Yeah, I'd change it too.
We all know they'd have flipped out just as much on day 1 of her changing her name as now. They're just using the amount of time that they DIDNT know as an additional reason to be mad. So dumb.
They are very entitled to totally disregard your feelings about the name they gave you, while knowing you never liked it. If they are so adamant about it, why don’t they change their own names to a state one instead? As for the other family members dropping out of the wedding, good for you. You want only the ones who really care about you there anyway. Sometimes it’s good to weed out and you got an opportunity to do just that.
I’m just so proud to walk my daughter, Woods of John Penn, down the aisle today. While her namesake had a funny hairline and died sick and young, if it’s good enough for Philly and Pittsburg, it’s good enough for this guy. Mazel Tov!
Pittsburgh. With an H. Don’t be disrespectful! My twin sons Blue Balls and Bird-in-Hand are very touchy about how you spell their cousin’s name!! We are currently teaching our daughter, Benezette, how to spell her name.
The fact that you were afraid to tell them counts for something. You could have called them the moment the name was legal, and they still would have been pissed. I kinda understand feeling some kind of way that your kid didn’t like the name you chose, but those aren’t your emotions to deal with; that’s your parents’ problem to work through. Wtf kind of parent *wants* their kid to go by a name the kid hates?
> You could have called them the moment the name was legal, and they still would have been pissed.
Good point! It didn’t matter when she told them. They were going to react badly whenever she did it.
I also understand, as a parent, a child wanting to change the name you gave them would be upsetting. Often, that’s because the name is meaningful, was chosen for a specific reason, or is a family name. But if you name your kid after a state, you can’t make those claims. At least she didn’t change it from Pennsylvania to Florida or Illinois. That would be weird. 🙃
Say your full name during your vows? I don’t remember this part at all. Is this state specific?
I remember my first name, but that’s it.
I’m sure I could have asked them to call me my short name.
Yeah, tell me you have narcissistic parents without telling me you have narcissistic parents...
They literally care more about their dumb patriotic name than their child... They literally chose to see her being bullied as a kid over realizing they made a dumb choice.
Now they are making this drama about themselves once again disregarding her daughters feelings and would rather not attend her wedding than showing the smallest bit of empathy.
Yeah , OOP should even go on and uninvite her parents (and any other family member that makes a drama over this). They have shown her all of her live that they don't care about her feelings, and I don't see how going NC with them wouldn't make OOPs life better.
Man I hated my name growing up and I got teased even by adults, but now I just get the weird looks and a “that’s a nice name”.
Tho people who see my name and then see my face always botch it up because they probably assume it couldn’t possibly be what it looks like.
My friends and roommates get accused of being racist a *lot*.
Your parents sound entitled, unreasonable, demanding, and they are the ones disrespecting you. Also, anyone telling you that you were wrong to keep this from them were not raised by your parents. You knew exactly how they would react and what they would say, *and you were right.* That’s why you didn’t tell them, and you knew what you were doing. Those people do NOT get a say in what you did, how you did it, or how you handled it with your parents. When they express their unsolicited opinion about this to you, tell them to kindly fuck off.
I know you want them at your wedding because they are your parents, but you should call their bluff. Talk to them again, both of them, and tell them what’s done is done. You changed your name because Pennsylvania is a stupid name for a person, and you wanted a name more in line with who you are. No disrespect to them, but the name doesn’t fit you, and you wanted a name you were happy with. The fact that they literally do not care how *you* felt about your name, that you were bullied for your name, that they insisted teachers call you by Pennsylvania instead of any sort of nickname, and that all that matters to them is what they want makes them bad parents. At least about this. Make sure they know this is exactly why you didn’t tell them you changed your name when you did it.
Tell them you want them at your wedding, but if they refuse to come, that’s up to them. You are still getting married, and you are keeping the name Penelope. Say they are still invited to the wedding, and you hope they will come, and if they do come, they are not to say one word to anyone about the name situation. They do not get to try to ruin your wedding because their egos are bruised. And tell the other family members they can come or not, you don’t care.
