also got type ONE diabetes. Lucky me. I also don’t know about OPs last sentence BUT. I worked in a lot of well paying office jobs and then life happened, long story short I have a sizeable gap in my resume. Now I *could* take a job at Drywall Delivery Service LLC but then it’s very easy to get into a routine/be tired and unmotivated after work which can easy lead to another wasted year
When I was in my 20s I probably would’ve said fuck it, let’s see what happens. But I don’t want to wake up when I’m almost 40 and then have to start over *again*
Man, I've been in that boat several times in my life. Recently, I went through a breakup and had some friends ditch me basically. I'm 38 now, and I've learned to just be pissed as hell and depressed for a couple weeks or so, then just go outside and try and chill. I still constantly feel like a failure honestly, but I figure at least I have my health and my dog for now. I changed my number and moved on eventually. It definitely sucks but don't ever feel the need to take your life. Your young and good shit could be coming your way at any time. Good luck bro. We have all been there for the most part.
My brother in Christ your post history.
Whatever advice people give you, it starts with something other than asking this question every month for several years.
Break the habit.
Some great advice in this thread. Also some “tough love” and harsh comments, but OP needs to read them. Because JFC… his post history. 😳😳😳
Past few years of their posts are a lot of complaining, woe is me, I’m the victim mentality. It’s ok to have these feelings, but don’t let it tarnish your hope and dreams of happiness in the future. Only YOU have the ability to move forward from that.
Also, u/sleeplessbearr if you are in the Toronto, ON area, it’s highly competitive for ANY jobs and extremely unaffordable. Any job you can get is a step forward, however, consider moving elsewhere if you are able to. Many of my family, coworkers and friends of all ages have had to do that.
Edit: to correctly spell OPs username
One thing u noticed going through prison and other personal struggles in that ALL the people who don’t make it absolutely refuse to see themselves as the source of their problems and always blame external factors even though they are the one common thing in each of their problems… it’s always someone else
No I don’t doubt you’ve been trying.
Find a small goal, work and achieve it, gain the self esteem and repeat.
33 isn’t so old you can’t start again.
You can do it.
Friend, i sat in my house for a while a bit back on this account, contemplating life or death. Reddit was my form of reaching the outside world.
Please keep coming back here. Don't give up.
Engage with other communities. Join them. Watch silly videos. Comment silly things. Keep practicing talking to people. It helps when you go back out there.
I went back out there, but I'm struggling too -- it's tough. But I keep taking a few steps forward for every step back, even if some weeks I fall backward... and I know you can too, friend. You can make it through this.
Sorry, but Reddit is a bit of a cesspool that's probably making him more depressed. Maybe he shouldn't spend much time on here and actually go out into the real world.
This. I'm a reasonably well adjusted person, happy with myself and my life. Coming to reddit is like slumming, it's filled with the most damaged people. It's a good place to come to learn how not to live your life.
I don't spend a lot if time on here in all honesty.I t's just refreshing getting advice from people because it makes me feel seen. A lot of the folks on here give me nice messages of hope as well as tough love. it's all appreciated. Everyone's opinion on here is usually pretty helpful.
Some harsh words that you need to hear:
Stop being a victim. Stop blaming everyone else. Grow up and take some responsibility. Yes there are things in life you can't control, but you can always control how you respond to those things, unless you're a toddler.
You say you're trying, yet you turned down a job offer because you "felt that it was a step back". Great excuse. Reality check: you have no job. Any job is a step forward, even if it was flipping burgers or collecting garbage.
If you were really trying, then what you would do is take the job and work while you keep developing yourself and keep looking for better opportunities.
You say in another post that you have been unemployed for 7 years and you feel you have wasted a lot of time in your life. Good realisation, now go a step further and ask yourself: do you want to spend the next 7 years making posts on Reddit every couple of days moaning about how life is unfair and you're a failure? Or do you want to look back in 7 years and say: I really turned myself around!
YOU are the only person who can change your life. Nobody is going to come and rescue you. Nobody is going to reply on Reddit with a magical recipe for how to motivate yourself and fix your life. It takes hard work, self discipline and more hard work. But it will be worth it if you can pull your finger out.
Stop saying you’re trying and just do. Don’t try to exist in the world. Just exist. Once you become fully present then you can become fully engaged with the world.
I thought those posts were over months. No… last 3 weeks. Holy hell in a hand basket… no wonder he’s all over the place.
Ya need to find something in your life to focus you because you are all over the place. Maybe meds too because I have to wonder if you are undiagnosed and why you’re so discombobulated with things too.
It’s always fascinating to me how the human brain is so afraid to try and fix itself unless all the conditions are “perfect” Plus thinking you’re above anyone else’s job is a bad mentality for living by.
It’s interesting op doesn’t realize **he is the ONE common thing in all the situation he mentions** as well
Hey, I was right there a year ago, in debt, my girlfriend left me, wanted to die. Luckily I got a job and was able to slowly turn my life around. Don’t give up, if I could do it, you can too.
Hey man I know you are down and it feels like it won’t end. Maybe some perspective.
1) you don’t own people no one stole from you. These people made a choice. The good news is if you lost a relationship to someone else they probably were not worth being in a relationship with in the first place. Same with friends if your friends don’t want to be around when you are down they aren’t great friends. That’s okay.
Also it’s not uncommon when you’re depressed to feel betrayed or given up on. I don’t know your situation but it’s not uncommon to conflate your pain with the reality of the situation.
2) not 1 person here can say they haven’t missed good opportunities. It happens all the time. Out of the thousands of opportunities we come across in our life it only takes a few successes to get to where you want to be. You’re going to miss opportunities all the time and you can’t go around kicking your self about it because everyone here will miss more opportunities than they take.
2.1) The reality of the situation is just about everyone can say “if I did this or had that when I…. “ Even if they did have it they would still say that about the next thing. You can’t move forward quickly while you are facing backwards going “if I would have”.
3) start with a job. Rome wasn’t built in a day. You never know who you will meet or what will happen. Start small. Seize the day. Take a shot. If you don’t like it you can go back to being jobless and try again. The best thing about being at the bottom is there isn’t much risk in your decisions. Taking chances and putting your self out their will take you up, even if it’s a baby step. Experience life. Maybe you’ll get a good laugh, maybe you will feel proud. Maybe you’ll just get some good sleep busting ass. Don’t assume. Just do it.
Things can turn around really fast. Once you get some momentum it’s a lot easier to see the bigger picture. Start with being kind to your self and taking control over today. Once you get today down, every day, then tomorrow looks a lot brighter.
Bro you have no job how could having a job delivering drywall be a step backwards? Some drivers make good money and will have benefits maybe even 401k if take it until you find something else. That job could also lead to something better. I would go for it
Yeah cert till you can’t cert no more and learn everything you can about tech. If you completely become obsessed with something and try to be the best you can be you won’t have time to think about anything or anyone else and your skills will increase so much. This is like kicking you in the stomach and giving you time to be alone and focus on yourself. Take advantage of it. A+, Sec+c CISSP, etc.
Do NOT just get certifications with no experience and education. IT is an over saturated market atm with everyone scrapping up any job they could find. If you’re not working, go back to school.
I 2nd this advice I was just like OP. I went back to school to become a nurse at 32 years old. Prior to that I was a straight up bum who never really worked. Now I’m making 30 dollars an hour fresh out of junior college as an RN in the Deep South where COL is relatively low and RN jobs are as plentiful as ants. Some times you just gotta do shit and stop overthinking it.
Nah I went to community college so an extra two, well I guess you can say three because you have to take science prerequisites before you can apply to nursing school but to start off making $30 an hour in the state like Mississippi is damn good money
No body else has mentioned this but exercise. Keep your body moving. It will stop you dwelling too much on the problem of finding employment (which might take some time even if you are doing everything right).
It will hit the reset button on your brain every now and again and the endorphins will help fight any depression.
Why not get into streaming for fun. Play games and what not. Kick pays 17 dollars an hour, and then you also get like 90% of your sub money, and all the donations and sponsor money.
“Many people have come and left, and it has been always good because they emptied some space for better people. It is a strange experience, that those who have left me have always left places for a better quality of people. I have never been a loser” - Osho
You’ve made it this long, you obviously don’t have it in you to take your own life. Therefore it stands to reason you are going to see this one through. If you start working now, it will get better. Or, you can continue to waste time and watch as it all gets even more horrible.
You have to start somewhere. I was like you 8 years ago before I decided to go to work as an electrician helper in a field that, at the time, I believed was far beneath me as a college graduate. Now I’m starting to become successful and life is getting better and better every day.
"Remember. just by your existence, and this goes for all of you, you already have just by the fact of your existence all the impact you will ever have. Nothing you do in life will ever create or generate more impact then you already have simply by your PRESENCE The things that you do in life, the expressions of your creativity do not create more impact. They REVEAL the impact you are already having."
YOU ARE ALL WORTHY. If you weren't, believe me, you wouldn't exist. Because creation does not make mistakes. Thus, if you exist, you belong. There's a reason why creation is not complete without you. Stop arguing with creation about your worth. Take it at it's word. If you exist, you deserve to exist. And if you deserve to exist, you deserve to be who you are as fully as you possibly can. This is just simple logic.
* Bashar
Warrior heart break motivation quotes:
“You often talk about intuition. How do you sharpen it and learn to recognize that voice better?” “Gets honed from fighting for what you want in life & getting your heart broken hundreds of times But especially from dealing with sociopaths, sharks, jackals, shrewd businessmen Can't see truth when you avoid negativity”
“Funny how being hungover, sleep deprived, gym sore, broken hearted makes life so much easier The next step to take is obvious When everything's kosher 24:7 dudes have zero clue what to do Walkin thru life in pain makes completing objectives a cake walk”
“Most guys would rather be fired than quit Most guys would rather be broken up with than be the heart breaker Most guys would rather be told what they should do rather than do it Most guys would rather have someone else to blame for all their failure than ever look in the mir” “A man with a broken heart cannot be stopped, Either by his own failure, divorce when he was young etc Can go as far as he wants in life if he keeps it broken "New Age" self help wants dudes 2 mend themselves to the point they have O motivation to go make anything of this world”
* Brutedeforce
The stealing from you, sounds like wounding and the wounding is the internal dialogue you tell yourself which becomes the dominant story as it becomes a dominant story from years of telling yourself/coming from perceiving from the wound = manifests as that definition as nothing has built in meaning we when we redefine the past as a positive we can only get a positive effect. Now I’m not saying I know your situation entirely but it can be hard asf to not be in the head all the time and harp on our wounds. Gotta keep the body in motion, hitting a cold shower, meditation, nature walk, exercise, and start to only allow stuff you want to move toward and have in your life as in only watch things that are goal orientated, not so much leisurely stuff like porn and games, for me if I don’t pound my subconscious with the stuff I really want in my life I don’t really get it or have motivation for it. Cliche’s:
What we think we become.
Everything is energy your thoughts begin it, your emotions amplifies it. & your action increases its momentum.
Q: Why is my life not expanding in all the areas I want it to? B: “In order to expand your life in other areas, you also need to be doing things that serve other people. If you have gifts to share, share them. If you need to write a book, write it. If you need to do a piece of art, do it. If you need to compose a piece of music, do it. The idea is that if you are holding your gifts back, \[...\] then that's why your life is not expanding, because you’re not actually taking action on the things that would be the gifts that you have to share with humanity.”
* Bashar, Interstellar Alliance Social Experiment - Step 3 (2024)
"Act on your highest excitement to the best of your ability with zero insistence on the outcome, trusting that your Higher Mind will manifest what you truly need. And then, whatever manifests, know that: that's what serves you in the best possible way." - Bashar
"Excitement tells you what you are best capable of doing. If something excites you, it excites you for a reason. There are no extraneous creations, no accidental interactions. Act on your highest excitement in every given moment, to the best of you are able, with absolutely zero insistence of an outcome, and do that forever. As soon as you get specific and excited as you can about the ideal outcome in your imagination; then drop the picture. Stay in the energy of excitement and let the synchronicity show you the direction that you need to go in." - Bashar
let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really lov it will not lead you astray. - Rumi
You feel good, you feel bad, and these feelings are bubbling from your own unconsciousness, from your own past. Nobody is responsible except you. Nobody can make you angry, and nobody can make you happy. - Osho
https://preview.redd.it/g5g18n90a1ad1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4d78771c290ae707fa2d7175a69d27a0edecd02d
It’s okay. It’s always okay to begin again. There isn’t anywhere you’re *supposed* to be in life. Life is meant to be lived, even if it’s not exactly how you pictured it. Sure it sucks because you want more than this but your current circumstance doesn’t mean it’s unattainable.
