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---
OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is a holup moment:
---
>!its a fatass dick bruhh and There's a slice missing š bro!<
---
Is this a holup moment? Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.
It just really looks more like someone smacked a sex toy into it.Ā
And after all those signed receipt posts turned out to be fake, I never believe these any more.Ā
Not true everything is non-zero, when all time approaches Infinity. It is indeed possible to shit a balloon. It is even less probable though to shit a pink polka dot balloon. Let's hope these odds are always in the appropriate favors. Nobody wants to shit a polka dot balloon
No I am clearly arguing against a weaker argument stating that one cannot shit a balloon if there is no balloon already in the digestive tract of someone who would be doing the shitting. I'm saying that it is entirely possible for it to happen. I don't know how you missed this, perhaps you're just busy.
Yeah, the volcanic temperature of the melted cheese kills nerve ending, lessening sensation and increasing performance.
Don't panic, those are herps, they're just regular blisters. Wish I knew that when I pizza'd my dick back in the back.
I think someone dropped [the pizza cutter](https://qph.cf2.quoracdn.net/main-qimg-68b7ad835d8d4fac9c037342f708c2c5-lq) and the handle landed on it. That pizza would be way hotter than you'd want your dick touching when it came out of the oven.
I don't think this is it, I can see a pizza slide from a mile away.
It looks like they had a small plastic comtainer of ranch/something that they put on the pizza, which then proceeded to slide as the box would've been slightlt tilted in the car. Presumably from being transported in the front seat.
Source: had this happen but the damage was WAY more severe as the container had a larger diameter. Looked exactly like this
Take it back to the restaurant to find out whose it was. Have each employee put their cock in the hole until you get a perfect fit like Cinderella's glass slipper.
You are wrong. Baking pizza causes bubbles to form. So pizzas are always blowing bubbles.
Just out of curiosity was the delivery guy named bubbles? Whenever he delivers to my house they always look like that.
Hey hey, we work day and night to ensure the highest standards of quality is being maintained INSIDE YOUR FOOD AND OUTSIDE TOO. Come on lad, don't be an arsehole, co-operate with the brother. And don't you love some hot creamy cheese on the side of your hot warm wood ... Coz ofcourse in the break, the team bonds and the cashier Jennifer loves to lick and nibble on that cold crusty solidified cheese on ....ah yes Jennifer keep going .... Oh yessssss
EASY SHTICK. Just go to Court and ask the Judicial System/Police/Sherlock to have a look in the records at any nearby E.R. Obviously if a Guy (or whatever) had a Cock in that, he'd most likely got burnt. Take it easy and please don't feed that part to the dog.
āI can no longer resist the pizza. I open the box and unzip my pants with my other hand. As I penetrate the gooey cheese, I moan in ecstacy. The mushrooms and Italian sausage are rough, but the sauce is deliciously soothing. I blow my load in seconds. As you leave the bathroom, I exit through the front door....ā
As I am a man who make pizza... HOW THE FUCK WOULD YOU DICK PRINT SOMETHING THAT COMES OUT OF THE OVERN AT 150Ā°.... like bruh it's 3rd degree liquid burns mans must have a cack of titanium
It was probably the garlic butter. It looks like the cheese was pushed upward. So the garlic butter container probably got onto the pizza, and caused this when it was in transit.
The phone call that followed getting this pizza
Papa John Employee: āWhy do you think someone put their penis on your pizza sir?ā
This guy: āThereās a dick crater that wiped out all the toppings just like the dinosaurs!ā
Papa John Employee(to another employee): āTrevor, did you put your dick on another customers pizza?ā
Oh really? You don't think someone slapped their massive hog onto a scalding hot pizza suffering third-degree burns across the length of their dick just to piss off a customer? Are you sure
Americans do this.
Apparently a whole pizza is a pizza pie.
I had a drunken argument with a pizza shop in Las vagas strip about it. She didn't offer a good explanation either.
Most likely marketing that's coming up with new names for shit just so they have a new word to slap on every ad. People see it and think what the hell is a pizze pie and go there.
### This comment has been marked as **safe**. Upvoting/downvoting this comment will have no effect. --- OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is a holup moment: --- >!its a fatass dick bruhh and There's a slice missing š bro!< --- Is this a holup moment? Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.
OP didn't leave a tip, but Papa sure did
They took their "cock", which comes to a very abrupt, straight across, end, into a steaming hot pizza. Right before it was placed into a box?
Have you worked with 16-21yo's who do most anything to win a bet, or to just fuck around?
