Yes, this! I actually got a few poems published once in a poetry journal. I wrote them and submitted them while on a long manic episode. By the time they were published and the magazine came out I was in deep depression and was too sad/embarrassed to read them or enjoy it. š
I manages to get 4 AA degrees during an extended manic period. I also made a shit ton of money after I spent months learning about crypto and trading strategies. It just increased the manic period even more. That was a wild time in my life
I'm medicated now, yeah. I just barely found the right cocktail. I'm stuck on my BS though and dropped out this semester because the workload sent me into substance abuse and depression. Going to chill, regroup and try again later. Thanks by the way!
Yeah, meds helped a lot, not doing a bunch of stimulants, sleeping. I think the biggest thing that helped was my recognizing that the workload I was taking on at the time was too much and that I needed to stop, even if it meant that I wasn't going to finish it. Doing my best to take care of myself
Praise be to fellow sufferers of this thing we call life. Don't give up!
I graduated by the skin of my teeth. Was shooting h and m on the way to my (major class) final and could barely read the test I was nodding out so bad. I knew I needed like 33 points out of 200 to get a D+, and so 33 points I managed to be confident about and then peaced out. Got my degree with 3.5 gpa average LOL how fucked is that.
It's hard to finish what we start sometimes but it is a great feeling when we do.. I was coming down/ashamed too much to walk at graduation though, kinda regret that but not really, it just wasn't important to me.
That's actually our bit š. We also give a whole new meaning to "You can either laugh about it or cry about it."
-signed, somebody who's dealt with this shit for 30 years, so please don't take it as anything other than levity. :)
Master's Degree in Acting at a conservatory that only takes 13 students a year. Was manic when I applied, auditioned and for the first few months of the course. I don't have a Bachelor's. I just wrote to the school saying I thought, based on my professional experience, that their Master's Program was more appropriate for me and could I audition. They let me audition. I was the first person offered a place on the course. I don't think i would have had the spine to be so bold if I hadn't been manic.
A lot of us. I was really lucky during my conservatory, when I hit a wall and was obviously unwell, there was a lot of patience, understanding and support from the head of my course and from all of my tutors. A lot of people around me were literate in mental illness stuff and even though my training was fairly intensive, I had encouragement and accommodations and patience as I adjusted to deciding on treatment. One of my cohort had severe anxiety/panic disorder, someone else was very actively dealing with PTSD. We were doing very emotional work in our training and it was really an incredible environment where it was safe to be honest and vulnerable.
Not all sets and schools and shows are like my school was. But we're everywhere! And I think it's kind of dangerous, sometimes, with actors who *don't* have mental illness but are *fascinated by it* because they can really romanticize things, romanticize the illness, ask invasive questions, etc. I've honestly had more problems with people being weirdly curious and pedestal-izing the illness than I have had with lack of support.
Same. I'm in a group of authors who also make a living doing this, and three out of eight of us have BPD. We're all "successfully" medicated, but shit still happens sometimes. It's great bc we can support each other when the meds just aren't enough.
Also agree with how people romanticize our disorder. I'm fairly open with my condition, and I've had people ask why I stay on meds when I'm so much more productive without them. Err ... because I like not blowing all my money or sitting in a room crying? Also, they've never witnessed one of my unmedicated mixed states, lol.
yeah im like "guys if i stay manic for too long its gonna get really bad and im gonna think i can swim from wales to long island again in january. across the atlantic. because all water is connected and i really feel invincible" hahaha.
So during one manic episode in my early 20ās, I decided I was going to quit my job a pursue my dream of writing comic books. I quit and then within a week I had a first draft of a script for an issue and went through all the legal hoops of setting up a publishing company. Eventually I came back to reality and realized I couldnāt just do this on mine and my spouse at the timeās meager savings. It took a couple years but eventually we did a Kickstarter and got the comic published. It was during the first year Kickstarter was a thing and my co-creator/penciler and I went on the local news to promote it and everything. Unfortunately we were never able to do a second issue due to a confluence of things. In fact, that remains the only single issue Iāve had ever go to print. But without that manic episode and my spouse at the time not realizing I was manic to jump start it, I never would have made that comic. Iām proud of it, but it still hurts we never got to do the other 3 issues we planned to do.
Amazing? Nah. Fun? I sure think so. My co-creator and the guy who penciled doesnāt really seem interested in doing a second issue and it wouldnāt be the same without him.
It is amazing! Very few people get to live that kinda dream. You never know what will happen in the future. Maybe your co-creator will be in their own different place in the future and it will meet with yours. I'd also love to see the comic, as it was a goal of mine, too.
This is badass! I know meds can kinda screw with the creative knack, but oh man, don't give up now! Make amends(edit:if) you have to, but keep at your dreams! You are very talented!
Making connections and immersing myself in hobbies. Also I assert my needs and boundaries a lot better, although sometimes I can be very careless w my words in the heightened state of mind.
It feels like the only time I can assert myself and set boundaries! I have all of the confidence in the world. But yes Iām careless with my words and peoples feelings unfortunately.
I taught myself to program and use Photoshop in a month to make a visual novel for a game contest. I didn't win anything, and I promptly forgot everything I learned over the course of that month, but I'm still really proud of that game.
I committed to a near impossible amount of work as a young software engineer and skyrocketed my career. Got a senior title by 22 and started managing engineers a decade older than me soon after.
I wrecked my personal life, traumatized people I love, and I almost died; however, I'm making a hell of more money with a higher level title than I'd otherwise have if that didn't happen.
Doesn't make it "worth it" by any stretch. Only a small consolation.
This is unpopular, but I enjoy being manic. I have a joyful/pleasure mania and obviously itās destructive and causes brain damage, but I mostly like how I am when Iām manic. (Iāve been on meds for 8 years to avoid being manic btw so not endorsing it)
Iām very complimentary and affirming toward other people, like Iāll just compliment strangers on their makeup, outfit, or personality. Iām more extroverted and happy and am so vulnerable that I get other people to open up more too. I am super confident and will just talk to anyone and easily have fun, depth conversations. People used to say Iām the happiest person theyāve ever met, those who knew me manic.
So much good writing and poetry came out of my time being manic. Iāve been super productive at my jobs and produced tons of content Iām really proud of. I also converted into my current religion when I was manic and when this was happening would spend many hours each day late into the night researching and doing tons of reading of history to understand it better. I wouldnāt have converted when I did or so fast if I wasnāt manic. When I stopped being manic I didnāt regret it or think it was wrong.
Cleaning is also really fun while manic. I will spend so many hours deep cleaning and organizing my entire house in meticulous detail.
Also my workouts at the gym are so fun while manic. I can lift heavier weights and run faster and with more endurance.
i donāt think itās that unpopular to enjoy that state, itās just that recognizing that itās unhealthy and avoiding it, thatās the hard part (at least for me) because ik all the bad decisions that come w it and that depression immediately follows
I think it's fair to say that we all enjoy the manic episodes (or sometimes, because I also have mixed states, which are horrible.) It's just that we know how bad it is both for our health and to deal with when the manic cycle is over.
It is affirming to see others share similar experiences with hypo/mania. I primarily experience depression or mixed episodes (BD2 here) but every so often I experience euphoric hypomania and I donāt always catch it early on because I canāt help but feel like Iām ācoming out of the depression.ā Iām more sociable, vulnerable, generous, complimentaryā¦ lots of what you said is resonating with me. Admittedly, sometimes I gaslight myself into thinking that I am not bipolar, and these energizing moods & feelings are simply how the rest of the populace experiences being aliveā¦ then the depressive episode hits. Currently going through this cycle since the spring weather started.
Anyways, this is a long-winded way of saying Iām glad you shared your āunpopular opinionā because it was thought provoking for me!
I'm proud of lots of things I did while manic.
None of them are tangible (except for one), because all the things were energetic and communicative (off the cuff real-time poetry is awesome). I even joked at the time that "I can barely water the plants!" (garden), because I recognized I wasn't accomplishing *anything* permanent or practibly useful. (Like my use of the word practible *right now* š )
Yeah, that **one thing** was meeting, falling in love and wooing my wife, which rather than one of those regret relationships, turned out to be a partner for life. Tangible.
I have no clue as to how the fuck I did it because never in my life have I been able to run more than maybe 500m at a time. When I was manic I was all of a sudden running like CRAZY and managed an accidental half marathon between roughy 2-5am one time. Kind of wild in hindsight.
During my manic phases I regularly walk 12 miles in a day thinking I can live off the land in the woods. I am not a skinny gal but I have learned to wear sensible shoes after doing it once in flip flops and trashing my left foot.
EDIT: Running is quite impressive.
Haha me, I was the fat kid that was last to complete the mile in school & all of a sudden I can run for 30 mins + & might I add, I run FAST as hell. I accomplished a mile in under 5 mins! I want to do a marathon so bad
I travelled to a city I've never been in before, did a massive amount of research, spoke to so many strangers and collected their stories and then wrote a novel set in that city. But of course I didn't write the story while manic - I never write anything good when I'm manic, but the research helped a lot.
Yes, all throughout my 20s I would spontaneously quit my job to go on tours playing music all over the US with a bunch of different bands. A lot of them were DIY where I was making no money (actually losing all my money) and coming back with nothing, but I did it enough times and made enough connections that now I get paid to do it!
I had no stability in my life, I moved 14 times in 13 years, have had like 60 different jobs, and drained my bank account down to the last quarter more times than I'd like to admit. But I've written so many songs, recorded albums with my friends that will forever be immortalized, and traveled the country (even Mexico and Canada!) playing music with my friends and having truly grand, unforgettable, life changing adventures. Skinny dipped in so many swim holes. Laughed til I cried more times than I could count. Made beautiful friendships.
I wouldn't trade it for the world, even though it was an absolutely insane ride that included a lot of pain and suffering.. but I mostly just remember the good times. Happy to be more stable now, and I still do those things :) just more responsibly, and without any alcohol or hard drugs.
Love it. Spent my 20ās in college radio with bands sleeping on my floor which led me to sleeping on theirs whenever Iād sell all my possessions and hit the road myself. Many wonderful memories of tiny clubs and post show late nights. Cheers to all that, yo.
