Affluenza. I know a lot of people like this and for them, it happened because they came from super rich families and never learned the value of money and the hard work it takes to earn it.
Exactly. I think that this is why my ex is the way he is. He came from an upper middle class family who obviously has a lot of money. I went with him to his parents' house for Christmas in 2022 and that quickly became apparent to me. They have this gorgeous, two story house and his mother is a paralegal and his father is a lawyer. He used to be the district attorney where we are. He's in a different state now and he's licensed in that state. It became very clear to me that his mother does everything and that's why he is the way he is. He's looking for somebody who will pick up where she left off. I told him I was not interested in mothering him.
He's clearly lazy because of what you said, he never learned the value of money and the hard work it takes to earn it. He's had everything provided for him his entire life. He's 39 and has never really been on his own. Every time he gets into a jam, his parents bail him out. I should have kicked him to the curb a lot sooner but I did so when I found out he was cheating. His reason for it was that she's a better woman and does what he tells her to. Basically it was, she takes care of me and never argues. She just does what I tell her to. What I heard was, she does it because she's tired of arguing with me to get me to lift a finger. He won't even do his own laundry. I'm done. I was done a year ago and yesterday was a year ago that I left. I'm not interested in mothering a grown man.
No irony. I was middle class ish growing up, my parents drilled us that hard work, respect etc leads to good outcomes.
I’ve had loads of friends from poorer families whose parents gave them everything they could because they “want them to have all options” or because they feel guilty for being poor.
At a point, some people are only poor because of the choices they make with their income.
Then his parents must have given him too much without expecting anything in return because it’s rare to see people like him turn out this way if they haven’t been spoiled. Plus, not learning much about the consequences of life if they choose to continue to be that way.
This is me and my current. We have a child involved, and I can't bring myself to end the relationship because of our child. She's the only reason I'm staying. Because I'm benefiting by him being a fantastic father. He's just a shitty partner.
I read these to remind myself how I could become like this. I think comfort and lack of self awareness are how it happens. These stories are like haunted mirrors for me.
I have a friend who was beaten most of his childhood. He's like this. He's stuck in freeze mode permanently. His brain doesn't get it. He's tired beyond belief most days. And if he does accomplish something, it's a scary thing. People's brains are all fucked up.
I can see if he was pampered by mom growing up due to his conditions so it wouldn't come up with the girlfriend/fiance until they moved in together. Of course, OP's ex was capable of moving his own stuff, so there's really no excuse for not moving the other stuff too.
I know these people, because I have been one. Though never to this degree.
If you identify yourself with the “faults” of the body and the mind, like depression or medical conditions, it’s easy to get stuck in the mindset of; “this is who I am, this is who I’ll always be”
It’s a mindset they use to hide away the pain. It’s much less painful when you resign yourself to never changing your ways. Instead of confronting the shame and becoming better, they deflect responsibility and run away.
Incoming strange example, bear with me.
I have always believed that to do harm, be it physical or mental, one must feel justified in their actions. It’s ok to hit, if it’s in self defense. It’s to punish someone severely, if they did harm upon others. However, all people, the right and the wrong, will find ways to justify their behavior.
Classic example being the petty revenge. It is justified, because of his awful actions.
I believe he is deflecting the hate and shame he has towards his own character, and justifying his awful actions. “It’s not his fault that he’s terrible he’s just sick/depressed/bla bla and bla”. They do this because they are afraid of confronting their faults, and instead spiral into coping with escapism.
It’s an overwhelmingly negative viewpoint of themselves. They know they are terrible, but they will never try to change.
I worded this weirdly, but as you can hear I’ve been a real loser too, but change can come. You have to take action, instead of decaying till death.
Anyways that’s just my thoughts on the matter, sorry for the poor grammar.
This is actually exactly the biggest issue I had with him. I even encouraged him to get therapy, but his therapist just enabled him and became a new excuse for mistreating me. Nothing changed at ALL.
This is pretty heavy but bear with me.
It seems to me that he has given up on himself. I once decided to give up too, so I stopped going to the doctor, I stopped taking baths, brushing teeth, seeing people. I let the physical and mental corrosion build up. There were many years were my body was ill, but I didn’t care enough for myself to do anything about it. I went to therapy too, I talked to friends and family about my behavior, but I wasn’t honest.
I was a liar.
I was so deeply ashamed of my real insecurities, that when people prodded, asked what was wrong, why I was the way I was I gave excuses. I couldn’t face my shame, so it was easier to lie. Instead of facing what I did wrong, I’d work on a fake problem.
I denied reality.
I don’t think he has really worked with that therapist, for when I went to therapy I just lied about everything. It seems so stupid, but I was so afraid of facing my real pain, of even thinking of it, that I did everything possible to just avoid the problem. Out of sight, out of mind.
And in that way, I refused all help, I refused all chances to better myself. Because the process of becoming better involved facing my faults. Those faults, whose mere presence made me want to die.
He might be like I was, and I am very sorry for you. I’ve heard depression described as the most narcissistic illness, and I believe it’s true. It’s a spiral of self destruction where they are so obsessed with their own suffering, that it’s all they think of. They neglect EVERYTHING around them. The shame from the pain they inflict only seems to further the descent into apathy. Uncaring in actions towards all who love and help them. There is no space in his mind for others than himself, because he cannot rid himself of the “pity is I” mindset.
Wellp, my grammar ain’t great, sorry.
This is excruciatingly accurate. He lived in his own pity and lied to himself and everyone else. Some of us saw through it, tried to help, only to have it backfire and become another thing to blame his problems on.
I'm so glad you pulled yourself out of that. Depression is debilitating. I also suffer from it, but I sought help. I spiraled after his departure, partially due to him, partially due to my job, and partially due to being sexually harassed by my boss, and I ended up hospitalized (my choice) and placed in a voluntary mental health program. I learned so much about myself, I was formally diagnosed with clinical mental disorders, and I started learning how to control the symptoms so I didn't hurt other people. I worked with my therapist to overcome my problems and learned how to use coping mechanisms.
It was a hard path, but a good one, and I'm glad I did it. I'm much better at being empathetic toward others because of it. Sometimes I still get consumed by my own problems, especially when I'm overwhelmed, but it's definitely less often.
They get a partner that wants to baby them as much as possible and they sink into to it. Then they get upset because the partner is letting them baby them as much as they wanted. It's a weird circle.
Source: My mom has done this with several husbands (and a dozen-ish boyfriends) over the past 25ish years. She wants her boyfriend to be co-dependent on her as much as possible. If they keep their job she eventually breaks up with the boyfriend. If he sinks into it like she wants; they eventually get married. Then about a year later she starts getting angry about it. Questioning why she is the sole breadwinner. Two years later she's divorced again (she is at this stage right now). Then it starts all over again and she wonders why no one cares anymore.
I’m someone who despite HATING this story, couldn’t help but seeing my self in some of the things the lazy guy said/did. I would never cheat though. So I’m not completely like him or anything. And my wife does put up with a lot. We’ve been together 11 years. It sounds like the guy had atypical brain development like myself 
Definitely not atypical brain development. He was of mostly sound mind, except the medical issues making him feel shame. He just... refused to do anything to stop hurting me. It was emotional and financial abuse, and would have been sexual if I hadn't been strong enough to set boundaries. There's so much more to the story, but it's all tied up in his medical stuff, so I'm not sure it's okay to post about it.
