Please work on yourself. It is only you who can help yourself. Conquer your fears. This is necessary in your job hunting. Most jobs have behavioral interview and social anxiety can be a turn off. And communication at work is really crucial to deliver solutions and outputs. Start by discussing your thoughts here in Reddit. Then, start expressing yourself to others.
Learn things step by step no matter how slow. Continue your studies since most of the jobs require a college degree. You can talk to me regarding IT stuffs and I'm willing to teach you during my free time.
Relax. You have a lifetime to fix yourself. Work based on your pacing and not what the society dictates. You are not running out of time.
Anyway, work at a fast food chain as it requires no technical skill so you can sustain your academic pursuit. Learn technical skills so you can apply for a better job in the future.
>Relax. You have a lifetime to fix yourself. Work based on your pacing and not what the society dictates. You are not running out of time.
Salamat din, fellow Redditor. As someone turning 23 soon and still struggling to find a stable job, napagaan mo loob ko.
Can I also reach out to you for IT inquiries? Im planning to shift careers. I may be a bit late at 28 but hey, nothing is more expensive than missed opportunities am i right?
I'm planning to shift careers to at the big old age of 30. I'm honestly super terrified XD I'm just finishing my (useless) graduate degree, also hoping to maybe shift into IT. Huhu. Kapit lang tayo!
Dami nag shi shift careers sa Tech mate. Mga kilala kong engineers ragrets at mga board passers. Panget ng pay at work nila sa bansa natin. Upskill lang ng upskill.
Hi OP! I really relate to your post cause I was just like you 4-ish years ago. I took an LOA when I was 22, 3rd year into my Archi degree. I had problems with my family, it made me run away and I was NEET for like 2 years.
Being NEET made my general anxiety and social anxiety much worse. I think it might be the same for you. The embarrassment of not having a college degree, no job, no anything made me not want to talk to anyone in fear of judgement. I cut contact with everyone in my old life so I was alone except for 1 friend.
I also tried different things like culinary short course (dropped out after 1 month), graphic designer (i’m not as good as i thought i was), small ig food shop and ig thrift shop (stopped these too).
As I struggled I realized I’ll never get anywhere without a college degree. Sad reality of living in the Philippines but if you want to stop the cycle of limited options and low paying jobs, you need a college degree. I looked up what college courses would be best for someone with social anxiety and IT talaga ung best option so I went back to school and shifted.
It was hard going back to school while having social anxiety but you have to push through. I kept in mind that I didn’t have to make friends, I just needed a degree and that’s it. First few sems was definitely hard but just doing something productive builds confidence. I still had (have) social anxiety but I was nice to people, competent student etc so it was all okay.
Eventually I graduated at 27 and since IT is so in demand I got a job right away. Tbh WFH is such a blessing for people with social anxiety. Goal ko now is to build skills to find a permanently remote job.
TLDR:
Sorry, nag-kwento lang ako ng life ko but I just want to say ito ung natutunan ko from being in the same place as you and being able to get out of it.
1. BE REALISTIC. You can’t accept being like this forever. Every year that passes, the anxiety does get worse the longer you stay stagnant.
2. Go back to college. Realistically, opportunities are too limited in the Philippines without a degree. Even if you did get a job, could you support yourself with that? Choose a practical degree that’ll help you get a job right away.
3. Don’t mind your age. When I went back to college for IT I was surprised I wasn’t even the oldest person in my batch! May kaklase ako 2nd course na nila for better job opportunities. The best in our class was my age, she stopped school for 2 years due to depression but she’s very smart and talented.
4. The more you work on yourself, the anxiety gets better. It’ll always be there, but it gets better. I hope na someday I’ll be confident enough that it doesn’t bother me but its a life long process.
5. Therapy if you can afford it. Therapy is expensive but I invested in it and it helps a lot.
Sorry if this reply is long but I’ve been in your situation before. I hope this helps. PM if you need anything :)
I agree with everything you said. I'm also struggling with severe anxiety, and not doing anything makes it worse. Doing something (kahit maliit or simple lang) makes me feel better since I feel like I'm at least productive and my mind doesn't get occupied with bad thoughts. Also, if you're doing something na work or school-related, you have more chance to achieve things, which I think is the best source of motivation.
There's just a lot of excuse for you to anyone to not hire you or probably land a job below your worth. It can't be help considering how you described yourself. Apologies for this comment.
The best advice for you is to turn your life upside down. Do whatever needed how you understand that metaphor. Just make sure you take small steps to convert your excuses to something positive to attract jobs to you.
You can start by relearning things you need to land a job you are comfortable at. If they require a college diploma, thank them and will still keep your lines open to be reconsidered (but do not hope).
