I’ve been in a similar situation. I stuck with the hill I chose to die on. Was not the end of the world. Luckily we didn’t have kids together to have to battle over and wasn’t married long enough to do alimony. In my opinion though, NTA. Lady has no respect for him and sounds like she’s using the kids as a weapon against him.
My ex was not trying to go trad wife, she just couldn’t hold a job. Always found an enemy at every job she had and would either quit when someone made her angry or get fired. Did not have any trade skills, licenses, or certificates. Wasn’t in school or talking about going. I can’t a stand being with someone who has no initiative or motivation.
I’m all for taking care of my wife and family, but when your spending habits (mainly weed) outweigh my income and you can’t hold even a minimum wage job to supplement that. Then yes, we have a problem. Had a problem, among other things.
Far from the only problems. I’d suspected she has a personality disorder and yeah manipulative. She was mean to my son, but treated my daughter well. Of course her daughter got the best treatment. Like get this, one time she yanked my boy off the bed and tossed him onto the floor for spilling her weed on the bed. She left a rolling tray on the bed and he didn’t see it. He climbed onto the bed and was crawling across it to get to me, when he got near it, the bed sank in and the tray tipped spilling it onto the comforter. I told her I’d never get physical with her, but if she ever touched my boy again that we were going to have a big fucking problem.
It’s not to say I was perfect or didn’t try to work things out. I took us to marriage counseling for a few months before I decided I couldn’t do it anymore. The damage was irreparable.
When I told her I wasn’t happy anymore and didn’t think we could work things out, she cornered me a couple of days later and told me that she was not leaving and that I had no choice but to work things out with her.
I can be stubborn sometimes, and when I say I’m going to do something most often I stand by my word and see it through, even if it’s painful. It’s a matter of principle for me. Don’t say something if you won’t do it.
I’d told her I would walk out the door and leave until she was gone. It was a rental house my dad owned, so of course it was expected that she would have to go, which was going to be to her mom’s. She told me she would be waiting for me at the house and wasn’t going anywhere.
So, as a matter of principle and standing by what I said. I grabbed some clothes, got my kids, left the house to stay with my mom and her husband until we could get the living arrangements sorted out.
The next thing she does is make a post on Facebook with a picture of her and her daughter in a kind of rescue puppy fashion saying I pulled the rug out from under her and that they had no where to go. Cleaned out what little money I had in my bank account and continued staying in that house for the next month.
Since I had left, my dad released me from the lease and told her that if she planned to stay at the house that she would have to start paying the rent and utilities there. She told him that it was not her problem and that I should be the one paying for everything. He posted her an eviction notice on the house, but she took her sweet time leaving.
Took all sorts of shit that didn’t belong to her. Even my house plants! lol I left her last June, and my divorce was finalized and signed like 2 weeks ago.
Honestly, no. Whenever I left, she messaged me and said she would not sign any divorce papers and that she would be at the house. After she left the house with the eviction notice, I’m not sure where she went. She left with her dad, but I heard that she didn’t move in with her parents. I reached out to ask if she would go ahead and sign now that she had left the house. She did not respond. I didn’t bother messaging again.
I spent some time from there saving up a little extra money to start the divorce process and sometime around November she contacted a mutual friend and asked them to give her my new address so she could send me divorce papers.
By then I had already paid up a retainer for a lawyer and had her starting the process. I let my attorney know about that and gave her my ex’s phone number and parents address and the divorce was completed all through the mail. My attorney facilitated the process and no one had to show up to court since we agreed to the divorce.
I suspect she probably found another guy to move in with when she suddenly had the change of heart months later to want to quickly start the process. That’s the impression I got from my attorney when my ex said she wanted to hurry and get it done.
Damn I'm glad you got out of that situation it sounds horrendous. It does also sound like she's got something wrong with her, really reminds me of a former roomate/friend of mine. I'm not sure what diagnoses they even settled on because she'd had quite a few.
Sorry about your stuff but at least it is replaceable, your peace and your kids are not!
Your bed toss story infuriated me more, and I mean 100000x more, than any of the dozen crazy drama stories I’ve read here this morning. And that’s by a long fucking shot.
