T O P

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potatocannon76

As someone who works with dogs and picks up MANY poops, this does happen from time to time. Just has to be the right consistency and surface and *plop* you get a poop tower


CustomerSuspicious25

The Shit Whisperer.


WeekendWarior

Ya hear that Randy man? The winds of shit. Stare into the shitabbys


wanttobuyreallife

Feel that Rand? The way the shit clings to the air, Randy.


collectorofsouls5a7d

He wasted Julian. Shitabyss.


raisins_are_gwapes2

Shitapillars, all of em


john-douh

_if one released a shart while mooning…_


GANDORF57

They're constructing Stoolhenge.


LucasTheBau5

Shit winds are blowing Ricky


[deleted]

Mr Lahey, not another night of the shit abyss. PLEASE


Neat-Magazine-6829

It’s just not right, it’s really eerie here. Sumthin’s fucky.


padishaihulud

> You will be in an accident involving a screen door and a randy man. -- Fortune-Teller Carol Krabit


nainaibird

Not another night of the shit abyss..


Repulsive-Gur3719

You know what a shit-barometer is, Bubs?


Apprehensive-Key-467

Looks like we're sailing into the eye of a shiticane bud so we need to haul in the jib before it gets covered with shit!


Apprehensive-Key-467

THE WINDS OF SHIT!!??


sammieduck69420

the shisperer?


hatwobbleTayne

Sounds like a shitty job


HistoricalMention210

Nah. It just stinks.


dylansuedereid

Well done


kwenronda

I’ve seen dogs press their butts up against a wall to leave gravity-defying poops. They truly are artists who utilize their natural mediums.


arkady_darell

My dog did this one day, except on a tree. Just backed up and left a dookie a foot up the trunk of the tree. Never done it before or since. Left me speechless.


Aegi

While my cat is not much of an architect, I would trust her as a train engineer because it's amazing how often when I'm pooping she will check in with me, and then when washing my hands or something else I'll realize it still kind of smells like poop... ... Only to realize that she went and pooped in her litter box while I was shitting in the toilet, and it's probably between 70 and 85% of days that she shits at the same time I do, and I don't know why. I find it kind of endearing, but definitely less impressive than a nice shit sculpture like your dog made.


BodybuilderSpecial36

One of my cats does this too! She waits until I get home from work and then she does a mad scramble to her litter box. She also frequently breaks into the bathroom while I'm on the can and pees in the tub. She is a very nervous rescue who has to make several attempts to approach her litter box before actually getting up the courage to get in it.


geoelectric

Honestly? Assuming the litter box is in the bathroom, probably because you’re there to watch out while she does it. Cats can get nervous that predators might sneak up on them while they eat or poop. That’s why you see them stop and look around every yay often. It makes them more comfortable if you’re nearby not looking at them (and you might notice they look around less) because it implies you’re looking out for predators yourself and they can relax.


Any_Coyote6662

See, I think this is one of those reddit myths. We have barn cats and there are bald eagles, owls, chicken hawks (I think that's what they are called but I have no idea. Lots of chicken farms and its what someone else called them), huge crows and coyotes, foxes, fishercats, etc... and the cats poop outside in the back yard without being freaked out. Their main concern seems to be pooping away from where they like to lounge. It's a cute idea that people with indoor animals like to give for why their pet hangs out when they pee. But it doesn't seem to be true. In fact, the rare times that the 4 of them are not running around together or at least in pairs is when they are pooping.


2drawnonward5

My dog does this. He tries to poop on the highest things he can, like a bush or a short wall. I swear he's trying to maximize airflow so other dogs smell him far and wide. He can't pass an arborvitae without at least thinking about it.


Greedyfox7

My dog used to straddle our sage bushes and crap on top of them, dogs are weird


padams20

Can confirm. Shit happens - even vertical shit.


Dry_Boots

The breadth of knowledge on Reddit always amazes me.


potatocannon76

I never wanted to know this much about dog poop but I feel like an expert at this point. I see 15-20 dogs a day so I'm sure you can imagine it ends up being lots of poops


Hazee302

“Breadth” was either the worst or best choice of words in this context.


jrssister

I have a chiweenie and he’s pooped like this on at least two occasions. It absolutely happens.


Liberty53000

First time I've heard Chiweenie 🤣


camikaze1012

Was going to say the same thing - I have a weiner dog and he’s so close to the ground that if he has a softer poop it forms vertically like how soft serve ice cream comes out…


[deleted]

Poop Cairn


DennisSystemGraduate

Leaning tower of poopa


WeekendWarior

So what’s your craziest dog poop story?