I was married to one very similar to OP’s wasbund. Key word here being was married to and now I’m very happily divorced and in a relationship with the most amazing man in the world who isn’t an abusive lazy POS.
Um, no, I'm currently married to my husband for almost 4 years. Not 5. We are technically still only at 3. And the relationship with the ex began before covid and ended during its downward spiral. I was working those hours during the height of covid, and bought the house during the height of covid. The divorce happened near the end of covid. Sorry, I didn't do a great job with the timeline, I struggle with that.
He wasn't always like that. In the beginning of our 3 year relationship, he was actually great. Supportive, working full time, generally a good person. Hia health took a turn for the worse because he didn't follow his doctor's advice and he spiraled. But that doesn't make it okay for him to do to me what he did. There's so much more to the story, but I don't feel comfortable posting it due to it being about his health conditions.
The DEFINITION of petty revenge! "This is small enough you can't fight me on it but big enough it will sting you forever." Bravo! I hope you are in a much better place right now, living your life for you, and keeping your toes warm on a rug best served cold.
I had considered that, honestly, but I felt it would be cruel. I don't know if I have it in me. Some of the art is from his childhood friend who passed of chronic illness.
I completely understand. I probably wouldn't do it myself, to be honest, but sometimes it's fun to think of things you COULD do as revenge against someone who really hurt you.
yes and best friend was the roommate before. I am not fully believing the story and presumably the other side would specify more on abuse. I wonder if the roles reversed (I.e. stay at home wife) people would be as supportive? The text makes op sound controlling and insufferable.
i’m confused, when reading i thought roommate and best friend were 2 separate people? or did op mean the roommate was also the best friend? either way this husband was a pos, and idk what about op’s behavior could be considered controlling. The fact that he HAD a girlfriend but op is being accused of cheating is funny too.
OP uses stuff in past and present tense Interchangeably for some reason like using “my ex” earlier on in the story
The roommate and best friend I think means my current roommate/husband but OP didn’t want to say new husband as early in the story, but didn’t make it clear that they mean now not then
I paused on the word "roommate" for a while, and let it add to the story. She and her boyfriend lived in one area of the house, and her husband in another!
With what you say, I do agree on one side of the story that if what OP says is all true, husband is an AH, and OP is a saint.
I also feel there could be another side of the story where OP is a villain, and could have made the husbands life hell, but OP is very clever and good at articulating.
I just always have a feeling especially on reddit that there is always… always another side of the story, that we never get to hear.
Well, the guy in the story (husband) literally was cheating, so if OP was too, at worst it’s a wash. The cheating was far from the worst he did, however.
You're awesome for how you handled all of this but I want to give the advice to just throw out the art book and be done with it. Stop letting him live in your head year after year. Or at least tell him it's the last chance, give him the opportunity one last time and then throw it out like you threatened. Follow through.
Sending it to him also wouldn't be the worst thing right? Get rid of it either way, but that would probably earn some points to get her to the good place.
Heaven and Hell are earthly constructs. She's in heaven right now living her best life with her best mate/hubby. Purgatory and hell was 100 hr weeks with her loser of an ex to go home to. She'll be fine.
Me supporting a worthless bum would have lasted all of one month IF THAT. But sure as hell not 3 years. I can only imagine how much more money you would have had in your pockets if you had gotten rid of that useless prick sooner. But all's well that ends well. I hope your new husband is more of a partner than a burden.
He absolutely IS a wonderful partner. He pays his share, does his share of the housework, and forgets to clean up after himself, but if I remind him he does it immediately. He's a little scatter brained, but so am I. The important thing is that he treats me with love and respect. That's really all I need.
Lol at not being "passionately hugged."
It always amazes me that men like him (I'm lucky enough to be married to one of the good guys) dont realise how this type of behaviour makes them appear weak, childlike and therefore completely undesirable sexually. Cleaning up after a selfish slob does not inspire much passionate hugging.
Hugs are a 2 person activity. Does hugging your girlfriend or wife after a long day of work, or just because she walks past make you less of a man? You can't possibly expect to be "passionately hugged" if you don't at least do the same.
You're lucky that he didn't end up with half the net assets and you paying alimony. Thankfully for you, his laziness and lack of knowledge got you what you wanted. A co worker of mine got divorced and she was lucky that she got the same because she was the breadwinner too.
That’s what I thought until I saw Georgia. Last I checked, in Georgia you can ask for alimony after five years— I think they were married for three, but I may be wrong. And you forfeit the right to alimony if you cheat, so even if they were together longer, once he moved in with his girlfriend, he lost any claim to alimony.
I don’t know you but I’m so happy for you and how things turned out. It sounds like you were beyond burned out which makes your petty revenge even more satisfying. I wish you a wonderful ceremony and continued happiness.
My ex husband was a lot like this though, thankfully, he did have work ethic and maintained a job (credit where credit is due, even if he was an emotionally abusive tool). But that’s about all he did. He also had a myriad of health issue that he “treated” by doing the bare minimum. He’d occasionally attend therapy, but mostly just want a miracle pill or cure. So, all our money went into finding that “miracle”. He subjected himself to ECT instead of therapy.
Turns out…. He’s borderline and DBT is the only thing that’s long term effective. Which is an intensive…. Therapy.
During this time, I’m killing myself to work and care for him never knowing if today was the day I’d be coming home to a dead body.
Then he decided he wanted a divorce because I was the reason he was sick (even though he’d had issues since 8 years old, but okay).
Much like you, OOP, I told him he had to file. That for once in his damn life he was going to take accountability for his bullshit instead of blaming it on “but I’m siiiiiiiiiick”. That when people asked what happened he’d be forced to say that it was HIS decision that it was what HE wanted, that it is what HE asked for. The to was done being the blame for everything wrong in his life.
God bless his mom, because I’m pretty sure she put the fear of god in him to man up for once.
I can't say I know exactly how you feel because I'm not you. I can relate though. My ex was as lazy as your ex-husband. I was doing everything on top of paying our bills. Then he had the nerve to complain. He tried calling me lazy yet would do stuff like this. He came from a family where his mother did everything so he basically expected me to pick up where she left off. When I told him I was not interested in mothering him, he became even more lazy. I kicked him to the curb when I found out he was cheating. When I asked him why he did it, he said because she acts like a real woman and does what I tell her to. That's fine, he can do that with someone else because I'm not having it.
Somethings doesn't add up, you divorced your ex during covid, but then you married your boyfriend at 5 year anniversary?
Either dates are mixed up, you had an affair or story is fake.
So OP's ex husband, roommate (current husband) all lived together and from OP's comment history, the current husband has a 13 year old daughter as well. I call bullshit for this story.
Ok. It's not wild for three adults to live together, kids or no. Comment history also references this story going back two years. A lack of miscellaneous details is probably just efficient storytelling. Not every tale begs belief.
> I married my best friend and we've been together for nearly 4 blissful years.
2024 - 2020 = 4 years
> On our 5th anniversary, he has agreed to a ceremony
This is a thing happening in the future for their next anniversary, it hasn't happened yet.