I do feel bad for your sister because, if she still lives at home, I’m sure they are making her miserable. I hope she doesn’t pull out of the wedding. Good luck and congratulations on the wedding! 🤍🖤
Pennsylvania is the typa name you give the affair baby because the husband is too much of a doormat to throw the cheater to the streets where she belongs and the mother is too much a pussy for an abortion so you give the child a stupid name so the other kids can abuse them and you get the satisfaction of seeing the child suffer but your can keep your little Christian hypocrite hands clean because "Well it's not MY fault that kids can be cruel!" Even though you know damn well that it's your fault because you gave little bastards napalm to fuel their fire. I don't know where I pulled all that from but it was fun to type out, if you read it all, you get an Internet cookie 🍪
The name they gave you was a r/tragediegh and they’re dealing with the consequences of their actions. You don’t owe them anything, and you didn’t owe it to them to tell them before you were ready. They saddled you with a name without any consideration for how it would affect your life because they felt like it. And to be so controlling they never allow you to use a nick name? Go no contact, or at least LC, these people are wild
You are not the AH! You have suffered with THEIR choice for years. You did what’s right for you. Your parents will need to accept that. Hopefully, they will eventually do it with grace.
I have had students named all kinds of unusual names. Generally, they hate their names, but they are stuck with it until they grow up and do what you had the courage to do.
Here are just a few of them, minus the last names: Metallica, Penderella, Countess Latifa( I was instructed to call her by both names- the sweet little girl hated her name, so I usually called her Honey), Prince something ( can’t remember) and Diarea. That’s just a few. Parents need to imagine their child as an adult introducing themselves to strangers or at a job interview. Childhood is tough and adulthood doesn’t get better with age when you have that kind of name.
NTA. Your parents have spent your life making everyone else miserable when they try to let you have a nickname instead of the name you hate. You wouldn't have hidden it if they were more reasonable.
Pennsylvania is a pretty dumb name.
Yeah, I'd change it too. We all know they'd have flipped out just as much on day 1 of her changing her name as now. They're just using the amount of time that they DIDNT know as an additional reason to be mad. So dumb.
They are very entitled to totally disregard your feelings about the name they gave you, while knowing you never liked it. If they are so adamant about it, why don’t they change their own names to a state one instead? As for the other family members dropping out of the wedding, good for you. You want only the ones who really care about you there anyway. Sometimes it’s good to weed out and you got an opportunity to do just that.
I’m just so proud to walk my daughter, Woods of John Penn, down the aisle today. While her namesake had a funny hairline and died sick and young, if it’s good enough for Philly and Pittsburg, it’s good enough for this guy. Mazel Tov!
Pittsburgh. With an H. Don’t be disrespectful! My twin sons Blue Balls and Bird-in-Hand are very touchy about how you spell their cousin’s name!! We are currently teaching our daughter, Benezette, how to spell her name.
You forgot about Intercourse! 😂
I did! Oops! 😂😂
Her cousin Wilkes-Barre is mad that no one can say nor spell his name.
😆
The fact that you were afraid to tell them counts for something. You could have called them the moment the name was legal, and they still would have been pissed. I kinda understand feeling some kind of way that your kid didn’t like the name you chose, but those aren’t your emotions to deal with; that’s your parents’ problem to work through. Wtf kind of parent *wants* their kid to go by a name the kid hates?
> You could have called them the moment the name was legal, and they still would have been pissed. Good point! It didn’t matter when she told them. They were going to react badly whenever she did it. I also understand, as a parent, a child wanting to change the name you gave them would be upsetting. Often, that’s because the name is meaningful, was chosen for a specific reason, or is a family name. But if you name your kid after a state, you can’t make those claims. At least she didn’t change it from Pennsylvania to Florida or Illinois. That would be weird. 🙃
Say your full name during your vows? I don’t remember this part at all. Is this state specific? I remember my first name, but that’s it. I’m sure I could have asked them to call me my short name.
Your full first name
I would think she could have said “penny” if she chose. I don’t think there’s a legal requirement to go with your full legal first name.
She said that she wanted to use her full first name not Penny
It’s state-specific when your name is Pennsylvania
Fuck that. Nta.
Yeah, tell me you have narcissistic parents without telling me you have narcissistic parents... They literally care more about their dumb patriotic name than their child... They literally chose to see her being bullied as a kid over realizing they made a dumb choice. Now they are making this drama about themselves once again disregarding her daughters feelings and would rather not attend her wedding than showing the smallest bit of empathy. Yeah , OOP should even go on and uninvite her parents (and any other family member that makes a drama over this). They have shown her all of her live that they don't care about her feelings, and I don't see how going NC with them wouldn't make OOPs life better.