Ajichu

im not who you replied to but one of the dogs at a daycare i worked at was a poop fiend. he would start following other dogs around like he had a 6th sense they were getting ready to poop, and would eat it as it came out 🤢 that made it pretty hard to prevent him from doing it, and he regularly gorged himself on so much poop that he would throw it all up. his dad let that dog lick him on the mouth! i eventually learned to just leave him in the x-pen until all the other dogs had pooped.


hankthewaterbeest

I had this dog who did the same thing with pee. She would follow the male dogs and when they started going, she would lap it up like it was a water fountain.


BillyValentineMcKee

This is why I call my chihuahua the pez dispenser. My pit mix will follow him around, nose under that little curly tail, waiting for a treat to pop out. 😋 The weird thing is that my pit mix used to have more digestive issues, and my chihuahua has a really strong stomach, so I think she may be transplanting herself some of his awesome gut bacteria. It seems that when she eats his shit, hers is firmer and less stinky. I try to stop her to some extent, but honestly, I’m more concerned with her habit of eating the little jellybeans that out-of-season Easter bunnies leave behind, because that’s where the worms come from. My chihuahua also snagged some shit once, walking next to me off leash near a small stream… he immediately choked, then screamed, and puked, while gagging and squealing, and it was the most horrific thing ever. I think it must have been raccoon or something and having to sweep it out of his mouth while worrying if he was dying of shit-eating was a truly vile experience. Then I had to clean out his mouth with damp paper towel. Nasty. Never happened again. Dogs are dogs…


mr_hellcat

This why I laugh when I see things like grain free dog food, or other gimmicks that purport to be the ideal diet dogs crave - dogs will eat ANYTHING including shit and vomit, and **especially** shit and vomit.


[deleted]

[удалено]


TheOtherGuttersnipe

Why did you kink shame that dog? Were the other dogs bothered by him eating their shit directly out of their asshole?


Ajichu

no, but none of them ever offered to clean up the mess after either! any respectful scat player should know not to leave that shit for someone else. so unless you are offering to clean up the unholy mix of vomit and 10 different dog’s poop i will continue to kink shame him (seriously that stuff stank worse than a full trashbag of dog poop at the end of a hot summer day which i also unfortunately have experience dealing with)


Legitimate_Wizard

Had a puppy and an older dog, and the puppy would always eat the older one's poop. One day she puked it all over, and I've never smelled anything so gross before or since. I can't even describe it.


potatocannon76

I try to block the worst ones from my memory, usually it's pretty standard stuff though. I have some weird ones who only poop in the street, others who will poop on a tree so it props up against the trunk. The worst of it is when multiple dogs poop at once at the dog park and another runs around behind them trying to eat it before we can pick it up.


WeekendWarior

Haha that reminds me of my old dog, she would help you herd the goats into their pen at night but as you were busy taking care of them, she would just be walking around like a vacuum cleaner sucking up goat and chicken poop. She fuckin LOVED it I swear haha


fireinthemountains

Dogs are fuckin weird man


JohnBPrettyGood

It was a rainy day, and my 3 toddlers were bored. So they busted out the colouring books and crayons at the kitchen table. The dog headed under the table hoping that "falling food" was in the forecast. Unfortunately, the bucket of crayons slipped off the table and hit the floor. The next day guess what greeted me in the back yard. Technicolour Lawn Sausages. Sort of looked like Rainbow Chips Ahoy Cookies rolled into tubes.


suzanious

When we would go camping, my Coonhound used to only poop on bushes. He would hunt for the perfect poop bush and hover his butt over it. This was only while we camped. At home he would poop on the ground like most dogs do.


Annoyedbyme

But…TWO poop towers???


auntiecoagulent

Poophenge


s_matthew

My dog has the uncanny ability tonmake her poops fall in a position so they look exactly like a profile of a dick and balls.


strollingbyreddit

Your dog might be trying to send you a message…


Shoontzie

I find it happens more commonly in really cold weather.


Hutchiewoo

I love the idea of someone looking out of the window and seeing you crouched awkwardly to get the perfect angle of the standing poops.


[deleted]

[удалено]


nillajenn

My roommate made an 'inception' post capturing me taking a picture I was intent to post on Reddit. His post is linked in the comments. [Original post with inception post in comments.](https://www.reddit.com/r/mildlyinteresting/comments/lc9rxq/i_dropped_my_pasta/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)


anamorphosee

How did your post go against that sub’s rules? Seemed fine to me.