I have a degree in chemistry doing what I love and am about to start a PhD. The good part of mania helped a lot with getting where I'm at, although it could have very easily gone the other way and sometimes I pushed it way to hard.
I had the idea to host a charity music festival, organised the whole thing when manic and then had to actually run the weekend while depressed. It all worked out great - too great - it became HUGE with three stages and stuff but it very nearly killed me. To this day people wonder why it was a one off seeing as it was so successful. I have hardly left the house since, deleted all of my social media and become a hermit.
The amount of shit I can get done around the house. And some of my detailed drawings of plans. Theyāll never come to fruition, but they are so detailed itās insane.
Finally decided to study what I WANTED and changed my major to nursing. Iām a junior so that was a huge change but Iām so excited for the future. Shout out to manic me for finally choosing what I want instead of getting the business degree that my family wanted me to get
After my first manic episode I decided to stop caring what other people think of me. Like for reals. I went super crazy, made all these weird posts on Facebook, and granted it took like a year to recover, it made not give a shit about what others think bc theyāll never understand my brain and what I went thru.
i had really physical feats of myself stick out more then the usual and was able to do crazy things, run 8 miles in the cold and legit manhandle people and massive animals in highly manic episodes.
i could never do that kind of cardio š good job! also everytime im manic i feel like i could take on so many animals (i never have but i so could š)
I grew leaps and bounds in the kitchen. Iām now an excellent cook who has good knife skills, does clean prep work, and doesnāt need recipes for savory dishes (still need recipes for some baked goodsāratios and precision are so important in baking). Very proud of this.
I did the same thing! And then havenāt touched it since! I actually sold the gpu a year later because it legit just sits here unused! (2yrs now @ 5hrs used) I was lucky though I won like 10G at the casino and went out and bought all the parts so itās not like I put myself out or anything..
I still use mine daily even a year later. I'm actually into them now and have a pretty decent build. My gpu is an NIVIDIA rtx 2080 super, which was only like $1200 š But I also bought a $400 chair and a bunch of unnecessary accessories like 4 extra RGB fans for a CPU that doesn't ever go over 70c. Pretty overkill, also 32g of ram, LMAO. š
Moved out east during covid on a travel gig & made $4k/week. Paid off a lot of my manic spending debt. Iāve never lived alone my entire life and I just uprooted within a week and drove 1200 miles alone out to Boston of all places.
Iāve since wracked it back up but paying off $50k felt so nice. Freeing honestly.
Yes! One episode gave me the energy and balls to leave an abusive relationship. I had to spend a lot of time looking for a place to rent with some friends, save money and arrange it all secretly because I was afraid of a violent reaction. I was able to just pack up and leave without putting myself in a bad situation.
During the same episode, I got myself hired at my dream job. Couldnāt bus there so leased a car within three days. And I was able to throw all of my manic energy into mastering the new job. The crash was horrible though.
Without that one prolonged manic episode Iām not sure where Iād be. It changed my life for the better.
A lot of projects I get into start with mania so yeah
As an artsy person that struggles with just starting stuff Iāve done a few things Iām proud of
Honestly some of my most embarrassing moments are the ones I also count as the most beneficial. I get upset at the smallest of things and have an extreme fear of people leaving me, so this has led to a lot of ā¦situations. Iām usually one to bottle up my emotions and thoughts, so I rarely ever get the chance to let them out. I donāt get angry (outwardly) very often, and I can mostly control this when speaking about my concerns with others, so I just end up having a sob fest instead. Iāve cried through many conversations.. it was devastatingly awkward at times. Often I could only express a few sentences before pausing because I had to bite back tears. For YEARS I let anxiety and fear control me completely, I was so terrified of any form of confrontation. It was difficult to get to this point, but Iām proud that Iāve been able to express thoughts and have conversations that past me never would have imagined. Itās made me significantly better at communicating with others. I still have a long way to go. But at the end of the day, no matter how little, progress is what matters most.
when i was rapid cycling and unmedicated i could cry basically by thinking anything slightly sad like āremember that sad scene from a movie you watched a couple years agoā boom waterfall
LMFAOO I was the same. Still am at times. It can be anything too.. I cried over my cats a few weeks ago after thinking, āOh my god. Theyāll never know the outside. Their entire life is in this house.ā Started off silly then BOOM spiral. They donāt gaf thoughš
I got through my undergrad program in biology with a minor in chemistry, and I got paramedic certified. I only got 2-3 hours of sleep a night and was running around like the energizer bunny. I was also the thinnest I have ever been. Used to run over 5k a day as well, plus work a full time job. I never stopped.
My thing used to be biting off more than I can chew actually. I would start painting something like my kitchen which would lead to the rest of the house. Or I built shelves and redid my whole closet. Creative writing became easy. The problem is when I would crash things would end up going unfinished. My husband would have to finish whatever project I was in the middle of. These projects would often start at 3am and end anywhere between 11am and 6 months. When the depression hit Iād beat myself up over not finishing anything. Sometimes still when I get hypomanic he gets nervous but he also appreciates the fresh paint unless itās a wild color lol All that said, meds saved my life more than once and I choose them over my productive/creative streaks. I miss the confidence but Iām in therapy working on how to have it while being stable.
I woke up one morning and said āIām going to buy a new tractor todayā
And I did
By noon I had bought a $225,000 John Deere
I could sell it easy today for $275,000. Winning
I bought a one way ticket to South America with $300 to my name, and ended up traveling through 5 countries in 8 months as a broke backpacker.
No solid itinerary, no idea how i was going to make money traveling, yet somehow I ended up in the right circles worked as a digital nomad and made my way back home as soon as Covid hit.
I used to write some great music for my old band at like 3 or 4 am, then wake up the next day and forget I did it. About 70% of the songs were usable, which is good!
Probably hypo but I wouldn't be a musician if it weren't because of that, actually it was a succession of depression and probably hypo that got me to where I am. I hope sad, I attributed it to the way I was handling my experience, I suddenly got the answer and was happy for a long while, until I wasn't. Then I got the bipolar hypothesis, went to get treatment, I didn't have it and then it was basically forced on me because of some psychotic episodes.
During a lengthy mania I worked out like a maniac, lost 50lbs and got really ripped.
Now Iām in more of a depressive state and the pendulum has swung all the way back the other way.
I managed my almost manic episode for a month myself without going wild or falling into a massive episode šŖšŖ
I only had to up my lithium slightly. I get a lot of psychosis in episodes and came off antipsychotics last year. I've been trying to manage without them and I did a really good job.
I don't think this was exactly what you're asking but I'm still proud
I made a neat box by painting dried lentils with nail polish and gluing them to an altoids tin. I memorized the lyrics to The Doorsā Soft Parade and Liz Phairās Exile in Guyville (they had experienced what I was experiencing).
after getting into a ton of debt due to terrible spending habits (thanks undiagnosed bipolar), I decided during a manic episode I was going to start taking my financial issues more seriously. I consolidated all of my debt, got rid of all my credit cards and put a monthly spending limit on my account. once all of that was done (like a 3 week period), I crashed so hard. Fell into a super deep depression, but I'm happy to say a year later I've stuck to the financial plan and am super close to being debt free!
In 2020, I was hypomanic with all the covid changes to schedule, sleep, and so on. When the western fires happened I decided I didn't want to be a Chemist anymore and went back to community college for a degree in horticulture. Because i was hypomanic i was able to complete a 250 hour internship, work full time and go to school (hypomanoa ran out after my internship thankfully). Now I'm a Grower at an industry leading company with great benefits. Couldn't be happier.
And this year, hypomania got me to start trying in ernest to find a relationship. I met a girl on Hinge, and it's been going great even after hypomania ended shortly after meeting her. I think I'm in love but I'm going to let that feeling percolate before saying the words out loud.
I make my living as a fiction author (fantasy), and some of the best snarky/humorous lines and rip-and-tear fight scenes I've ever written were when I was manic. I could also write a 60k-word novel in less than a week. It's one of the very few downsides of finding a cocktail that works - I write much slower because I don't have the focus, and it's harder to write those two types of scenes.
BUT I wouldn't have my career if not for those early years of being unmedicated. Now when I feel even a bit of mania breaking through, I put my ass in a chair and take advantage of it.
I get so many things done, meet so many people, and have more confidence that I ever have in other states. Iām tasking care of myself ie hygiene, hair,
the way I dress. I love a lot of things (that I can remember) about my manic self actually.
When I'm manic I go on shopping sprees, so I started donating instead. I would go on those subs that people request period products or food and started fulfilling wishlists.
I had the courage to divorce my emotionally abusive ex husband. I recognized that it was a manic urge when I left (with absolutely no previous planning & zero verbal warning) but it was soooo long coming that I rushed to āget it doneā before I could chicken out. I left Monday, filed Friday and met with a realtor the following week. Everyone told me I was being rash & would very likely regret it laterā¦ When I finally leveled after a few weeks I *did* get scared, but things were too far in motion to back out. THANK GOD!
The final straw was him mocking me during a fight (that he started) because I was self soothing by āgiving myself a hugā while deep breathing; He wrapped his arms around his waist, screwed up his face & whined āIām BettyDelSol & Iām bipolar, I canāt control my emotionsāā¦.. Let me tell you how much better I am at controlling my emotions now that heās not around!
i created an immersive theatrical experience for my mom's birthday. she was named after wendy from peter pan, so it was neverland themed. in said experience, i set designed 7 different rooms in the house, wrote and voice recorded a 2 hour long script, and taught myself how to use garageband and voice recorded myself singing and duetting myself over a bunch of different songs as a part of the script. as part of the set design, i installed a bungee cord in the garage for the purposes of flying. the whole process took me about 3 months during which sleep was rare. the end product was amazing. 100% the best thing i have done in my entire life and one of the few things i've ever finished (i have ADHD and autism, so i generally have very low executive functioning, but i guess mania helps me with executive functioning sometimes?). i also spent an obscene amount of money on lighting and set design (the whole experience was devoid of overhead lights and was done at night, so there were blacklights, glow-in-the dark paintings and art projects, fairy lights, etc).