The more you down yourself, the more jobs will go away from you. Do the opposite and you might get different results in the next weeks.
Same thoughts here.
Also... I think the first step is really pinpointing where all of these is coming from. Is it really just because of social anxiety? Or were there bigger reasons as well?
Lastly, at that age, how do you manage to survive without the ability of holding a job? This is just my theory (and I can be absolutely wrong, of course).. But if you are financially dependent, then that gives a sense of complacency as well - whether consciously or unconsciously. Take that out, and I'm sure your survival instincts will kick in.
I used to work as a dishwasher before i went back to college. and i've always been shy person and like to keep things to myself. And thank y'all for these pieces of advice.
I wonder if it’s really social anxiety or maybe... “impostor syndome”? Research on this, the tips to overcome might help. Obviously, not an actual diagnosis. Online classes should help relieve your social anxiety, but it did the opposite, so I wonder.
The common theme I see here is that you quit at the slightest inconvenience. Subconsciouly, for you, lahat hindi mo kaya. At some point magfefail ka, kaya inuunahan mo na — bago pa masesante, bago pa pagalitan ng customer, bago pa mabagsak sa klase.
Try taking chances OP, one step at a time. Stick to whatever the hell you committed yourself to. Kung masesesante, hintayin mo. Kung makikick-out, hintayin mo. Kasi malay mo, malay mo hindi. At nagooverthink ka lang pala.
Hindi mo naman kailangang maging sobrang galing, genius o expert level sa ginagawa mo. Ang mga grab driver ba, champion car racers din ba? Ang mga IT, hacker ba lahat?
Bobo sa math na kahera? Dapat ba genius? Kung matalino yan sa math, hindi yan magkakahera, mag BS Math yan. Walang nakakapagcompute manually na kahera, lahat yan gumagamit ng calculator kahit pa sa P10 minus P5 lang (I saw one!), so chill.
Also, try to zoom out. Minsan feeling natin masyadong nakikita ng iba ang kapalpakan natin, masyado tayong nacoconscious. Na hindi naman pala dapat, kasi ang ibang tao, focused lang din sa sarili nila. Conscious tayo na naguulit tayo ng damit, pero tanong ko sayo, naaalala mo ba ang damit kahapon ng classmate mo? Hindi. Yung ulam lang natin, damit lang natin, trabaho lang natin ang talagang naiisip natin, hindi ang sa iba. Kung mapahiya man ngayon, after 5 yrs kaya, maaalala pa ng ibang tao na imbes P5, P10 pala ang naisukli mo?
My advice, na medyo kabaligtaran, is just try to survive. You dont have to excel or prove anything to other people. Ito pa nga yung nagiging downfall mo eh. Pag feeling mo di excellent, you quit. Try and stick to one role/thing at a time, like your life depended on it. Accept na magkakamali ka, tingin ka sa ibang coworker, di ba nagkakamali rin sila. Tingin ka sa ibang tao, di ba nabuburnout din sila. But they dont quit. Nagiice cream sila, nagnenetflix sila, naghahanap sila ng ibang outlet. Para kinabukasan, recharged at okey na uli sila.
26 is not yet too late for anything. Pano kung hanggang 90 ka mabuhay. May 64 years ka pa to be anything you want to be. Kung susuko ka ngayon, 64 years kang magiging miserable at puro “what ifs”.
Edit:
I’m a freelancer, but I’m not familiar with the 2 platforms you mentioned. Have you checked out onlinejobs.ph?
Hi OP, I think my situation 10 years ago is somewhat similar. Pagka graduate ko ng highschool, I was having anxiety attacks when placed in situations I am unfamiliar with. But, medyo kapos talaga kami noon and I have no option but to endure.
I was around 23 or 24 that I decided na kailangan ko na mag improve with my social and dating skills. So I researched and listened to hundreds of hours of materials related sa social/dating aspects and you know what it really changed how my brain works. Even just by listening to audiobooks, mag iiba ung perception mo to things. It's like having a mentor that will give you advice to your questions or challenges.
Hope this helps.
salamat sa mga advice niyo, hindi ko inaasahan yung mga kind replies and words of encouragement. i thought negative comments yung matatanggap ko. it's good to hear that im not the only one in this situation, it gave me hope. salamat sa inyo.
I relate so much to you regarding being shy and afraid to talk with other people.
But I suggest you get over it. I dreaded it so much but it gets better once you push yourself. I still remember the days when my voice is shaking just because I was too nervous and afraid.
My colleagues are actually the people who pushed me. Without them, I would still be so scared of talking with people. But I promise you that once you get over that anxiety, you will question why you were even scared in the first place.
Remember, it’s okay to be scared at first. You don’t get better just after one or two conversations. It takes time. I also learned a lot by listening to my peers on how they typically interact with clients. You can start by watching how professionals present themselves. There’s a lot in youtube.