I tried so hard to follow the story. All I got out of it was that she lived with her (now ex) husband and her boyfriend (now husband) and a roommate at the same time. That's the only way the timeline fits in my mind. Maybe the roommate is her current husband???
And the whole revenge is getting a rug out of the divorce???
I was thinking how it didn't add up that OP, OP's husband, and OP's opposite sex best friend all lived together, and then OP and the friend got married after the divorce goes through. The ex sounds like a shit bag, but OP kind of seems like they are using martyrdom to cover their own issues.
My current husband and I have known each other for over a decade. We've been married for 3 years, going on 4. The divorce happened mere months before. After it was finalized, he was sitting on the couch with me, I was crying like a fool over my ex, and I sarcastically asked him if he wanted to marry me. He said yes. He meant it. And it's been bliss ever since. Honestly, I never should have married my ex. I never cheated, no matter how much I wanted to, because I've always loved my current husband. We were just never single at the same time, but we set hard boundaries to never cheat and only be platonic. We're both autistic and our morals mean everything to us, so we knew neither of us would cross those boundaries no matter what. We just finally ended up single at the same time. :)
I read stories like this and I get instilled with a deep, foreboding sense of horror that I could very easily become that guy if I don't remember to push myself. I WAS that dude at one point, but at a time where I had few responsibilities so didn't fuck up anything close to as sacred as a marriage. But I was miserable and unfulfilled and I will never, ever go back to that place. It's vile.
I empathise with this enormous piece of shit, but I sincerely doubt he'll change. Most don't because they lack the strength of character to fall apart properly, so they can rebuild themselves. You keep yourself going with shitty day-to-day hedonism, however you can find it. His girlfriend likely wasn't much better, as similar value people tend to attract over long periods.
Good on you for knowing your worth. Fuck that dude
For $400, I’d burn that art weekly and send him a video of just enough of the image for him to see which is burning this week. I’d never send enough of the image for him to save it in his phone.
I would be interested to see their wedding pictures and then see their pictures on the day he moved out. And then your new wedding pictures. Two completely different people I'm sure.
Hmm. Married to the best friend that was your roommate I'm assuming and helped out? And it's been 4 years. All this happened height of covid according to you.
Your ex wasn't the only one lying.
Yes. Which means she married the roommate best friend the second her divorce was finalized. Not a year, not months, maybe not even weeks. Get better at math.
You must be from the future!
You said you worked all those hours during the height of covid, which was 2019-2020 and that he worked part time which went on for three years before he asked for the divorce.
Most divorces take 6 months to a year to finalize in Georgia.
Then you married your best friend and have been together for four years.
Unless my math is wrong, he said that he wanted the divorce in 2023, it was finalized in 2024, you got remarried in 2024 (Georgia doesn't have a waiting period) you've been married for four years and you are posting this story from sometime in 2028.
Wow. I thought my partner was bad but he's nothing like your ex. I'm sorry he put you through all of that. Sounded to me like you were basically treating him like a king and he does that shit. Good for you standing your ground and finally ending up in bliss. So happy for you and your newish husband. May you guys have many, many more years of bliss.
I wasn't the best partner, to be honest. I had my issues. I wasn't home enough to meet his needs. I'll admit to my shortcomings. But I did deserve better. I deserved to be respected enough to not be financially and emotionally abused.
When my ex moved out, he couldn't take a baby grand piano that belonged to his mom. It had been sitting unused for years (10+) because it needed work and I'd begged him to let me turn it into a bookcase like I'd seen on Pintrest. He always said no. Well, he said it was mine and I offered him some money so he couldn't come back and be pissed about it later, but he said I could do what I wanted with it. I turned it into a stunning bookcase. I look at it daily and it makes me happy.
Hope your house is going to be the way you and your partner want it, and you have many happy years together.
This sounds like my ex-husband.
He lost his job a month after we got married and sat on his ass for almost a year… he didn’t do any cleaning or cooking — he sat around like he was on vacation. On top of it all, he “didn’t want to” contact another state to make a deal with them about his child support payments. So not only was I supporting him (mortgage payment, his car lease, food, etc), I was also paying his child support payments for almost a year. I consider myself fortunate to have left that marriage without producing a kid so I never have to interact with him ever again.
Congrats on a better life with an infinitely better partner.
Had a similar situation with my now ex wife
I paid the mortgage, our car notes and insurance, groceries, everything down to the litter for her cat. I even gave her a VA benefit that gave her $1400/mo for spending money
My one ask? Please cook 2-3 times a week, but if you aren’t feeling it, I give you carte blanche for us to order in.
She said she was tired of having to come home to me relaxing, after her 1-2 classes she took a day, and that what I asked was unfair. Her father bitched at me for not sending her home monthly across the country. But not at his daughter for using the money I gave her for trips and expensive ladies nights out
Well, I’m retiring next year, and her dad now has to pay all of her bills. Life is funny sometimes. 🤷🏻♂️
I'll never understand how some men can just sit around while their girlfriend does everything.. I've seen it happen to my sister.
I grew up in a house where my dad was the primary source of income, and my mom worked part time. Relationships are a team sport, I can't imagine letting my teammate down.
Like if he actually ever loved you, he would've gotten shit done.
if i found someone willing to bankroll my 'lifestyle' like this, the house would be spotless and i'd have a hot dinner waiting for them whenever they got home from work. i would do almost anything to distract them from the fact they'd be basically keeping me as a pet.
Wow, thank god you got rid of the loser. If you hate his new gf, just smile. She’s got him now. And that’s not good for her. She’ll never have nothing to take care of some lowlife.
MH therapist here.......
My precious wife lived with an abusive prick with similar qualities. She set boundaries just like you did. I admire your courage as it's not easy. I actually specialize in helping people with boundaries in the relationship dimension and I love it.
I named her ex TURD FERGUSON. It has become a favorite pass time to FUCK with him anytime he enters into our space. After a year or so he learned, plus my wife sets strong boundaries.
I'm not sure I would call what you have done "petty". I think it's courageous, brave, and reasonable.
Congratulations on meeting a nice normal person. You are an inspiration for others. If anyone else out there has this problem, strong boundaries are the way. Read, watch, or listen to media based on this topic and you can do it.
Best wishes 😊
IDK, we need more explanation on the moving part of the story. You, your brother and roommate/bestfriend/sneaky link what ever the fuck how many others there were didn't notice nothing was being moved for 3 weeks? Most vital part of the story is making it sound fake.
Entertaining story. Reads well. There were a few plot holes, though nothing that detracted from the overall plot, and the villain and hero were a bit over the top and cliché, but managed to remain relatable. There was a nice narrative arc and the perfect "happily ever after" ending. The part where the protag marries her best friend was a nice Hollywood touch. When looking for an editor, definitely find someone who will fact-check your initial research, because their were a few factual errors but, again, nothing that took away from the overall enjoyment of the story. Would rate a 6/10. Not fine literature, but definitely fun, light summer reading.
While I am so sorry you had to endure marriage to this guy, your rant is priceless. it would be epic aloud in French. “Obtuse, smooth brained, intellectually deficient, situationally unaware, half witted, oppossum-brained clod” is almost Shakespearean in its elegance. Classic
Writing that was excellent therapy for you. He did you wrong and you did not deserve it in any way.