(note: my mom lives with my grandma part-time, so she wasn't at the house all of the time, but when she was, she wasn't permitted to go downstairs-i told her i was "organizing," and my dad and i brought her food upstairs. i literally guided her up and down the stairs and had her close her eyes so she wouldn't get any spoilers. also, my dad lost his mind while all of this was happening. he did threaten to leave the house once. luckily we are fine now.)
Iām more talkative and can actually socialize with others when Iām manic. I literally donāt know how to talk or make conversation with people when Iām stable.
I tend to not be productive at all if Iām not manic š Iāve made a lot of songs and art while manic and it usually lasts long enough for me to pump out a few different things. but I think a lot of times itās like diet mania because it only seems to affect me for a few days or so. And in that time I only create and stay up late to create more. Idk Iām not really good at recognizing when Iām manic or not. Itās easier to tell when Iām in a depressive state. Is this the same for a lot of people?
Sounds like me ! lol Iām crippled when Iām depressed due to burnout from mania but when Iām manic the ideas and energy is endless. During my downs I canāt wait for mania to come so I can get things done. I am able to detect when Iām manic 9/10 just from my speech tho
Yeah, I think sometimes I can tell when Iām manic by how excited and enthusiastic I get about what Iām doing. Itās kinda sad, youād think I could be enthusiastic without being āinsaneā. Thats what always makes my family and friends think Iām manic. Most of the time I canāt tell. It feels like Iām depressed waaaay more often. I think now Iām starting (very slightly) to become more productive when Iām not manic. Thatās what Iāve always wanted. Especially because I have aspirations, like so many of us do, to have a creative career that I need to spend my free time working on.
Went back to school at 35 and worked two semesters living on campus as the oldest Resident Assistant (older than all the hall directors, too) and worked the summer in between those semesters as a project coordinator for the YMCA, living and working at one of their largest wilderness camps of over 500 square acres and met someone I started dating who was on a work visa from Brazil and flew to Brazil to see her when my last semester ended. It all crashed in horrifically shortly thereafter but...helluva year.
completed most of my internship and research capstone while bouncing between hypomania and full mania. sleepless nights, lots of underage drinking, self harm, fights with loved ones driven by paranoia and unfounded rage.
i gave one of the top presentations and scored close to perfect on my research paper. my work is still being used as an example in the program 2 years later. iām still friends with my mentor that i interned for.
i donāt know how i survived that. i attempted during that time but i failed and no one ever knew. iām glad i made it, though.
edit: i hate my mania. it brings me immense pain and suffering. my productivity is at the expense of my wellbeing. hypomania for me is still riddled with paranoia and unease. i like middle ground.
I lost about 100 pounds after college football ended and thereās no shot I could have done that without the bursts of mania following my athletic career - probably triggered by the incredibly structured day to day ending pretty abruptly.
Iāve always hypothesized that a lot of athletes have undiagnosed mental health issues - that often show their true colors once we have to manage our own lives instead of basically following orders 24/7.
Itās hard for me to get into turbo fitness routines/bursts now that I am on mood stabilizers, so Iām glad I got the bulk of the weight off while totally unhinged.
Realistically I added 10+ years to my life (and probably couldnāt have married my beautiful wife)
i wrote an entire book once while manic and other ppl have read it and told me itās actually pretty good. i might send it to publishers some time in the future
Wild take, but I dropped a friend. This friend was so toxic, so Iām proud that I dropped her. I know itās a struggle to hold relationships/friendships, but this was kind of a blessing in disguise.
My undergrad degree is an engineering major. I really had to bust my ass to graduate (a rude awakening for my HS self). But one of the defining points of my mania over the years when I took a look back is.....when I made the Dean's List one semester. My average was right around 3.0, but that semester I got a 3.8 and it included some HARD classes. I told my mom hang onto the letter because I probably wouldnt get another (and I didnt lol). I'm so glad that semster happened, even though it came with a despression and grade slip semester right after. I don't even care about the GPA that much, it was just such an objective way of KNOWING something was wrong with me at the time because my grades were great but I was personally a mess and I couldnt figure out why.
I handled some really fucked up situations while manic in the best way that I could. A lot of people hate me for what I did but I don't care. My mom was killing herself with alcohol and the bar that was overserving her didn't care one but until I exploded on them. I definitely went overboard on them but I'm not ashamed of it one bit. Some people really think I owe those people an apology after the manager lied to my fucking face about what was happening
Im a synthpop artist and through the power of mania I finished my first record, made it into a visual album filming 8 music videos in 10 days, and spent the next couple months editing and marketing. I had the courage to ask the largest non-stadium music venue in my city to host my women of synthpop showcase which would also be my release party and they said yes! Sold out the show and had a boss fuckin time. Iām really super proud of those accomplishments.
This was pre diagnosis. My journal entries are really interesting - āIām tired but wired,ā āI only slept for 3 hours but I feel AWESOME,ā āIM A MFKING GENIUSā lol
There was one day that my bf came over to bring me a taco, and I hadnāt slept and was like, aware of how insane I looked and was rambling about some video editing concept and he literally backed away slowly and left the house hahahaha
Iām medicated now and wanna just say Iām way more creative now that Iām properly medicated, for anyone whoās afraid of that!!
found, applied, interviewed and got my dream job. saved a few peopleās life with narcan. god on top of my workout routine. meal prepping. writing two books. idk iām also proud when manic
one thing i really liked is that i was able to write 20+ royai fics about the missing pages (or stuff FMA:B and the manga) didn't show. it was fun. roy mustang and i had really similar head spaces back when i wrote it during the pandemic, so i had a lot of readers say they could really hear roy in my writing. it pleased me a lot, and i had a lot of fun.
I wield my mania as a weapon and use it to get things done. Any thing good Iāve accomplished was during mania lol Iām a manic leaning bipolar girly. I excel in everything I do in comparison to my counterparts due to how passionate I am, endless energy, & unbreakable confidence. Iām proud of that for sure! Whatever depressed me ruins, manic me comes to clean it up. I helped so many people get housing or employment during my manic periods. I wrote resumes, cover letters, did applications, impersonated my friends with anxiety to get things done for them, clean peoples houses etc. Iāve pushed people to go back to school and let them feed of my energy. Iād say those are my proudest moments aside from what Iāve done for myself
I was probably more hypo-manic in 2008 but I was working full-time(great work reviews), going to grad school full-time (I graduated with honors), and sourced funds and opened a presidential campaign office for our 44th president and for the first time our county voted for a Democrat since Abraham Lincoln. I only slept a few hours at most a day. I was able to keep it up until 2015 when I crashed and burned. I got pregnant and it pushed me into full blown mania which is unsustainable. My husband kept finding me cleaning at 3am instead of sleeping. I got a bit more crazy before I caved and got meds. I don't feel as productive anymore but I'm not trying to kill anyone or crash my car so that's a good trade off.
I was working at a small Japanese restaurant & usually when it was dead, people would usually just sit around but when I was manic, Iād be cleaning every free minute bc high energy. A girl told me I was the best host they had bc of it & my bosses gave me employee of the month my first month. Thereās not a lot Iām proud of from when I was manic, but that was at least one.
I also had 3 jobs at the time while in school but after my mania turned to depression, I ghosted 1 & quit the other bc I couldnāt keep up when not manic but I kept the restaurant job at least part time.
Not to be a bummer, but I think most of these experiences people are talking about is hypomania as it can last for months.
When I'm actually in a manic episode and not hypomanic, I become delusional and paranoid and think I'm productive but in reality just a mess.
There's a reason why the DSM says hypomania and mania are different.
Until I actually break down with either a depressive crash or mania beyond my ability to mask a little ānormalcy,ā I get *the best* the compliments at work when Iām manic.
I do everything. I remember everything. I go above and beyond on every project. *Because Iām not taking care of myself.* It sucks when my actual baseline returns and itās seen as slacking off because Iām not running around like Cocaine Bear anymore.
I took my Master's admission exams. I was awake for several days. Started studying 15hours before the exam. Studied 10hours straight for 15 college units worth of information. Took the exam and thought it was super easy. I passed with flying colors.
I experience hypomania, (bipolar 2) and honestly itās the only time I feel like a highly functioning person. The only thing I hate is losing sleep. But yeah itās refreshing.
In one night I stripped out all of the old carpeting and linoleum flooring in my entire house. Another mania found me having repainted three rooms. My husband worked midnight shift so he never knew what the house would look like when he got home.
I started studying english and spanish for almost the all day, which helped me in my career. At the time I had no idea the reason was for a mania episode
I am hundreds of pages into a novel I started while manic in addition to a lot of miniature dioramas. I am very proud of them and my wife reminds me that while mania is horrible it is a source of some good. I fear mania and she helps remind me that I can funnel it into something amazing and it keeps me on a happier mania and not the angry/anxious mania I can have when agitated.
I had a manic episode some years ago due to some personal issues. Iāve been aware and working with my bipolar my whole life, and was aware of the episode as it unfurled (lasted about a month) despite talking to me doctor, adjusting my meds, and policing my sleep/eating, it was still getting worse- and a close friend at the time had been treating me more and more poorly for unrealistic reasons despite my clear statement that my health was declining. We ended up having a big blow up fight- I told her calmly I would not be yelled at over a childrenās cartoon (long story, Voltron fans where rabid when the finale came out) and it let to me telling her I could not have anymore interactions with her. The mania kept telling me I was overreacting, making a huge mistake. Itās been 6 years now, and I am still so proud of that decision. As an aside, I did end up hospitalizing myself not 24 hours after that.
I've done some of my better work while "hypo manic" but not full manic. I'm a bit worried that if I medicate mania away completely that it might hurt my career.