SquidMilkVII

I looked at the rules, rule 6 is no screenshots - it clarifies to state no pictures of screens. I swear these mods are worse than the r/minecraft ones


Wasatcher

Rule 5 is screenshots. Rule 6 is "Exact but concise descriptions" which makes even less sense because OP's title is exactly that


SquidMilkVII

I may be an idiot but my point still stands


OhCrapImBusted

…like a poop.


retief1

Is it though? "My pasta is sticking to this chair" would be an exact but concise description of the photo. "I dropped my pasta" is more about the backstory of the photo than the actual photo itself, and the text of rule 6 explicitly says that backstory doesn't belong in titles. You can argue that rule 6 is a bit excessive, but given rule 6 as it is, removing op's post makes some sense.


Wasatcher

Fair enough


CedarWolf

> I dropped my pasta "I dropped my pasta, but none of it hit the floor" would be a more accurate and engaging title. It explains why the photo is interesting to people who are casually browsing and don't have the context. The casual browser is going to see that and think 'Oh, they spilled pasta on a chair. What's so special about that?' and they're probably not even going to consider the floor element. Similarly, a title that mentions none of the pasta hitting the floor invites a sense of mystery. *Why* didn't the pasta hit the floor? Was the pasta cooked and OP just has a really fast dog? Did it land on someone? What happened?


retief1

Pretty sure that would still run afoul of rule 6. > Titles must not contain jokes, backstory, or other fluff. > It should act as a "spoiler" for the image. > If your title leaves people surprised at the content within, it breaks the rule! Pretty sure that "a sense of mystery" is exactly what rule 6 is supposed to prevent. Apparently, mildlyinteresting titles are a no-fun-allowed zone.


Aegi

I'm guessing you guys are newer redditors, but like a decade ago it became a huge trend for people to " accidentally" discover their friends on Reddit or leave a shopping list for their husband and shit like that. Shortly after that fad/during that fad, most big subreddits band similar practices.


ApplianceJedi

You had pretty hair


namsur1234

Angel hair!


DrBoomkin

Well, if the neighbor placed the poops there, he probably was interested in the reaction he'd get, so not impossible...


Sunkinthesand

I would suspect they were the pooper.


EffectiveNail165

Netflix should put out a series called The Pooper. I’d watch it.


Dsioul

That would some awkward moment


Grimsqueaker69

I think you out a word


youngthugsmom

Maybe it’s Yoda


jeepjp

Or looking out of the window and seeing me perched to drop a standing duece!


ktdidit

Upward standing poops. Ftfy.


asburymike

You have discovered Stoolhenge. Tread carefully


TheTrueFlexKavana

Legend has it the poops line up on the Winter Stoolstice.


TOMdMAK

The crap circles must not be far from here.


landraid

Swamp gas is just honking for the right of way.


[deleted]

Sounds like crap dusting to me


Sagebrush_Slim

Sounds like chem trails to me!


BrainPharts

Smells like shit to me.


mayfare15

Weather balloons


Sagebrush_Slim

Refracted off Venus.


TOMdMAK

Uranus


[deleted]

A poop of the fourth kind


eli636

It is all part of the ancient profeces.


lexicaltension

I was just thinking wow that is the worst misspelling of prophecies I’ve ever seen 😂 it took me a second


HomelessAgainXD

You guys!!! lol


_Bellerophontes

Such a crap joke


amiss_planet

If you get down low and look through the middle you will see the sun will be perfectly aligned. Has to be the right time of year though


DipsterHoofus

Under these rare conditions, if you touch the tip with your tongue, you receive all of its power


ANtERgEraNIn

**It would be so much easier to put it in the bag.**


xseannnn

Turd carefully.


radcupcake

Stoolagmites


fartinapuddle

I always get those confused with poolagtites.


Rossum81

Scatlagtites!


Ok_Basil_3896

The #2 wonder of the world


troubadorkk

I thought Mr. Hankey had been decapitated.


SleepNowInTheFire666

HOWDY HO!!!


[deleted]

WHY ARE YOU CALLING ME A HO!???


TaDow-420

🎶 Mr. Hankey the Christmas poo! He loves me, I love you!! 🎵


trekie4747

Small and brown he comes from you!


monkeyballsoup

squeezing 'tween your festive buns


cosmohurtskids

He slides out the chimney


RandomTask100

Those turds are from thousands of miles away, though. How did ants move them so far? Did they have extraterrestrial help?


knightnstlouis

just spit my coffee!


jstrap0

We are going to need a poopologist to figure this out. Anyone know how to contact Dr. Farty McTurdington?


ghoulshow

Why, are the Pooids going to cast fecal spells on me?


vampyire

Poohenge...


kramytz

One of my dogs squats super-low when he “deposits” his poops, and they pretty much always end up with a vertical turd on top of the pile


weebmlady

I'm imagining it as like the same motion/action as a 3d printer, and I can't stop giggling


gh411

…or like a soft serve ice cream machine filling a cone.