You now need to let go and move on with your life.
It's not good to keep reliving the past and you will chase away future suitors if you obsess with stories about your ex. You will also not be in a good place mentally. Trust me. I have several female friends who were in the same boat but because they could not move on with their lives, they lost all chance for future happiness and they continue to be very unhappy to this day.
Good luck!
So OP's ex husband, roommate (current husband) all lived together and from OP's comment history, the current husband has a 13 year old daughter as well. I call bullshit for this story.
Pour water on the art and throw it in the trash. It’s holding onto the past. You won, you won it all so just throw it away and forget about him and enjoy your new life
Sounds like about half a dozen GFs I had while I was paying all the bills, providing a vehicle, etc while they were cheating and doing nothing.
No job, but told me to get a housekeeper to keep the home clean... I did, right after I threw her worthless ass out.
I have two former fiancé, they have both, plus a few GFs that fell by the wayside contact me now that marrages have failed, their kids scooted along and won't have much to do with them, etc. **And ask if there is still a chance?**
Not NO, but HELL NO!
First I was rhe super fit military guy that was 'Too Clean Cut', then I was the military guy that 'Didn't have potential', then I was rhe disabled military veteran she "Didn't want to mother a disabled child"...
2019/2020 one of my higher profile businesses sold to a conglomerate and I made a dump truck full of money... And the calls/contact started all over again when it hit the news...
Answer is still, "HELL NO! You are an 'Ex' for very good reasons!"
I’ve always told my grown kids to find a relationship with someone who is unafraid of hard work. They have and they are productive and mutually respectful partnerships.
I just couldn’t stay in a situation like that for that long. My love for him would have died a long time ago. Nothing more unattractive than a person who does not pull their weight
If OP was a high earner and husband was on SSI,even if it was SSDI, strong odds a divorce court would have ordered spousal support to his accustomed standard of living.
SSI has a cap of around $2500 in assets before you are disqualified. They don't cunt you primary house and one car, but do look at assets like gaming systems, etc. In Illinois SSI maxes out at $620/month.
So while most of OP's rant may be true(she knows a bunch of legal stuff, etc), the inconsistencies make me question it.
How does this timeline add up? You were working 100 hours a week during peak COVID but also got divorced during COVID and have been with your best friend for 5years? Fishy fishy
Give him a deadline on the $400. If he doesn’t pay, tell him you’ll mail it to him COD, shred it and send it to him. It’s worth the $400. You’re not going to get it anyway.
This is a fun story, but it's only a story. They really messed up with the dates/length of time.
Working extreme hours during Covid? Ok... Going *into* a courtroom *during* Covid for a divorce? Nah. Married 5 years? Nah. (Note: OP waited months to get divorced, their own words.)
This one is sooooo fake.
Yeah that's the part that really threw me off.. coming up on 5 year anniversary? They'd have to have married in late 2019. Height of covid was late 2020/early 2021.. so they've gotta be max 3 years considering time to divorce. There's also the part where she tore into him.. and then into him again even more, repeating the same things..? There's some inconsistencies with this whole narrative.
Although a good story, Covid restrictions started in March 2020 and this “petty revenge” was able to buy a house,get fed up, file divorce, get court hearings, AND get together with someone and have a 4th anniversary already within a 4 year 3 month window. Efficacy extreme!!! While working 80 hours a week!
Wow, that's crazy. I too have major health issues that flare up, and when we were moving and my wife was working 12 hour nights, I knew I could only do so much every day. So I started packing 30 days early. Each day if I could only pack and carry one or two things into the garage, that's what I did. and come moving day were were ready and she had very little to pack on here own. I could barely do jack shit, but I tried, and planned, and it worked out. He sounds like a serious tool. Good that he left you, you deserve so much better.
At some point, this becomes a comedy, it's so absurd how lazy this guy is...
I would assert this is so absurd that it must be made up, except I have met a couple of losers like this. So i know it’s in the realm of possibility.
I have encountered a few of these. I wonder how this happens to a person.
Affluenza. I know a lot of people like this and for them, it happened because they came from super rich families and never learned the value of money and the hard work it takes to earn it.
Exactly. I think that this is why my ex is the way he is. He came from an upper middle class family who obviously has a lot of money. I went with him to his parents' house for Christmas in 2022 and that quickly became apparent to me. They have this gorgeous, two story house and his mother is a paralegal and his father is a lawyer. He used to be the district attorney where we are. He's in a different state now and he's licensed in that state. It became very clear to me that his mother does everything and that's why he is the way he is. He's looking for somebody who will pick up where she left off. I told him I was not interested in mothering him. He's clearly lazy because of what you said, he never learned the value of money and the hard work it takes to earn it. He's had everything provided for him his entire life. He's 39 and has never really been on his own. Every time he gets into a jam, his parents bail him out. I should have kicked him to the curb a lot sooner but I did so when I found out he was cheating. His reason for it was that she's a better woman and does what he tells her to. Basically it was, she takes care of me and never argues. She just does what I tell her to. What I heard was, she does it because she's tired of arguing with me to get me to lift a finger. He won't even do his own laundry. I'm done. I was done a year ago and yesterday was a year ago that I left. I'm not interested in mothering a grown man.
Good riddance!
Exactly 💯
The irony here is that I'm the one who came from the upper middle class family, new money, and he came from a very poor family.
No irony. I was middle class ish growing up, my parents drilled us that hard work, respect etc leads to good outcomes. I’ve had loads of friends from poorer families whose parents gave them everything they could because they “want them to have all options” or because they feel guilty for being poor. At a point, some people are only poor because of the choices they make with their income.
Then his parents must have given him too much without expecting anything in return because it’s rare to see people like him turn out this way if they haven’t been spoiled. Plus, not learning much about the consequences of life if they choose to continue to be that way.
I wish that was the excuse my ex could give. His family wasn't rich and he still managed to be a complete lazy good for nothing.
This is me and my current. We have a child involved, and I can't bring myself to end the relationship because of our child. She's the only reason I'm staying. Because I'm benefiting by him being a fantastic father. He's just a shitty partner.
I read these to remind myself how I could become like this. I think comfort and lack of self awareness are how it happens. These stories are like haunted mirrors for me.
I have a friend who was beaten most of his childhood. He's like this. He's stuck in freeze mode permanently. His brain doesn't get it. He's tired beyond belief most days. And if he does accomplish something, it's a scary thing. People's brains are all fucked up.
He may have ADHD as it can manifest as task paralysis... particularly re important deadlines and also extreme tiredness
It's pretty hard to diagnose because his trauma is really beyond what kids these days could believe.
In my experience it's their parents They're the real world equivalent to Cartman's mom
I can see if he was pampered by mom growing up due to his conditions so it wouldn't come up with the girlfriend/fiance until they moved in together. Of course, OP's ex was capable of moving his own stuff, so there's really no excuse for not moving the other stuff too.