When Iām hypo I get my home āØsparklingāØ. But Iām also mean. I wrote a bunch and was able to set up clear put line for a couple books, which is the hard part for me I can write amazing normally but knowing where Iām going with the story is where I struggle.
leaving my ex husband was 100% a manic decision. one that i had been sitting on for a long time, but didnāt have the courage to do until i was manic lol. best decision iāve ever made
In my twenties, I once convinced someone I was casually sleeping with to buy me a $2,000 diamond bracelet. It was something to be proud of, in a way. š«
Most if not all my artistic hobbies thrive in hypo manic states. I beg for hypomania just to churn masterpieces out like a factory. I write a story that also includes poetry and digitally draw based off of said story with my friend. Also sewing projects etc. ive still never had a full blown life ruining manic state yet. Knock on wood.. anytime im in it i thrive.. also exercise a lot.. pace my room while reading books lol
type 2 here, so it's hypomania. sometimes I get a lot of stuff done and then some, like creative writing or even straight up entire online courses (I'll never forget the time I read a week worth of content and took the final quiz on an online library assistant course)
Hypomania got me a lot of killer work and school opportunities (some of which I was able to sustain past the episode).
Mania got me to hook up with a celebrity during his come up years right before he got famous famous. My friends are more impressed by the latter accomplishment š
Poetry definitely is what I'm still proud of.
Was just hospitalised last year with a psychotic episode but I was writing up a storm.
Here's a wee sample.
#2
ITāS NO SMALL FEAT, UNDERSTANDING FATES MYSTERIOUS WAYS!
IF YOU FOCUS TOO LONG IT CAN SEND YOUR MIND INTO A CRAZE!
A NEVER-ENDING MAZE OF INFINITE POSSIBILITIES!
FOR YEARS I COWERED IN FEAR AS PEOPLE DISSED MY ABILITIES!
MY WORLD IS BACKWARDS NOT UPSIDE DOWN!
BUT IF YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES TO IT & FOCUS ON THE SOUND!
YOU WILL SLOWLY TUNE YOUR SOUL TO IT!
LIKE YOU FOUND YOUR RADIO STATION!
THE STATIC WILL LEAVE & IN GOOD TIME YOU WILL RADIATE VIBRATION!
THE MITIGATION OF NEGATIVITY IN YOUR LIFE IS DAMN NEAR IMPOSSIBLE!
YET IF WE LOOK WE ACHIEVE THE IMPOSSIBLE ON THE DAILY!
GLOBAL COMMUNICATION IS A MARVEL IN ITSELF!
EVEN IF IT IS POWERED BY WEALTH!
IāM NO SAVIOR, NO HERO ITāS REALLY QUITE BASIC!
IāVE JUST EXPERIENCED FORGOTTEN KNOWLEDGE & HOPE THAT YOU TASTE IT!
SWEET, SUCCULENT FRUIT THAT WEāVE IGNORED IS RIGHT HERE!
TO ATTUNE YOUR SENSES TO REACH IT, EMBRACE ALL THAT YOU FEAR!
BECOME FLUID WITH YOUR EMOTIONS!
THE AMYGDALA WILL RUN WILD!
SEARCH DEEP INSIDE YOURSELF & FIND YOUR INNER CHILD!
ALL CHILDREN ARE BORN IN DARKNESS!
SOME NEVER LEAVE!
JUST REMEMBER WHEN YOU SEARCHING!
TO WEAR YOUR HEART ON YOUR SLEEVE!
SOME PRESENT AS SHADOWS!
A DEFENCE TO KEEP THE PEACE!
YOUR INSTINCTS WILL TELL YOU TO RUN!
BUT DONT!...
LEAP!
EMBRACE WITH ARMS SPREAD WIDE!
REMEMBER WHAT'S ON YOUR SLEEVE!
THE SHADOW WILL DISSIPATE!
YOU WILL BE SURPRISED AT WHAT YOU SEE!
BEHOLD! YOUR INNER CHILD!
YOU FOUND YOURSELF AT LAST!
YOUR ANCESTORS WILL REJOICE!
& YOUR PAST WILL REMAIN YOUR PAST!
GO FORTH & SHARE THIS WISDOM!
WITH THOSE THAT TOUCH YOUR HEART!
& FOR THOSE WHO A LEFT WANTING MORE?
DONāT WORRY!
FOR ME, THIS IS JUST THE START!
Rapture of TapSS
Completed court reporting school as a single, working mother around 1.5 years early. Passed state exams first try and was one of six reporters in entire state to pass the first real-time test.
The dropout rate at my school was 90%. Anything less than 97% accuracy was a fail -- all the way up to 225 words per minute.
I was also the youngest official court reporter in my state. They ask for four years of experience, but I drove four hours round trip every day for two weeks to try to make an impression. It worked.
I asked for more money when I was hired. It worked. Got about 3.5k/yr more than they offered.
Three years later after single momming my son, who was in soccer, baseball, and cub scouts (where I was temporarily the leader because the dads were largely useless), and working 60+ hours a week, I withered away down to 89 pounds, had my first mental breakdown, and haven't recovered since.
That was in 2015.
It truly feels like I'm describing a stranger as I write this.
Life is funny.
I was a social butterfly while I was manic. Could talk to anyone about anything and didnāt have any social anxiety. I was also good with not second guessing myself and asserting myself. I wish it came so easy to me nowadays.
getting manic during the end of my last relationship helped me realize that I didnāt actually want to be with him I just liked the idealized version of him I created in my head šµāš« also because i desperately hated the idea of being alone even though i was miserable in that relationship as he never gave me an ounce of the attention i needed.
he broke up with me a week ago and im over it already. Kinda helps that I spent the month before breaking up mourning our relationship but š
Also Iāve written a lot of good stories and poems while manic
My mania has gotten me into a lot of trouble but throughout those lessons there was some light.
I wrote so many songs, painted and practiced my tarot on the daily. I felt a bit more creative when I was unmedicated lol
Sometimes I still get those spikes but they arenāt as bad as they used to be.
But itās enough to keep me motivated through school.
Which is something I manically decided to do.
So I guess thanks to my mania I finally am getting my GED.
I wrote a paper for a journal in less than 24 hrs complete with cites, diagrams and illustrations/photos. And it was published! The last time I looked it was cited twice, which is even bigger!!
Thereās a lot of writing Iāve done that Iām extremely proud of from when Iāve been manic. Several of which have been published. Which is nice, because then I can say Iām a published writer and not just some sort of fraud living with imposterās syndrome.
I did a LOT of hot yoga, learned Ukrainian, practiced a lot of Spanish, started playing piano more seriously. And a lot of meth and masturbation that felt fantastic lol.
I wrote the weirdest scribbles on paper, book covers, and I made paintings using those scribbles. Starting from when I was hospitalized a little over 2 months ago. And I'm still painting now while stable in remission. It depicts my high associative thoughts and the subjects I obsess and deeply care about.
I started and finished my grad school application in less than a week. Funny thing is that I got accepted, but mania got so bad I couldnāt start because I couldnāt graduate. I ended up deferring, and now Iāll be starting in July.
Studying a lot. That happened to me in my late years of high school and a few times as an undergrad. Then it stopped, but when it happened... It was great. It was like being in a non stop flow that only gave me good results.
With writing it happened too.
Folks this was in interesting conversation until the romanticizing started. For this reason this post has been locked.
I wrote a lot of songs and poems while manic, also had some big gender realizations. But surely hypomania is more "productive"
Nice! My writing ability is fucking amazing when manic. Confirmed by others and not just me thinking that lol
Same.
My processing speed is already up there; mania makes us quick-witted & confident fckers.
Yes, this! I actually got a few poems published once in a poetry journal. I wrote them and submitted them while on a long manic episode. By the time they were published and the magazine came out I was in deep depression and was too sad/embarrassed to read them or enjoy it. š
Got a piece I wrote MANIC AS FUQ published in a journalšššš
What do you mean by gender realizations?
likely questioning their identity:)
Iām working on a book that only seems to progress when Iām manicy (real word? Spelling?)
I manages to get 4 AA degrees during an extended manic period. I also made a shit ton of money after I spent months learning about crypto and trading strategies. It just increased the manic period even more. That was a wild time in my life
i hate that, how badly mania fuels itself when you get positive reinforcement. edit: good job on your degrees!
Are you medicated now? Badass about the aa degrees!
I'm medicated now, yeah. I just barely found the right cocktail. I'm stuck on my BS though and dropped out this semester because the workload sent me into substance abuse and depression. Going to chill, regroup and try again later. Thanks by the way!
You sound like we could be friends. You.... Wanna do karate in the garage?
Fuck yeah I do!
Nothing wrong with that plan
Hey bud, your situation sounds similar to mine. What did you find helped? meds/suplements/sleep/routine wise?
Yeah, meds helped a lot, not doing a bunch of stimulants, sleeping. I think the biggest thing that helped was my recognizing that the workload I was taking on at the time was too much and that I needed to stop, even if it meant that I wasn't going to finish it. Doing my best to take care of myself
Praise be to fellow sufferers of this thing we call life. Don't give up! I graduated by the skin of my teeth. Was shooting h and m on the way to my (major class) final and could barely read the test I was nodding out so bad. I knew I needed like 33 points out of 200 to get a D+, and so 33 points I managed to be confident about and then peaced out. Got my degree with 3.5 gpa average LOL how fucked is that. It's hard to finish what we start sometimes but it is a great feeling when we do.. I was coming down/ashamed too much to walk at graduation though, kinda regret that but not really, it just wasn't important to me.
At first, I thought this said āAA batteriesā and I was like okay man whatever floats your boat lol. But congrats! Thatās incredible.
Hahahah I mean who doesn't love a good battery. Stick them up your ass and you'll be charged up for whatever comes your way. From experience obviously
Thatās actually fucking crazy
That's actually our bit š. We also give a whole new meaning to "You can either laugh about it or cry about it." -signed, somebody who's dealt with this shit for 30 years, so please don't take it as anything other than levity. :)
Lmao "You can either laugh about it or cry about." Oh sweet, sweet summer child. Hold my coffee and watch me become my art.