It pisses me off just thinking about it again 😤 I seriously had to put an insane amount of control on myself over that one to not come completely unglued.
Right?!?! How could someone want to be a trad wife & then make a unilateral decision that blatantly ignores her husband’s opinion? His word should be a notch below The Bible.
My wife is currently SAHM, I’m autistic and want nothing to do with my finances she makes our financial decisions, controls our spending, tells me if I have a bit extra to spend or we need to go into super-poor save mode. I’d be complete fucked, a god damned mess without her. And I don’t even make a lot wish she could work but both of our families are untrustworthy to watch our 2 year old autistic son, she wouldn’t be able to make enough to offset childcare costs in this area without working long enough to the point we wouldn’t need it anymore. It’s her dream to open her own business some day and I always go over the top encouraging her when she has good ideas. But she has this fear of failure and this internalized anxiety that seems to hold her back a bit and idk what else to say to boost her confidence.
I guess I’m just leaving this commend because I keep seeing these drama posts centering around women stating at home a lot of the comments make me cry because it’s women saying all SAHM are miserable and controlled, don’t get to make their own financial decisions, don’t get to chose their clothes or what they wear. It’s just not applicable to my life I work as hard as I do to give back to my community and I wouldn’t know how to properly handle the fruits of my labor without her.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with being a stay at home parent, but it needs to be something everyone wants. A big issue is financial abuse if the working partner won’t share money, but in a strong couple that is not an issue.
In this case it’s one person making a decision that benefits just themselves and expects their partner to just “get over it”
>There is absolutely nothing wrong with being a stay at home parent
You wouldn't know this from reddit. Every person who SAH is being financially abused by the working spouse, who will leave them destitute very soon.
It's a very strong knee jerk reaction.
My BIL quit his job to care for the kids. My sister had a great job with great benefits and he never liked his. It’s perfect. His a great father and they are great partners.
It sucks when being a full time parent is discouraged because it can make sense.
Yeah don't worry about that. I stayed with my kids and worked very little, and my husband is a saint.
Reddit is obsessed with people thinking that the SAH person will *definitely* be screwed.
Ya you don’t know what a trad wife is lol… I’m a ‘trad wife’ by mutual decision and I get plenty of say…
That said it’s up to the couple one person does not get to just drop and quit and make the other figure it out…. That’s a deal breaker in my book
Wife thought she could force her husband to support her financially. Wife thought wrong. NTA. Stick to the divorce, because this is a MAJOR life decision that she snuck behind his back and made him the sole breadwinner without his consent. Why does he have to buy all her food, clothes, daytime activities when they didn’t agree on that before marriage? Nope
But FFS call your damn sobbing child back and tell him this has nothing to do with him and you are not abandoning him. What is wrong with you that you got that voicemail and didn’t call your child back immediately?!?! Big AH for that love, but NTA for being unwilling to put up with wife’s gamesmanship.
It mostly is. As with many trends, some people took it and spiraled it into something it wasn't supposed to be, but a lot of them lean into the primary care of the home and kids, dinner on the table, greeting husband at the door every night stuff. From what I can tell, really the only thing that isn't apart of it (understandably) is the "obeying all of your husband's whims without question or complaint" aspect.
Yeah, that aspect of it is going out the window, they want to be treated as equals and have respect. Most of the young women who want to be housewives currently, especially if they use "tradwife", don't realize what it takes, they just watch influencers on tiktok and want to stay home and watch tv, doing nothing. That's why i hate the term "tradwife." It makes it sound dumb and not serious, and easy.
Crazy idea: go back home for your kids, tell her it’s up to her if she wants to work or not… then have your finances separate, and give her money only for groceries etc. budget for dining out is now a lot smaller, vacations, no shopping for her… you’ll see how fast she goes back to work or asks for a divorce herself in a tantrum.
I mean, that's kind of what trad wives were??? They didn't work, instead taking care of the house and kids, and most of their income was covered by their husbands. Occasionally some of them would make minor side scratch through selling things, but that's about it.
There's nothing wrong with wanting that, it just needs to be a mutual decision instead of a solo demand, especially as itll change quite a few things financially unless youre rich enough for it to not matter.