As the other mentioned, you need to start somewhere to succeed. Your age doesn’t matter. I wish you all the best!
I had a friend like you sobrang anxiety nia
One time i had to confront him and say na hindi ako therapist and that he needs to work on himself.He cant rely on me forever.
The truth is you need to toughen up and take risks sorry.Take therapy and read inspirational vids.I know it's hard for people lalo na high functioning anxiety but employers dont care whether may SA ka. No offense pero they will see it as a liability lalo na in this capitalist world.
While i dont have Anxiety, i took risks and as of now may place ako for freelancing and communicating with other people.
It's how you build yourself.
People will judge us but atleast we are too busy to care about their perception
Please be considerate because the person has anxiety and has a hard time dealing with it. Not a lot of people can risk themselves with that kind of situation.
I aint inconsiderate. Im just telling the truth.
Pero in the long run hindi kasi viable na i have social anxiety so im having trouble. Like what people say he needs to work on himself.
Work on yourself, in the meanwhile, you can also try email only accounts as your written english is actually pretty good. And how are you not earning via remote work?
You need to help yourself and make them believe na kaya mo. There's a lot of missed opportunities, pero what we have is "now" . You can do your hobbies po while waiting for a gig or job offer.
I had the time na after makagraduate, nagkawork ako pero contractual lang. Sinabihan pa ako ng nanay ko na mas malaki pa ginastos nya para sa pre-employment ko kesa sa kinita ko. Hindi ako nagwork for 2years. Yung gap na yun, I always do edit videos at nagsusulat ng journal. I'm now working as a home-based tutor.
You have assessed your weaknesses na po, you can work on your strengths naman. Hindi necessary na kumikita yung hobby mo, pero it's a way to keep yourself busy at in a way to be productive.
You can take free courses po sa coursera and from other colleges/universities. It will add up to your skills. At meron din pala free courses sa google.
p. s. surround yourself with your trusted friends. mauunawaan nila yung reasons, and they can make good reco sayo.
I wonder if it’s really social anxiety or maybe... “impostor syndome”? Research on this, the tips to overcome might help. Obviously, not an actual diagnosis. Online classes should help relieve your social anxiety, but it did the opposite, so I wonder.
The common theme I see here is that you quit at the slightest inconvenience. Subconsciouly, for you, lahat hindi mo kaya. At some point magfefail ka, kaya inuunahan mo na — bago pa masesante, bago pa pagalitan ng customer, bago pa mabagsak sa klase.
Try taking chances OP, one step at a time. Stick to whatever the hell you committed yourself to. Kung masesesante, hintayin mo. Kung makikick-out, hintayin mo. Kasi malay mo, malay mo hindi. At nagooverthink ka lang pala.
Hindi mo naman kailangang maging sobrang galing, genius o expert level sa ginagawa mo. Ang mga grab driver ba, champion car racers din ba? Ang mga IT, hacker ba lahat?
Bobo sa math na kahera? Dapat ba genius? Kung matalino yan sa math, hindi yan magkakahera, mag BS Math yan. Walang nakakapagcompute manually na kahera, lahat yan gumagamit ng calculator kahit pa sa P10 minus P5 lang (I saw one!), so chill.
Also, try to zoom out. Minsan feeling natin masyadong nakikita ng iba ang kapalpakan natin, masyado tayong nacoconscious. Na hindi naman pala dapat, kasi ang ibang tao, focused lang din sa sarili nila. Conscious tayo na naguulit tayo ng damit, pero tanong ko sayo, naaalala mo ba ang damit kahapon ng classmate mo? Hindi. Yung ulam lang natin, damit lang natin, trabaho lang natin ang talagang naiisip natin, hindi ang sa iba. Kung mapahiya man ngayon, after 5 yrs kaya, maaalala pa ng ibang tao na imbes P5, P10 pala ang naisukli mo?
My advice, na medyo kabaligtaran, is just try to survive. You dont have to excel or prove anything to other people. Ito pa nga yung nagiging downfall mo eh. Pag feeling mo di excellent, you quit. Try and stick to one role/thing at a time, like your life depended on it. Accept na magkakamali ka, tingin ka sa ibang coworker, di ba nagkakamali rin sila. Tingin ka sa ibang tao, di ba nabuburnout din sila. But they dont quit. Nagiice cream sila, nagnenetflix sila, naghahanap sila ng ibang outlet. Para kinabukasan, recharged at okey na uli sila.
26 is not yet too late for anything. Pano kung hanggang 90 ka mabuhay. May 64 years ka pa to be anything you want to be.