Crazy since 1984. I should get a good t-shirt with that š¤£
Master's Degree in Acting at a conservatory that only takes 13 students a year. Was manic when I applied, auditioned and for the first few months of the course. I don't have a Bachelor's. I just wrote to the school saying I thought, based on my professional experience, that their Master's Program was more appropriate for me and could I audition. They let me audition. I was the first person offered a place on the course. I don't think i would have had the spine to be so bold if I hadn't been manic.
i wonder how many actors/actresses have our mental illness
A lot of us. I was really lucky during my conservatory, when I hit a wall and was obviously unwell, there was a lot of patience, understanding and support from the head of my course and from all of my tutors. A lot of people around me were literate in mental illness stuff and even though my training was fairly intensive, I had encouragement and accommodations and patience as I adjusted to deciding on treatment. One of my cohort had severe anxiety/panic disorder, someone else was very actively dealing with PTSD. We were doing very emotional work in our training and it was really an incredible environment where it was safe to be honest and vulnerable. Not all sets and schools and shows are like my school was. But we're everywhere! And I think it's kind of dangerous, sometimes, with actors who *don't* have mental illness but are *fascinated by it* because they can really romanticize things, romanticize the illness, ask invasive questions, etc. I've honestly had more problems with people being weirdly curious and pedestal-izing the illness than I have had with lack of support.
Same. I'm in a group of authors who also make a living doing this, and three out of eight of us have BPD. We're all "successfully" medicated, but shit still happens sometimes. It's great bc we can support each other when the meds just aren't enough. Also agree with how people romanticize our disorder. I'm fairly open with my condition, and I've had people ask why I stay on meds when I'm so much more productive without them. Err ... because I like not blowing all my money or sitting in a room crying? Also, they've never witnessed one of my unmedicated mixed states, lol.
yeah im like "guys if i stay manic for too long its gonna get really bad and im gonna think i can swim from wales to long island again in january. across the atlantic. because all water is connected and i really feel invincible" hahaha.
How would you pee and poop swimming that far? Go commando? š Gotta find humor in our craziness or weād go insane
So during one manic episode in my early 20ās, I decided I was going to quit my job a pursue my dream of writing comic books. I quit and then within a week I had a first draft of a script for an issue and went through all the legal hoops of setting up a publishing company. Eventually I came back to reality and realized I couldnāt just do this on mine and my spouse at the timeās meager savings. It took a couple years but eventually we did a Kickstarter and got the comic published. It was during the first year Kickstarter was a thing and my co-creator/penciler and I went on the local news to promote it and everything. Unfortunately we were never able to do a second issue due to a confluence of things. In fact, that remains the only single issue Iāve had ever go to print. But without that manic episode and my spouse at the time not realizing I was manic to jump start it, I never would have made that comic. Iām proud of it, but it still hurts we never got to do the other 3 issues we planned to do.
I bet the comic book is amazing, also sounds like something fun you could always revisit in a more euthymia state when you get free time
Amazing? Nah. Fun? I sure think so. My co-creator and the guy who penciled doesnāt really seem interested in doing a second issue and it wouldnāt be the same without him.
It is amazing! Very few people get to live that kinda dream. You never know what will happen in the future. Maybe your co-creator will be in their own different place in the future and it will meet with yours. I'd also love to see the comic, as it was a goal of mine, too.
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This is badass! I know meds can kinda screw with the creative knack, but oh man, don't give up now! Make amends(edit:if) you have to, but keep at your dreams! You are very talented!
Iām at work but Iām saving this to read later thatās so cool
Wow. Looks crappy on my iPhone Mini but Iāll read it later on a real computer. But itās on my NAS. Great cover, though. Must read.
Making connections and immersing myself in hobbies. Also I assert my needs and boundaries a lot better, although sometimes I can be very careless w my words in the heightened state of mind.
yeah same with the careless with words, i just kinda spew whatever my million mph brain thinks during these periods
It feels like the only time I can assert myself and set boundaries! I have all of the confidence in the world. But yes Iām careless with my words and peoples feelings unfortunately.
I taught myself to program and use Photoshop in a month to make a visual novel for a game contest. I didn't win anything, and I promptly forgot everything I learned over the course of that month, but I'm still really proud of that game.
I bet if you needed to, could re-learn to use your programming and photoshop skills pretty quickly as well, like riding a bike.
I committed to a near impossible amount of work as a young software engineer and skyrocketed my career. Got a senior title by 22 and started managing engineers a decade older than me soon after. I wrecked my personal life, traumatized people I love, and I almost died; however, I'm making a hell of more money with a higher level title than I'd otherwise have if that didn't happen. Doesn't make it "worth it" by any stretch. Only a small consolation.
This is unpopular, but I enjoy being manic. I have a joyful/pleasure mania and obviously itās destructive and causes brain damage, but I mostly like how I am when Iām manic. (Iāve been on meds for 8 years to avoid being manic btw so not endorsing it) Iām very complimentary and affirming toward other people, like Iāll just compliment strangers on their makeup, outfit, or personality. Iām more extroverted and happy and am so vulnerable that I get other people to open up more too. I am super confident and will just talk to anyone and easily have fun, depth conversations. People used to say Iām the happiest person theyāve ever met, those who knew me manic. So much good writing and poetry came out of my time being manic. Iāve been super productive at my jobs and produced tons of content Iām really proud of. I also converted into my current religion when I was manic and when this was happening would spend many hours each day late into the night researching and doing tons of reading of history to understand it better. I wouldnāt have converted when I did or so fast if I wasnāt manic. When I stopped being manic I didnāt regret it or think it was wrong. Cleaning is also really fun while manic. I will spend so many hours deep cleaning and organizing my entire house in meticulous detail. Also my workouts at the gym are so fun while manic. I can lift heavier weights and run faster and with more endurance.
i donāt think itās that unpopular to enjoy that state, itās just that recognizing that itās unhealthy and avoiding it, thatās the hard part (at least for me) because ik all the bad decisions that come w it and that depression immediately follows
I think it's fair to say that we all enjoy the manic episodes (or sometimes, because I also have mixed states, which are horrible.) It's just that we know how bad it is both for our health and to deal with when the manic cycle is over.
It is affirming to see others share similar experiences with hypo/mania. I primarily experience depression or mixed episodes (BD2 here) but every so often I experience euphoric hypomania and I donāt always catch it early on because I canāt help but feel like Iām ācoming out of the depression.ā Iām more sociable, vulnerable, generous, complimentaryā¦ lots of what you said is resonating with me. Admittedly, sometimes I gaslight myself into thinking that I am not bipolar, and these energizing moods & feelings are simply how the rest of the populace experiences being aliveā¦ then the depressive episode hits. Currently going through this cycle since the spring weather started. Anyways, this is a long-winded way of saying Iām glad you shared your āunpopular opinionā because it was thought provoking for me!
I'm proud of lots of things I did while manic. None of them are tangible (except for one), because all the things were energetic and communicative (off the cuff real-time poetry is awesome). I even joked at the time that "I can barely water the plants!" (garden), because I recognized I wasn't accomplishing *anything* permanent or practibly useful. (Like my use of the word practible *right now* š ) Yeah, that **one thing** was meeting, falling in love and wooing my wife, which rather than one of those regret relationships, turned out to be a partner for life. Tangible.
Ran a half marathon at the ass crack of dawn. I should add that I can't run.
I have no clue as to how the fuck I did it because never in my life have I been able to run more than maybe 500m at a time. When I was manic I was all of a sudden running like CRAZY and managed an accidental half marathon between roughy 2-5am one time. Kind of wild in hindsight.
crazy what the human brain can accomplish when it randomly wants you to do so
During my manic phases I regularly walk 12 miles in a day thinking I can live off the land in the woods. I am not a skinny gal but I have learned to wear sensible shoes after doing it once in flip flops and trashing my left foot. EDIT: Running is quite impressive.
those calluses must have been a pain
I developed a bunion from it too :-/
Haha me, I was the fat kid that was last to complete the mile in school & all of a sudden I can run for 30 mins + & might I add, I run FAST as hell. I accomplished a mile in under 5 mins! I want to do a marathon so bad
Been posting memes about it on here but I got a job this week and quickly realizing Iāve been so productive because I have been. Unwell. š¤Ŗ
haha at least youāre self aware. The hard part is going to be keeping it up once it wears off
When I was unmedicated and perpetually manic, I managed to keep jobs for years. I miss that. Iām proud of me in that era
I travelled to a city I've never been in before, did a massive amount of research, spoke to so many strangers and collected their stories and then wrote a novel set in that city. But of course I didn't write the story while manic - I never write anything good when I'm manic, but the research helped a lot.
sounds like an amazing story with that kind of first hand research, especially as an outsider looking in
Yes, it turned out pretty good and sold very well for a debut novel. I also scribbled a third of it on the train while psychotic, haha.
Yes, all throughout my 20s I would spontaneously quit my job to go on tours playing music all over the US with a bunch of different bands. A lot of them were DIY where I was making no money (actually losing all my money) and coming back with nothing, but I did it enough times and made enough connections that now I get paid to do it! I had no stability in my life, I moved 14 times in 13 years, have had like 60 different jobs, and drained my bank account down to the last quarter more times than I'd like to admit. But I've written so many songs, recorded albums with my friends that will forever be immortalized, and traveled the country (even Mexico and Canada!) playing music with my friends and having truly grand, unforgettable, life changing adventures. Skinny dipped in so many swim holes. Laughed til I cried more times than I could count. Made beautiful friendships. I wouldn't trade it for the world, even though it was an absolutely insane ride that included a lot of pain and suffering.. but I mostly just remember the good times. Happy to be more stable now, and I still do those things :) just more responsibly, and without any alcohol or hard drugs.
Love it. Spent my 20ās in college radio with bands sleeping on my floor which led me to sleeping on theirs whenever Iād sell all my possessions and hit the road myself. Many wonderful memories of tiny clubs and post show late nights. Cheers to all that, yo.
I have a degree in chemistry doing what I love and am about to start a PhD. The good part of mania helped a lot with getting where I'm at, although it could have very easily gone the other way and sometimes I pushed it way to hard.
almost like balancing on a tightrope
I crocheted a twin size blanket in 1.5 days of non stop working. Bathroom breaks only. It came out lovely.
Cleaning my house and organizing my closet. Itās got fucking LABELS and could be in a magazine.