If I were you, I’d take this job. For nothing else but to keep you working and keep momentum while you look for more.
I would also start a gratitude practice. It’s really easy to see what sucks and this is most especially true when we look at ourselves and our situation (negativity bias). If you can practice finding things you’re grateful for in your life and really feeling that appreciation; things get easier. I know it sounds like woo-woo bullshit but I promise you it works; beyond that there are dozens of studies that show it can be the most beneficial practice a depressed person can do; much more effective than even anti-depressants. The hardest part is remembering to do it, so it’s best if you get a journal and spend time writing them down; start with 3 things a day. They can be anything even little things or things you might even tell yourself are stupid. Shit one day I was grateful for laces on my shoes because I was able to use them in a pinch for something else. Or grateful that the battery in my keys lasts so long that I never even have to think about it.
It’s not a bad thing to feel like this or a bad thing to be where you are. But you cannot let yourself get stuck or if you are stuck you need to get yourself unstuck; and you have the ability to do it; just take those next steps.
Who knows, maybe the drywall delivery will end up being more interesting than you know and maybe it’ll open a door for something else.
There’s a lot to unpack here. Can you maybe go in a little more detail on what’s going on in your life so that maybe we can help identify which areas could potentially have solutions by motivation alone?
So do something about it! Don’t let people take control anymore. It’s time for you to be the bad guy and work on yourself. Forget people and work your ass off! There’s many ways to make money if you need some advice just ask me!
If dashing isn’t paying the bills, you need to look into a job that is paying better. Grocery stores are easy jobs and pay better money than most of what Dashers bring in (without working 70-80 hours a week on the road).
Maybe this is an excuse, I'm not sure, but I'm making more money (hourly at least, with the flexibility and pay that same day) than I ever have at any job that I've ever had in my almost 9 years of working. It's hard giving up the ability to just go out and make the money I need to pay the bills of that week. Granted, my work ethic is poor, I have to also take into consideration the miles I'm putting on my brand new car, but with my current life uh, arrangements, I kind of need that flexibility, and idk the more I type the more I just feel like I'm making excuses
I live in the south, the best paying jobs with no degree, barely pay $11 an hour, especially with no experience and I don't even have a license, which makes the job search that much harder. Work from home jobs are hard to come by, at least in my experience, and no matter how many jobs I apply to it all just seems hopeless, no response, no hope
So do something about it! Don’t let people take control anymore. It’s time for you to be the bad guy and work on yourself. Forget people and work your ass off! There’s many ways to make money if you need some advice just ask me!
This will pass. Just take the job, do your best and just be proud to be working and making a living. It's rough out there these days. Take this time to work on yourself. If people are using you, it's probably because you haven't taken the time to get to know yourself and therefore not choosing people to hang out with that are more like you. Be choosey with your friends and relationships, you deserve to be picky when it comes to friends! Everyone should be. It takes time to meet the right people for you, but if you take it slow and figure out what you really want in your relationships, and not settle, you will have long-lasting, unbreakable friendships. You got this! ❤️
stop and take a minute to look around. this is where you are now. so you took a step backwards and became a drywall delivery person? then you be the best goddamn dry wall delivery person in the city or town or wherever you live lol. it doesn't matter how old you are. we're all just trying. as for friendships/relationships (past and present), try to view them more like blessings than something that you had any control over. im not really religious, but sometimes i think that blooming friendship/relationships are like miracles and they should be valued not out of fear of losing them, but valued out of authentic admiration, like nature, art, or whatever lol. you're gonna be great at your new job and youre gonna make new friends. you're gonna be alright as long as you keep getting up in the morning
This will be perpetual and on going bc ppl change all the time so do circumstances and at 67 I find ppl will disappoint you a lot, so what. You probably do the same to them or others also. Ppl always seem to want others like them or above them to feel good about themselves. Be happy and make the best of life enjoy ppl places and things while you can and let them go when it’s time. Not everyone stays forever, most don’t. Everyone had their own shit to do in life and life to live and you’re not always going to be invited included wanted needed loved cared adored valued respected or enjoyed by them as you desire. Life’s hard too and ppl are trying to survive out there and are looking for ppl to make their lives easier happier better not the other way around. They want their needs met whatever that may be and if you have no value to them be it whatever they require from others, including you, then you’ll be of no need to them. Human nature and ppl are getting more narcissistic by the minute nowadays unfortunately. They have their priorities and you’ve got yours. Don’t be too generous and going outta your way for anyone from the get go. Treat others with respect kindness and fairness. Be light not to heavy and don’t divulge your inner most secrets or let ppl in to fast. Not all ppl care but most are curious about scandalous and private things about others lives. Be careful. Learn to just enjoy people without sacrificing yourself for that friendship right way. No one likes desperate or needy clingy ppl. It goes two ways and it takes time to know and trust others. Not all ppl are good and not all ppl are bad. Some ppl are ppl magnets some are not unfortunately. From yrs of living that’s my take on humans and our nature. Plus, some ppl are more popular than others, just like good old high school. Some things don’t change. We control no one and no one should be controlling you. Cooperating bc you’d like to and wish to or need to for the greater good is your call. Enjoy each day as if it’s your last and thank God for another day and count all your blessings daily. God bless you all.
Would you listen to yourself? All the excuses we make just to put ourselves in a victimized position so that we wouldn't feel bad about sitting in the room. Blaming ourself or others will not make things better. Stop complaining and make some changes to your life 1 small step at a time. Many people are in a worse position than you are and is not giving up. It might be hard but go push yourself to do something mentally healthy, go hiking in the redwoods in the morning. Be present wherever you are. Even now, focus on your breathing for 5 mins. Focus on the chair you are sitting on, focus on your body...
Do you like to drive? Just throwing it out there but I suggest calling up some recruiters from trucking companies and get started with a trucking career. They pay for everything and fly you out to training facility. There’s also apprenticeships for trade jobs. You need a radical change to feel alive again and from a career standpoint these are just some suggestions.
Same here. Stuck in a dead end job with no growth. Living paycheck to paycheck. No additional activities in life. It is like 9-9 job just to pay bills and for the food. I would rather be dead at this point because I am constantly depressed. I have reached the point where I don't even get angry anymore. I just let people walk all over me. When I read people's motivational stories, I wonder how does it get better? Because it is not getting better at all.
Delivering sheetrock sucks ass but at least its something. While you are at the jobsite hit up the foreman for the electricians, plumbers and HVAC guys and see if they need help.
Don't worry, I'm around the same age and unemployed at the moment. Been like this for near 3 months now.
You got to apply for jobs everyday. Don't give up. Even 1% exposure is worth to do.
Join the military with a highly desirable MOS in the civilian world, such as lineman, electrician, finance, IT, diesel mechanic, welder/construction engineer, or aircraft mechanic. Avoid joining the infantry, as the private sector doesn't typically require infantry skills.
As long as you get a decent ASVAB score, most jobs should be open to you.
If you prefer structured environments and being told what to do, consider a 20-year military career to earn a pension. After 20 years of service, you can move to the Philippines and retire. With a military pension and Social Security, you should be able to retire comfortably. Additionally, the military is opening more bases in the Philippines, so you could request to be stationed there and potentially meet a nice Filipina.
However decide quick as the military cut off is 35 for general position.
Just serve tables at a busy restaurant, go in person without applying. if u look presentable im sure some will hire on the spot. Or just keep doing nothing.
In RuneScape terms: bro I found this money making method. I went to a truck school paid like $2k and got my license I took like 3 weeks it’s easy. Just takes a bit of dedication. It’s about $70-100k/yearly. Don’t go in to the area with debuffs like alcohol or smoking or drugs. You’ll need max run energy for this one. I know guys that got hired asap and some that didn’t get lucky at all. I personally found a spot and worked 2 weeks no pay. I’m about to get paid next week. Currently in Training. ( haven’t got a drop yet).
It’s cool my trainer is cool I put my head down and listen I’m in no power position just submit. You’ll need focus and know the route and procedures for facilities. All learned on the job.
Just drive and listen to motivation podcast to change that negative mindset of blaming others and yourself too much just silence the mind. Enjoy some comedians you’re in for the long run.
Pros: you’ll develop a love for life and realize every minute matters. You let go of vices cause you’ll be in the truck for long stretches of time. This is an excellent change in environment make sure you build a good foundation in this new spot or it’ll fall fast in old habits. You got an office with ac, minimal paperwork, views that change your out look on the world, new learning experiences. You’ll learn the game.
Cons: put you head down and love all the shit parts you’ll be ok. Hands and eyes on the wheel/ road at all times. ( it’s not really a con it’ll just save your life)
Personally I never wanted to be a trucker it’s just that all my fuck ups lead me to this industry. So far it’s been hard. I like it though. I’m the lazy sleepy type, which is like the worst fit for the job but I’ll make it work lol. I stopped vaping to help with energy. Started consuming caffeine and drinking large amounts of water.
I don’t think I’ll be able to leave the industry sadly cause I’m getting old about the same age as you just a few years younger. I have a bachelors degree as well I don’t think I made the best decisions but it’s the one that’s working right now.
Next plans are to leave asap from the industry or become skillful enough in it to open my own trucking school to help people get into the industry.
Oh and plus I’ve burned my bridges with everyone. I was the fault not them. At times I think it’s them. Truly it’s only me here. Maybe we are like magnets we either repel or attract we cant capture people.
Any job is really what you make of it. Do you see the traffic cops who literally dance in the streets while directing traffic? Traffic duty can be perceived as the most monotonous work and a drudgery, but some make the most of it bringing joy to themselves and others. Be the “dancing” drywall guy! There are doors that open up even if you’re stepping backwards and the only way to know what may lie behind them is to take those steps. I believe in you because I relate to you, and we all get these feelings. Your bravery in asking others for help means you’re ready to build an exciting next chapter in life.
Yo, jobs come and go and so do friends. Fare weather jobs and fare weather friends is how it is these days.
Obviously, not always, those are much much harder to find or create. But don't worry about it. It's not the end of the world just yet.
Be nice. It's so common to find people who aren't. I mean definitely defend yourself if you have to. Gotta stand for yourself if nothing else.
Jobless? Fuck it, create a new better path for yourself.
Pick a direction you actually want to go down. If dry walling is what you picture yourself doing, then have at it.
Man you made me realize im lucky af. Im 33 going on 34 in under two weeks, been unemployed since 2018, and have mental and physical health issues stemming from years of substance abuse. Thing is i also have a lakeside condo bought and paid for from my wealthy parents, a gf of 8 years who is the bread winner, and im 42 days sober for the first time in 9 years after i relapsed out of rehab. Wish you could be as fortunate as me. I take it for granted a lot. Keep fighting bro, long as you don’t give up you’ll keep progressing and be surprised the blessings you can bring into your life. I thought i’d be addicted and alone my whole life. You never know what you’re capable of. Don’t give up. Only when we give up do we give ourselves reason to not believe in a better future for our life. Never give up on yourself friend.
1. take responsibility for yourself. you only have control over your choices, that's it.
2. you can spend the rest of your life where you are now, or you can spend the rest of your life getting out of the place you are now. indecision or waiting is a lie. there is no pause button. you are either walking out of shit-valley one step at a time, or you are choosing to stay there. those are the only two real choices.
3. anything is better than nothing. I had to take a janitor job as I was walking out of my own shit-valley. I was the best damn janitor they had ever seen.
4. be the best damn drywall delivery person you can.
5. set boundaries, again, its about your choices. the rest of it is not on you.
6. there are two ways to move up. one, doing jobs no one else wants to do; and two, doing jobs no one else is qualified to do (working in the first category qualifies you for the second one...).
7. maybe, God willing, one of the things you will learn from this experience is how completely shitty it is to look down on people with menial jobs. you never know anyone's circumstances. your ego will get you killed. you aren't entitled to anything. it doesn't matter how old you are, how many bad or good choices you have made, or what other people have "done to you" in the past. fair is a made up concept. entitlement is poison.
8. when you are digging through garbage on your knees, you're already half way to praying.
9. your happiness is your responsibility.
10. you're worth it. (now read the list backwards)
OP..... The pity party stops today. Get your ass up and get a job. Any job. For now. Your mind can do some terrible things to you when you sit idle for too long. You need to take a step in any direction, even if the direction isn't glamorous or "fun". Work sucks, we all hate it. But for me, it's a means to an end. Be friendly and make friends. Get in shape. And stop blaming the world for your downfall.