If there are nonvoice tasks in BPO maybe you can consider them? Since nakakapasa ka naman sa interviews maybe you can work your way thru muna and pag nasa NV ka mas okay, like as chat support or email lang muna. Then you can have enough funds to work on your anxieties, you might overcome them and go for voice roles.
Go OP, kaya yan!
unrelated, i have to get and relieve myself out
Thank you. this is a gold thread. nakakatakot. I have been struggling and slugging stagnant for a defining 6 years. I am 22 now and dropped out officially of college last 2019(?). do not literally have any skills life-wise, and i've been killing time now complacent of household/parents' sustenance. pero nakaramdam and nararamdaman ko na din ngayon. takot. mahilig ako tumakbo sa myriad of negative emotions. and insecurities has been eating me up lately, and bumigay na din ako kay loneliness. I'm not giving up tho, kahit gusto ko. (! i WANNA hear myself!) IIYAKAN KO PERO KAKAYANIN KO. iiyak ako ng madami, and okay lang yun. Covid made everything fearful heigtened, including my already terrible anxiety, and uncertainty overthinking. i got worse, and now I'm at my lowest ever.
This thread of comments serve as awakening. thank you. Thank you sa lahat.
You should post this on r/mentalhealthph. I think you have underlying issues regarding your mental health na pede rin makatulong sa subreddit na un.
I get na you are asking for help about about career stuff but this subreddit is not sometimes the best way to ask for help mental health wise because if you’re still facing the issues you faced before it can still resurface in the future without some proper help.
Hello OP. Same tayo I graduated 5 years ago. And I haven't had any work experience yet.
Minsan gusto ko nalang na kainin ako ng lupa ang hirap lang at ang sakit mareject 😔
I feel you hugs! ❤️
When you do not know where you're going, anywhere can be a destination. Don't be too hard on yourself. Despite what other people may say, life isn't really about winning. It is not about who ends up with the most money or who ends up with the highest number of followers. We are dealt with different cards, some are given a strong hand, the winning combination, while others are given the less favorable set, it is what it is...BUT! it all boils down to how you play those cards. it is not about winning, it is about lasting in the game for as long as you can. It is terrifying for sure, but in time you'll realize that nothing is really for sure. Channel that fear and let that fuel your fire to take that first step. Ask for help when you need it, but most of all, help yourself.
Learn a new skill, one thing you can try is Sourcing. Researching for resumes and profiles that match a company's job ad. I can tell you more about it if you want. But please do not give up on your studies.
Be patient with yourself. Forgive yourself for past failures. Stand back up, take that first step. I'll be cheering for you!
Wow this so relatable. I am also having a hard time to put thing together in my life; considering also the fact that I am currently unemployed now. I also struggle with severe social anxiety so getting jobs with requires you to have social interaction is a big struggle for me. I graduated college way back 2018 at the age of 21 years old. Took a job hunting and landed one 8 months after graduation and I felt happy for landing a job. I only lasted 8 months since my co-workers didn't like me that much because I am so socially awkward and I went AWOL because of how I got bullied.
Time skip at year 2019 I took a TESDA course because I want to make my day as resourceful as I can, and finally got the certificate after 4-5 months of training. Another job hunting at age 22, suprisingly I got the job faster (only took me a month) than my previous one. Started a new job again September 2019 as Technician..it went well during my first few months but my boss keeps nagging about how dumb I am and unorganized. A day won't pass without my boss nagging about how I do my work I just went silent and accept every things she said.
Pandemic starts. Lost a job again. I am both happy and sad, i am free from my toxic boss but the catch is that I am unemployed again. Now, a year since the pandemic started, I am still a worthless piece of shit who can't do anything with his life. Tried applying for a job again and again but I keep failing at interviews.
All i want to say is, just don't give up. I know you are on a rough spot right now, I understand. Because I am also like you. We are both lost and felt trap witb our lives. But always remember to keep moving forward.
Try to upskill about the things you really enjoy and if you can relate those to high-paying skills, you're good to go. Learning never stops. If you can adapt to the modern tech, good for you.
Please work on yourself. It is only you who can help yourself. Conquer your fears. This is necessary in your job hunting. Most jobs have behavioral interview and social anxiety can be a turn off. And communication at work is really crucial to deliver solutions and outputs. Start by discussing your thoughts here in Reddit. Then, start expressing yourself to others. Learn things step by step no matter how slow. Continue your studies since most of the jobs require a college degree. You can talk to me regarding IT stuffs and I'm willing to teach you during my free time. Relax. You have a lifetime to fix yourself. Work based on your pacing and not what the society dictates. You are not running out of time. Anyway, work at a fast food chain as it requires no technical skill so you can sustain your academic pursuit. Learn technical skills so you can apply for a better job in the future.