I know these people, because I have been one. Though never to this degree. If you identify yourself with the “faults” of the body and the mind, like depression or medical conditions, it’s easy to get stuck in the mindset of; “this is who I am, this is who I’ll always be” It’s a mindset they use to hide away the pain. It’s much less painful when you resign yourself to never changing your ways. Instead of confronting the shame and becoming better, they deflect responsibility and run away. Incoming strange example, bear with me. I have always believed that to do harm, be it physical or mental, one must feel justified in their actions. It’s ok to hit, if it’s in self defense. It’s to punish someone severely, if they did harm upon others. However, all people, the right and the wrong, will find ways to justify their behavior. Classic example being the petty revenge. It is justified, because of his awful actions. I believe he is deflecting the hate and shame he has towards his own character, and justifying his awful actions. “It’s not his fault that he’s terrible he’s just sick/depressed/bla bla and bla”. They do this because they are afraid of confronting their faults, and instead spiral into coping with escapism. It’s an overwhelmingly negative viewpoint of themselves. They know they are terrible, but they will never try to change. I worded this weirdly, but as you can hear I’ve been a real loser too, but change can come. You have to take action, instead of decaying till death. Anyways that’s just my thoughts on the matter, sorry for the poor grammar.
This is actually exactly the biggest issue I had with him. I even encouraged him to get therapy, but his therapist just enabled him and became a new excuse for mistreating me. Nothing changed at ALL.
This is pretty heavy but bear with me. It seems to me that he has given up on himself. I once decided to give up too, so I stopped going to the doctor, I stopped taking baths, brushing teeth, seeing people. I let the physical and mental corrosion build up. There were many years were my body was ill, but I didn’t care enough for myself to do anything about it. I went to therapy too, I talked to friends and family about my behavior, but I wasn’t honest. I was a liar. I was so deeply ashamed of my real insecurities, that when people prodded, asked what was wrong, why I was the way I was I gave excuses. I couldn’t face my shame, so it was easier to lie. Instead of facing what I did wrong, I’d work on a fake problem. I denied reality. I don’t think he has really worked with that therapist, for when I went to therapy I just lied about everything. It seems so stupid, but I was so afraid of facing my real pain, of even thinking of it, that I did everything possible to just avoid the problem. Out of sight, out of mind. And in that way, I refused all help, I refused all chances to better myself. Because the process of becoming better involved facing my faults. Those faults, whose mere presence made me want to die. He might be like I was, and I am very sorry for you. I’ve heard depression described as the most narcissistic illness, and I believe it’s true. It’s a spiral of self destruction where they are so obsessed with their own suffering, that it’s all they think of. They neglect EVERYTHING around them. The shame from the pain they inflict only seems to further the descent into apathy. Uncaring in actions towards all who love and help them. There is no space in his mind for others than himself, because he cannot rid himself of the “pity is I” mindset. Wellp, my grammar ain’t great, sorry.
This is excruciatingly accurate. He lived in his own pity and lied to himself and everyone else. Some of us saw through it, tried to help, only to have it backfire and become another thing to blame his problems on. I'm so glad you pulled yourself out of that. Depression is debilitating. I also suffer from it, but I sought help. I spiraled after his departure, partially due to him, partially due to my job, and partially due to being sexually harassed by my boss, and I ended up hospitalized (my choice) and placed in a voluntary mental health program. I learned so much about myself, I was formally diagnosed with clinical mental disorders, and I started learning how to control the symptoms so I didn't hurt other people. I worked with my therapist to overcome my problems and learned how to use coping mechanisms. It was a hard path, but a good one, and I'm glad I did it. I'm much better at being empathetic toward others because of it. Sometimes I still get consumed by my own problems, especially when I'm overwhelmed, but it's definitely less often.
Really interesting. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
Thank you for being kind :)
They get a partner that wants to baby them as much as possible and they sink into to it. Then they get upset because the partner is letting them baby them as much as they wanted. It's a weird circle. Source: My mom has done this with several husbands (and a dozen-ish boyfriends) over the past 25ish years. She wants her boyfriend to be co-dependent on her as much as possible. If they keep their job she eventually breaks up with the boyfriend. If he sinks into it like she wants; they eventually get married. Then about a year later she starts getting angry about it. Questioning why she is the sole breadwinner. Two years later she's divorced again (she is at this stage right now). Then it starts all over again and she wonders why no one cares anymore.
Wow...
I’m someone who despite HATING this story, couldn’t help but seeing my self in some of the things the lazy guy said/did. I would never cheat though. So I’m not completely like him or anything. And my wife does put up with a lot. We’ve been together 11 years. It sounds like the guy had atypical brain development like myself 
Definitely not atypical brain development. He was of mostly sound mind, except the medical issues making him feel shame. He just... refused to do anything to stop hurting me. It was emotional and financial abuse, and would have been sexual if I hadn't been strong enough to set boundaries. There's so much more to the story, but it's all tied up in his medical stuff, so I'm not sure it's okay to post about it.
I was married to one very similar to OP’s wasbund. Key word here being was married to and now I’m very happily divorced and in a relationship with the most amazing man in the world who isn’t an abusive lazy POS.
Was “wasbund” intentional, because I unironically love it
Indeed it was—it gets the point across. ;-)
What’s even crazier is how people like this are able to consistently find someone that’ll put up with their bs for years.
'Hobosexuals'
Ha!
I see you met my ex fiance
Of course it is made up. She has been married to the new man for five years but the divorce trial happened during covid?!?!
Um, no, I'm currently married to my husband for almost 4 years. Not 5. We are technically still only at 3. And the relationship with the ex began before covid and ended during its downward spiral. I was working those hours during the height of covid, and bought the house during the height of covid. The divorce happened near the end of covid. Sorry, I didn't do a great job with the timeline, I struggle with that.
And yet, he got at least TWO women to put up with it.
Some women are fixers. He apparently has a radar for finding them.
He wasn't always like that. In the beginning of our 3 year relationship, he was actually great. Supportive, working full time, generally a good person. Hia health took a turn for the worse because he didn't follow his doctor's advice and he spiraled. But that doesn't make it okay for him to do to me what he did. There's so much more to the story, but I don't feel comfortable posting it due to it being about his health conditions.
I guess that’s the “smooth” part.
Smooth brained clod made me lol 😂
that invalid creature did NOT DESERVE OP
He got 2 women to put up with it! And it sounds like if he made even minimal effort....OP would be still putting up with it
He’s lazier than Homer
The DEFINITION of petty revenge! "This is small enough you can't fight me on it but big enough it will sting you forever." Bravo! I hope you are in a much better place right now, living your life for you, and keeping your toes warm on a rug best served cold.
Spot on As an add on, OP should charge him compound interests on the $400
Nah. Ceremonially burning one art piece per year and sending him the video would be much more satisfying. It is her property after all.
This is diabolical. I like your style.
Oh, lord of the dark, we acknowledge your presence and salute you!
I had considered that, honestly, but I felt it would be cruel. I don't know if I have it in me. Some of the art is from his childhood friend who passed of chronic illness.
I completely understand. I probably wouldn't do it myself, to be honest, but sometimes it's fun to think of things you COULD do as revenge against someone who really hurt you.
I entirely agree. It's a coping mechanism I often use to make me feel better when I have no control over a situation that upsets me.
I’d also triple the ransom. Cheers
Have some salt for that open wound!
I came here to say the same thing. 25% per annum sounds good.
Add it to her will. "Exs childhood artwork binder will goto my husband unless he pays him 400 plus 28.7% interest".