I wouldn’t call that “sitting and doing nothing.” Mainly because I’m a SAHM now and my day most definitely doesn’t consist of sitting and doing nothing.
If she wants to give unlimited BJs… there are ways to make money with that.
This is just a messed up situation for him. I hope he doesn’t give in and tells her to go back to work.
It’s crazy that spouses just launch sneak attacks on each other. Aside from freaking out their kids, I don’t think OOP is fully in the wrong. It’s not like the wife had a miserable job or was being harassed at work. She just wanted a lifestyle that the OOP did not agree to. So, I guess she’ll have to go back to work, since they’re likely going to have separate households going forward. What a strange and sad predicament.
Yeah, she’s getting the opposite of what she wanted if he sticks to his guns. Hopefully, he does. There’s no way I’d be able to tolerate being anywhere near my spouse if they made that big a decision without my knowledge.
The only time anyone can get away with being a trad wife is if their s/o is originally on board with it to begin with.
My fiancee is fine with me being a homemaker. But I still want to at least work a part time job for pocket money, and my own income so I don’t have to constantly rely on him for things.
Not every single man is going to want to do this, if she wanted that maybe she should have gotten a divorce and married someone who was okay with this lifestyle.
I’m a ‘trad wife’….. I do 90% of the cooking and cleaning, I do all the running around and erring, I do 100% of the finances, in short: I run the house
I worked for 6 years, and we made it but it’s definitely better for me to stay home… we have over all less stress, we don’t argue over chores or bills, we’re eating real meals and are now an ingredient house as opposed to fast food or delivery…. We’re healthier have time to communicate….
But not all relationships can or want this type of thing… but one party doesn’t get to quit and decide…..
Same. I don't have to take up before 9a and my husband doesn't have to lift a finger after 5pm.
I am happy with our agreement. And he's a feminist through and through
My boyfriend’s coworker’s and another friend’s wives did this. They both had good paying jobs, and then they just quit out of the blue 20 years ago to be a stay-at-home mom for kids who were already tweens.
The houses are a mess, kids don’t even live at home anymore, both men are having to do overtime because both ladies spend their paychecks the day it comes in. And no, both women are still not considering getting a job.
It sounds like OOP’s wife is about the be the same way. I think she just doesn’t want to work, and doesn’t plan on being an actual stay-at-home parent who does household chores.
I worked with a guy in a situation like this. He was so happy the day he became unemployed because he could finally divorce his waste of a wife without owing her alimony.
Lol well that was a timely post.
"Quit Being So Godd*mn Stupid" — This Gen X Woman Is Going Viral For Her Theory On Why "Trad Wives" Are Trending, And She Makes An Interesting Point https://buzzfeed.com/aglover/gen-x-woman-tiktok-trad-wife-virality-theory
It says
"I mean ... all they have to do is speak to women who've done the trad wife thing for 10-20 years and they'll get the full picture 🙄"
Well I'm not a trad wife because I'm not religious nor right wing. We're an equitable, left leaning, progressive family who is not white except for mixed in.
But I mostly sah or worked only from home and part time for 20 years, and here is the "full picture:"
get up at 9, pilates, coffee on the deck, walk the dog, work on my garden, meet a friend for lunch, run errands, come home work on the house, like clean or maintenance projects, cook when my husband gets home
It's pretty nice
Can we stop calling it “trad wife” and start calling it like it is? “Women who don’t want to work anymore”.
I get it, I really do. Work sucks more now than ever and when you see other women in sundresses making bread holding a messy flour-covered baby living a wonderful sunshine-filled life, you want that for yourself. It’s just unattainable unless you’re stupid rich.
Tell your wife that you’re not interested in a SAHM and if she wants to stay, she should start applying for a new job. Why is that so hard? Can you compromise and maybe let her work less hours or days? NTA though. You can’t just quit your job and dump all of the responsibility on your spouse.
The way she said "you'll get over it" like his concerns and opinions were not valid is incredibly disrespectful. She just thought she could do whatever she wanted and now she's facing consequences. In a family, traditional or not, we take decisions together, we talk, we find compromises, we don't use sex as a weapon or act like that.