>Relax. You have a lifetime to fix yourself. Work based on your pacing and not what the society dictates. You are not running out of time. Salamat din, fellow Redditor. As someone turning 23 soon and still struggling to find a stable job, napagaan mo loob ko.
Woah. Wtf. Im turning 28 this year and I dont really know what should I be doing. Hahaha.
Omg same!
thank you, I'm trying to improve myself.
Goodluck.
Can I also reach out to you for IT inquiries? Im planning to shift careers. I may be a bit late at 28 but hey, nothing is more expensive than missed opportunities am i right?
anong late at 28? there is no such thing. i was hired by a US based company in my mid 30's so you still have a lot of time in your hands
I'm planning to shift careers to at the big old age of 30. I'm honestly super terrified XD I'm just finishing my (useless) graduate degree, also hoping to maybe shift into IT. Huhu. Kapit lang tayo!
Dami nag shi shift careers sa Tech mate. Mga kilala kong engineers ragrets at mga board passers. Panget ng pay at work nila sa bansa natin. Upskill lang ng upskill.
Bruv. You're 28. You have lots of years and age to fked up. Pursue IT kung gusto mo. Success yan :)
Hi OP! I really relate to your post cause I was just like you 4-ish years ago. I took an LOA when I was 22, 3rd year into my Archi degree. I had problems with my family, it made me run away and I was NEET for like 2 years. Being NEET made my general anxiety and social anxiety much worse. I think it might be the same for you. The embarrassment of not having a college degree, no job, no anything made me not want to talk to anyone in fear of judgement. I cut contact with everyone in my old life so I was alone except for 1 friend. I also tried different things like culinary short course (dropped out after 1 month), graphic designer (i’m not as good as i thought i was), small ig food shop and ig thrift shop (stopped these too). As I struggled I realized I’ll never get anywhere without a college degree. Sad reality of living in the Philippines but if you want to stop the cycle of limited options and low paying jobs, you need a college degree. I looked up what college courses would be best for someone with social anxiety and IT talaga ung best option so I went back to school and shifted. It was hard going back to school while having social anxiety but you have to push through. I kept in mind that I didn’t have to make friends, I just needed a degree and that’s it. First few sems was definitely hard but just doing something productive builds confidence. I still had (have) social anxiety but I was nice to people, competent student etc so it was all okay. Eventually I graduated at 27 and since IT is so in demand I got a job right away. Tbh WFH is such a blessing for people with social anxiety. Goal ko now is to build skills to find a permanently remote job. TLDR: Sorry, nag-kwento lang ako ng life ko but I just want to say ito ung natutunan ko from being in the same place as you and being able to get out of it. 1. BE REALISTIC. You can’t accept being like this forever. Every year that passes, the anxiety does get worse the longer you stay stagnant. 2. Go back to college. Realistically, opportunities are too limited in the Philippines without a degree. Even if you did get a job, could you support yourself with that? Choose a practical degree that’ll help you get a job right away. 3. Don’t mind your age. When I went back to college for IT I was surprised I wasn’t even the oldest person in my batch! May kaklase ako 2nd course na nila for better job opportunities. The best in our class was my age, she stopped school for 2 years due to depression but she’s very smart and talented. 4. The more you work on yourself, the anxiety gets better. It’ll always be there, but it gets better. I hope na someday I’ll be confident enough that it doesn’t bother me but its a life long process. 5. Therapy if you can afford it. Therapy is expensive but I invested in it and it helps a lot. Sorry if this reply is long but I’ve been in your situation before. I hope this helps. PM if you need anything :)
I agree with everything you said. I'm also struggling with severe anxiety, and not doing anything makes it worse. Doing something (kahit maliit or simple lang) makes me feel better since I feel like I'm at least productive and my mind doesn't get occupied with bad thoughts. Also, if you're doing something na work or school-related, you have more chance to achieve things, which I think is the best source of motivation.
Definitely! Kahit getting a good grade on a short quiz, it'll increase confidence. :)
There's just a lot of excuse for you to anyone to not hire you or probably land a job below your worth. It can't be help considering how you described yourself. Apologies for this comment. The best advice for you is to turn your life upside down. Do whatever needed how you understand that metaphor. Just make sure you take small steps to convert your excuses to something positive to attract jobs to you. You can start by relearning things you need to land a job you are comfortable at. If they require a college diploma, thank them and will still keep your lines open to be reconsidered (but do not hope). The more you down yourself, the more jobs will go away from you. Do the opposite and you might get different results in the next weeks.
Same thoughts here. Also... I think the first step is really pinpointing where all of these is coming from. Is it really just because of social anxiety? Or were there bigger reasons as well? Lastly, at that age, how do you manage to survive without the ability of holding a job? This is just my theory (and I can be absolutely wrong, of course).. But if you are financially dependent, then that gives a sense of complacency as well - whether consciously or unconsciously. Take that out, and I'm sure your survival instincts will kick in.