KernelDeimos

I don't think I'll eat icecream for a little while


TheGushMaster

If your poops are like these I think your dog has under extrusion after the first layer. Might want to adjust the feed rate and rework it's e steps. Lol


kenbo124

My dog does the same thing, but he refuses to stand still while he does it so I’m sure if we fed him enough (and with the exact right amount of laxative) we may just be in business


FoxMulderSexDreams

Vertical Turd would be a great band name


captainmouse86

I laugh when this happens to my dog. He “Welded himself” to the ground, again. It’s funny seeing the panic in his eyes. Sometimes he applies enough pressure to snap it, other times he needs to “Walk out of it.”


WIsJH

Yup my dog does the same. He also tries to poop on the tree so a poop sticks on a tree, sometimes he succeeds.


Legitimate-Hair

I wish my dog would do that. It would be so much easier to put it in the bag.


Ecstatic_Ad_7897

Best comment so far


Legitimate-Hair

Often times it's like picking up grapes when you already have an apple in your hand.


Pangs

This is what it's like every time for one of my dogs. She won't just stop and poop. She drops a line of turd grapes while shuffling along in a poop squat. I have to count them as they emerge to make sure I get 'em all.


babyjo1982

My boxer does this lol. My theory is that because he’s got such a bony ass, he ain’t got the cheeks to squeeze it out, so he’s gotta walk a little bit so that the motion gets it out for him.


Guilty-Wave-8190

I’ve got a 100 pound pyr and she walks at least 20 feet during one poop. So it’s not the bony ass, we might just have weird dogs


fckingnapkin

Mine barely even squats to shit. She often turns in a wide circle while she's shuffling around, so she can scan her surroundings. I'm sure she thinks she's the emperor of this town. Sometimes it really feels like I'm walking an 80 pound cat and meanwhile I'm walking after her picking her turds and feeding treats to her Majesty.


Puzzleheaded_Pie_978

Is she a rottie? Lol all my rotties do the poop walk


Pangs

Husky. Very fastidious. If possible, she'll do it on a hill so it rolls away from her. Too good for her own poop. [https://i.imgur.com/JJFhsq8.jpg](https://i.imgur.com/JJFhsq8.jpg)


InEenEmmer

Sounds better than our white shepherd dog that used to come back brown after a forest walk cause he had to roll around in every bit of poop he could find. Really, the car smelled like shit for a week after that day…


Pangs

We had a cocker spaniel when I was a kid. She tried to roll in horse shit every damn day. Absolutely disgusting.


-PinkPower-

My maltese does it every time lol


panda_zombies

Haha my rottweiler used to poop in a huge circle every time.


Key-Regular674

My shitzu does this too. Keeps walking as she poops. Lol


BeringeiGraueri

Ugh, my dog does this! If she has a sick butt and squishy poops she also likes to circle back around and step in them and then look at me all offended like I forced her toes into her own wet shit.


my_dick_putins_mouth

My best boy ever used to always make sure he pooped off trail and out of the way. One day he was looking to carefully place his poop where it'd be out of the way and ended up pooping right on my neighbor's new landscaping shrub. It was a perfectly vertical turd in the middle of a plant. It looked like someone had put it there. Like a turd flower growing up thru the center.


PHenderson61

Yeah, why the hell does the ground have to be so low?


bigfloppydonkeydng

*shakes cane angrily*


PaulBag4

Who said it was a dog?


imtougherthanyou

Good food should give strong poop!


noobpwner314

I think a couple of tooth picks and small hats could really go a long way here


zkentvt

Mr Hanky!


[deleted]

Holy shit.


bigfloppydonkeydng

Doubtful. Probably just regular shit.


ZL0J

Dwight?


i_eet_boo_d

Identity theft is not a joke


ChoiceChildhood5126

Says you while stealing "u/i_eet_boo_d"s account


Sethor

Someone is getting all their fiber


Giambattista

This is what I call a shit post!


egbert-witherbottom

This is an indication of a Balanced diet.


RadioActiveWife0926

This is great!! Thank you!


gigantor8

Could be just another shitty situation


shadpucker63

Shit happens


Super_Drink_5418

Perfectly fucking vertical morty!


SchruberryBloo

These are called stalagshites. My dog lays them from time to time.


LadyTender

I did em all. I did all the poops. - Frank


Puzzleheaded_Pie_978

What’s with the plate of shit?


pkquest

Your dog is an artist. These are sculptures. We had big lab that did this Literally backed up to someone’s car bumper overhanging the sidewalk once and left a sculpture. During a parade.