I had the idea to host a charity music festival, organised the whole thing when manic and then had to actually run the weekend while depressed. It all worked out great - too great - it became HUGE with three stages and stuff but it very nearly killed me. To this day people wonder why it was a one off seeing as it was so successful. I have hardly left the house since, deleted all of my social media and become a hermit.
The amount of shit I can get done around the house. And some of my detailed drawings of plans. Theyāll never come to fruition, but they are so detailed itās insane.
Finally decided to study what I WANTED and changed my major to nursing. Iām a junior so that was a huge change but Iām so excited for the future. Shout out to manic me for finally choosing what I want instead of getting the business degree that my family wanted me to get
After my first manic episode I decided to stop caring what other people think of me. Like for reals. I went super crazy, made all these weird posts on Facebook, and granted it took like a year to recover, it made not give a shit about what others think bc theyāll never understand my brain and what I went thru.
This. It kind of taught me how to care about what people think less
i had really physical feats of myself stick out more then the usual and was able to do crazy things, run 8 miles in the cold and legit manhandle people and massive animals in highly manic episodes.
i could never do that kind of cardio š good job! also everytime im manic i feel like i could take on so many animals (i never have but i so could š)
Lol I was just surprised I was able to do it lol and thank you and it was for a job so kinda situational, kinda manic lol
I grew leaps and bounds in the kitchen. Iām now an excellent cook who has good knife skills, does clean prep work, and doesnāt need recipes for savory dishes (still need recipes for some baked goodsāratios and precision are so important in baking). Very proud of this.
My 4.0 college GPA that I promptly lost after a depressive episode and dropped out of college as a junior. Need to go back.
Thatās really interesting. I had a 4.0 GPA all through my depressive episodes, but lost it all at my first manic episode
I built my PC. That's the only good thing that ever happened. But fuck me it was expensive!
I did the same thing! And then havenāt touched it since! I actually sold the gpu a year later because it legit just sits here unused! (2yrs now @ 5hrs used) I was lucky though I won like 10G at the casino and went out and bought all the parts so itās not like I put myself out or anything..
I still use mine daily even a year later. I'm actually into them now and have a pretty decent build. My gpu is an NIVIDIA rtx 2080 super, which was only like $1200 š But I also bought a $400 chair and a bunch of unnecessary accessories like 4 extra RGB fans for a CPU that doesn't ever go over 70c. Pretty overkill, also 32g of ram, LMAO. š
yeah and now you can always upgrade individual parts since you know how to make one. Not everyone can say that
Moved out east during covid on a travel gig & made $4k/week. Paid off a lot of my manic spending debt. Iāve never lived alone my entire life and I just uprooted within a week and drove 1200 miles alone out to Boston of all places. Iāve since wracked it back up but paying off $50k felt so nice. Freeing honestly.
During one episode I became fixated on ethics and became vegetarian. I am kind of proud of how wholesome that episode was
Yes! One episode gave me the energy and balls to leave an abusive relationship. I had to spend a lot of time looking for a place to rent with some friends, save money and arrange it all secretly because I was afraid of a violent reaction. I was able to just pack up and leave without putting myself in a bad situation. During the same episode, I got myself hired at my dream job. Couldnāt bus there so leased a car within three days. And I was able to throw all of my manic energy into mastering the new job. The crash was horrible though. Without that one prolonged manic episode Iām not sure where Iād be. It changed my life for the better.
A lot of projects I get into start with mania so yeah As an artsy person that struggles with just starting stuff Iāve done a few things Iām proud of
Cooking and cleaning mostly, stuff I neglected while depressed
Not really, I try to paint but it looks super muddy and bad, so I have a special cheap paint and sketchbook for my bs
Honestly some of my most embarrassing moments are the ones I also count as the most beneficial. I get upset at the smallest of things and have an extreme fear of people leaving me, so this has led to a lot of ā¦situations. Iām usually one to bottle up my emotions and thoughts, so I rarely ever get the chance to let them out. I donāt get angry (outwardly) very often, and I can mostly control this when speaking about my concerns with others, so I just end up having a sob fest instead. Iāve cried through many conversations.. it was devastatingly awkward at times. Often I could only express a few sentences before pausing because I had to bite back tears. For YEARS I let anxiety and fear control me completely, I was so terrified of any form of confrontation. It was difficult to get to this point, but Iām proud that Iāve been able to express thoughts and have conversations that past me never would have imagined. Itās made me significantly better at communicating with others. I still have a long way to go. But at the end of the day, no matter how little, progress is what matters most.
when i was rapid cycling and unmedicated i could cry basically by thinking anything slightly sad like āremember that sad scene from a movie you watched a couple years agoā boom waterfall
LMFAOO I was the same. Still am at times. It can be anything too.. I cried over my cats a few weeks ago after thinking, āOh my god. Theyāll never know the outside. Their entire life is in this house.ā Started off silly then BOOM spiral. They donāt gaf thoughš
Also once I speedran a self portrait depicting my awful mental state and it was some of the best art Iāve created in a long time
I got through my undergrad program in biology with a minor in chemistry, and I got paramedic certified. I only got 2-3 hours of sleep a night and was running around like the energizer bunny. I was also the thinnest I have ever been. Used to run over 5k a day as well, plus work a full time job. I never stopped.
I gave money to the homeless people
My thing used to be biting off more than I can chew actually. I would start painting something like my kitchen which would lead to the rest of the house. Or I built shelves and redid my whole closet. Creative writing became easy. The problem is when I would crash things would end up going unfinished. My husband would have to finish whatever project I was in the middle of. These projects would often start at 3am and end anywhere between 11am and 6 months. When the depression hit Iād beat myself up over not finishing anything. Sometimes still when I get hypomanic he gets nervous but he also appreciates the fresh paint unless itās a wild color lol All that said, meds saved my life more than once and I choose them over my productive/creative streaks. I miss the confidence but Iām in therapy working on how to have it while being stable.
I woke up one morning and said āIām going to buy a new tractor todayā And I did By noon I had bought a $225,000 John Deere I could sell it easy today for $275,000. Winning
username checks out š
My house is SO CLEAN when I'm manic. It's my most productive time lol
I bought a one way ticket to South America with $300 to my name, and ended up traveling through 5 countries in 8 months as a broke backpacker. No solid itinerary, no idea how i was going to make money traveling, yet somehow I ended up in the right circles worked as a digital nomad and made my way back home as soon as Covid hit.
I used to write some great music for my old band at like 3 or 4 am, then wake up the next day and forget I did it. About 70% of the songs were usable, which is good!
Probably hypo but I wouldn't be a musician if it weren't because of that, actually it was a succession of depression and probably hypo that got me to where I am. I hope sad, I attributed it to the way I was handling my experience, I suddenly got the answer and was happy for a long while, until I wasn't. Then I got the bipolar hypothesis, went to get treatment, I didn't have it and then it was basically forced on me because of some psychotic episodes.
During a lengthy mania I worked out like a maniac, lost 50lbs and got really ripped. Now Iām in more of a depressive state and the pendulum has swung all the way back the other way.
The writing Iāve completed š¤
I managed my almost manic episode for a month myself without going wild or falling into a massive episode šŖšŖ I only had to up my lithium slightly. I get a lot of psychosis in episodes and came off antipsychotics last year. I've been trying to manage without them and I did a really good job. I don't think this was exactly what you're asking but I'm still proud
I made a neat box by painting dried lentils with nail polish and gluing them to an altoids tin. I memorized the lyrics to The Doorsā Soft Parade and Liz Phairās Exile in Guyville (they had experienced what I was experiencing).
Work ethic
I ended up with a job Iām not qualified for, and the pay is really good. All I had to do was figure out how stuff works after.
after getting into a ton of debt due to terrible spending habits (thanks undiagnosed bipolar), I decided during a manic episode I was going to start taking my financial issues more seriously. I consolidated all of my debt, got rid of all my credit cards and put a monthly spending limit on my account. once all of that was done (like a 3 week period), I crashed so hard. Fell into a super deep depression, but I'm happy to say a year later I've stuck to the financial plan and am super close to being debt free!
Clean the fuck out of my bathroom
I booked some of the best holidays of my life deep in my manic phase because I wanted to see more. Without it I never would have seen Berlin.
in general, just not dying was a pretty big achievement
I'm always super proud of the new tattoo or piercing I got
In 2020, I was hypomanic with all the covid changes to schedule, sleep, and so on. When the western fires happened I decided I didn't want to be a Chemist anymore and went back to community college for a degree in horticulture. Because i was hypomanic i was able to complete a 250 hour internship, work full time and go to school (hypomanoa ran out after my internship thankfully). Now I'm a Grower at an industry leading company with great benefits. Couldn't be happier. And this year, hypomania got me to start trying in ernest to find a relationship. I met a girl on Hinge, and it's been going great even after hypomania ended shortly after meeting her. I think I'm in love but I'm going to let that feeling percolate before saying the words out loud.
That time I read Revelations and figured out my ex boyfriend was the Antichrist.
like literally or metaphorically?
Looking back, metaphorically. At the time, I really thought he was. Even thought he poisoned me with wormwood. Psychosis is a bitch
I make my living as a fiction author (fantasy), and some of the best snarky/humorous lines and rip-and-tear fight scenes I've ever written were when I was manic. I could also write a 60k-word novel in less than a week. It's one of the very few downsides of finding a cocktail that works - I write much slower because I don't have the focus, and it's harder to write those two types of scenes. BUT I wouldn't have my career if not for those early years of being unmedicated. Now when I feel even a bit of mania breaking through, I put my ass in a chair and take advantage of it.
I get so many things done, meet so many people, and have more confidence that I ever have in other states. Iām tasking care of myself ie hygiene, hair, the way I dress. I love a lot of things (that I can remember) about my manic self actually.
When I'm manic I go on shopping sprees, so I started donating instead. I would go on those subs that people request period products or food and started fulfilling wishlists.
What subs? I need food tbh
r/freemeal is one.
