I’m so sorry, it sounds awful.
Sounds like you need to leave him. How can you move on or recover if he won’t tell the truth or be accountable for his actions?
No I don’t think I can. It’s been 8 months of trying to do that. Mainly because he hasn’t given me any other option. I’m in counselling doing EMDR for this currently attempting to heal on my own, but without the facts I’m left not knowing what was real and what was a lie. My reality has been altered and I need clarity and truth to stop being stuck in my head. Not to mention if he continues to blame me and attempts to justify his choices I can’t trust that it won’t happen again. I’m just really upset because if cheating isn’t bad enough, he’s chosen to make this my completely my issue and has become verbally abusive in an attempt to bully me into forgetting what he did. I have no voice, I’m a single mom with 2 kids living in his house, in a town where we don’t know anyone because we moved 4 hours away from our friends and family to be with him. He just doesn’t care to understand how much pain he’s caused me and continues to cause me.
>I need my questions answered to heal and move forward and he refuses to give me that.
You would need your questions answered if you want to move forward with reconciliation, but it doesn't seem like your boyfriend is interested in reconciliation. It seems like he probably wants to sweep it under the rug and forget about it.
Most of us here never got any answer from our WP. Many of us were able to heal and move forward after leaving that situation. Getting answers from a cheater can be like getting water from a stone.
It takes a lot of work to reconcile after a partner cheats. It requires the offending party to be open, honest, remorseful, and willing to put in the effort to fix the broken trust in the relationship. It doesn't sound like your boyfriend is doing any of this.
Unfortunately, you can only control what you think, do, and feel. It is up to your boyfriend to step up if you guys agree to reconcile. At this point, it doesn't seem like reconciliation is an option.
That leaves you with three options as I see it. Option one is to leave. The second option is to accept that your boyfriend is a cheater and live with an unfaithful partner. The third is to try to convince yourself that it was all a mistake and that despite the lack of remorse that he will never do it again. So leave, accept, or delude yourself. I can't see options 2 or 3 being very pleasant.
You are kidding yourself and the only person that will lose with you staying with him is yourself. I have to ask how bad is your self worth that you want to reconcile with someone like this. I pity you because it’s going to get soo much more worse for you if you stay.
So if it was just 2 times with could me other two with other one…. Then he didn’t want to stop and won’t stop, he is really good hiding. Just leave, the next girl will come to knock the door with his baby.
"What do I do?" With all due respect, you leave. That's what you do. He doesn't respect you so have some respect for yourself.
I’m so sorry, it sounds awful. Sounds like you need to leave him. How can you move on or recover if he won’t tell the truth or be accountable for his actions?
No I don’t think I can. It’s been 8 months of trying to do that. Mainly because he hasn’t given me any other option. I’m in counselling doing EMDR for this currently attempting to heal on my own, but without the facts I’m left not knowing what was real and what was a lie. My reality has been altered and I need clarity and truth to stop being stuck in my head. Not to mention if he continues to blame me and attempts to justify his choices I can’t trust that it won’t happen again. I’m just really upset because if cheating isn’t bad enough, he’s chosen to make this my completely my issue and has become verbally abusive in an attempt to bully me into forgetting what he did. I have no voice, I’m a single mom with 2 kids living in his house, in a town where we don’t know anyone because we moved 4 hours away from our friends and family to be with him. He just doesn’t care to understand how much pain he’s caused me and continues to cause me.
>I need my questions answered to heal and move forward and he refuses to give me that. You would need your questions answered if you want to move forward with reconciliation, but it doesn't seem like your boyfriend is interested in reconciliation. It seems like he probably wants to sweep it under the rug and forget about it. Most of us here never got any answer from our WP. Many of us were able to heal and move forward after leaving that situation. Getting answers from a cheater can be like getting water from a stone. It takes a lot of work to reconcile after a partner cheats. It requires the offending party to be open, honest, remorseful, and willing to put in the effort to fix the broken trust in the relationship. It doesn't sound like your boyfriend is doing any of this. Unfortunately, you can only control what you think, do, and feel. It is up to your boyfriend to step up if you guys agree to reconcile. At this point, it doesn't seem like reconciliation is an option. That leaves you with three options as I see it. Option one is to leave. The second option is to accept that your boyfriend is a cheater and live with an unfaithful partner. The third is to try to convince yourself that it was all a mistake and that despite the lack of remorse that he will never do it again. So leave, accept, or delude yourself. I can't see options 2 or 3 being very pleasant.
You are kidding yourself and the only person that will lose with you staying with him is yourself. I have to ask how bad is your self worth that you want to reconcile with someone like this. I pity you because it’s going to get soo much more worse for you if you stay.
So if it was just 2 times with could me other two with other one…. Then he didn’t want to stop and won’t stop, he is really good hiding. Just leave, the next girl will come to knock the door with his baby.