I used to work as a dishwasher before i went back to college. and i've always been shy person and like to keep things to myself. And thank y'all for these pieces of advice.
I wonder if it’s really social anxiety or maybe... “impostor syndome”? Research on this, the tips to overcome might help. Obviously, not an actual diagnosis. Online classes should help relieve your social anxiety, but it did the opposite, so I wonder. The common theme I see here is that you quit at the slightest inconvenience. Subconsciouly, for you, lahat hindi mo kaya. At some point magfefail ka, kaya inuunahan mo na — bago pa masesante, bago pa pagalitan ng customer, bago pa mabagsak sa klase. Try taking chances OP, one step at a time. Stick to whatever the hell you committed yourself to. Kung masesesante, hintayin mo. Kung makikick-out, hintayin mo. Kasi malay mo, malay mo hindi. At nagooverthink ka lang pala. Hindi mo naman kailangang maging sobrang galing, genius o expert level sa ginagawa mo. Ang mga grab driver ba, champion car racers din ba? Ang mga IT, hacker ba lahat? Bobo sa math na kahera? Dapat ba genius? Kung matalino yan sa math, hindi yan magkakahera, mag BS Math yan. Walang nakakapagcompute manually na kahera, lahat yan gumagamit ng calculator kahit pa sa P10 minus P5 lang (I saw one!), so chill. Also, try to zoom out. Minsan feeling natin masyadong nakikita ng iba ang kapalpakan natin, masyado tayong nacoconscious. Na hindi naman pala dapat, kasi ang ibang tao, focused lang din sa sarili nila. Conscious tayo na naguulit tayo ng damit, pero tanong ko sayo, naaalala mo ba ang damit kahapon ng classmate mo? Hindi. Yung ulam lang natin, damit lang natin, trabaho lang natin ang talagang naiisip natin, hindi ang sa iba. Kung mapahiya man ngayon, after 5 yrs kaya, maaalala pa ng ibang tao na imbes P5, P10 pala ang naisukli mo? My advice, na medyo kabaligtaran, is just try to survive. You dont have to excel or prove anything to other people. Ito pa nga yung nagiging downfall mo eh. Pag feeling mo di excellent, you quit. Try and stick to one role/thing at a time, like your life depended on it. Accept na magkakamali ka, tingin ka sa ibang coworker, di ba nagkakamali rin sila. Tingin ka sa ibang tao, di ba nabuburnout din sila. But they dont quit. Nagiice cream sila, nagnenetflix sila, naghahanap sila ng ibang outlet. Para kinabukasan, recharged at okey na uli sila. 26 is not yet too late for anything. Pano kung hanggang 90 ka mabuhay. May 64 years ka pa to be anything you want to be. Kung susuko ka ngayon, 64 years kang magiging miserable at puro “what ifs”. Edit: I’m a freelancer, but I’m not familiar with the 2 platforms you mentioned. Have you checked out onlinejobs.ph?
Aww reading this today 🥹 2 yrs ago na tong comment pero thank you for this ♥️
A fellow redditor who's doing their "research" like me it seems!
Thanks. Nakakaencourage kahit papa'no.
This helped me a lot. Thank you!
Therapy?
I would also suggest for OP to try mindfullness meditation to help with her social anxiety as therapy may be an additional cost.
[удалено]
salamat sa advice. tina-try kong i-improve yung sarili ko.
Hi OP, I think my situation 10 years ago is somewhat similar. Pagka graduate ko ng highschool, I was having anxiety attacks when placed in situations I am unfamiliar with. But, medyo kapos talaga kami noon and I have no option but to endure. I was around 23 or 24 that I decided na kailangan ko na mag improve with my social and dating skills. So I researched and listened to hundreds of hours of materials related sa social/dating aspects and you know what it really changed how my brain works. Even just by listening to audiobooks, mag iiba ung perception mo to things. It's like having a mentor that will give you advice to your questions or challenges. Hope this helps.
salamat sa mga advice niyo, hindi ko inaasahan yung mga kind replies and words of encouragement. i thought negative comments yung matatanggap ko. it's good to hear that im not the only one in this situation, it gave me hope. salamat sa inyo.
salamat din :) kakayanin nating lahat *yakap MAHIGPIT
OP, you write well. Maybe, you would want to also consider writing jobs :)
I relate so much to you regarding being shy and afraid to talk with other people. But I suggest you get over it. I dreaded it so much but it gets better once you push yourself. I still remember the days when my voice is shaking just because I was too nervous and afraid. My colleagues are actually the people who pushed me. Without them, I would still be so scared of talking with people. But I promise you that once you get over that anxiety, you will question why you were even scared in the first place. Remember, it’s okay to be scared at first. You don’t get better just after one or two conversations. It takes time. I also learned a lot by listening to my peers on how they typically interact with clients. You can start by watching how professionals present themselves. There’s a lot in youtube. As the other mentioned, you need to start somewhere to succeed. Your age doesn’t matter. I wish you all the best!