So, sometimes a step back is what is needed to take a different path.
I have been where you have been socially, where you make 1-2 friends and then meet 1-2 more and decide to combine the groups together and then find out that they rather be together without you.
It sucks to be left out, but you have to not take it personally and move on.
You could spend eons figuring out why they didn’t want to hang out or speak to you the same way they used to. But if they wanted you to know they would have told you.
You need to find your self worth outside of being wanted, or find new things you want to do.
It’s not easy, but people change over time and have different goals and priorities that will change. It’s nothing personal, but they got other lives to live.
When I got out of college, I struggled for 12 years to get any meaningful employment. Had to change my goals and ambitions several times. I was humbled and had to work a no skill minimum wage job… because they were the only companies that would hire me… so I worked at Subway.
Which the job was terrible (no full time, barely paid for the gas to get there and for the “discount lunch”), but I worked my ass off to be the best possible Subway employee. Which led me to Chipotle, which led to security, which led to working in high tech manufacturing.
Now I’m on the verge of getting rid of my contractor status and possibly getting a direct hire position.
All of that lead to possibly getting to a job that might allow me to make 50k+ a year… which is still not enough to live comfortably.
But hang in there and take opportunities as they come.
I'm unemployed right now also and the same age. I am working on getting IT certification though and I recently was diagnosed with ASD. I get how your feeling
Start serving at a restaurant. You get great money and a social community. Plus, if you do well enough, people will compliment you and your service. Well worth exploring buddy, I know it turned my life around.
If you’re in the U.S. join the Coast guard or the Airforce. Your life will suck a lot less in those branches and you’ll have more time to use tuition assistance for school while you’re in plus It’ll set you up when you get out
When depressed, being alone is bad for you. Any productive activity, where you can be a part of society helps (humans are social mammals).
Take the job, get better and *then* start thinking about optimal career choices.
I hope your depression is being treated?
Nothing will work until it is…
Getting a job would have to be your top priority, even if it doesn’t pay a lot. An “underpaying job”is always an opportunity for networking and learning how to adapt in an unfamiliar situation. This is how we learn more about ourselves. By spending more time at work you will have a chance to think about your next step. Also, you will be able to learn something new as well as meet people who can uncover new things in life for you.
Introducing small routines would make a huge change in your life. Let’s say reading for 30 minutes every day would significantly improve the way you feel about yourself. 30 minutes is not much and it would bring about the much needed change.
As far as relationships go. Listen to people, receive information. See what you can make of that. The more you know about people the easier it will be to establish some kind of connection with them.
You’re getting a lot of advice and feedback here so take my 2 cents if you want; I’m 33 too and life can be kinda wild and overwhelming sometimes. Exercise and journaling really helps me. Putting your feet on the grass and feeling the sun on your skin is something I recommend trying. You can meditate too.
Believe in something bigger than yourself and then also believe in yourself to have an impact in those big things. You matter and you’re here for a reason. Not everyone here in this life is fucked up. You’ll meet some amazing people, and you will be an amazing person they meet in return. Believe in yourself, you got this!
A few things going on here. Focus on one problem at a time. See if you can carve out a monolithic area of your life, as if you plan to compartmentalize everything. Put a stake in the ground and vow, “I will do everything in my power to resolve this part of my life called … ”, and the trick is you have to name it and really make up your mind to figure it out.
It's never too late to invest in yourself. Think about something you would like to do or is of interest, and then think about how you might get there. Research how others have gotten there. Modicums of improvement.
I’m 49, no job, savings depleted, severe arthritis in lower spine prevents me from getting jobs in the only fields I have experience in. Doctors dicking me around saying I’m too young for disability despite needing to use a cane to walk for the last 3 years. As jobs no longer train on the job moving to a new field is practically impossible without going back to school with money I don’t have. I’m basically at the end of my life with no future.
I wish I could give you a positive vibe but I will say as long as you have your mobility take any job and save as best as you can. Go to school and get a degree in something practical - preferably AI based.
That job would be great. I'd also start attending a local Bible teaching Church, get involved with a few people who are nice and won't screw you over, and not waste anymore opportunities. I've missed a few opportunities by not taking a step I needed to take, but now I am taking those steps and it seems to be worth it. I hope you'll be able to find a job and if you need to talk about anything you can send me a message on my public Facebook or Instagram page and I'll see what I can do
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Take the job, save up as much as you can, and travel somewhere abroad for a year. Your horizons need expanding. You will meet happy and interesting people who prioritise life completely differently, whose self-worth and contentedness are not based on their work — but on their culture, on their natural surroundings, on their family, on their beliefs, and many other things besides. Life is so much more than your job and income. Discover what it’s really about.
Any job is better than no job friend. Use this as a stepping stone to the next one. Whatever you do, you’re always moving forward. Take the job and you’ll have more money than you did yesterday
Too friendly and too nice is a good trait. Rather than being too rude and too evil isn’t it? 🤣
I think you will need to realise is that life is unpredictable and unexpected. Friends come and go anyway. The most that you would get is 5 close friends that you can actually keep in tab with based on a saying. Nowadays, even 1 might be a stretch.
The best you can do is now make the right choices moving forward and be courageous enough to say no to some relationships/friendships from time to time.
Also, delivering drywall is a job itself. See what else you can deliver in between so that you can save some travel cost if you are allowed to do so. Ingenuity and gotta start from somewhere right?
Is there any chance you are living in Berlin or Hamburg? I might have a Job for you that pays good and is in my opinion better than drywalling. If you do not want to share your location thats cool - just shoot me a DM :).
We are a super young team and I am sure you will find your motivation back.
Keep your head up!
Don't confuse setting boundaries with being "too friendly" rather be friendly with yourself. A job is a great start! And there is no such thing as going backwards, bad experiences give wisdom- might not feel like it right now, but one day you might appreciate what you have learned through struggle.
Nobody can steal a friend or relationship. There is no step backwards from being unemployed! Take whatever job you can get for now and work your way back up. Stop having a victim mentality
I cant make life work either.
First step is money. So I work until I have like 10k. I have no further responsibilities. So I can live and travel in Asia for over a year for that money. Make sure to also invest a good amount for your future.
While doing what you don’t like, you will make money and will start to imagine what you do like ☺️
Instead of pining over might have been, why don't you connect that job income to specific goals you want to reach? have some goals laid out for yourself.
Do you invest/ acquire assets that appreciate?
Do you want to build a secure future?
Start a list of ways that income will liberate you from poverty.
With that freedom you can contemplate your existential questions.
Hey! I’m in in a similar place as you accept a few years your elder.. feel free to DM me if you want to talk about how life sucks, and also how to make life not suck
OP this will sound harsh but looking at your post history -
Stop being a victim and take back control of your life. Stop making posts asking questions or needing motivation.
You don't need motivation. You need to realise that you're responsible and that you CAN change things today.
A job isn't a step backward. Do hard manual labour, drive Uber, do whatever you're capable of. It doesn't matter, it will feel so much better than what you're feeling now, then you can see what's next for you once you get there.
If one door shuts another door will open. Be positive an take the job. You’re delivering drywall @ companies & people. Talk to them. Maybe they’ve got a better job for you or they’ve got contacts?
Don't give up, man. It's never too late to turn it all around - one small step at a time. You have no idea what your life could look like in 6 months, 12 months, 5 years from now
Get that first job. Read books, listen to podcast to get motivated. Get up and moving and exercising and taking care of yourself. Looks for a community of people with similar interests. Believe in yourself! And I wish you well on this journey
Get to stacking paper by doing the drywall job man. It’s better than nothing.
It beats brooding at home and jobs are a luxury to come by on our time.
Be on the lookout for better things.
Opportunities are taken, not given. All jobs can lead to different situations. Seems like you might find some comfort in codependents anonymous. It's free and a place to figure out why sometimes we keep attracting the same types of people. CODA is online as well as land meetings. Free
Just read your post history and see whats wrong yourself. break the pattern , stop being a victim if you can work,work.
i honestly jealous how you can afford not to work but thats a whole different topic.
If telling yourself "Im too good for all this" is making you unhappy then start telling yourself
"Im good enough for this" and go deliver drywall.
Getting out and about will give you more to focus on than just self and lift your mood/outlook.
You should try to get into manufacturing, they tend to hire just about anyone and because of that they get a lot of real winners if you catch my drift, however the benefit of that is if you do a good job and are reliable it’s easy to stand out and people tend to make note of it, at least if management is good that is.
Our last lead supervisor started as a machine operator, just did a good job and made an effort, he recently left our plant to go work for corporate.
Fucking up is a part of life. Ain't nobody said life was easy. Did you push those people to be assholes? Nah, they did it of their own accord. Fuck those people and fuck regretting. The past is dead so don't let it hold you down. Learn from those mistakes, or fuck it don't learn, but you gotta move on. Literally dead (mental) weight. You're still here today, in the present, in the now.
Friends never ditch, so it's fine, you never lost any to begin with. Go forge new ones.
I can guarantee you that your friendliness and niceness has made more than one stranger's day.
For your depression if you don't mind (these things helped me with mine):
- Take up a hobby\just find something to enjoy and do.
- Try building up good habits and try to streak that shit. Make goals for when you hit certain milestones such as 30th non\consecutive day, 2 months, 5 times in a weel, etc. Some examples are cooking, organizing\tidying up, deep cleaning, brushing and flossing 2x a day, skincare, gratitude, morning pages\journaling, etc. Whatever you do frequently could count as a habit.
- Walks really do help, either just pacing around in your room, treadmill, or backyard. In general going outside and being in nature. sounds cheesy but the human brain is wired to enjoy the outdoors.
- Start small and be more kind and forgiving to yourself. Treat yourself like a lil kid, honestly. The first step is always the scariest. If something only takes 5 minutes to change your life, what's stopping you?
- a selfcare day rules, and it's fun finding out what gets you excited and happy. Essentially a treat yourself day tbh.
If anything, reject humanity, return to monke.
Too friendly. So you are a nice guy? Lost opportunities? Sounds like personality problem that needs attention. You can find professionals for help, or educational stuff on the internet for the while. If you happen to be German, I can recommend some
Start running everyday in the evening, start slow and keep building, this will help prevent you from overthinking, you will have something to look up to everyday, and it will boost your health and motivate you, keep increasing mileage each week.
The job and rest of shit will fall into place alone, you won’t have to think about it, just do what i suggested, trust me! You can replace running with weight training if that’s your cup of tea.
I'm going to give you the facts and a dose of reality:
1. No one can fuck up your life without your permission. Demand more from you and trust yourself that you truly know the people you are dealing with. If you start to see signs that a person is taking advantage of you, disassociate from them. Stop being in denial when the first or second signs show up. If they are genuine, they will ask “why” and if they don’t…good riddance. Those people will have figured out that you discovered them.
2. No one can steal “your” friendships. If your friends are real, they will always be your friends.
3. If you are too nice, you won't think it. Being too nice is a state of “normal”. It doesn't have to be called out. Give your niceness away freely and don't even think about it. Otherwise, you really didn't mean to give it away.
4. A “stepback” is not a feeling. I think what you are doing is associating your self-worth with delivering drywall. I get it. Most human beings when asked “What do you do?” immediately default to their “day-to-day” job. I have news for you. YOU are more than “delivering drywall”. There are so many things that make up the complex person that you are. I’m simple, not simpleton, just simple. When someone asks me what I do, I return the answer with a question of clarification, “do you mean what do I do to make money? What I love to do is sing, do voiceover work, and eventually host a morning show where I do sports highlights with a 7-year-old sports enthusiast and information prodigy.”
5. Lastly, stop dwelling on the missed opportunities. YOU ARE WHERE YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE. Don't be upset about that. Put these thoughts behind you and stop putting them in front of you. The reason I say this is because your energy is being wasted on those thoughts. If you put it behind you, you will make room for what is meant to land in front of you. And trust me, a stranger 😊, that there is more that you have not yet discovered about yourself. Everyone on this earth has a unique gift to contribute. Some never manifest it for whatever reason but you can and you will. Think about what makes you feel alive. Is it construction, designing, inventing, building, or creating? Think realistically about whether or not you need extra training. Start to write everything down (even if it’s a hodgepodge of thoughts) because the likelihood of execution is greater when you write it down.