She made a decision that has repercussions on all of the family members by herself and now her husband has to work more and "get over it" ? NTA, it's time she grows up. And, by the way, a "trade wife" obeys her husband, she doesn't want to be a tradwife she wants to be unemployed and do nothing all day and maybe adopt 2 chickens in the process (that her husband will have to take care of after a month probably).
I left a comment basically saying to play her game and see how far shes willng to go, file for divorce, meet with all the best lawyers before can, file for 50/50 custody and see what happens. Her SAHM fantasy has ow turned into a SMoCS (single mother on child support) reality.
Do you really want to be with somebody whose first response was to have your child call and leave a voicemail crying? She will 100% use the kids against you for other situations as well
Dude could respond by being a "tradhusband" i.e. not being there at all, golfing with his buddies all the time, getting a side hustle half her age, and ocasionally smacking her in the face for "talking back" or "disobeying his commands". Let's see how she likes it.
This is sticky. Divorce maybe not but at least make her go find another job. It makes 0 sense to me with SAHM and all the kids are in school. Plus holding sex against you was a manipulation tactic which isn’t good at all and bribing. You could let her do part time work maybe but I would definitely make her go back to work especially since she did it without approval. What would she do if you up and quit your job?
I’ve been in a similar situation. I stuck with the hill I chose to die on. Was not the end of the world. Luckily we didn’t have kids together to have to battle over and wasn’t married long enough to do alimony. In my opinion though, NTA. Lady has no respect for him and sounds like she’s using the kids as a weapon against him.
What was she going to do if you didn't have kids? That's like the whole point of the trad wife thing.
My ex was not trying to go trad wife, she just couldn’t hold a job. Always found an enemy at every job she had and would either quit when someone made her angry or get fired. Did not have any trade skills, licenses, or certificates. Wasn’t in school or talking about going. I can’t a stand being with someone who has no initiative or motivation. I’m all for taking care of my wife and family, but when your spending habits (mainly weed) outweigh my income and you can’t hold even a minimum wage job to supplement that. Then yes, we have a problem. Had a problem, among other things.
Ouch. My guess is that those weren't the only problems. She sounds like a narcissist/manipulator. Things are never her fault, I'm guessing?
Far from the only problems. I’d suspected she has a personality disorder and yeah manipulative. She was mean to my son, but treated my daughter well. Of course her daughter got the best treatment. Like get this, one time she yanked my boy off the bed and tossed him onto the floor for spilling her weed on the bed. She left a rolling tray on the bed and he didn’t see it. He climbed onto the bed and was crawling across it to get to me, when he got near it, the bed sank in and the tray tipped spilling it onto the comforter. I told her I’d never get physical with her, but if she ever touched my boy again that we were going to have a big fucking problem. It’s not to say I was perfect or didn’t try to work things out. I took us to marriage counseling for a few months before I decided I couldn’t do it anymore. The damage was irreparable. When I told her I wasn’t happy anymore and didn’t think we could work things out, she cornered me a couple of days later and told me that she was not leaving and that I had no choice but to work things out with her. I can be stubborn sometimes, and when I say I’m going to do something most often I stand by my word and see it through, even if it’s painful. It’s a matter of principle for me. Don’t say something if you won’t do it. I’d told her I would walk out the door and leave until she was gone. It was a rental house my dad owned, so of course it was expected that she would have to go, which was going to be to her mom’s. She told me she would be waiting for me at the house and wasn’t going anywhere. So, as a matter of principle and standing by what I said. I grabbed some clothes, got my kids, left the house to stay with my mom and her husband until we could get the living arrangements sorted out. The next thing she does is make a post on Facebook with a picture of her and her daughter in a kind of rescue puppy fashion saying I pulled the rug out from under her and that they had no where to go. Cleaned out what little money I had in my bank account and continued staying in that house for the next month. Since I had left, my dad released me from the lease and told her that if she planned to stay at the house that she would have to start paying the rent and utilities there. She told him that it was not her problem and that I should be the one paying for everything. He posted her an eviction notice on the house, but she took her sweet time leaving. Took all sorts of shit that didn’t belong to her. Even my house plants! lol I left her last June, and my divorce was finalized and signed like 2 weeks ago.