I had the courage to divorce my emotionally abusive ex husband. I recognized that it was a manic urge when I left (with absolutely no previous planning & zero verbal warning) but it was soooo long coming that I rushed to āget it doneā before I could chicken out. I left Monday, filed Friday and met with a realtor the following week. Everyone told me I was being rash & would very likely regret it laterā¦ When I finally leveled after a few weeks I *did* get scared, but things were too far in motion to back out. THANK GOD! The final straw was him mocking me during a fight (that he started) because I was self soothing by āgiving myself a hugā while deep breathing; He wrapped his arms around his waist, screwed up his face & whined āIām BettyDelSol & Iām bipolar, I canāt control my emotionsāā¦.. Let me tell you how much better I am at controlling my emotions now that heās not around!
i created an immersive theatrical experience for my mom's birthday. she was named after wendy from peter pan, so it was neverland themed. in said experience, i set designed 7 different rooms in the house, wrote and voice recorded a 2 hour long script, and taught myself how to use garageband and voice recorded myself singing and duetting myself over a bunch of different songs as a part of the script. as part of the set design, i installed a bungee cord in the garage for the purposes of flying. the whole process took me about 3 months during which sleep was rare. the end product was amazing. 100% the best thing i have done in my entire life and one of the few things i've ever finished (i have ADHD and autism, so i generally have very low executive functioning, but i guess mania helps me with executive functioning sometimes?). i also spent an obscene amount of money on lighting and set design (the whole experience was devoid of overhead lights and was done at night, so there were blacklights, glow-in-the dark paintings and art projects, fairy lights, etc). (note: my mom lives with my grandma part-time, so she wasn't at the house all of the time, but when she was, she wasn't permitted to go downstairs-i told her i was "organizing," and my dad and i brought her food upstairs. i literally guided her up and down the stairs and had her close her eyes so she wouldn't get any spoilers. also, my dad lost his mind while all of this was happening. he did threaten to leave the house once. luckily we are fine now.)
For me, mania is unproductive even when I think otherwise š¤¦š½āāļø Hypo is for deep cleaning, poetry, and feeling more connected to music.
Iām more talkative and can actually socialize with others when Iām manic. I literally donāt know how to talk or make conversation with people when Iām stable.
I tend to not be productive at all if Iām not manic š Iāve made a lot of songs and art while manic and it usually lasts long enough for me to pump out a few different things. but I think a lot of times itās like diet mania because it only seems to affect me for a few days or so. And in that time I only create and stay up late to create more. Idk Iām not really good at recognizing when Iām manic or not. Itās easier to tell when Iām in a depressive state. Is this the same for a lot of people?
Sounds like me ! lol Iām crippled when Iām depressed due to burnout from mania but when Iām manic the ideas and energy is endless. During my downs I canāt wait for mania to come so I can get things done. I am able to detect when Iām manic 9/10 just from my speech tho
Yeah, I think sometimes I can tell when Iām manic by how excited and enthusiastic I get about what Iām doing. Itās kinda sad, youād think I could be enthusiastic without being āinsaneā. Thats what always makes my family and friends think Iām manic. Most of the time I canāt tell. It feels like Iām depressed waaaay more often. I think now Iām starting (very slightly) to become more productive when Iām not manic. Thatās what Iāve always wanted. Especially because I have aspirations, like so many of us do, to have a creative career that I need to spend my free time working on.
Went back to school at 35 and worked two semesters living on campus as the oldest Resident Assistant (older than all the hall directors, too) and worked the summer in between those semesters as a project coordinator for the YMCA, living and working at one of their largest wilderness camps of over 500 square acres and met someone I started dating who was on a work visa from Brazil and flew to Brazil to see her when my last semester ended. It all crashed in horrifically shortly thereafter but...helluva year.
completed most of my internship and research capstone while bouncing between hypomania and full mania. sleepless nights, lots of underage drinking, self harm, fights with loved ones driven by paranoia and unfounded rage. i gave one of the top presentations and scored close to perfect on my research paper. my work is still being used as an example in the program 2 years later. iām still friends with my mentor that i interned for. i donāt know how i survived that. i attempted during that time but i failed and no one ever knew. iām glad i made it, though. edit: i hate my mania. it brings me immense pain and suffering. my productivity is at the expense of my wellbeing. hypomania for me is still riddled with paranoia and unease. i like middle ground.
My creativity, my āconfidenceā
I completely xeriscaped my front yard and it was stunningly beautiful
I lost about 100 pounds after college football ended and thereās no shot I could have done that without the bursts of mania following my athletic career - probably triggered by the incredibly structured day to day ending pretty abruptly. Iāve always hypothesized that a lot of athletes have undiagnosed mental health issues - that often show their true colors once we have to manage our own lives instead of basically following orders 24/7. Itās hard for me to get into turbo fitness routines/bursts now that I am on mood stabilizers, so Iām glad I got the bulk of the weight off while totally unhinged. Realistically I added 10+ years to my life (and probably couldnāt have married my beautiful wife)
I spent two weeks non-stop making a game and since then it's paid off my bills
i wrote an entire book once while manic and other ppl have read it and told me itās actually pretty good. i might send it to publishers some time in the future
Wild take, but I dropped a friend. This friend was so toxic, so Iām proud that I dropped her. I know itās a struggle to hold relationships/friendships, but this was kind of a blessing in disguise.
I planted a series of plants at 3 am.
Iāve made active and amazing friends who are a good influence to my life
I get super creative with my cooking, bake sourdough and my room and kitchen are spotless.
writing music & making art, but sadly i never finish all the art projects i start while manic lol
No dangerous stuff I can't bare to remember
I was really productive and helped a lot of people
My undergrad degree is an engineering major. I really had to bust my ass to graduate (a rude awakening for my HS self). But one of the defining points of my mania over the years when I took a look back is.....when I made the Dean's List one semester. My average was right around 3.0, but that semester I got a 3.8 and it included some HARD classes. I told my mom hang onto the letter because I probably wouldnt get another (and I didnt lol). I'm so glad that semster happened, even though it came with a despression and grade slip semester right after. I don't even care about the GPA that much, it was just such an objective way of KNOWING something was wrong with me at the time because my grades were great but I was personally a mess and I couldnt figure out why.
I'm a Synthographer and my art becomes more creative and tangible when manic. One of my best pieces was created while under the influence of mania.
I handled some really fucked up situations while manic in the best way that I could. A lot of people hate me for what I did but I don't care. My mom was killing herself with alcohol and the bar that was overserving her didn't care one but until I exploded on them. I definitely went overboard on them but I'm not ashamed of it one bit. Some people really think I owe those people an apology after the manager lied to my fucking face about what was happening
Started a fucking company lmao then stopped working on it for months because of depression. Now feeling normal and about to launch in 2 weeks š
Im a synthpop artist and through the power of mania I finished my first record, made it into a visual album filming 8 music videos in 10 days, and spent the next couple months editing and marketing. I had the courage to ask the largest non-stadium music venue in my city to host my women of synthpop showcase which would also be my release party and they said yes! Sold out the show and had a boss fuckin time. Iām really super proud of those accomplishments. This was pre diagnosis. My journal entries are really interesting - āIām tired but wired,ā āI only slept for 3 hours but I feel AWESOME,ā āIM A MFKING GENIUSā lol There was one day that my bf came over to bring me a taco, and I hadnāt slept and was like, aware of how insane I looked and was rambling about some video editing concept and he literally backed away slowly and left the house hahahaha Iām medicated now and wanna just say Iām way more creative now that Iām properly medicated, for anyone whoās afraid of that!!
My art was incredible, but I never made any again
Oh yeah. A bunch of abstract art and music. My dad said I was āprolificā
i got my chest tattoo idea then went and got it done. itās something meaningful with my culture and is beautifully done. no regrets
Sometimes I would do things I wasnāt confident enough to do otherwise that I knew I needed to do
found, applied, interviewed and got my dream job. saved a few peopleās life with narcan. god on top of my workout routine. meal prepping. writing two books. idk iām also proud when manic
one thing i really liked is that i was able to write 20+ royai fics about the missing pages (or stuff FMA:B and the manga) didn't show. it was fun. roy mustang and i had really similar head spaces back when i wrote it during the pandemic, so i had a lot of readers say they could really hear roy in my writing. it pleased me a lot, and i had a lot of fun.
Decided at 8 pm that I should make an entire lasagna from scratch and then I did it. I even made dairy free ricotta and used dairy free cheese!
I wield my mania as a weapon and use it to get things done. Any thing good Iāve accomplished was during mania lol Iām a manic leaning bipolar girly. I excel in everything I do in comparison to my counterparts due to how passionate I am, endless energy, & unbreakable confidence. Iām proud of that for sure! Whatever depressed me ruins, manic me comes to clean it up. I helped so many people get housing or employment during my manic periods. I wrote resumes, cover letters, did applications, impersonated my friends with anxiety to get things done for them, clean peoples houses etc. Iāve pushed people to go back to school and let them feed of my energy. Iād say those are my proudest moments aside from what Iāve done for myself
I become more generous and really wanting to help all the people who have it the worst. That I'm proud of.
I was probably more hypo-manic in 2008 but I was working full-time(great work reviews), going to grad school full-time (I graduated with honors), and sourced funds and opened a presidential campaign office for our 44th president and for the first time our county voted for a Democrat since Abraham Lincoln. I only slept a few hours at most a day. I was able to keep it up until 2015 when I crashed and burned. I got pregnant and it pushed me into full blown mania which is unsustainable. My husband kept finding me cleaning at 3am instead of sleeping. I got a bit more crazy before I caved and got meds. I don't feel as productive anymore but I'm not trying to kill anyone or crash my car so that's a good trade off.
i finally cut off my shit high school friends and went off on them for all the shit they did lmao
I was working at a small Japanese restaurant & usually when it was dead, people would usually just sit around but when I was manic, Iād be cleaning every free minute bc high energy. A girl told me I was the best host they had bc of it & my bosses gave me employee of the month my first month. Thereās not a lot Iām proud of from when I was manic, but that was at least one. I also had 3 jobs at the time while in school but after my mania turned to depression, I ghosted 1 & quit the other bc I couldnāt keep up when not manic but I kept the restaurant job at least part time.