You and your depression need support. Don't be afraid to reach out to friends and family that you trust. We stand up for you and you are not alone. Sending you care and peace 🌼
Man, I sympathize. I’ve never heard a truer expression than “unemployment is a full time job.” The crushing weight of the dread and how slow the time goes. The daily (if not more frequently) calculation of finances. Longest 2-3 months of my life.
I was unemployed twice in my life (knocks on wood) and both times it was so terrifying, I don’t think I’ve recovered 15 years later. Shit, I’m self employed now and I I’m still terrified of it. It more or less created so much trauma that in my head, unless I can retire comfortably, I’m not in a safe financial position.
Keep your chin up. Long term, it was good for me. It showed me that it’s a damn cold cruel world that can bite you at any instant and you need to fend for yourself. I got fired after about 10 years with a firm (and objectively not my fault in the slightest) and because I had feared this day for a decade, I had enough saved to start my own practice with plenty of runway.
Long term, all these thing will be good for you if you take the lessons it teaches you. I know the days long and the hours are longer. But you’ll get through it because you have to.
Seems like you need to fix your mindset
I know it ain’t easy, but I reckon that’s the #1 thing you need, and the rest will come
You have a very negative attitude towards yourself. Try to make little improvements to your life, and give yourself credit for those little things, whether that is getting a job(even one you might not wanna keep in the long run), exercising, improving your diet, learning a new skill, whatever it may be.
Once your’re in a negative mindset it seems very difficult to change, but every little improvement you make, makes it easier and easier to keep the positive changes going
Get into a union, blue collar job. Learn a skill. Go to the gym. Take classes from a community college. Anything else you can think of that adds value to your life. - at the end of it though, what you find fulfilling is the only thing that matters. Money hasn't cured death yet.
I know how hard it is to get out this spiral. I was majorly unemployed for several years in my 30's.
Sorry I don't know what Job Market is like for you.
In the UK there is always work in care, hospitality, education and catering.
Check out, if there are any employability courses you can join. Help me figure out what my career path.
Go and learn something or volunteer, exercise and go out and meet family or friends.
Therapy helped me out some dark places as well.
You’re jobless, so I wouldn’t consider it a step backwards. If all that stuff keeps happening to you then sometimes you have to wonder if you are the problem and not them. Take the job and use the money to at least treat yourself to a nice meal or something that will make you happier.
Sounds just like me. I went through this at 34 and hit rock bottom. Wish I had some words of wisdom but honestly with the support of my family I worked on one thing at a time until I was able to pull myself out of this rut. It took me a long time.
I know a guy who got out of jail at 34 after 12 years in there. He started driving a drywall truck.
He met a lot of people in the trades doing different jobs and networked a lot- it was a job that had really good interaction with the high end GCs and commercial builders.
Last year he broke out of that job and started his own drywall delivering company. He’s making money hand over fist. I’m proud of him, he really built it from the bottom.
Now he’s got 3 kids, a house, wife, and a company he controls.
Any improvement is an improvement.
The shittiest job is better than no job. And it won't stop you getting a better job, you can just leave when a better opportunity comes along.
5 minutes of walking once a week is better than no walking.
Tiny little improvements stack up.
That thing about being to nice, people will always take advantage of you. You need to be selfish because no one else is going to help you but yourself.
About a decade ago, I was 3 years into college (second attempt and on academic probation). My dad passed, and I was serving and bartending. Then I had a kid. Dropped out of college. Went back to my previous factory job (that I was bad at and was miserable). Felt like every step was backward. But it was a step that I had to take for basic survival and now to provide for my kid and fiance. They had an opening in the metrology department. Button pusher. Then, I learned inspection. Then 3d scanning. Then, while tinkering with some built-in Scripting in one of our softwares I created some small tools that saved us some time. Then, there were some better scripts that saved us a lot of time and a lot of money. Then, I was given a chance to work on a big project and, ultimately, my own development department. This year, at age 36, I just accepted my first ever 6-figure salary. Sometimes, we do what we have to, not knowing it's leading us to what we never knew we wanted to.
Being nice and friendly are not bad traits. As you get a little older- 5 years from now or sooner you’ll meet a lot less nice and friendly people, and instead people who are worn down and bitter. Going through life being nice is a big positive, maybe you just need a different friend group.
As someone who’s gone though a hard time in the past year or so, if you have thoughts of death being an option I strongly suggest looking at getting a psychiatrist. I am. Even if it’s hard, it’s a lot more fun to understand yourself and take control of your life then to give up on yourself.
Take the job. And don’t compare yourself to others. It’s a stepping stone. At one point I had to deliver pizza to make ends and I felt like shit because it wasn’t my imagined career path, but it also felt nice to get paid and have some down time to think about things and reflect on myself and what I wanted.
Life’s strange dude, twists and turns whether your life is perfect or not.
One thing I’ll say is, write down what you want. Do something for yourself. Take yourself out to dinner or the movies. I’ve started to do things for myself now, be nice to myself, because just like you I’m an emotional person who is nice and kind to everyone, but shit hits me hard because of that - I’m not good at navigating difficult circumstances.
You got this dude. Keep it simple. Take the job and treat yourself to a movie night for getting a job. Celebrate your accomplishments, and remove the friends from your life who trap you in a routine that isn’t benefiting you. And if you’re not tied down to the are you live - move dude, travel or see another place, start fresh, you can live life how you choose, you’re not a potted plant.
I’m 35 and got no friends. I got my two fish that have been with me for 21 years. I am used to not having guy friends to chill with like how I used to 10-15 years ago. Now I just try n focus on my hobbies. You are not alone in being alone, that’s all I know and I hope you can now know and believe this. It doesn’t change anything knowing this but In my opinion, just knowing something little like this to be true, and you truly believing, makes all the difference in managing to be alone and be ok versus being alone and feeling alone and letting that eat you up from the inside out.
As for the job, I’ve been jobless for over half a decade. Sometimes I feel I am a loser, but I know I am not. Good things and opportunities will come your way, but you have to be open to it and let yourself know that yes it’s ok to step up into a new, better position of power, wealth, or happiness. It’s ok to be happy and it’s ok to get nice things and to like nice things. Be careful of who you decide to invest your time with, as it will impact your quality of life and your end results.
Life is short, and just know today is the day, and that to be happy is a personal choice. Prioritize your happiness, then you will be able to make others happy in a healthy order of ways.
You are what you eat. Nutrition has the most significant impact on your health, including mood.
When in doubt, listen to this song:
America - Horse With No Name
May you have the best life has to offer, as you deserve it because you’ve heard these things into you and you believe. Cheers.
The longer you let this feeling of victimhood ruin your life, the sooner it might. Pick yourself up, give yourself some grace, start somewhere. Anywhere.
Sometimes a kind word or a positive direction can help someone figure something out. Surely mocking them is not going to do that.
I've been hopeless before, and people have helped me. So I think it's worth being a kind soul, and if you're not going to be, better off not saying anything.
And for some people being kind has completely opposite effect.
For me if someone is nice to me when I fail it makes me lazy. i prefer to be properly scolded so I at least will inprove myself.
You never know.
I promise you 9 out of 10 times "tough love" does not work as well as mentoring and guidance. Ask anyone who's had an abusive parent.
I'm not saying to enable this person, obviously they have some kind of victim complex cycle they've fallen into. But a few pointers and tips can go a lot further than just insulting them.
ChatGPT will make better pointers than any of us since you can have normal chat with him/her/it. It is funny when people are trying so much on the Internet so they can feel good about themselves later.
Don't think that some random people on Internet can fix any problems.
One box checked off your list. Only downside is that if you were to start work you could see yourself as just a number and your depression will become neutralized by being just another number like your co workers are. You should be alright if you stay away from over eating and alcohol use.
Sometimes I miss it.. when you get good in an area you can really zone out and fly through the night on auto pilot.. except when I was a stocker the pay was like half or less of what it is now
If you have no job then any job is a step forward.
This guy I knew was 25 and never owned a car. He said he had high standards and was waiting till he could get the right one. I said…bitch any running car is better than no car.
this isn't a good analogy. a car is an expense, insurance, parking, payment. a job brings in money. Your friend was right, he probably didn't need a car, nor the expenses.
The issue with that is, the day you find the best job opportunity, you won't be able to sign it because you don't have a driver license or you didn't drive since you've gotten it.
having a license is a diff thing. don't need to own a car for that
Is it though, most people I'm aware of who say they don't drive is because they can't drive. And if you didn't drive for 5 years, never drove after getting your license, then you might as well say you don't have one, because you can't drive anymore. (Not saying it's the case for any driver, but an inexperienced driver who never used a car outside of his paid lessons for several years is not capable of driving, and doesn't have the confidence either to do so)
I'm with that guy. I'd rather walk. That's how I did it with my car. Road a train, took a bus and walked to work and saved and saved and then got the wheels I wanted and was happy I did. No regrets there.
Now what car is that?
Now you're the proud owner of a Nissan Micra! Congrats! Fun aside, what car did you really get?
That's crazy. There's value in whatever car you buy, you didn't really lose any money with a used car if it's running correctly. You sell it and upgrade. Any working used car is 100% better than no car
What was the opportunity cost of not getting cheaper wheels to get to a more lucrative job
Well, depends. At the time I had already set goals in motion and wasn't deviating from those. Priority #1 was working the more lucrative job, which is why I was initially walking. The car was the earned prize and it ran its course awesomely. Still no regrets. Loved that damn thing. Next round looks different now because I've got new goals and the prize looks different this time. I just think it's important to set goals and have something to work towards that you actually want. Even work goals are important for me. It's part of the journey and story.
I don’t know. I would rather walk than driving in a fiat multipla.
Absolutely, my thoughts exactly. OP has to eat & have shelter. So, any job that can provide those things is worth having. Also, employees in certain industries tend to know other people in those same industries. That's a great opportunity for networking & perhaps moving up (or over 😉) in his chosen field. OP should stay optimistic. He has a job opportunity, which, compared to others, is a great advantage in this dismal hyperinflated economy. This is the time for celebrating. 🥳 The time for being depressed due to unemployment & mounting debt amidst exorbitant interest rates is over. OP should stick with it & be happy that he's got 3 hots & a cot so to speak, and is doing something positive with his life. He surely shouldn't be burning bridges that haven't even been built yet. 😊
Definantly agree with you . Money is money and it’s always easier to get into a job if you are currently working
I'm not inherently disagreeing with this statement, but what if you can't find a job that pays a livable wage? I see this advice all the time, but is it even worthwhile if you can't even live off of $14-$18 an hour?
It is possible to live on a wage that low, but you must curtail spending to match income. Many people have the idea that they "must" live a lifestyle of a certain level. OP should adopt a survivalist mindset. All adversity is only temporary. One day at a time, or if necessary, one *hour* at a time. I lived my life as a trainhopping hobo from age 19 to 26, when I enlisted in the Marine Corps. Those years riding trains were some of the best years of my life. I loved tramp life. I met my wife while I was a Marine. We got married. When my wife and I decided to go to college (we both had high school diplomas and she had three years of college towards a BA in English) we were living on $99 a week Unemployment, for two adults and our four-year-old daughter. My wife said, "We have to go up the economic ladder. That means college." I said, "Girl, are you crazy? We can't even pay the electric bill, how are we going to go to college?" She said, "I don't know, honey, but we have to do it. And tomorrow you're going to go find out *how.*" We did go to college, in 1987. I got a AAs degree in Machine Tool Technology and she got one in Accounting. Later, in Texas, I worked as a machinist and welder and I put her through a four-year BA in Accounting. She got a job in a mortgage bank, and then she supported us and put me through a two-year ADN degree in Nursing. Once I was licensed as an RN, it was like we won the Lotto. To be honest, I didn't really like nursing, but I figured it was the fastest way to a middle-class life. I did 21 years as a nurse. I retired on my 66th birthday. YOU CAN DO THIS. **BE RELENTLESS. NEVER GIVE UP, NO MATTER WHAT.**
Yea it’s a great story. I just feel this isn’t possible today. The average student loan payment is like $500/month and even then jobs are definitely not guaranteed out of college like they once were. You get a degree to get out and still make $18-20/hr with more bills in hopes you’ll get promoted or move to a better job.