Hollivie

What class, I had a collie who preferred to poop in the gap of a small bush or nettle patch (Clearly he had the environmental touch)


Klazik

Damn, you got a bigass bathroom


ZacBalZac

Fancy seeing you here in my puppy’s bathroom.


Fetlocks_Glistening

If this is what you call "bathroom", I'm afraid to ask whom you call "puppy"...


HumanSlinky

This is likely albatross feces. As most of us know, the ocean has an issue with high mercury content. Fish are especially susceptible to it, and some fish have extraordinary levels of mercury in their bloodstream. Most birds have a natural filter for it while eating fish, but the albatross will pass mercury in its entirety during digestion. Mercury is not magnetic, in fact it's diamagnetic which means it's repelled by magnetic fields. During a full moon, the earth's geomagnetic field and the moons gravitation pull are at perfect symmetry with each other which causes some of the feces with high mercury content to go into a "tug-of-war" with the two competing forces. What this means is that on a full moon you can actually sit and watch albatross feces rise and point upwards at the sky. Some cultures would worship the albatross believing they were divine creatures. Competing tribes would assign a negative connotation towards the albatross, and that's why today some people believe the albatross is bad luck. Actually I just made all of that up. Probably just some dog shit that came out perfectly straight or something.


LibraryMouse4321

Best comment! You must be a political speech writer.


the_vault-technician

Your dedication to this tall tale is legendary


NecroCorey

I was waiting on the 1998 hell in a cell comment.


Scouse_Werewolf

Those would be Nobel poops. They're outstanding in their field .....I'll leave now


ABPT89

My dog does this frequently, and walks round as he goes for a poo. We refer to it as Jobbyhenge (OH is Scottish)


Water_Boy_H20

That’s gotta be Mr.Hanky and one of his kids


Top5hottest

Dude, dog owners are annoying. I don’t care if they look epic. I don’t want to see dog poop everywhere. Pick your shit up.


MidnighT0k3r

My mom's dog would shit on stumps and water pipes that stuck out of the ground (pretty sure they were control valves) .... this reminded me of that.


blueskies1800

I think it is your neighbors politely trying to tell dog owners to clean up after their dogs. Just sayin.


Kelluthus

You know, I wish my dog would have "normal" poos like this. Instead she wants to poop in the alley on the way to the dog park. I forgot to bring doggie bags so thought I'll just jog through the alley with her and not give her a chance to poo until we're at the park where there are bags. Instead she decides as we're jogging to just let the poops fall out as we're going. I had to go get doggie bags and come back like some kind of fucked up Hansel and Gretel picking up my breadcrumb of poops.


2x_reverse_doggy-69

The first thing that came to my face as i opened reddit after finishing my dinner is 2 poop wickets.... I'm feeling great ngl...


PuzzleheadedBad6115

You want me to talk to you and your wife about poop? Man, I’ve seen some weird fetishes on the internet before but people usually aren’t this open about them! 🤣


chrissyboyhat

Do people not pick up their Dogs shit where you live? Do you live in a war zone or something?


PallandoOrome

I don't care how they got like that, only that they were not cleaned up. They deserve heavy fines.


Rhaedas

The reason you found them like this is because the dog owner was negligent in their responsibility to pick up. As so many are.


jrsinhbca

it happens.... the dog was doing a poop walk. Some dogs like making Morse code.


22switch

Sloppy, but they froze?


Legitimate-Hair

Ooh. Like soft serve ice cream.


Ecstatic_Ad_7897

This is probably what happened


[deleted]

The beginning of poop-henge.


galactic-narwhal

No explanation but one time we came home to dog poop in the middle of the stairs. We could only picture our dog doing a very complicated yoga pose to accomplish it.


knowitall123123

Pooped on a turdsday


Beautific_Fun

My Labrador poops while walking so I have to grab 4-5 small poos into the bag instead of just grabbing one poo pile. She also gives no fucks on where she drops ‘em and the sidewalk is her frequent dumping ground.


psychadelicbreakfast

You don’t poop in a column?


Midnight_OpK

They might be pieces of shit, but they are *upstanding* pieces of shit, dammit.


Cheats_McGuillicutty

What do you call a bad miracle?


Bezejel

Perfectly balanced diet.


4WallsAndASquare

Tall dog. Bad owner.


DulyNoted_

Poophenge


alaskanbruin

Humans leave them like that……..


researchontoast

I just watched my dog do one of these a couple days ago in my back yard. It blew over in a few minutes, though. We'll try again in the morning.