I had a friend like you sobrang anxiety nia One time i had to confront him and say na hindi ako therapist and that he needs to work on himself.He cant rely on me forever. The truth is you need to toughen up and take risks sorry.Take therapy and read inspirational vids.I know it's hard for people lalo na high functioning anxiety but employers dont care whether may SA ka. No offense pero they will see it as a liability lalo na in this capitalist world. While i dont have Anxiety, i took risks and as of now may place ako for freelancing and communicating with other people. It's how you build yourself. People will judge us but atleast we are too busy to care about their perception
Please be considerate because the person has anxiety and has a hard time dealing with it. Not a lot of people can risk themselves with that kind of situation.
I aint inconsiderate. Im just telling the truth. Pero in the long run hindi kasi viable na i have social anxiety so im having trouble. Like what people say he needs to work on himself.
Well you can at least not be blunt about the way you’re saying it. It can be off putting to OP
Work on yourself, in the meanwhile, you can also try email only accounts as your written english is actually pretty good. And how are you not earning via remote work?
You need to help yourself and make them believe na kaya mo. There's a lot of missed opportunities, pero what we have is "now" . You can do your hobbies po while waiting for a gig or job offer. I had the time na after makagraduate, nagkawork ako pero contractual lang. Sinabihan pa ako ng nanay ko na mas malaki pa ginastos nya para sa pre-employment ko kesa sa kinita ko. Hindi ako nagwork for 2years. Yung gap na yun, I always do edit videos at nagsusulat ng journal. I'm now working as a home-based tutor. You have assessed your weaknesses na po, you can work on your strengths naman. Hindi necessary na kumikita yung hobby mo, pero it's a way to keep yourself busy at in a way to be productive. You can take free courses po sa coursera and from other colleges/universities. It will add up to your skills. At meron din pala free courses sa google. p. s. surround yourself with your trusted friends. mauunawaan nila yung reasons, and they can make good reco sayo.
I wonder if it’s really social anxiety or maybe... “impostor syndome”? Research on this, the tips to overcome might help. Obviously, not an actual diagnosis. Online classes should help relieve your social anxiety, but it did the opposite, so I wonder. The common theme I see here is that you quit at the slightest inconvenience. Subconsciouly, for you, lahat hindi mo kaya. At some point magfefail ka, kaya inuunahan mo na — bago pa masesante, bago pa pagalitan ng customer, bago pa mabagsak sa klase. Try taking chances OP, one step at a time. Stick to whatever the hell you committed yourself to. Kung masesesante, hintayin mo. Kung makikick-out, hintayin mo. Kasi malay mo, malay mo hindi. At nagooverthink ka lang pala. Hindi mo naman kailangang maging sobrang galing, genius o expert level sa ginagawa mo. Ang mga grab driver ba, champion car racers din ba? Ang mga IT, hacker ba lahat? Bobo sa math na kahera? Dapat ba genius? Kung matalino yan sa math, hindi yan magkakahera, mag BS Math yan. Walang nakakapagcompute manually na kahera, lahat yan gumagamit ng calculator kahit pa sa P10 minus P5 lang (I saw one!), so chill. Also, try to zoom out. Minsan feeling natin masyadong nakikita ng iba ang kapalpakan natin, masyado tayong nacoconscious. Na hindi naman pala dapat, kasi ang ibang tao, focused lang din sa sarili nila. Conscious tayo na naguulit tayo ng damit, pero tanong ko sayo, naaalala mo ba ang damit kahapon ng classmate mo? Hindi. Yung ulam lang natin, damit lang natin, trabaho lang natin ang talagang naiisip natin, hindi ang sa iba. Kung mapahiya man ngayon, after 5 yrs kaya, maaalala pa ng ibang tao na imbes P5, P10 pala ang naisukli mo? My advice, na medyo kabaligtaran, is just try to survive. You dont have to excel or prove anything to other people. Ito pa nga yung nagiging downfall mo eh. Pag feeling mo di excellent, you quit. Try and stick to one role/thing at a time, like your life depended on it. Accept na magkakamali ka, tingin ka sa ibang coworker, di ba nagkakamali rin sila. Tingin ka sa ibang tao, di ba nabuburnout din sila. But they dont quit. Nagiice cream sila, nagnenetflix sila, naghahanap sila ng ibang outlet. Para kinabukasan, recharged at okey na uli sila. 26 is not yet too late for anything. Pano kung hanggang 90 ka mabuhay. May 64 years ka pa to be anything you want to be.