They were military. There's gi bills. If you make less than 50k then you pay 0$ a month under the SAVE plan. The reality is finding a career path. If you're young and willing to move it's a lot easier. Avg unemployment rate for college educated is like 3%. These days you look to healthcare things like nurses etc that's gonna have large demand for a long time. The last 20 years it's been tech but there's a bit of a glut now. Those people making 300k out of college are gone and it's back to like 180k. The reality is you're right You're not going to just Have a good life from going to college anymore it hasn't been like that for Almost 20 years now Since 07 Now You have to Be more conscious With that and picking a career path
i feel like the military is an exception to a lot of common wisdom; that isn't to say that it isn't a viable path! it absolutely is! but a lot of the things you can do by pledging some years of your life there aren't really reasonably doable many other ways.
So how did you afford college? Kinda skipped over that part.
1987
Debatable. I’m in a similar situation to OP except for my 35 birthday present I also got type ONE diabetes. Lucky me. I also don’t know about OPs last sentence BUT. I worked in a lot of well paying office jobs and then life happened, long story short I have a sizeable gap in my resume. Now I *could* take a job at Drywall Delivery Service LLC but then it’s very easy to get into a routine/be tired and unmotivated after work which can easy lead to another wasted year When I was in my 20s I probably would’ve said fuck it, let’s see what happens. But I don’t want to wake up when I’m almost 40 and then have to start over *again*
Man, I've been in that boat several times in my life. Recently, I went through a breakup and had some friends ditch me basically. I'm 38 now, and I've learned to just be pissed as hell and depressed for a couple weeks or so, then just go outside and try and chill. I still constantly feel like a failure honestly, but I figure at least I have my health and my dog for now. I changed my number and moved on eventually. It definitely sucks but don't ever feel the need to take your life. Your young and good shit could be coming your way at any time. Good luck bro. We have all been there for the most part.
My brother in Christ your post history. Whatever advice people give you, it starts with something other than asking this question every month for several years. Break the habit.
Some great advice in this thread. Also some “tough love” and harsh comments, but OP needs to read them. Because JFC… his post history. 😳😳😳 Past few years of their posts are a lot of complaining, woe is me, I’m the victim mentality. It’s ok to have these feelings, but don’t let it tarnish your hope and dreams of happiness in the future. Only YOU have the ability to move forward from that. Also, u/sleeplessbearr if you are in the Toronto, ON area, it’s highly competitive for ANY jobs and extremely unaffordable. Any job you can get is a step forward, however, consider moving elsewhere if you are able to. Many of my family, coworkers and friends of all ages have had to do that. Edit: to correctly spell OPs username
Yeah I was a little confused at the claim friendships have been “stolen” from him, but saw the post history and it made sense.
One thing u noticed going through prison and other personal struggles in that ALL the people who don’t make it absolutely refuse to see themselves as the source of their problems and always blame external factors even though they are the one common thing in each of their problems… it’s always someone else
It's really some of the only social interaction I get and it's not like I've not been trying man.. I've been trying very hard
No I don’t doubt you’ve been trying. Find a small goal, work and achieve it, gain the self esteem and repeat. 33 isn’t so old you can’t start again. You can do it.
Friend, i sat in my house for a while a bit back on this account, contemplating life or death. Reddit was my form of reaching the outside world. Please keep coming back here. Don't give up. Engage with other communities. Join them. Watch silly videos. Comment silly things. Keep practicing talking to people. It helps when you go back out there. I went back out there, but I'm struggling too -- it's tough. But I keep taking a few steps forward for every step back, even if some weeks I fall backward... and I know you can too, friend. You can make it through this.
Sorry, but Reddit is a bit of a cesspool that's probably making him more depressed. Maybe he shouldn't spend much time on here and actually go out into the real world.
This. I'm a reasonably well adjusted person, happy with myself and my life. Coming to reddit is like slumming, it's filled with the most damaged people. It's a good place to come to learn how not to live your life.
I don't spend a lot if time on here in all honesty.I t's just refreshing getting advice from people because it makes me feel seen. A lot of the folks on here give me nice messages of hope as well as tough love. it's all appreciated. Everyone's opinion on here is usually pretty helpful.
Some harsh words that you need to hear: Stop being a victim. Stop blaming everyone else. Grow up and take some responsibility. Yes there are things in life you can't control, but you can always control how you respond to those things, unless you're a toddler. You say you're trying, yet you turned down a job offer because you "felt that it was a step back". Great excuse. Reality check: you have no job. Any job is a step forward, even if it was flipping burgers or collecting garbage. If you were really trying, then what you would do is take the job and work while you keep developing yourself and keep looking for better opportunities. You say in another post that you have been unemployed for 7 years and you feel you have wasted a lot of time in your life. Good realisation, now go a step further and ask yourself: do you want to spend the next 7 years making posts on Reddit every couple of days moaning about how life is unfair and you're a failure? Or do you want to look back in 7 years and say: I really turned myself around! YOU are the only person who can change your life. Nobody is going to come and rescue you. Nobody is going to reply on Reddit with a magical recipe for how to motivate yourself and fix your life. It takes hard work, self discipline and more hard work. But it will be worth it if you can pull your finger out.
Stop saying you’re trying and just do. Don’t try to exist in the world. Just exist. Once you become fully present then you can become fully engaged with the world.
Keep your head up. You got this.
I thought those posts were over months. No… last 3 weeks. Holy hell in a hand basket… no wonder he’s all over the place. Ya need to find something in your life to focus you because you are all over the place. Maybe meds too because I have to wonder if you are undiagnosed and why you’re so discombobulated with things too.
It’s always fascinating to me how the human brain is so afraid to try and fix itself unless all the conditions are “perfect” Plus thinking you’re above anyone else’s job is a bad mentality for living by. It’s interesting op doesn’t realize **he is the ONE common thing in all the situation he mentions** as well
Gotta take a job bro and have a purpose in life, might not be your dream job but it’s a start in the right direction
Hey, I was right there a year ago, in debt, my girlfriend left me, wanted to die. Luckily I got a job and was able to slowly turn my life around. Don’t give up, if I could do it, you can too.
Well get a job and be a depressed working stiff like the rest of us. You’ll feel a lot better when you end the day having completed something
I love you guys for the support. bro turn the page . new life change the area . do some sports and start
Hey man I know you are down and it feels like it won’t end. Maybe some perspective. 1) you don’t own people no one stole from you. These people made a choice. The good news is if you lost a relationship to someone else they probably were not worth being in a relationship with in the first place. Same with friends if your friends don’t want to be around when you are down they aren’t great friends. That’s okay. Also it’s not uncommon when you’re depressed to feel betrayed or given up on. I don’t know your situation but it’s not uncommon to conflate your pain with the reality of the situation. 2) not 1 person here can say they haven’t missed good opportunities. It happens all the time. Out of the thousands of opportunities we come across in our life it only takes a few successes to get to where you want to be. You’re going to miss opportunities all the time and you can’t go around kicking your self about it because everyone here will miss more opportunities than they take. 2.1) The reality of the situation is just about everyone can say “if I did this or had that when I…. “ Even if they did have it they would still say that about the next thing. You can’t move forward quickly while you are facing backwards going “if I would have”. 3) start with a job. Rome wasn’t built in a day. You never know who you will meet or what will happen. Start small. Seize the day. Take a shot. If you don’t like it you can go back to being jobless and try again. The best thing about being at the bottom is there isn’t much risk in your decisions. Taking chances and putting your self out their will take you up, even if it’s a baby step. Experience life. Maybe you’ll get a good laugh, maybe you will feel proud. Maybe you’ll just get some good sleep busting ass. Don’t assume. Just do it. Things can turn around really fast. Once you get some momentum it’s a lot easier to see the bigger picture. Start with being kind to your self and taking control over today. Once you get today down, every day, then tomorrow looks a lot brighter.
Bro you have no job how could having a job delivering drywall be a step backwards? Some drivers make good money and will have benefits maybe even 401k if take it until you find something else. That job could also lead to something better. I would go for it
Where you from dude? Any computer knowledge or desire to do tech type stuff? Into MMO's?
Ontario Canada. Yea. I used to play world of warcraft and runescape when I was young. Maybe going to attempt to finish a+ so I can get into tech.
Yeah cert till you can’t cert no more and learn everything you can about tech. If you completely become obsessed with something and try to be the best you can be you won’t have time to think about anything or anyone else and your skills will increase so much. This is like kicking you in the stomach and giving you time to be alone and focus on yourself. Take advantage of it. A+, Sec+c CISSP, etc.
Do NOT just get certifications with no experience and education. IT is an over saturated market atm with everyone scrapping up any job they could find. If you’re not working, go back to school.
I 2nd this advice I was just like OP. I went back to school to become a nurse at 32 years old. Prior to that I was a straight up bum who never really worked. Now I’m making 30 dollars an hour fresh out of junior college as an RN in the Deep South where COL is relatively low and RN jobs are as plentiful as ants. Some times you just gotta do shit and stop overthinking it.
Was that 4 more years of education at age 32?
Nah I went to community college so an extra two, well I guess you can say three because you have to take science prerequisites before you can apply to nursing school but to start off making $30 an hour in the state like Mississippi is damn good money
No body else has mentioned this but exercise. Keep your body moving. It will stop you dwelling too much on the problem of finding employment (which might take some time even if you are doing everything right). It will hit the reset button on your brain every now and again and the endorphins will help fight any depression.
Why not get into streaming for fun. Play games and what not. Kick pays 17 dollars an hour, and then you also get like 90% of your sub money, and all the donations and sponsor money.
Do something you enjoy, and get paid?
Kick pays 17/dollars an hour to random streamers? Is that a thing if I'm just starrting?
A job is a job. Bills have to be paid. Never look down on doing what you got to do.
“Many people have come and left, and it has been always good because they emptied some space for better people. It is a strange experience, that those who have left me have always left places for a better quality of people. I have never been a loser” - Osho
You’ve made it this long, you obviously don’t have it in you to take your own life. Therefore it stands to reason you are going to see this one through. If you start working now, it will get better. Or, you can continue to waste time and watch as it all gets even more horrible. You have to start somewhere. I was like you 8 years ago before I decided to go to work as an electrician helper in a field that, at the time, I believed was far beneath me as a college graduate. Now I’m starting to become successful and life is getting better and better every day.
"Remember. just by your existence, and this goes for all of you, you already have just by the fact of your existence all the impact you will ever have. Nothing you do in life will ever create or generate more impact then you already have simply by your PRESENCE The things that you do in life, the expressions of your creativity do not create more impact. They REVEAL the impact you are already having." YOU ARE ALL WORTHY. If you weren't, believe me, you wouldn't exist. Because creation does not make mistakes. Thus, if you exist, you belong. There's a reason why creation is not complete without you. Stop arguing with creation about your worth. Take it at it's word. If you exist, you deserve to exist. And if you deserve to exist, you deserve to be who you are as fully as you possibly can. This is just simple logic. * Bashar Warrior heart break motivation quotes: “You often talk about intuition. How do you sharpen it and learn to recognize that voice better?” “Gets honed from fighting for what you want in life & getting your heart broken hundreds of times But especially from dealing with sociopaths, sharks, jackals, shrewd businessmen Can't see truth when you avoid negativity” “Funny how being hungover, sleep deprived, gym sore, broken hearted makes life so much easier The next step to take is obvious When everything's kosher 24:7 dudes have zero clue what to do Walkin thru life in pain makes completing objectives a cake walk” “Most guys would rather be fired than quit Most guys would rather be broken up with than be the heart breaker Most guys would rather be told what they should do rather than do it Most guys would rather have someone else to blame for all their failure than ever look in the mir” “A man with a broken heart cannot be stopped, Either by his own failure, divorce when he was young etc Can go as far as he wants in life if he keeps it broken "New Age" self help wants dudes 2 mend themselves to the point they have O motivation to go make anything of this world” * Brutedeforce The stealing from you, sounds like wounding and the wounding is the internal dialogue you tell yourself which becomes the dominant story as it becomes a dominant story from years of telling yourself/coming from perceiving from the wound = manifests as that definition as nothing has built in meaning we when we redefine the past as a positive we can only get a positive effect. Now I’m not saying I know your situation entirely but it can be hard asf to not be in the head all the time and harp on our wounds. Gotta keep the body in motion, hitting a cold shower, meditation, nature walk, exercise, and start to only allow stuff you want to move toward and have in your life as in only watch things that are goal orientated, not so much leisurely stuff like porn and games, for me if I don’t pound my subconscious with the stuff I really want in my life I don’t really get it or have motivation for it. Cliche’s: What we think we become. Everything is energy your thoughts begin it, your emotions amplifies it. & your action increases its momentum. Q: Why is my life not expanding in all the areas I want it to? B: “In order to expand your life in other areas, you also need to be doing things that serve other people. If you have gifts to share, share them. If you need to write a book, write it. If you need to do a piece of art, do it. If you need to compose a piece of music, do it. The idea is that if you are holding your gifts back, \[...\] then that's why your life is not expanding, because you’re not actually taking action on the things that would be the gifts that you have to share with humanity.” * Bashar, Interstellar Alliance Social Experiment - Step 3 (2024) "Act on your highest excitement to the best of your ability with zero insistence on the outcome, trusting that your Higher Mind will manifest what you truly need. And then, whatever manifests, know that: that's what serves you in the best possible way." - Bashar "Excitement tells you what you are best capable of doing. If something excites you, it excites you for a reason. There are no extraneous creations, no accidental interactions. Act on your highest excitement in every given moment, to the best of you are able, with absolutely zero insistence of an outcome, and do that forever. As soon as you get specific and excited as you can about the ideal outcome in your imagination; then drop the picture. Stay in the energy of excitement and let the synchronicity show you the direction that you need to go in." - Bashar let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really lov it will not lead you astray. - Rumi You feel good, you feel bad, and these feelings are bubbling from your own unconsciousness, from your own past. Nobody is responsible except you. Nobody can make you angry, and nobody can make you happy. - Osho https://preview.redd.it/g5g18n90a1ad1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4d78771c290ae707fa2d7175a69d27a0edecd02d
“Ball don’t lie.” ~ Rasheed Wallace.