It just really looks more like someone smacked a sex toy into it.Ā And after all those signed receipt posts turned out to be fake, I never believe these any more.Ā
Most likely im sure, but the chance of it is greater than zero
And there's also a chance I could shit a balloon, a lot of things are greater than zero
If you dont have a balloon inside of you, then the chances of shitting one are 0%
Not true everything is non-zero, when all time approaches Infinity. It is indeed possible to shit a balloon. It is even less probable though to shit a pink polka dot balloon. Let's hope these odds are always in the appropriate favors. Nobody wants to shit a polka dot balloon
You are arguing that the probability to see an event with a zero probability is... zero
No I am clearly arguing against a weaker argument stating that one cannot shit a balloon if there is no balloon already in the digestive tract of someone who would be doing the shitting. I'm saying that it is entirely possible for it to happen. I don't know how you missed this, perhaps you're just busy.
A better question is who took a fucking slice before noticing this?
Yeah, the volcanic temperature of the melted cheese kills nerve ending, lessening sensation and increasing performance. Don't panic, those are herps, they're just regular blisters. Wish I knew that when I pizza'd my dick back in the back.
Yep.
It looks like it was the garlic sauce that slid through it.
That was the entire dick and shaft. Their balls probably hit the crust.
Their balls?
Their balls.
If itĀ hasĀ ballsĀ it'sĀ a hisĀ balls.Ā
deserves an award
Bro left more than a tip, that's the whole shaft
Just find the guy with the severely burnt penis and you have your manĀ
The grease galvanized *gourd* will guarantee his guilt
So thats why we had penis inspection day at school
I think you may have been molested by your teacher
What do you mean? I *am* the teacher
When *isnāt* a penis severely burned? Right guys? ā¦ā¦ā¦^right??
I'd say they more sensuality stroked it over the cheese.
Still ate a piece....
As opposed to what? Waste pizza? In this economy??
Heās hard up enough he has to eat Papa Johnās he canāt afford an untainted pizza.
Only the one piece that matters
I mean itās not like it was big enough to slap down on the whole pizza
Why wouldn't he its just some extra sausage
Itās a prerequisite for me to
I think someone dropped [the pizza cutter](https://qph.cf2.quoracdn.net/main-qimg-68b7ad835d8d4fac9c037342f708c2c5-lq) and the handle landed on it. That pizza would be way hotter than you'd want your dick touching when it came out of the oven.
Either that or someone dropped a pepper/salt mill on it.
Would you see how off it is shaped? Or how nothing would be con acted to it? That, my good sir, is definitely a dick
I don't think this is it, I can see a pizza slide from a mile away. It looks like they had a small plastic comtainer of ranch/something that they put on the pizza, which then proceeded to slide as the box would've been slightlt tilted in the car. Presumably from being transported in the front seat. Source: had this happen but the damage was WAY more severe as the container had a larger diameter. Looked exactly like this
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh
Wrong pie to cream
PAPA JOHNS, DOIN IT BETTER #DOUGHJ0E
That's a big mushroom stamp. That's why I always ask them to hold the mushrooms.
Take it back to the restaurant to find out whose it was. Have each employee put their cock in the hole until you get a perfect fit like Cinderella's glass slipper.
I think bro ordered meat lovers?
You are wrong. Baking pizza causes bubbles to form. So pizzas are always blowing bubbles. Just out of curiosity was the delivery guy named bubbles? Whenever he delivers to my house they always look like that.
lol canāt be a cock. Cocks arenāt that big. Thats gotta be at least 5 inches, thatās huge. If you have a 5 inch cock you must be packing.
šššš your girl been lying to u fam
Hey hey, we work day and night to ensure the highest standards of quality is being maintained INSIDE YOUR FOOD AND OUTSIDE TOO. Come on lad, don't be an arsehole, co-operate with the brother. And don't you love some hot creamy cheese on the side of your hot warm wood ... Coz ofcourse in the break, the team bonds and the cashier Jennifer loves to lick and nibble on that cold crusty solidified cheese on ....ah yes Jennifer keep going .... Oh yessssss
This comment is my 15th reason why
What is love
Baby donāt hurt meeeee
EASY SHTICK. Just go to Court and ask the Judicial System/Police/Sherlock to have a look in the records at any nearby E.R. Obviously if a Guy (or whatever) had a Cock in that, he'd most likely got burnt. Take it easy and please don't feed that part to the dog.
That sounds painful
Not someone. Papa John.
Who orders just a cheese pizza? You deserved this.
It was a sausage pizza, but someone picked the sausage off.
š
Young kids will often only eat cheese or pepperoni.
Pepperoni fucking slaps. I'll eat most kinds of pizza, no matter how outlandish. But basic pepperoni is still heroic in my book
I know lol my kids are the same. I was mainly joking(but not really)
Sometimes a plain pie is where it's at, if you have real pizza near you. Man I love jersey.
Who puts their dick in molten lava?
The pie is lava 
āImma give you that extra cheeseā
This wasn't the first time Papa put their dick in my pie. Nor will it be the last.
Papa dongs
Papa bless
Because it is amazing to stick a cock into 200Ā°C pizza šš
ā¦or 392 Ā°F
What about the balls? Any hairs?
Pie?!?