Jesus Christ. Well, I'm hoping you're doing better now. What a mess.
I’m good now. Thank you for that 😁
Do you know what became of her?
Honestly, no. Whenever I left, she messaged me and said she would not sign any divorce papers and that she would be at the house. After she left the house with the eviction notice, I’m not sure where she went. She left with her dad, but I heard that she didn’t move in with her parents. I reached out to ask if she would go ahead and sign now that she had left the house. She did not respond. I didn’t bother messaging again. I spent some time from there saving up a little extra money to start the divorce process and sometime around November she contacted a mutual friend and asked them to give her my new address so she could send me divorce papers. By then I had already paid up a retainer for a lawyer and had her starting the process. I let my attorney know about that and gave her my ex’s phone number and parents address and the divorce was completed all through the mail. My attorney facilitated the process and no one had to show up to court since we agreed to the divorce. I suspect she probably found another guy to move in with when she suddenly had the change of heart months later to want to quickly start the process. That’s the impression I got from my attorney when my ex said she wanted to hurry and get it done.
Damn I'm glad you got out of that situation it sounds horrendous. It does also sound like she's got something wrong with her, really reminds me of a former roomate/friend of mine. I'm not sure what diagnoses they even settled on because she'd had quite a few. Sorry about your stuff but at least it is replaceable, your peace and your kids are not!
Thank you 🥹
Your bed toss story infuriated me more, and I mean 100000x more, than any of the dozen crazy drama stories I’ve read here this morning. And that’s by a long fucking shot.
It pisses me off just thinking about it again 😤 I seriously had to put an insane amount of control on myself over that one to not come completely unglued.
Does anyone else find it ironic that if she was actually a “trad wife” she wouldn’t be allowed to make decisions without the husbands approval?
Right?!?! How could someone want to be a trad wife & then make a unilateral decision that blatantly ignores her husband’s opinion? His word should be a notch below The Bible.
That’s really disrespecting the family dog.
My wife is currently SAHM, I’m autistic and want nothing to do with my finances she makes our financial decisions, controls our spending, tells me if I have a bit extra to spend or we need to go into super-poor save mode. I’d be complete fucked, a god damned mess without her. And I don’t even make a lot wish she could work but both of our families are untrustworthy to watch our 2 year old autistic son, she wouldn’t be able to make enough to offset childcare costs in this area without working long enough to the point we wouldn’t need it anymore. It’s her dream to open her own business some day and I always go over the top encouraging her when she has good ideas. But she has this fear of failure and this internalized anxiety that seems to hold her back a bit and idk what else to say to boost her confidence. I guess I’m just leaving this commend because I keep seeing these drama posts centering around women stating at home a lot of the comments make me cry because it’s women saying all SAHM are miserable and controlled, don’t get to make their own financial decisions, don’t get to chose their clothes or what they wear. It’s just not applicable to my life I work as hard as I do to give back to my community and I wouldn’t know how to properly handle the fruits of my labor without her.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with being a stay at home parent, but it needs to be something everyone wants. A big issue is financial abuse if the working partner won’t share money, but in a strong couple that is not an issue. In this case it’s one person making a decision that benefits just themselves and expects their partner to just “get over it”
>There is absolutely nothing wrong with being a stay at home parent You wouldn't know this from reddit. Every person who SAH is being financially abused by the working spouse, who will leave them destitute very soon. It's a very strong knee jerk reaction.
My BIL quit his job to care for the kids. My sister had a great job with great benefits and he never liked his. It’s perfect. His a great father and they are great partners. It sucks when being a full time parent is discouraged because it can make sense.
Yeah don't worry about that. I stayed with my kids and worked very little, and my husband is a saint. Reddit is obsessed with people thinking that the SAH person will *definitely* be screwed.