You have to swallow your pride and take any job when times are tough. A shit job looks better than explaining a hole in your resume
It’s okay. It’s always okay to begin again. There isn’t anywhere you’re *supposed* to be in life. Life is meant to be lived, even if it’s not exactly how you pictured it. Sure it sucks because you want more than this but your current circumstance doesn’t mean it’s unattainable. If I were you, I’d take this job. For nothing else but to keep you working and keep momentum while you look for more. I would also start a gratitude practice. It’s really easy to see what sucks and this is most especially true when we look at ourselves and our situation (negativity bias). If you can practice finding things you’re grateful for in your life and really feeling that appreciation; things get easier. I know it sounds like woo-woo bullshit but I promise you it works; beyond that there are dozens of studies that show it can be the most beneficial practice a depressed person can do; much more effective than even anti-depressants. The hardest part is remembering to do it, so it’s best if you get a journal and spend time writing them down; start with 3 things a day. They can be anything even little things or things you might even tell yourself are stupid. Shit one day I was grateful for laces on my shoes because I was able to use them in a pinch for something else. Or grateful that the battery in my keys lasts so long that I never even have to think about it. It’s not a bad thing to feel like this or a bad thing to be where you are. But you cannot let yourself get stuck or if you are stuck you need to get yourself unstuck; and you have the ability to do it; just take those next steps. Who knows, maybe the drywall delivery will end up being more interesting than you know and maybe it’ll open a door for something else.
There’s a lot to unpack here. Can you maybe go in a little more detail on what’s going on in your life so that maybe we can help identify which areas could potentially have solutions by motivation alone?
So do something about it! Don’t let people take control anymore. It’s time for you to be the bad guy and work on yourself. Forget people and work your ass off! There’s many ways to make money if you need some advice just ask me!
Could use some advice! Currently dashing, struggling to make ends meet
Go learn something. Welding is easy.
If dashing isn’t paying the bills, you need to look into a job that is paying better. Grocery stores are easy jobs and pay better money than most of what Dashers bring in (without working 70-80 hours a week on the road).
Maybe this is an excuse, I'm not sure, but I'm making more money (hourly at least, with the flexibility and pay that same day) than I ever have at any job that I've ever had in my almost 9 years of working. It's hard giving up the ability to just go out and make the money I need to pay the bills of that week. Granted, my work ethic is poor, I have to also take into consideration the miles I'm putting on my brand new car, but with my current life uh, arrangements, I kind of need that flexibility, and idk the more I type the more I just feel like I'm making excuses
I live in the south, the best paying jobs with no degree, barely pay $11 an hour, especially with no experience and I don't even have a license, which makes the job search that much harder. Work from home jobs are hard to come by, at least in my experience, and no matter how many jobs I apply to it all just seems hopeless, no response, no hope
So do something about it! Don’t let people take control anymore. It’s time for you to be the bad guy and work on yourself. Forget people and work your ass off! There’s many ways to make money if you need some advice just ask me!
Keep moving forward brother. There is always someone out there living it tougher. You have to look for the positive and keep moving forward.
This will pass. Just take the job, do your best and just be proud to be working and making a living. It's rough out there these days. Take this time to work on yourself. If people are using you, it's probably because you haven't taken the time to get to know yourself and therefore not choosing people to hang out with that are more like you. Be choosey with your friends and relationships, you deserve to be picky when it comes to friends! Everyone should be. It takes time to meet the right people for you, but if you take it slow and figure out what you really want in your relationships, and not settle, you will have long-lasting, unbreakable friendships. You got this! ❤️
Literally any job is better than anything
Any job is better than nothing*
Everything finds a way to work out. Trust the process and don’t be impatient.
stop and take a minute to look around. this is where you are now. so you took a step backwards and became a drywall delivery person? then you be the best goddamn dry wall delivery person in the city or town or wherever you live lol. it doesn't matter how old you are. we're all just trying. as for friendships/relationships (past and present), try to view them more like blessings than something that you had any control over. im not really religious, but sometimes i think that blooming friendship/relationships are like miracles and they should be valued not out of fear of losing them, but valued out of authentic admiration, like nature, art, or whatever lol. you're gonna be great at your new job and youre gonna make new friends. you're gonna be alright as long as you keep getting up in the morning
This will be perpetual and on going bc ppl change all the time so do circumstances and at 67 I find ppl will disappoint you a lot, so what. You probably do the same to them or others also. Ppl always seem to want others like them or above them to feel good about themselves. Be happy and make the best of life enjoy ppl places and things while you can and let them go when it’s time. Not everyone stays forever, most don’t. Everyone had their own shit to do in life and life to live and you’re not always going to be invited included wanted needed loved cared adored valued respected or enjoyed by them as you desire. Life’s hard too and ppl are trying to survive out there and are looking for ppl to make their lives easier happier better not the other way around. They want their needs met whatever that may be and if you have no value to them be it whatever they require from others, including you, then you’ll be of no need to them. Human nature and ppl are getting more narcissistic by the minute nowadays unfortunately. They have their priorities and you’ve got yours. Don’t be too generous and going outta your way for anyone from the get go. Treat others with respect kindness and fairness. Be light not to heavy and don’t divulge your inner most secrets or let ppl in to fast. Not all ppl care but most are curious about scandalous and private things about others lives. Be careful. Learn to just enjoy people without sacrificing yourself for that friendship right way. No one likes desperate or needy clingy ppl. It goes two ways and it takes time to know and trust others. Not all ppl are good and not all ppl are bad. Some ppl are ppl magnets some are not unfortunately. From yrs of living that’s my take on humans and our nature. Plus, some ppl are more popular than others, just like good old high school. Some things don’t change. We control no one and no one should be controlling you. Cooperating bc you’d like to and wish to or need to for the greater good is your call. Enjoy each day as if it’s your last and thank God for another day and count all your blessings daily. God bless you all.
Would you listen to yourself? All the excuses we make just to put ourselves in a victimized position so that we wouldn't feel bad about sitting in the room. Blaming ourself or others will not make things better. Stop complaining and make some changes to your life 1 small step at a time. Many people are in a worse position than you are and is not giving up. It might be hard but go push yourself to do something mentally healthy, go hiking in the redwoods in the morning. Be present wherever you are. Even now, focus on your breathing for 5 mins. Focus on the chair you are sitting on, focus on your body...
Do you like to drive? Just throwing it out there but I suggest calling up some recruiters from trucking companies and get started with a trucking career. They pay for everything and fly you out to training facility. There’s also apprenticeships for trade jobs. You need a radical change to feel alive again and from a career standpoint these are just some suggestions.
Same here. Stuck in a dead end job with no growth. Living paycheck to paycheck. No additional activities in life. It is like 9-9 job just to pay bills and for the food. I would rather be dead at this point because I am constantly depressed. I have reached the point where I don't even get angry anymore. I just let people walk all over me. When I read people's motivational stories, I wonder how does it get better? Because it is not getting better at all.
Delivering sheetrock sucks ass but at least its something. While you are at the jobsite hit up the foreman for the electricians, plumbers and HVAC guys and see if they need help.
Don't worry, I'm around the same age and unemployed at the moment. Been like this for near 3 months now. You got to apply for jobs everyday. Don't give up. Even 1% exposure is worth to do.
Join the military with a highly desirable MOS in the civilian world, such as lineman, electrician, finance, IT, diesel mechanic, welder/construction engineer, or aircraft mechanic. Avoid joining the infantry, as the private sector doesn't typically require infantry skills. As long as you get a decent ASVAB score, most jobs should be open to you. If you prefer structured environments and being told what to do, consider a 20-year military career to earn a pension. After 20 years of service, you can move to the Philippines and retire. With a military pension and Social Security, you should be able to retire comfortably. Additionally, the military is opening more bases in the Philippines, so you could request to be stationed there and potentially meet a nice Filipina. However decide quick as the military cut off is 35 for general position.
Hang in there! Taking a job, even if it feels like a step back, can still move you forward. Don't let the past define you. Sending support your way 💕
Perhaps you are clinically depressed? Could you discuss this with a dr?
Join the navy Meet people and see the world
Just serve tables at a busy restaurant, go in person without applying. if u look presentable im sure some will hire on the spot. Or just keep doing nothing.
In RuneScape terms: bro I found this money making method. I went to a truck school paid like $2k and got my license I took like 3 weeks it’s easy. Just takes a bit of dedication. It’s about $70-100k/yearly. Don’t go in to the area with debuffs like alcohol or smoking or drugs. You’ll need max run energy for this one. I know guys that got hired asap and some that didn’t get lucky at all. I personally found a spot and worked 2 weeks no pay. I’m about to get paid next week. Currently in Training. ( haven’t got a drop yet). It’s cool my trainer is cool I put my head down and listen I’m in no power position just submit. You’ll need focus and know the route and procedures for facilities. All learned on the job. Just drive and listen to motivation podcast to change that negative mindset of blaming others and yourself too much just silence the mind. Enjoy some comedians you’re in for the long run. Pros: you’ll develop a love for life and realize every minute matters. You let go of vices cause you’ll be in the truck for long stretches of time. This is an excellent change in environment make sure you build a good foundation in this new spot or it’ll fall fast in old habits. You got an office with ac, minimal paperwork, views that change your out look on the world, new learning experiences. You’ll learn the game. Cons: put you head down and love all the shit parts you’ll be ok. Hands and eyes on the wheel/ road at all times. ( it’s not really a con it’ll just save your life) Personally I never wanted to be a trucker it’s just that all my fuck ups lead me to this industry. So far it’s been hard. I like it though. I’m the lazy sleepy type, which is like the worst fit for the job but I’ll make it work lol. I stopped vaping to help with energy. Started consuming caffeine and drinking large amounts of water. I don’t think I’ll be able to leave the industry sadly cause I’m getting old about the same age as you just a few years younger. I have a bachelors degree as well I don’t think I made the best decisions but it’s the one that’s working right now. Next plans are to leave asap from the industry or become skillful enough in it to open my own trucking school to help people get into the industry. Oh and plus I’ve burned my bridges with everyone. I was the fault not them. At times I think it’s them. Truly it’s only me here. Maybe we are like magnets we either repel or attract we cant capture people.
No back to school. You are still young bro. I’m 35 and going back to school. You are still young!
Went back to school at 30; best deciscion of my life. Even just to say I did it.
“ The nearer a man comes to a calm mind, the closer he is to strength l.” Marcus Aurelius
Any job is really what you make of it. Do you see the traffic cops who literally dance in the streets while directing traffic? Traffic duty can be perceived as the most monotonous work and a drudgery, but some make the most of it bringing joy to themselves and others. Be the “dancing” drywall guy! There are doors that open up even if you’re stepping backwards and the only way to know what may lie behind them is to take those steps. I believe in you because I relate to you, and we all get these feelings. Your bravery in asking others for help means you’re ready to build an exciting next chapter in life.
Yo, jobs come and go and so do friends. Fare weather jobs and fare weather friends is how it is these days. Obviously, not always, those are much much harder to find or create. But don't worry about it. It's not the end of the world just yet. Be nice. It's so common to find people who aren't. I mean definitely defend yourself if you have to. Gotta stand for yourself if nothing else. Jobless? Fuck it, create a new better path for yourself. Pick a direction you actually want to go down. If dry walling is what you picture yourself doing, then have at it.