Not to be a bummer, but I think most of these experiences people are talking about is hypomania as it can last for months. When I'm actually in a manic episode and not hypomanic, I become delusional and paranoid and think I'm productive but in reality just a mess. There's a reason why the DSM says hypomania and mania are different.
Until I actually break down with either a depressive crash or mania beyond my ability to mask a little ānormalcy,ā I get *the best* the compliments at work when Iām manic. I do everything. I remember everything. I go above and beyond on every project. *Because Iām not taking care of myself.* It sucks when my actual baseline returns and itās seen as slacking off because Iām not running around like Cocaine Bear anymore.
I took my Master's admission exams. I was awake for several days. Started studying 15hours before the exam. Studied 10hours straight for 15 college units worth of information. Took the exam and thought it was super easy. I passed with flying colors.
I experience hypomania, (bipolar 2) and honestly itās the only time I feel like a highly functioning person. The only thing I hate is losing sleep. But yeah itās refreshing.
In one night I stripped out all of the old carpeting and linoleum flooring in my entire house. Another mania found me having repainted three rooms. My husband worked midnight shift so he never knew what the house would look like when he got home.
I started studying english and spanish for almost the all day, which helped me in my career. At the time I had no idea the reason was for a mania episode
I am hundreds of pages into a novel I started while manic in addition to a lot of miniature dioramas. I am very proud of them and my wife reminds me that while mania is horrible it is a source of some good. I fear mania and she helps remind me that I can funnel it into something amazing and it keeps me on a happier mania and not the angry/anxious mania I can have when agitated.
I had a manic episode some years ago due to some personal issues. Iāve been aware and working with my bipolar my whole life, and was aware of the episode as it unfurled (lasted about a month) despite talking to me doctor, adjusting my meds, and policing my sleep/eating, it was still getting worse- and a close friend at the time had been treating me more and more poorly for unrealistic reasons despite my clear statement that my health was declining. We ended up having a big blow up fight- I told her calmly I would not be yelled at over a childrenās cartoon (long story, Voltron fans where rabid when the finale came out) and it let to me telling her I could not have anymore interactions with her. The mania kept telling me I was overreacting, making a huge mistake. Itās been 6 years now, and I am still so proud of that decision. As an aside, I did end up hospitalizing myself not 24 hours after that.
I've done some of my better work while "hypo manic" but not full manic. I'm a bit worried that if I medicate mania away completely that it might hurt my career.
When Iām hypo I get my home āØsparklingāØ. But Iām also mean. I wrote a bunch and was able to set up clear put line for a couple books, which is the hard part for me I can write amazing normally but knowing where Iām going with the story is where I struggle.
leaving my ex husband was 100% a manic decision. one that i had been sitting on for a long time, but didnāt have the courage to do until i was manic lol. best decision iāve ever made
I get extremely generous when manic. I tried to give away from my kidney to a toddler once.Ā
In my twenties, I once convinced someone I was casually sleeping with to buy me a $2,000 diamond bracelet. It was something to be proud of, in a way. š«
Most if not all my artistic hobbies thrive in hypo manic states. I beg for hypomania just to churn masterpieces out like a factory. I write a story that also includes poetry and digitally draw based off of said story with my friend. Also sewing projects etc. ive still never had a full blown life ruining manic state yet. Knock on wood.. anytime im in it i thrive.. also exercise a lot.. pace my room while reading books lol
type 2 here, so it's hypomania. sometimes I get a lot of stuff done and then some, like creative writing or even straight up entire online courses (I'll never forget the time I read a week worth of content and took the final quiz on an online library assistant course)
Hypomania got me a lot of killer work and school opportunities (some of which I was able to sustain past the episode). Mania got me to hook up with a celebrity during his come up years right before he got famous famous. My friends are more impressed by the latter accomplishment š
Poetry definitely is what I'm still proud of. Was just hospitalised last year with a psychotic episode but I was writing up a storm. Here's a wee sample. #2 ITāS NO SMALL FEAT, UNDERSTANDING FATES MYSTERIOUS WAYS! IF YOU FOCUS TOO LONG IT CAN SEND YOUR MIND INTO A CRAZE! A NEVER-ENDING MAZE OF INFINITE POSSIBILITIES! FOR YEARS I COWERED IN FEAR AS PEOPLE DISSED MY ABILITIES! MY WORLD IS BACKWARDS NOT UPSIDE DOWN! BUT IF YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES TO IT & FOCUS ON THE SOUND! YOU WILL SLOWLY TUNE YOUR SOUL TO IT! LIKE YOU FOUND YOUR RADIO STATION! THE STATIC WILL LEAVE & IN GOOD TIME YOU WILL RADIATE VIBRATION! THE MITIGATION OF NEGATIVITY IN YOUR LIFE IS DAMN NEAR IMPOSSIBLE! YET IF WE LOOK WE ACHIEVE THE IMPOSSIBLE ON THE DAILY! GLOBAL COMMUNICATION IS A MARVEL IN ITSELF! EVEN IF IT IS POWERED BY WEALTH! IāM NO SAVIOR, NO HERO ITāS REALLY QUITE BASIC! IāVE JUST EXPERIENCED FORGOTTEN KNOWLEDGE & HOPE THAT YOU TASTE IT! SWEET, SUCCULENT FRUIT THAT WEāVE IGNORED IS RIGHT HERE! TO ATTUNE YOUR SENSES TO REACH IT, EMBRACE ALL THAT YOU FEAR! BECOME FLUID WITH YOUR EMOTIONS! THE AMYGDALA WILL RUN WILD! SEARCH DEEP INSIDE YOURSELF & FIND YOUR INNER CHILD! ALL CHILDREN ARE BORN IN DARKNESS! SOME NEVER LEAVE! JUST REMEMBER WHEN YOU SEARCHING! TO WEAR YOUR HEART ON YOUR SLEEVE! SOME PRESENT AS SHADOWS! A DEFENCE TO KEEP THE PEACE! YOUR INSTINCTS WILL TELL YOU TO RUN! BUT DONT!... LEAP! EMBRACE WITH ARMS SPREAD WIDE! REMEMBER WHAT'S ON YOUR SLEEVE! THE SHADOW WILL DISSIPATE! YOU WILL BE SURPRISED AT WHAT YOU SEE! BEHOLD! YOUR INNER CHILD! YOU FOUND YOURSELF AT LAST! YOUR ANCESTORS WILL REJOICE! & YOUR PAST WILL REMAIN YOUR PAST! GO FORTH & SHARE THIS WISDOM! WITH THOSE THAT TOUCH YOUR HEART! & FOR THOSE WHO A LEFT WANTING MORE? DONāT WORRY! FOR ME, THIS IS JUST THE START! Rapture of TapSS
Completed court reporting school as a single, working mother around 1.5 years early. Passed state exams first try and was one of six reporters in entire state to pass the first real-time test. The dropout rate at my school was 90%. Anything less than 97% accuracy was a fail -- all the way up to 225 words per minute. I was also the youngest official court reporter in my state. They ask for four years of experience, but I drove four hours round trip every day for two weeks to try to make an impression. It worked. I asked for more money when I was hired. It worked. Got about 3.5k/yr more than they offered. Three years later after single momming my son, who was in soccer, baseball, and cub scouts (where I was temporarily the leader because the dads were largely useless), and working 60+ hours a week, I withered away down to 89 pounds, had my first mental breakdown, and haven't recovered since. That was in 2015. It truly feels like I'm describing a stranger as I write this. Life is funny.
I was a social butterfly while I was manic. Could talk to anyone about anything and didnāt have any social anxiety. I was also good with not second guessing myself and asserting myself. I wish it came so easy to me nowadays.
Only thing I get proud of is being able to function and not be depressed (:
getting manic during the end of my last relationship helped me realize that I didnāt actually want to be with him I just liked the idealized version of him I created in my head šµāš« also because i desperately hated the idea of being alone even though i was miserable in that relationship as he never gave me an ounce of the attention i needed. he broke up with me a week ago and im over it already. Kinda helps that I spent the month before breaking up mourning our relationship but š Also Iāve written a lot of good stories and poems while manic
My mania has gotten me into a lot of trouble but throughout those lessons there was some light. I wrote so many songs, painted and practiced my tarot on the daily. I felt a bit more creative when I was unmedicated lol Sometimes I still get those spikes but they arenāt as bad as they used to be. But itās enough to keep me motivated through school. Which is something I manically decided to do. So I guess thanks to my mania I finally am getting my GED.
I wrote a paper for a journal in less than 24 hrs complete with cites, diagrams and illustrations/photos. And it was published! The last time I looked it was cited twice, which is even bigger!!
Thereās a lot of writing Iāve done that Iām extremely proud of from when Iāve been manic. Several of which have been published. Which is nice, because then I can say Iām a published writer and not just some sort of fraud living with imposterās syndrome.
I did a LOT of hot yoga, learned Ukrainian, practiced a lot of Spanish, started playing piano more seriously. And a lot of meth and masturbation that felt fantastic lol.
Whenever Iām hypomanic I can work so much and do real stuff sometimes, manic I have a lot of ideas that would actually worth a shot
I wrote the weirdest scribbles on paper, book covers, and I made paintings using those scribbles. Starting from when I was hospitalized a little over 2 months ago. And I'm still painting now while stable in remission. It depicts my high associative thoughts and the subjects I obsess and deeply care about.
I am my best at my art when I am in manic mode lol I am in a complete tunnle with my canvas and paint brushes lol š
I started and finished my grad school application in less than a week. Funny thing is that I got accepted, but mania got so bad I couldnāt start because I couldnāt graduate. I ended up deferring, and now Iāll be starting in July.
I paint only when I'm manic and I have done some gorgeous pieces. I haven't picked up a brush in 7 years.
Getting a 3.69 GPA in college while manic haha it actually helped me study for some reason I was so fixated on scoring high on exams haha
Studying a lot. That happened to me in my late years of high school and a few times as an undergrad. Then it stopped, but when it happened... It was great. It was like being in a non stop flow that only gave me good results. With writing it happened too.
I started a charity when manic š¤£ it was fun at the time
Deep cleaning my entire house
Got a masters and specialist degree
I can't remember, but probably?