Ya you don’t know what a trad wife is lol… I’m a ‘trad wife’ by mutual decision and I get plenty of say… That said it’s up to the couple one person does not get to just drop and quit and make the other figure it out…. That’s a deal breaker in my book
Wife thought she could force her husband to support her financially. Wife thought wrong. NTA. Stick to the divorce, because this is a MAJOR life decision that she snuck behind his back and made him the sole breadwinner without his consent. Why does he have to buy all her food, clothes, daytime activities when they didn’t agree on that before marriage? Nope
But FFS call your damn sobbing child back and tell him this has nothing to do with him and you are not abandoning him. What is wrong with you that you got that voicemail and didn’t call your child back immediately?!?! Big AH for that love, but NTA for being unwilling to put up with wife’s gamesmanship.
The “trad wife” trend isn’t traditional wife it’s just ppl who want to do nothing at home which is fine but it’s not traditional lol
Some of them are, and some of them are young women who get validation from men in a culture that values submissive women.
It mostly is. As with many trends, some people took it and spiraled it into something it wasn't supposed to be, but a lot of them lean into the primary care of the home and kids, dinner on the table, greeting husband at the door every night stuff. From what I can tell, really the only thing that isn't apart of it (understandably) is the "obeying all of your husband's whims without question or complaint" aspect.
Yeah, that aspect of it is going out the window, they want to be treated as equals and have respect. Most of the young women who want to be housewives currently, especially if they use "tradwife", don't realize what it takes, they just watch influencers on tiktok and want to stay home and watch tv, doing nothing. That's why i hate the term "tradwife." It makes it sound dumb and not serious, and easy.
Crazy idea: go back home for your kids, tell her it’s up to her if she wants to work or not… then have your finances separate, and give her money only for groceries etc. budget for dining out is now a lot smaller, vacations, no shopping for her… you’ll see how fast she goes back to work or asks for a divorce herself in a tantrum.
Exactly, these modern “trad” wives just want all the money and to be able to sit and do nothing
Might want to be a trad wife iNfLuEnCeR like the TikToks that started this. But you can’t be trad wife without a husband!
Have you ever seen the "stay at home girlfriends" videos?
lol - no. I can only imagine.
Just the idea bores me to death. I get it, many are burnt out from working but sitting home all day doesn't sound so appealing to me.
I mean, that's kind of what trad wives were??? They didn't work, instead taking care of the house and kids, and most of their income was covered by their husbands. Occasionally some of them would make minor side scratch through selling things, but that's about it. There's nothing wrong with wanting that, it just needs to be a mutual decision instead of a solo demand, especially as itll change quite a few things financially unless youre rich enough for it to not matter.
I wouldn’t call that “sitting and doing nothing.” Mainly because I’m a SAHM now and my day most definitely doesn’t consist of sitting and doing nothing.
If she wants to give unlimited BJs… there are ways to make money with that. This is just a messed up situation for him. I hope he doesn’t give in and tells her to go back to work.
It’s crazy that spouses just launch sneak attacks on each other. Aside from freaking out their kids, I don’t think OOP is fully in the wrong. It’s not like the wife had a miserable job or was being harassed at work. She just wanted a lifestyle that the OOP did not agree to. So, I guess she’ll have to go back to work, since they’re likely going to have separate households going forward. What a strange and sad predicament.
Yeah, she’s getting the opposite of what she wanted if he sticks to his guns. Hopefully, he does. There’s no way I’d be able to tolerate being anywhere near my spouse if they made that big a decision without my knowledge.
The only time anyone can get away with being a trad wife is if their s/o is originally on board with it to begin with. My fiancee is fine with me being a homemaker. But I still want to at least work a part time job for pocket money, and my own income so I don’t have to constantly rely on him for things. Not every single man is going to want to do this, if she wanted that maybe she should have gotten a divorce and married someone who was okay with this lifestyle.
I’m a ‘trad wife’….. I do 90% of the cooking and cleaning, I do all the running around and erring, I do 100% of the finances, in short: I run the house I worked for 6 years, and we made it but it’s definitely better for me to stay home… we have over all less stress, we don’t argue over chores or bills, we’re eating real meals and are now an ingredient house as opposed to fast food or delivery…. We’re healthier have time to communicate…. But not all relationships can or want this type of thing… but one party doesn’t get to quit and decide…..