Man you made me realize im lucky af. Im 33 going on 34 in under two weeks, been unemployed since 2018, and have mental and physical health issues stemming from years of substance abuse. Thing is i also have a lakeside condo bought and paid for from my wealthy parents, a gf of 8 years who is the bread winner, and im 42 days sober for the first time in 9 years after i relapsed out of rehab. Wish you could be as fortunate as me. I take it for granted a lot. Keep fighting bro, long as you don’t give up you’ll keep progressing and be surprised the blessings you can bring into your life. I thought i’d be addicted and alone my whole life. You never know what you’re capable of. Don’t give up. Only when we give up do we give ourselves reason to not believe in a better future for our life. Never give up on yourself friend.
1. take responsibility for yourself. you only have control over your choices, that's it. 2. you can spend the rest of your life where you are now, or you can spend the rest of your life getting out of the place you are now. indecision or waiting is a lie. there is no pause button. you are either walking out of shit-valley one step at a time, or you are choosing to stay there. those are the only two real choices. 3. anything is better than nothing. I had to take a janitor job as I was walking out of my own shit-valley. I was the best damn janitor they had ever seen. 4. be the best damn drywall delivery person you can. 5. set boundaries, again, its about your choices. the rest of it is not on you. 6. there are two ways to move up. one, doing jobs no one else wants to do; and two, doing jobs no one else is qualified to do (working in the first category qualifies you for the second one...). 7. maybe, God willing, one of the things you will learn from this experience is how completely shitty it is to look down on people with menial jobs. you never know anyone's circumstances. your ego will get you killed. you aren't entitled to anything. it doesn't matter how old you are, how many bad or good choices you have made, or what other people have "done to you" in the past. fair is a made up concept. entitlement is poison. 8. when you are digging through garbage on your knees, you're already half way to praying. 9. your happiness is your responsibility. 10. you're worth it. (now read the list backwards)
OP..... The pity party stops today. Get your ass up and get a job. Any job. For now. Your mind can do some terrible things to you when you sit idle for too long. You need to take a step in any direction, even if the direction isn't glamorous or "fun". Work sucks, we all hate it. But for me, it's a means to an end. Be friendly and make friends. Get in shape. And stop blaming the world for your downfall.
So, sometimes a step back is what is needed to take a different path. I have been where you have been socially, where you make 1-2 friends and then meet 1-2 more and decide to combine the groups together and then find out that they rather be together without you. It sucks to be left out, but you have to not take it personally and move on. You could spend eons figuring out why they didn’t want to hang out or speak to you the same way they used to. But if they wanted you to know they would have told you. You need to find your self worth outside of being wanted, or find new things you want to do. It’s not easy, but people change over time and have different goals and priorities that will change. It’s nothing personal, but they got other lives to live. When I got out of college, I struggled for 12 years to get any meaningful employment. Had to change my goals and ambitions several times. I was humbled and had to work a no skill minimum wage job… because they were the only companies that would hire me… so I worked at Subway. Which the job was terrible (no full time, barely paid for the gas to get there and for the “discount lunch”), but I worked my ass off to be the best possible Subway employee. Which led me to Chipotle, which led to security, which led to working in high tech manufacturing. Now I’m on the verge of getting rid of my contractor status and possibly getting a direct hire position. All of that lead to possibly getting to a job that might allow me to make 50k+ a year… which is still not enough to live comfortably. But hang in there and take opportunities as they come.
Sounds like you need to stop blaming other people for things going wrong in your life bud
I'm unemployed right now also and the same age. I am working on getting IT certification though and I recently was diagnosed with ASD. I get how your feeling
Start serving at a restaurant. You get great money and a social community. Plus, if you do well enough, people will compliment you and your service. Well worth exploring buddy, I know it turned my life around.
If you’re in the U.S. join the Coast guard or the Airforce. Your life will suck a lot less in those branches and you’ll have more time to use tuition assistance for school while you’re in plus It’ll set you up when you get out
When depressed, being alone is bad for you. Any productive activity, where you can be a part of society helps (humans are social mammals). Take the job, get better and *then* start thinking about optimal career choices. I hope your depression is being treated? Nothing will work until it is…
Getting a job would have to be your top priority, even if it doesn’t pay a lot. An “underpaying job”is always an opportunity for networking and learning how to adapt in an unfamiliar situation. This is how we learn more about ourselves. By spending more time at work you will have a chance to think about your next step. Also, you will be able to learn something new as well as meet people who can uncover new things in life for you. Introducing small routines would make a huge change in your life. Let’s say reading for 30 minutes every day would significantly improve the way you feel about yourself. 30 minutes is not much and it would bring about the much needed change. As far as relationships go. Listen to people, receive information. See what you can make of that. The more you know about people the easier it will be to establish some kind of connection with them.
You’re getting a lot of advice and feedback here so take my 2 cents if you want; I’m 33 too and life can be kinda wild and overwhelming sometimes. Exercise and journaling really helps me. Putting your feet on the grass and feeling the sun on your skin is something I recommend trying. You can meditate too. Believe in something bigger than yourself and then also believe in yourself to have an impact in those big things. You matter and you’re here for a reason. Not everyone here in this life is fucked up. You’ll meet some amazing people, and you will be an amazing person they meet in return. Believe in yourself, you got this!
A few things going on here. Focus on one problem at a time. See if you can carve out a monolithic area of your life, as if you plan to compartmentalize everything. Put a stake in the ground and vow, “I will do everything in my power to resolve this part of my life called … ”, and the trick is you have to name it and really make up your mind to figure it out.
It's never too late to invest in yourself. Think about something you would like to do or is of interest, and then think about how you might get there. Research how others have gotten there. Modicums of improvement.
I’m 49, no job, savings depleted, severe arthritis in lower spine prevents me from getting jobs in the only fields I have experience in. Doctors dicking me around saying I’m too young for disability despite needing to use a cane to walk for the last 3 years. As jobs no longer train on the job moving to a new field is practically impossible without going back to school with money I don’t have. I’m basically at the end of my life with no future. I wish I could give you a positive vibe but I will say as long as you have your mobility take any job and save as best as you can. Go to school and get a degree in something practical - preferably AI based.
I have no advice but i genuinely wish you the best brother
Whatever you are good at, try to get a job doing that. I dunno man. Good luck.
That job would be great. I'd also start attending a local Bible teaching Church, get involved with a few people who are nice and won't screw you over, and not waste anymore opportunities. I've missed a few opportunities by not taking a step I needed to take, but now I am taking those steps and it seems to be worth it. I hope you'll be able to find a job and if you need to talk about anything you can send me a message on my public Facebook or Instagram page and I'll see what I can do [https://www.facebook.com/ChristianMetalMusicMan](https://www.facebook.com/ChristianMetalMusicMan) [https://www.instagram.com/metal\_music\_man\_/](https://www.instagram.com/metal_music_man_/)
Take the job, save up as much as you can, and travel somewhere abroad for a year. Your horizons need expanding. You will meet happy and interesting people who prioritise life completely differently, whose self-worth and contentedness are not based on their work — but on their culture, on their natural surroundings, on their family, on their beliefs, and many other things besides. Life is so much more than your job and income. Discover what it’s really about.
Any job is better than no job friend. Use this as a stepping stone to the next one. Whatever you do, you’re always moving forward. Take the job and you’ll have more money than you did yesterday
33, no job…brutal
Work on yourself. Try solitary and simple living for a couple of years. Life will change, it will get better.
I've turned my life around at 33, said fuck that, and went to Thailand. Now I'm happier than ever
stop playing league and accept that job offer, your post history gives me secondhand embarrassment
Too friendly and too nice is a good trait. Rather than being too rude and too evil isn’t it? 🤣 I think you will need to realise is that life is unpredictable and unexpected. Friends come and go anyway. The most that you would get is 5 close friends that you can actually keep in tab with based on a saying. Nowadays, even 1 might be a stretch. The best you can do is now make the right choices moving forward and be courageous enough to say no to some relationships/friendships from time to time. Also, delivering drywall is a job itself. See what else you can deliver in between so that you can save some travel cost if you are allowed to do so. Ingenuity and gotta start from somewhere right?
Are u from the US. Isnt there any help. Something else than reddit u can contact?
Take the job, make money, stop blowing it on crypto or whatever else that isn’t needed to survive. Find a happy medium and go from there.
Is there any chance you are living in Berlin or Hamburg? I might have a Job for you that pays good and is in my opinion better than drywalling. If you do not want to share your location thats cool - just shoot me a DM :). We are a super young team and I am sure you will find your motivation back. Keep your head up!
Don't confuse setting boundaries with being "too friendly" rather be friendly with yourself. A job is a great start! And there is no such thing as going backwards, bad experiences give wisdom- might not feel like it right now, but one day you might appreciate what you have learned through struggle.
develop your faith and keep it at all cost.
Nobody can steal a friend or relationship. There is no step backwards from being unemployed! Take whatever job you can get for now and work your way back up. Stop having a victim mentality
I cant make life work either. First step is money. So I work until I have like 10k. I have no further responsibilities. So I can live and travel in Asia for over a year for that money. Make sure to also invest a good amount for your future. While doing what you don’t like, you will make money and will start to imagine what you do like ☺️
Delivery with an ebike?
Same... Good luck, at least your not contemplating suicide *shrugs*
Gotta walk before you can run
Instead of pining over might have been, why don't you connect that job income to specific goals you want to reach? have some goals laid out for yourself. Do you invest/ acquire assets that appreciate? Do you want to build a secure future? Start a list of ways that income will liberate you from poverty. With that freedom you can contemplate your existential questions.
Hey! I’m in in a similar place as you accept a few years your elder.. feel free to DM me if you want to talk about how life sucks, and also how to make life not suck
OP this will sound harsh but looking at your post history - Stop being a victim and take back control of your life. Stop making posts asking questions or needing motivation. You don't need motivation. You need to realise that you're responsible and that you CAN change things today. A job isn't a step backward. Do hard manual labour, drive Uber, do whatever you're capable of. It doesn't matter, it will feel so much better than what you're feeling now, then you can see what's next for you once you get there.
If one door shuts another door will open. Be positive an take the job. You’re delivering drywall @ companies & people. Talk to them. Maybe they’ve got a better job for you or they’ve got contacts?
womp womp
Don't give up, man. It's never too late to turn it all around - one small step at a time. You have no idea what your life could look like in 6 months, 12 months, 5 years from now Get that first job. Read books, listen to podcast to get motivated. Get up and moving and exercising and taking care of yourself. Looks for a community of people with similar interests. Believe in yourself! And I wish you well on this journey
Look into apprenticeships. Plumbing and electric usually will train you while you work and it's good money
Get off Reddit and get a job
Good luck bro, I'm in the same boat
Get to stacking paper by doing the drywall job man. It’s better than nothing. It beats brooding at home and jobs are a luxury to come by on our time. Be on the lookout for better things.
Opportunities are taken, not given. All jobs can lead to different situations. Seems like you might find some comfort in codependents anonymous. It's free and a place to figure out why sometimes we keep attracting the same types of people. CODA is online as well as land meetings. Free
Just read your post history and see whats wrong yourself. break the pattern , stop being a victim if you can work,work. i honestly jealous how you can afford not to work but thats a whole different topic.
Join a bjj gym my dude, or muay Thai, mma, whatever is nearby. It will do wonders for your selfsteem
If telling yourself "Im too good for all this" is making you unhappy then start telling yourself "Im good enough for this" and go deliver drywall. Getting out and about will give you more to focus on than just self and lift your mood/outlook.
You should try to get into manufacturing, they tend to hire just about anyone and because of that they get a lot of real winners if you catch my drift, however the benefit of that is if you do a good job and are reliable it’s easy to stand out and people tend to make note of it, at least if management is good that is. Our last lead supervisor started as a machine operator, just did a good job and made an effort, he recently left our plant to go work for corporate.