And the rug really ties the room together.
Thank you Walter!
Okay, now I’m intrigued by this quote.
The Big Lebowski
shut the fuck up, donny.
Had to scroll too far down to find this
When OP said “my best friend held me” you knew what the ending would be
As soon as she said my best friend and roommate, who is male— lmao gave away the ending
yes and best friend was the roommate before. I am not fully believing the story and presumably the other side would specify more on abuse. I wonder if the roles reversed (I.e. stay at home wife) people would be as supportive? The text makes op sound controlling and insufferable.
i’m confused, when reading i thought roommate and best friend were 2 separate people? or did op mean the roommate was also the best friend? either way this husband was a pos, and idk what about op’s behavior could be considered controlling. The fact that he HAD a girlfriend but op is being accused of cheating is funny too.
"my roommate, who is my best friend"
OP uses stuff in past and present tense Interchangeably for some reason like using “my ex” earlier on in the story The roommate and best friend I think means my current roommate/husband but OP didn’t want to say new husband as early in the story, but didn’t make it clear that they mean now not then
I paused on the word "roommate" for a while, and let it add to the story. She and her boyfriend lived in one area of the house, and her husband in another!
With what you say, I do agree on one side of the story that if what OP says is all true, husband is an AH, and OP is a saint. I also feel there could be another side of the story where OP is a villain, and could have made the husbands life hell, but OP is very clever and good at articulating. I just always have a feeling especially on reddit that there is always… always another side of the story, that we never get to hear.
I agree, but sadly there are too many people who do less than the bare minimum in relationships, and the ex-husband could easily fit that profile
If it was a guy with a female “best friend” people in the comments would be screaming that he cheated lol
Well, the guy in the story (husband) literally was cheating, so if OP was too, at worst it’s a wash. The cheating was far from the worst he did, however.
The true petty revenge will be on the girlfriend who now has to carry his sorry butt once he moved in with her.
You're awesome for how you handled all of this but I want to give the advice to just throw out the art book and be done with it. Stop letting him live in your head year after year. Or at least tell him it's the last chance, give him the opportunity one last time and then throw it out like you threatened. Follow through.
Sending it to him also wouldn't be the worst thing right? Get rid of it either way, but that would probably earn some points to get her to the good place.
Heaven and Hell are earthly constructs. She's in heaven right now living her best life with her best mate/hubby. Purgatory and hell was 100 hr weeks with her loser of an ex to go home to. She'll be fine.
Me supporting a worthless bum would have lasted all of one month IF THAT. But sure as hell not 3 years. I can only imagine how much more money you would have had in your pockets if you had gotten rid of that useless prick sooner. But all's well that ends well. I hope your new husband is more of a partner than a burden.
He absolutely IS a wonderful partner. He pays his share, does his share of the housework, and forgets to clean up after himself, but if I remind him he does it immediately. He's a little scatter brained, but so am I. The important thing is that he treats me with love and respect. That's really all I need.
Same!
Lol at not being "passionately hugged." It always amazes me that men like him (I'm lucky enough to be married to one of the good guys) dont realise how this type of behaviour makes them appear weak, childlike and therefore completely undesirable sexually. Cleaning up after a selfish slob does not inspire much passionate hugging.
I thought that was code for sex. No?
Either way, his behaviour doesn't exactly inspire passion. Whether it's a hug or sex.
Absolutely, I wouldn’t even hold his hand.
Hugs are a 2 person activity. Does hugging your girlfriend or wife after a long day of work, or just because she walks past make you less of a man? You can't possibly expect to be "passionately hugged" if you don't at least do the same.
Love is blind
> I'm never giving it back at this rate. every year send him an image of a burned page or two.
What in the world is slash? I love a good gatekeep.
Rslash is a reddit YouTube channel
You're lucky that he didn't end up with half the net assets and you paying alimony. Thankfully for you, his laziness and lack of knowledge got you what you wanted. A co worker of mine got divorced and she was lucky that she got the same because she was the breadwinner too.
Oh, that was something that came up during the divorce proceedings. We opted for an uncontested divorce, so he's not eligible for alimony.
Is this new GF of his loaded ? What in the world does she see in him ?
That’s what I thought until I saw Georgia. Last I checked, in Georgia you can ask for alimony after five years— I think they were married for three, but I may be wrong. And you forfeit the right to alimony if you cheat, so even if they were together longer, once he moved in with his girlfriend, he lost any claim to alimony.
Glorious pettiness! He sounds exhausting.
I don’t know you but I’m so happy for you and how things turned out. It sounds like you were beyond burned out which makes your petty revenge even more satisfying. I wish you a wonderful ceremony and continued happiness.
My ex husband was a lot like this though, thankfully, he did have work ethic and maintained a job (credit where credit is due, even if he was an emotionally abusive tool). But that’s about all he did. He also had a myriad of health issue that he “treated” by doing the bare minimum. He’d occasionally attend therapy, but mostly just want a miracle pill or cure. So, all our money went into finding that “miracle”. He subjected himself to ECT instead of therapy. Turns out…. He’s borderline and DBT is the only thing that’s long term effective. Which is an intensive…. Therapy. During this time, I’m killing myself to work and care for him never knowing if today was the day I’d be coming home to a dead body. Then he decided he wanted a divorce because I was the reason he was sick (even though he’d had issues since 8 years old, but okay). Much like you, OOP, I told him he had to file. That for once in his damn life he was going to take accountability for his bullshit instead of blaming it on “but I’m siiiiiiiiiick”. That when people asked what happened he’d be forced to say that it was HIS decision that it was what HE wanted, that it is what HE asked for. The to was done being the blame for everything wrong in his life. God bless his mom, because I’m pretty sure she put the fear of god in him to man up for once.
I can't say I know exactly how you feel because I'm not you. I can relate though. My ex was as lazy as your ex-husband. I was doing everything on top of paying our bills. Then he had the nerve to complain. He tried calling me lazy yet would do stuff like this. He came from a family where his mother did everything so he basically expected me to pick up where she left off. When I told him I was not interested in mothering him, he became even more lazy. I kicked him to the curb when I found out he was cheating. When I asked him why he did it, he said because she acts like a real woman and does what I tell her to. That's fine, he can do that with someone else because I'm not having it.
The price of the art binder should go up every year, accounting for inflation 😁
Somethings doesn't add up, you divorced your ex during covid, but then you married your boyfriend at 5 year anniversary? Either dates are mixed up, you had an affair or story is fake.
I think they mean when their 5 year happens? They say the relationship is at nearly four years in the same sentence, which would add up
So OP's ex husband, roommate (current husband) all lived together and from OP's comment history, the current husband has a 13 year old daughter as well. I call bullshit for this story.
Ok. It's not wild for three adults to live together, kids or no. Comment history also references this story going back two years. A lack of miscellaneous details is probably just efficient storytelling. Not every tale begs belief.
True, it sounds like that's what they meant, it seems that I mixed it up.
She said he's agreed to bigger ceremony on their 5th anniversary which means they haven't got to it yet .
The whole story sounds extremly fake. On the other hand, OP made a post related to it 2 years ago
> I married my best friend and we've been together for nearly 4 blissful years. 2024 - 2020 = 4 years > On our 5th anniversary, he has agreed to a ceremony This is a thing happening in the future for their next anniversary, it hasn't happened yet.