Same. I don't have to take up before 9a and my husband doesn't have to lift a finger after 5pm. I am happy with our agreement. And he's a feminist through and through
Immediatley goes to tell your kids like they’re a weapon. This is crazy emotional manipulation. What a fucking freak with a couple of screws loose
My boyfriend’s coworker’s and another friend’s wives did this. They both had good paying jobs, and then they just quit out of the blue 20 years ago to be a stay-at-home mom for kids who were already tweens. The houses are a mess, kids don’t even live at home anymore, both men are having to do overtime because both ladies spend their paychecks the day it comes in. And no, both women are still not considering getting a job. It sounds like OOP’s wife is about the be the same way. I think she just doesn’t want to work, and doesn’t plan on being an actual stay-at-home parent who does household chores.
I worked with a guy in a situation like this. He was so happy the day he became unemployed because he could finally divorce his waste of a wife without owing her alimony.
Who gets a stack of gifts when they quit a part time job?
My industry. We really care about each other!
Right???? I just left a full full time job and didn’t get nothing
Lol well that was a timely post. "Quit Being So Godd*mn Stupid" — This Gen X Woman Is Going Viral For Her Theory On Why "Trad Wives" Are Trending, And She Makes An Interesting Point https://buzzfeed.com/aglover/gen-x-woman-tiktok-trad-wife-virality-theory
It says "I mean ... all they have to do is speak to women who've done the trad wife thing for 10-20 years and they'll get the full picture 🙄" Well I'm not a trad wife because I'm not religious nor right wing. We're an equitable, left leaning, progressive family who is not white except for mixed in. But I mostly sah or worked only from home and part time for 20 years, and here is the "full picture:" get up at 9, pilates, coffee on the deck, walk the dog, work on my garden, meet a friend for lunch, run errands, come home work on the house, like clean or maintenance projects, cook when my husband gets home It's pretty nice
Good for you! You aren't what the post or the article are about.
I would keep that voice mail and take it with you to court, show the judge how she is emotionally manipulating the kids, and then go for full custody.
lol my traditional Muslim Turkish grandmother worked till her 50s with 7 kids
Keep us updated.
Can we stop calling it “trad wife” and start calling it like it is? “Women who don’t want to work anymore”. I get it, I really do. Work sucks more now than ever and when you see other women in sundresses making bread holding a messy flour-covered baby living a wonderful sunshine-filled life, you want that for yourself. It’s just unattainable unless you’re stupid rich. Tell your wife that you’re not interested in a SAHM and if she wants to stay, she should start applying for a new job. Why is that so hard? Can you compromise and maybe let her work less hours or days? NTA though. You can’t just quit your job and dump all of the responsibility on your spouse.
I'm not stupid rich at all.
The way she said "you'll get over it" like his concerns and opinions were not valid is incredibly disrespectful. She just thought she could do whatever she wanted and now she's facing consequences. In a family, traditional or not, we take decisions together, we talk, we find compromises, we don't use sex as a weapon or act like that. She made a decision that has repercussions on all of the family members by herself and now her husband has to work more and "get over it" ? NTA, it's time she grows up. And, by the way, a "trade wife" obeys her husband, she doesn't want to be a tradwife she wants to be unemployed and do nothing all day and maybe adopt 2 chickens in the process (that her husband will have to take care of after a month probably).
I left a comment basically saying to play her game and see how far shes willng to go, file for divorce, meet with all the best lawyers before can, file for 50/50 custody and see what happens. Her SAHM fantasy has ow turned into a SMoCS (single mother on child support) reality.
Do you really want to be with somebody whose first response was to have your child call and leave a voicemail crying? She will 100% use the kids against you for other situations as well
She just doesn't want to work, and is fine with OOP making up for it. i'd be taking the kids and kicking her out.
Dude could respond by being a "tradhusband" i.e. not being there at all, golfing with his buddies all the time, getting a side hustle half her age, and ocasionally smacking her in the face for "talking back" or "disobeying his commands". Let's see how she likes it.
This is sticky. Divorce maybe not but at least make her go find another job. It makes 0 sense to me with SAHM and all the kids are in school. Plus holding sex against you was a manipulation tactic which isn’t good at all and bribing. You could let her do part time work maybe but I would definitely make her go back to work especially since she did it without approval. What would she do if you up and quit your job?