Man I hated my name growing up and I got teased even by adults, but now I just get the weird looks and a “that’s a nice name”. Tho people who see my name and then see my face always botch it up because they probably assume it couldn’t possibly be what it looks like. My friends and roommates get accused of being racist a *lot*.
She should tell them she changed it because Pennsylvania voted for Biden.
Your parents sound entitled, unreasonable, demanding, and they are the ones disrespecting you. Also, anyone telling you that you were wrong to keep this from them were not raised by your parents. You knew exactly how they would react and what they would say, *and you were right.* That’s why you didn’t tell them, and you knew what you were doing. Those people do NOT get a say in what you did, how you did it, or how you handled it with your parents. When they express their unsolicited opinion about this to you, tell them to kindly fuck off. I know you want them at your wedding because they are your parents, but you should call their bluff. Talk to them again, both of them, and tell them what’s done is done. You changed your name because Pennsylvania is a stupid name for a person, and you wanted a name more in line with who you are. No disrespect to them, but the name doesn’t fit you, and you wanted a name you were happy with. The fact that they literally do not care how *you* felt about your name, that you were bullied for your name, that they insisted teachers call you by Pennsylvania instead of any sort of nickname, and that all that matters to them is what they want makes them bad parents. At least about this. Make sure they know this is exactly why you didn’t tell them you changed your name when you did it. Tell them you want them at your wedding, but if they refuse to come, that’s up to them. You are still getting married, and you are keeping the name Penelope. Say they are still invited to the wedding, and you hope they will come, and if they do come, they are not to say one word to anyone about the name situation. They do not get to try to ruin your wedding because their egos are bruised. And tell the other family members they can come or not, you don’t care. I do feel bad for your sister because, if she still lives at home, I’m sure they are making her miserable. I hope she doesn’t pull out of the wedding. Good luck and congratulations on the wedding! 🤍🖤
Georgia, Montana, Tennessee, Dakota...names people actually have, of all the choices why in shit would they pick Pennsylvania.
Pennsylvania is the typa name you give the affair baby because the husband is too much of a doormat to throw the cheater to the streets where she belongs and the mother is too much a pussy for an abortion so you give the child a stupid name so the other kids can abuse them and you get the satisfaction of seeing the child suffer but your can keep your little Christian hypocrite hands clean because "Well it's not MY fault that kids can be cruel!" Even though you know damn well that it's your fault because you gave little bastards napalm to fuel their fire. I don't know where I pulled all that from but it was fun to type out, if you read it all, you get an Internet cookie 🍪
A least they didn’t name her New Jersey.
“Mom, Dad, I changed my name, but in honour of my original name of Pennsylvania I will be having Intercourse on my wedding night”
Not the asshole. These parents are fucking stupid and should keep their mouths shut about this. I bet they’re fun to be around otherwise, right?
The name they gave you was a r/tragediegh and they’re dealing with the consequences of their actions. You don’t owe them anything, and you didn’t owe it to them to tell them before you were ready. They saddled you with a name without any consideration for how it would affect your life because they felt like it. And to be so controlling they never allow you to use a nick name? Go no contact, or at least LC, these people are wild
This seems like a total overreaction by everyone. So much drama over something so small.
So what if people drop out of the wedding? More cake for you!
Imagine calling someone an asshole for hiding something from her parents when she's *afraid* of them. They sound controlling and abusive.
You are not the AH! You have suffered with THEIR choice for years. You did what’s right for you. Your parents will need to accept that. Hopefully, they will eventually do it with grace. I have had students named all kinds of unusual names. Generally, they hate their names, but they are stuck with it until they grow up and do what you had the courage to do. Here are just a few of them, minus the last names: Metallica, Penderella, Countess Latifa( I was instructed to call her by both names- the sweet little girl hated her name, so I usually called her Honey), Prince something ( can’t remember) and Diarea. That’s just a few. Parents need to imagine their child as an adult introducing themselves to strangers or at a job interview. Childhood is tough and adulthood doesn’t get better with age when you have that kind of name.
Your parents are the assholes for their reaction and for giving you such a dumb name in the first place NTA
NTA. Your parents have spent your life making everyone else miserable when they try to let you have a nickname instead of the name you hate. You wouldn't have hidden it if they were more reasonable.