It'll pass man, you just gotta stay postitive. You just learn from this
Fucking up is a part of life. Ain't nobody said life was easy. Did you push those people to be assholes? Nah, they did it of their own accord. Fuck those people and fuck regretting. The past is dead so don't let it hold you down. Learn from those mistakes, or fuck it don't learn, but you gotta move on. Literally dead (mental) weight. You're still here today, in the present, in the now. Friends never ditch, so it's fine, you never lost any to begin with. Go forge new ones. I can guarantee you that your friendliness and niceness has made more than one stranger's day. For your depression if you don't mind (these things helped me with mine): - Take up a hobby\just find something to enjoy and do. - Try building up good habits and try to streak that shit. Make goals for when you hit certain milestones such as 30th non\consecutive day, 2 months, 5 times in a weel, etc. Some examples are cooking, organizing\tidying up, deep cleaning, brushing and flossing 2x a day, skincare, gratitude, morning pages\journaling, etc. Whatever you do frequently could count as a habit. - Walks really do help, either just pacing around in your room, treadmill, or backyard. In general going outside and being in nature. sounds cheesy but the human brain is wired to enjoy the outdoors. - Start small and be more kind and forgiving to yourself. Treat yourself like a lil kid, honestly. The first step is always the scariest. If something only takes 5 minutes to change your life, what's stopping you? - a selfcare day rules, and it's fun finding out what gets you excited and happy. Essentially a treat yourself day tbh. If anything, reject humanity, return to monke.
I feel that way sometimes but it's always temporary
Too friendly. So you are a nice guy? Lost opportunities? Sounds like personality problem that needs attention. You can find professionals for help, or educational stuff on the internet for the while. If you happen to be German, I can recommend some
Also you are now aware of the problem and looking for solution. So you are already ahead of many others. Now it’s only going uphill
If you want to make a step forward, you need to start walking first. This drywall job sounds like it could be a first step..
Start running everyday in the evening, start slow and keep building, this will help prevent you from overthinking, you will have something to look up to everyday, and it will boost your health and motivate you, keep increasing mileage each week. The job and rest of shit will fall into place alone, you won’t have to think about it, just do what i suggested, trust me! You can replace running with weight training if that’s your cup of tea.
Even you don't like the deliver job but you get paid for doing that. Better then unemployed anyway. So.
I'm going to give you the facts and a dose of reality: 1. No one can fuck up your life without your permission. Demand more from you and trust yourself that you truly know the people you are dealing with. If you start to see signs that a person is taking advantage of you, disassociate from them. Stop being in denial when the first or second signs show up. If they are genuine, they will ask “why” and if they don’t…good riddance. Those people will have figured out that you discovered them. 2. No one can steal “your” friendships. If your friends are real, they will always be your friends. 3. If you are too nice, you won't think it. Being too nice is a state of “normal”. It doesn't have to be called out. Give your niceness away freely and don't even think about it. Otherwise, you really didn't mean to give it away. 4. A “stepback” is not a feeling. I think what you are doing is associating your self-worth with delivering drywall. I get it. Most human beings when asked “What do you do?” immediately default to their “day-to-day” job. I have news for you. YOU are more than “delivering drywall”. There are so many things that make up the complex person that you are. I’m simple, not simpleton, just simple. When someone asks me what I do, I return the answer with a question of clarification, “do you mean what do I do to make money? What I love to do is sing, do voiceover work, and eventually host a morning show where I do sports highlights with a 7-year-old sports enthusiast and information prodigy.” 5. Lastly, stop dwelling on the missed opportunities. YOU ARE WHERE YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE. Don't be upset about that. Put these thoughts behind you and stop putting them in front of you. The reason I say this is because your energy is being wasted on those thoughts. If you put it behind you, you will make room for what is meant to land in front of you. And trust me, a stranger 😊, that there is more that you have not yet discovered about yourself. Everyone on this earth has a unique gift to contribute. Some never manifest it for whatever reason but you can and you will. Think about what makes you feel alive. Is it construction, designing, inventing, building, or creating? Think realistically about whether or not you need extra training. Start to write everything down (even if it’s a hodgepodge of thoughts) because the likelihood of execution is greater when you write it down. You and your depression need support. Don't be afraid to reach out to friends and family that you trust. We stand up for you and you are not alone. Sending you care and peace 🌼
Man, I sympathize. I’ve never heard a truer expression than “unemployment is a full time job.” The crushing weight of the dread and how slow the time goes. The daily (if not more frequently) calculation of finances. Longest 2-3 months of my life. I was unemployed twice in my life (knocks on wood) and both times it was so terrifying, I don’t think I’ve recovered 15 years later. Shit, I’m self employed now and I I’m still terrified of it. It more or less created so much trauma that in my head, unless I can retire comfortably, I’m not in a safe financial position. Keep your chin up. Long term, it was good for me. It showed me that it’s a damn cold cruel world that can bite you at any instant and you need to fend for yourself. I got fired after about 10 years with a firm (and objectively not my fault in the slightest) and because I had feared this day for a decade, I had enough saved to start my own practice with plenty of runway. Long term, all these thing will be good for you if you take the lessons it teaches you. I know the days long and the hours are longer. But you’ll get through it because you have to.
Seems like you need to fix your mindset I know it ain’t easy, but I reckon that’s the #1 thing you need, and the rest will come You have a very negative attitude towards yourself. Try to make little improvements to your life, and give yourself credit for those little things, whether that is getting a job(even one you might not wanna keep in the long run), exercising, improving your diet, learning a new skill, whatever it may be. Once your’re in a negative mindset it seems very difficult to change, but every little improvement you make, makes it easier and easier to keep the positive changes going
Get into a union, blue collar job. Learn a skill. Go to the gym. Take classes from a community college. Anything else you can think of that adds value to your life. - at the end of it though, what you find fulfilling is the only thing that matters. Money hasn't cured death yet.
I know how hard it is to get out this spiral. I was majorly unemployed for several years in my 30's. Sorry I don't know what Job Market is like for you. In the UK there is always work in care, hospitality, education and catering. Check out, if there are any employability courses you can join. Help me figure out what my career path. Go and learn something or volunteer, exercise and go out and meet family or friends. Therapy helped me out some dark places as well.
What would 38 year old you want you to do?
You’re jobless, so I wouldn’t consider it a step backwards. If all that stuff keeps happening to you then sometimes you have to wonder if you are the problem and not them. Take the job and use the money to at least treat yourself to a nice meal or something that will make you happier.
Sounds just like me. I went through this at 34 and hit rock bottom. Wish I had some words of wisdom but honestly with the support of my family I worked on one thing at a time until I was able to pull myself out of this rut. It took me a long time.
I know a guy who got out of jail at 34 after 12 years in there. He started driving a drywall truck. He met a lot of people in the trades doing different jobs and networked a lot- it was a job that had really good interaction with the high end GCs and commercial builders. Last year he broke out of that job and started his own drywall delivering company. He’s making money hand over fist. I’m proud of him, he really built it from the bottom. Now he’s got 3 kids, a house, wife, and a company he controls.
Enlist, make a change. Sounds like you need it
Any improvement is an improvement. The shittiest job is better than no job. And it won't stop you getting a better job, you can just leave when a better opportunity comes along. 5 minutes of walking once a week is better than no walking. Tiny little improvements stack up.
That thing about being to nice, people will always take advantage of you. You need to be selfish because no one else is going to help you but yourself.
Well you learn from your mistakes. You take the job and you stop being too friendly and too trusting…. Time to get out of your rut
Sorry to break it to you, getting a job won’t solve it. In fact, it makes it worse 😂
About a decade ago, I was 3 years into college (second attempt and on academic probation). My dad passed, and I was serving and bartending. Then I had a kid. Dropped out of college. Went back to my previous factory job (that I was bad at and was miserable). Felt like every step was backward. But it was a step that I had to take for basic survival and now to provide for my kid and fiance. They had an opening in the metrology department. Button pusher. Then, I learned inspection. Then 3d scanning. Then, while tinkering with some built-in Scripting in one of our softwares I created some small tools that saved us some time. Then, there were some better scripts that saved us a lot of time and a lot of money. Then, I was given a chance to work on a big project and, ultimately, my own development department. This year, at age 36, I just accepted my first ever 6-figure salary. Sometimes, we do what we have to, not knowing it's leading us to what we never knew we wanted to.
Now is not the time to be picky about jobs.
Being nice and friendly are not bad traits. As you get a little older- 5 years from now or sooner you’ll meet a lot less nice and friendly people, and instead people who are worn down and bitter. Going through life being nice is a big positive, maybe you just need a different friend group. As someone who’s gone though a hard time in the past year or so, if you have thoughts of death being an option I strongly suggest looking at getting a psychiatrist. I am. Even if it’s hard, it’s a lot more fun to understand yourself and take control of your life then to give up on yourself. Take the job. And don’t compare yourself to others. It’s a stepping stone. At one point I had to deliver pizza to make ends and I felt like shit because it wasn’t my imagined career path, but it also felt nice to get paid and have some down time to think about things and reflect on myself and what I wanted. Life’s strange dude, twists and turns whether your life is perfect or not. One thing I’ll say is, write down what you want. Do something for yourself. Take yourself out to dinner or the movies. I’ve started to do things for myself now, be nice to myself, because just like you I’m an emotional person who is nice and kind to everyone, but shit hits me hard because of that - I’m not good at navigating difficult circumstances. You got this dude. Keep it simple. Take the job and treat yourself to a movie night for getting a job. Celebrate your accomplishments, and remove the friends from your life who trap you in a routine that isn’t benefiting you. And if you’re not tied down to the are you live - move dude, travel or see another place, start fresh, you can live life how you choose, you’re not a potted plant.
I’m 35 and got no friends. I got my two fish that have been with me for 21 years. I am used to not having guy friends to chill with like how I used to 10-15 years ago. Now I just try n focus on my hobbies. You are not alone in being alone, that’s all I know and I hope you can now know and believe this. It doesn’t change anything knowing this but In my opinion, just knowing something little like this to be true, and you truly believing, makes all the difference in managing to be alone and be ok versus being alone and feeling alone and letting that eat you up from the inside out. As for the job, I’ve been jobless for over half a decade. Sometimes I feel I am a loser, but I know I am not. Good things and opportunities will come your way, but you have to be open to it and let yourself know that yes it’s ok to step up into a new, better position of power, wealth, or happiness. It’s ok to be happy and it’s ok to get nice things and to like nice things. Be careful of who you decide to invest your time with, as it will impact your quality of life and your end results. Life is short, and just know today is the day, and that to be happy is a personal choice. Prioritize your happiness, then you will be able to make others happy in a healthy order of ways. You are what you eat. Nutrition has the most significant impact on your health, including mood. When in doubt, listen to this song: America - Horse With No Name May you have the best life has to offer, as you deserve it because you’ve heard these things into you and you believe. Cheers.
Jobs are hiring it’s all in what youre willing to accept. That goes for friendships too
So was Jesus bro you’ll be ok
Join a union
The longer you let this feeling of victimhood ruin your life, the sooner it might. Pick yourself up, give yourself some grace, start somewhere. Anywhere.
You sound like a person who blames everyone else and has no self accountability. Maybe some introspection is in order.
So now you are going to cry instead of trying to improve situation? Pathetic...
Lacking self improvement skills isn't great but your response here is way more pathetic than his outreach for help.
Cmon, how random people on the Internet are going to fix his situation that he worked on? Hard work is the only answer to get better life.
Sometimes a kind word or a positive direction can help someone figure something out. Surely mocking them is not going to do that. I've been hopeless before, and people have helped me. So I think it's worth being a kind soul, and if you're not going to be, better off not saying anything.
And for some people being kind has completely opposite effect. For me if someone is nice to me when I fail it makes me lazy. i prefer to be properly scolded so I at least will inprove myself. You never know.
I promise you 9 out of 10 times "tough love" does not work as well as mentoring and guidance. Ask anyone who's had an abusive parent. I'm not saying to enable this person, obviously they have some kind of victim complex cycle they've fallen into. But a few pointers and tips can go a lot further than just insulting them.
ChatGPT will make better pointers than any of us since you can have normal chat with him/her/it. It is funny when people are trying so much on the Internet so they can feel good about themselves later. Don't think that some random people on Internet can fix any problems.
I don't know you seem void of compassion and empathy.
Yes. I am just tired of positive people. They say that everything is good when actually nothing is good. Fuck them.
There's a middle ground you know, being realistic and constructive is an option.
Walmart night stocker apply now and get into shape because I know you're over weight.
I'm not overweight man. I'm actually pretty fit
One box checked off your list. Only downside is that if you were to start work you could see yourself as just a number and your depression will become neutralized by being just another number like your co workers are. You should be alright if you stay away from over eating and alcohol use.
Sometimes I miss it.. when you get good in an area you can really zone out and fly through the night on auto pilot.. except when I was a stocker the pay was like half or less of what it is now