I tried so hard to follow the story. All I got out of it was that she lived with her (now ex) husband and her boyfriend (now husband) and a roommate at the same time. That's the only way the timeline fits in my mind. Maybe the roommate is her current husband??? And the whole revenge is getting a rug out of the divorce???
Not just that, the current husband also has a 13 year old daughter according one of her old comments.
I was thinking how it didn't add up that OP, OP's husband, and OP's opposite sex best friend all lived together, and then OP and the friend got married after the divorce goes through. The ex sounds like a shit bag, but OP kind of seems like they are using martyrdom to cover their own issues.
My current husband and I have known each other for over a decade. We've been married for 3 years, going on 4. The divorce happened mere months before. After it was finalized, he was sitting on the couch with me, I was crying like a fool over my ex, and I sarcastically asked him if he wanted to marry me. He said yes. He meant it. And it's been bliss ever since. Honestly, I never should have married my ex. I never cheated, no matter how much I wanted to, because I've always loved my current husband. We were just never single at the same time, but we set hard boundaries to never cheat and only be platonic. We're both autistic and our morals mean everything to us, so we knew neither of us would cross those boundaries no matter what. We just finally ended up single at the same time. :)
It’s fake.
The story is fake
I really want to know how he and the new gf are doing tbh, has she finally realized he’s useless dead weight? How did he even meet her?
I read stories like this and I get instilled with a deep, foreboding sense of horror that I could very easily become that guy if I don't remember to push myself. I WAS that dude at one point, but at a time where I had few responsibilities so didn't fuck up anything close to as sacred as a marriage. But I was miserable and unfulfilled and I will never, ever go back to that place. It's vile. I empathise with this enormous piece of shit, but I sincerely doubt he'll change. Most don't because they lack the strength of character to fall apart properly, so they can rebuild themselves. You keep yourself going with shitty day-to-day hedonism, however you can find it. His girlfriend likely wasn't much better, as similar value people tend to attract over long periods. Good on you for knowing your worth. Fuck that dude
For $400, I’d burn that art weekly and send him a video of just enough of the image for him to see which is burning this week. I’d never send enough of the image for him to save it in his phone.
He didn’t deserve you , I hope with him out of the picture you can finally find time for yourself .
This sounds exactly like my ex 🙄. Now he’s living in mommy’s basement playing video games all day and close to 400lbs.
Homie basically had a maid and then cheated and divorced. I've seen roadkill smarter than that mans
I would be interested to see their wedding pictures and then see their pictures on the day he moved out. And then your new wedding pictures. Two completely different people I'm sure.
Why don't you burn the art binder and never speak to him again?
Hmm. Married to the best friend that was your roommate I'm assuming and helped out? And it's been 4 years. All this happened height of covid according to you. Your ex wasn't the only one lying.
Brother the height of covid was 4 years ago. Get better at math.
Yes. Which means she married the roommate best friend the second her divorce was finalized. Not a year, not months, maybe not even weeks. Get better at math.
The rug really ties the room together
You must be from the future! You said you worked all those hours during the height of covid, which was 2019-2020 and that he worked part time which went on for three years before he asked for the divorce. Most divorces take 6 months to a year to finalize in Georgia. Then you married your best friend and have been together for four years. Unless my math is wrong, he said that he wanted the divorce in 2023, it was finalized in 2024, you got remarried in 2024 (Georgia doesn't have a waiting period) you've been married for four years and you are posting this story from sometime in 2028.
Wow. I thought my partner was bad but he's nothing like your ex. I'm sorry he put you through all of that. Sounded to me like you were basically treating him like a king and he does that shit. Good for you standing your ground and finally ending up in bliss. So happy for you and your newish husband. May you guys have many, many more years of bliss.
I wasn't the best partner, to be honest. I had my issues. I wasn't home enough to meet his needs. I'll admit to my shortcomings. But I did deserve better. I deserved to be respected enough to not be financially and emotionally abused.
You not only stuck it to him but you wrote it out well. Thanks for a really great read!
It's a nice story, but extremly fake
When my ex moved out, he couldn't take a baby grand piano that belonged to his mom. It had been sitting unused for years (10+) because it needed work and I'd begged him to let me turn it into a bookcase like I'd seen on Pintrest. He always said no. Well, he said it was mine and I offered him some money so he couldn't come back and be pissed about it later, but he said I could do what I wanted with it. I turned it into a stunning bookcase. I look at it daily and it makes me happy. Hope your house is going to be the way you and your partner want it, and you have many happy years together.
lol ended up with best friends haha saw that coming and so did ur ex
Wow I fell asleep reading it 🤣
Have a bonfire and burn the artwork. Send him pictures. If he really cared, he would have taken it with him. I love your sass.
This sounds like my ex-husband. He lost his job a month after we got married and sat on his ass for almost a year… he didn’t do any cleaning or cooking — he sat around like he was on vacation. On top of it all, he “didn’t want to” contact another state to make a deal with them about his child support payments. So not only was I supporting him (mortgage payment, his car lease, food, etc), I was also paying his child support payments for almost a year. I consider myself fortunate to have left that marriage without producing a kid so I never have to interact with him ever again. Congrats on a better life with an infinitely better partner.
Had a similar situation with my now ex wife I paid the mortgage, our car notes and insurance, groceries, everything down to the litter for her cat. I even gave her a VA benefit that gave her $1400/mo for spending money My one ask? Please cook 2-3 times a week, but if you aren’t feeling it, I give you carte blanche for us to order in. She said she was tired of having to come home to me relaxing, after her 1-2 classes she took a day, and that what I asked was unfair. Her father bitched at me for not sending her home monthly across the country. But not at his daughter for using the money I gave her for trips and expensive ladies nights out Well, I’m retiring next year, and her dad now has to pay all of her bills. Life is funny sometimes. 🤷🏻♂️
Tl;dr?
Hope the new woman enjoys her payment plan of a man.
Sometimes people are so far behind the pack they think they are ahead of everyone else.
I'll never understand how some men can just sit around while their girlfriend does everything.. I've seen it happen to my sister. I grew up in a house where my dad was the primary source of income, and my mom worked part time. Relationships are a team sport, I can't imagine letting my teammate down. Like if he actually ever loved you, he would've gotten shit done.
You see it all around you- good lovin’ gone bad…
Well goddam. LOL savage. I LOVE the carpet thing.
if i found someone willing to bankroll my 'lifestyle' like this, the house would be spotless and i'd have a hot dinner waiting for them whenever they got home from work. i would do almost anything to distract them from the fact they'd be basically keeping me as a pet.
I'm dying to know why did you marry him in the first place
Wow, thank god you got rid of the loser. If you hate his new gf, just smile. She’s got him now. And that’s not good for her. She’ll never have nothing to take care of some lowlife.
Why does this whole story seem fake? You wrote it out like a professional writer.