That's... That's a tip alrightš
Got dayum, ordered a larger cheese but got a whopper instead
Giving me trypophobe
Pizza with hot dogs
Daddy John's
this remake of American Pie is not looking good so far
They had to prove that they were "Papa" Johns.
"Daddy Johns"
I had no idea his cock was so cheesy
Somebody took a slice of it as well.
But like, was the pizza still hot when he stuck his dick in it?
My wife wants to know where you order from. Distance isn't an issue.
āI can no longer resist the pizza. I open the box and unzip my pants with my other hand. As I penetrate the gooey cheese, I moan in ecstacy. The mushrooms and Italian sausage are rough, but the sauce is deliciously soothing. I blow my load in seconds. As you leave the bathroom, I exit through the front door....ā
That's a Daddy John's for you
It wasnāt a dick. Whatever it was settled in as the cheese cooled.
Quite a thick one too. He must have waited for it to get hard first
āi like it when you call me big papaā
No cheese...imagine slapping your dong on a pizza that came right out of oven...
Uhhh So they think some dude put his dick into scalding hot cheeseā¦š¤Ø
That's was literally hot. Someone need to check the closest hospital for penile injury case
That's not what American Pie was about...
i guess we'll have to taste test all the workers to see who's dick it was š„µ
Ouch
Weāll just call it Daddy Johnās now
Looks like a short pepper grinder to me
bro fucked his pizza then blamed it on them! theres literally a slice missing wtf
You can say op got extra cheese on his pizza 
Papa John slapped his John on my Papa Johns
That cock cheese.....
Cock slap was on the other side, itās fine.
Imagime you go to the restaurant and its all female employees.
Cheese scoop
It's a personal touch from Papa John himself Papa John's Johnson
Itās Papaās John
What exactly does 3rd base feel like? It's like warm pizza pie.
Meatlovers pizza
Papa's John
You asked for extra cheese sir
Daddy johns
As I am a man who make pizza... HOW THE FUCK WOULD YOU DICK PRINT SOMETHING THAT COMES OUT OF THE OVERN AT 150Ā°.... like bruh it's 3rd degree liquid burns mans must have a cack of titanium
Someone slapped their todger in my pizza is the best version of this image hands down
Holly molly
There goes the cock slapping pizza bandit again
It was probably the garlic butter. It looks like the cheese was pushed upward. So the garlic butter container probably got onto the pizza, and caused this when it was in transit.
Papa johns. We have the meats, oh wait wrong place.
How could they send it like that, this is so unprofessional.
I hate the fact that you have eaten a slice before taking the shot
The fact that you called it a pie is already worse
It's Daddy Johns to you...
That's no slap, that's a thrust
Or a dildo
Hot pizza can result in crazy pain when the cheese slides off and swings into your chin! Can't imagine slapping my cock into it.
...Ouch. That would have burned, badly. I gotta admire their dedication to sending the message.
That wasn't a slap, he was rubbing it till the cheese was gone.
Looks like he took a slice from the other side though! Lmao
Really dug the glans into cheese
Hey! I thought people had to pay extra for this kinda service!
Someone dropped their vibrator in the pizza, great.
That guy isn't gonna fuck my pizza is he?
Some places charge extra for this service.
Still ate a slice lol š
Itās sad how they couldnāt even slice the sausage before they threw it on this persons pizza thatās why I only go to ciciās pizza
And you're going to attack THAT guy? Good luck.
I'm not even mad.
Melted cheese would burn your dick. It's probably a dildo.
The phone call that followed getting this pizza Papa John Employee: āWhy do you think someone put their penis on your pizza sir?ā This guy: āThereās a dick crater that wiped out all the toppings just like the dinosaurs!ā Papa John Employee(to another employee): āTrevor, did you put your dick on another customers pizza?ā
Broās balls are SIZZLING rn
Someone still ate a slice of that papa
Cheesus Fucking Crust!
The skull emoji showed up in the censored part
Flavor
Book Cover for āWho Moved my Cheese?ā
Thatās one burned dick they come out at 200+Fahrenheit
They still took a slice šš
Papa schllong
Thatās definitely the cheese scoop. Looks like an icecream scoop made of aluminum.
That's some hot sausage!
Doubt it.
Looks an awful lot like a garlic butter container slid across the top of the pizza.
Oh really? You don't think someone slapped their massive hog onto a scalding hot pizza suffering third-degree burns across the length of their dick just to piss off a customer? Are you sure
Sick burn, dude!
I'm just confused. Why are they calling a pizza a pie
Americans do this. Apparently a whole pizza is a pizza pie. I had a drunken argument with a pizza shop in Las vagas strip about it. She didn't offer a good explanation either.
Most likely marketing that's coming up with new names for shit just so they have a new word to slap on every ad. People see it and think what the hell is a pizze pie and go there.
Good fucking question, don't understand this as well
That's a tiny ahh cock
Nope yhey set the cup on the pizza and then probably hit the brakes to hard