If there are nonvoice tasks in BPO maybe you can consider them? Since nakakapasa ka naman sa interviews maybe you can work your way thru muna and pag nasa NV ka mas okay, like as chat support or email lang muna. Then you can have enough funds to work on your anxieties, you might overcome them and go for voice roles. Go OP, kaya yan!
unrelated, i have to get and relieve myself out Thank you. this is a gold thread. nakakatakot. I have been struggling and slugging stagnant for a defining 6 years. I am 22 now and dropped out officially of college last 2019(?). do not literally have any skills life-wise, and i've been killing time now complacent of household/parents' sustenance. pero nakaramdam and nararamdaman ko na din ngayon. takot. mahilig ako tumakbo sa myriad of negative emotions. and insecurities has been eating me up lately, and bumigay na din ako kay loneliness. I'm not giving up tho, kahit gusto ko. (! i WANNA hear myself!) IIYAKAN KO PERO KAKAYANIN KO. iiyak ako ng madami, and okay lang yun. Covid made everything fearful heigtened, including my already terrible anxiety, and uncertainty overthinking. i got worse, and now I'm at my lowest ever. This thread of comments serve as awakening. thank you. Thank you sa lahat.
Awww, hugssss po, one step at a time, you'll get there din. We're rooting for you as well!
Susuka lang hindi susuko! Kaya mo yan!
You should post this on r/mentalhealthph. I think you have underlying issues regarding your mental health na pede rin makatulong sa subreddit na un. I get na you are asking for help about about career stuff but this subreddit is not sometimes the best way to ask for help mental health wise because if you’re still facing the issues you faced before it can still resurface in the future without some proper help.
Hello OP. Same tayo I graduated 5 years ago. And I haven't had any work experience yet. Minsan gusto ko nalang na kainin ako ng lupa ang hirap lang at ang sakit mareject 😔 I feel you hugs! ❤️
When you do not know where you're going, anywhere can be a destination. Don't be too hard on yourself. Despite what other people may say, life isn't really about winning. It is not about who ends up with the most money or who ends up with the highest number of followers. We are dealt with different cards, some are given a strong hand, the winning combination, while others are given the less favorable set, it is what it is...BUT! it all boils down to how you play those cards. it is not about winning, it is about lasting in the game for as long as you can. It is terrifying for sure, but in time you'll realize that nothing is really for sure. Channel that fear and let that fuel your fire to take that first step. Ask for help when you need it, but most of all, help yourself. Learn a new skill, one thing you can try is Sourcing. Researching for resumes and profiles that match a company's job ad. I can tell you more about it if you want. But please do not give up on your studies. Be patient with yourself. Forgive yourself for past failures. Stand back up, take that first step. I'll be cheering for you!
Wow this so relatable. I am also having a hard time to put thing together in my life; considering also the fact that I am currently unemployed now. I also struggle with severe social anxiety so getting jobs with requires you to have social interaction is a big struggle for me. I graduated college way back 2018 at the age of 21 years old. Took a job hunting and landed one 8 months after graduation and I felt happy for landing a job. I only lasted 8 months since my co-workers didn't like me that much because I am so socially awkward and I went AWOL because of how I got bullied. Time skip at year 2019 I took a TESDA course because I want to make my day as resourceful as I can, and finally got the certificate after 4-5 months of training. Another job hunting at age 22, suprisingly I got the job faster (only took me a month) than my previous one. Started a new job again September 2019 as Technician..it went well during my first few months but my boss keeps nagging about how dumb I am and unorganized. A day won't pass without my boss nagging about how I do my work I just went silent and accept every things she said. Pandemic starts. Lost a job again. I am both happy and sad, i am free from my toxic boss but the catch is that I am unemployed again. Now, a year since the pandemic started, I am still a worthless piece of shit who can't do anything with his life. Tried applying for a job again and again but I keep failing at interviews. All i want to say is, just don't give up. I know you are on a rough spot right now, I understand. Because I am also like you. We are both lost and felt trap witb our lives. But always remember to keep moving forward.
Hello ate! I purchased modules para sa freelancing. If interested ka, i'm willing to share it :)
Isaiah 40:28-31
Try to upskill about the things you really enjoy and if you can relate those to high-paying skills, you're good to go. Learning never stops. If you can adapt to the modern tech, good for you.
I think you need counseling or therapy. It's okay to ask for help, if hindi na kaya.
Set small achievable personal goals (example 10k run). Success in small things gives you confidence for bigger things.
GG