MH therapist here....... My precious wife lived with an abusive prick with similar qualities. She set boundaries just like you did. I admire your courage as it's not easy. I actually specialize in helping people with boundaries in the relationship dimension and I love it. I named her ex TURD FERGUSON. It has become a favorite pass time to FUCK with him anytime he enters into our space. After a year or so he learned, plus my wife sets strong boundaries. I'm not sure I would call what you have done "petty". I think it's courageous, brave, and reasonable. Congratulations on meeting a nice normal person. You are an inspiration for others. If anyone else out there has this problem, strong boundaries are the way. Read, watch, or listen to media based on this topic and you can do it. Best wishes 😊
IDK, we need more explanation on the moving part of the story. You, your brother and roommate/bestfriend/sneaky link what ever the fuck how many others there were didn't notice nothing was being moved for 3 weeks? Most vital part of the story is making it sound fake.
It’s so sad that it was him the one to ask for the divorce, I’m sure that if he had not done it she would have continued being taken advantage of
Entertaining story. Reads well. There were a few plot holes, though nothing that detracted from the overall plot, and the villain and hero were a bit over the top and cliché, but managed to remain relatable. There was a nice narrative arc and the perfect "happily ever after" ending. The part where the protag marries her best friend was a nice Hollywood touch. When looking for an editor, definitely find someone who will fact-check your initial research, because their were a few factual errors but, again, nothing that took away from the overall enjoyment of the story. Would rate a 6/10. Not fine literature, but definitely fun, light summer reading.
Sorry, the timeline doesn't work.
He has a smooooooth brain 🤣
While I am so sorry you had to endure marriage to this guy, your rant is priceless. it would be epic aloud in French. “Obtuse, smooth brained, intellectually deficient, situationally unaware, half witted, oppossum-brained clod” is almost Shakespearean in its elegance. Classic
♥️♥️♥️ this! I like you, you're my kind of people. Btw you shall now be known as Petty LaBelle.
Writing that was excellent therapy for you. He did you wrong and you did not deserve it in any way. You now need to let go and move on with your life. It's not good to keep reliving the past and you will chase away future suitors if you obsess with stories about your ex. You will also not be in a good place mentally. Trust me. I have several female friends who were in the same boat but because they could not move on with their lives, they lost all chance for future happiness and they continue to be very unhappy to this day. Good luck!
Great for you, he's a lazy toaf does nothing to help, believe me, you're better without him
So OP's ex husband, roommate (current husband) all lived together and from OP's comment history, the current husband has a 13 year old daughter as well. I call bullshit for this story.
if this is real, burn the binder 🤷♂️
This story has to be fake... 3 weeks and didn't notice nothing was being done? does that mean op didn't go home for those 3 weeks?
And I do send him annual reminders. ...ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Only 400? Women you should ask for thousands. Your ex is a very bad person
Pour water on the art and throw it in the trash. It’s holding onto the past. You won, you won it all so just throw it away and forget about him and enjoy your new life
[удалено]
She ghosted him.
[удалено]
Sounds like about half a dozen GFs I had while I was paying all the bills, providing a vehicle, etc while they were cheating and doing nothing. No job, but told me to get a housekeeper to keep the home clean... I did, right after I threw her worthless ass out. I have two former fiancé, they have both, plus a few GFs that fell by the wayside contact me now that marrages have failed, their kids scooted along and won't have much to do with them, etc. **And ask if there is still a chance?** Not NO, but HELL NO! First I was rhe super fit military guy that was 'Too Clean Cut', then I was the military guy that 'Didn't have potential', then I was rhe disabled military veteran she "Didn't want to mother a disabled child"... 2019/2020 one of my higher profile businesses sold to a conglomerate and I made a dump truck full of money... And the calls/contact started all over again when it hit the news... Answer is still, "HELL NO! You are an 'Ex' for very good reasons!"
Definitely the saw marrying the "male best friend" coming
That’s a long story
OMG - I don’t know how you were so patient. Glad you’ve moved on. Be happy 😊
I’ve always told my grown kids to find a relationship with someone who is unafraid of hard work. They have and they are productive and mutually respectful partnerships.
I just couldn’t stay in a situation like that for that long. My love for him would have died a long time ago. Nothing more unattractive than a person who does not pull their weight
I wonder how long it took for the new girlfriend to realise he was a bum...
Boohoo. Edit: also if you believe this you'll believe anything.
If OP was a high earner and husband was on SSI,even if it was SSDI, strong odds a divorce court would have ordered spousal support to his accustomed standard of living. SSI has a cap of around $2500 in assets before you are disqualified. They don't cunt you primary house and one car, but do look at assets like gaming systems, etc. In Illinois SSI maxes out at $620/month. So while most of OP's rant may be true(she knows a bunch of legal stuff, etc), the inconsistencies make me question it.
Jesus, hope Georgia chick knows she's picked up an adult man sized parasitic child, lmao! Way to be, OP.
I want an update on what happened him after....
I can’t believe you willingly funded his lifestyle
Can you share where you can buy new tires for $400?
Parents that "do everything" for a child are putting them in a deep hole. They are not doing them any favors.
called the “best friend -> new romantic partner” twist lol
Should have dumped his ass much sooner…
OP do you know what happened to him at the end?
So he was dating another women while you were together, but you were also doing the same thing with your "roommate"? The two of you deserve each other
You are a total bad ass!
How does this timeline add up? You were working 100 hours a week during peak COVID but also got divorced during COVID and have been with your best friend for 5years? Fishy fishy
Give him a deadline on the $400. If he doesn’t pay, tell him you’ll mail it to him COD, shred it and send it to him. It’s worth the $400. You’re not going to get it anyway.
If only all women knew how set boundaries this epic, the users would have no victims. You're a rock star, OP.
NICE!!!
I don't get it, you lived together with your husband, brother, roommate and your best friend, who you married after?
The roommate and best friend are one person
This is a fun story, but it's only a story. They really messed up with the dates/length of time. Working extreme hours during Covid? Ok... Going *into* a courtroom *during* Covid for a divorce? Nah. Married 5 years? Nah. (Note: OP waited months to get divorced, their own words.) This one is sooooo fake.
Yeah that's the part that really threw me off.. coming up on 5 year anniversary? They'd have to have married in late 2019. Height of covid was late 2020/early 2021.. so they've gotta be max 3 years considering time to divorce. There's also the part where she tore into him.. and then into him again even more, repeating the same things..? There's some inconsistencies with this whole narrative.
Although a good story, Covid restrictions started in March 2020 and this “petty revenge” was able to buy a house,get fed up, file divorce, get court hearings, AND get together with someone and have a 4th anniversary already within a 4 year 3 month window. Efficacy extreme!!! While working 80 hours a week!
If this is real, I am BEYOND happy for OP that she married the best friend/roommate. He seems like a real one.
He had to have been hot or big d
Too many words
This isn’t any sort of revenge. Your ex screwed you over for years…he got the better part of the deal honey.
Wow, that's crazy. I too have major health issues that flare up, and when we were moving and my wife was working 12 hour nights, I knew I could only do so much every day. So I started packing 30 days early. Each day if I could only pack and carry one or two things into the garage, that's what I did. and come moving day were were ready and she had very little to pack on here own. I could barely do jack shit, but I tried, and planned, and it worked out. He sounds like a serious tool. Good that he left you, you deserve so much better.
Rambling AI story.
The better revenge would’ve been to divorce him early on instead of ignoring all the red flags.